Vocal fakery – how likely is it in k-pop? Fuckin’ likely.

Vocals in k-pop.  Everybody wants me to write about it, but there’s not a lot to say because nobody with a brain cares.  The reasons why nobody with a brain cares are:

  • A good singer’s good vocals don’t make a bad song any better.
  • Most k-pop vocal performances are faked on some level so assessing them is like complaining that the bunny a magician pulls out of their hat was never really in there.

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The first point should be basic common sense to anyone (except vocalfags), so let’s talk about the second point.  What techniques are used to get good vocals out of someone who can’t sing well, or didn’t sing well in a particular circumstance… and how likely is k-pop to be using them?  Let’s find out!  (Spoiler alert: fuckin’ likely.)

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Like money – k-pop music video production costs explained

In k-pop the music video is often as important as the song.  I’d even go out on a not-very-dangerous limb and say it’s a lot more important than the song in most cases, and for a bunch of different reasons, ranging from building a brand, to building interest in the performers, to product placement, to connecting to global audiences and more.  K-pop is at least as much of a visual phenomenon as it is an auditory one, this much is obvious.  What’s a little less obvious to a lot of people is how much money and effort is involved, so that’s what this post is going to discuss… hopefully in a way that doesn’t bore you to shit.

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What makes a music video “cheap” or “expensive”?  How do I tell which is which?  Attentive readers will note that one of my recent Nugu Alert posts touched on the topic of video expenses.  However I didn’t go into a lot of detail in that post, and I’ve been getting requests to write something more in-depth about music video costs ever since, so here we go.

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The differences between K-pop and western pop for those too lazy to write their own school essays

Inquiring minds wish to know the differences between Korean pop and pop from other countries.  What are the differences?  How much has one influenced the other?  Is it true that one is superior?  Why haven’t I posted any images of T-ara girls in tightly-fitting school uniforms lately?

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I keep getting asked about this type of shit so here’s another one of those posts where I wrap some vaguely educational information up in my usual snarky blogging style and shovel it down the throats of a bunch of drooling, shambling Koreaboos.  Please enjoy.*

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Nothing is real – inside instrumental production

A while I made a post that discussed various technical aspects of vocals from an audio engineering rather than a singing point of view, because inquiring k-pop loving minds wanted to know all about vocals and there really aren’t any other posts that I’ve seen out there in the k-pop fan’s world that tackle vocals from any point of view other than either a fan’s or a singing teacher’s perspective.  In the vocal post I discussed the technical ins and outs, and I also asked if people were interested in a similar post about the backing tracks and instrumentals of k-pop.  As it happens, some of you said that you would like a post like that, so here it is.  Be careful what you wish for, hey.

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Why you don’t sound like an idol – inside vocal production

There’s plenty of people these days who know all about the voice and the physiology of singing.  I guess the obsession with vocal knowledge is the cancer that idol TV shows (east and west) have inflicted on the world by continually treating music as a competition with measureable objective standards that don’t exist in reality instead of as an entertainment art.  It’s one motherfucking boring topic that I couldn’t be fucked covering, but I know a lot of people love it and do cover it which is great because it saves me the trouble.  However, how many people know about what happens after the voice leaves the throat and before it gets on a recording that you listen to?  If you’ve ever wanted to know any of that shit, this post is for you (and if you didn’t, you can stop reading now and go fap to Girl’s Day videos, bye bye).

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