I’m still not convinced that NewJeans won’t regret being forced to sing “take it, don’t break it, I wanna see you taste it, sugar, got sugar, bet you want some yeah yo” later in life, so here’s a picture of my cat.

A lot of extreme nugu k-pop agencies are really just fronts for various types of sex work. Floating idol groups with no realistic hope of idol success isn’t always a lack of business nous, sometimes it’s because the agency’s real money game is on-selling the girls (or boys, yep) to clients with the “REAL k-pop idol” fantasy attached for a premium price. I can’t legally tell you who is allegedly doing this, but I’d just like to say thanks to the brave industry insiders who have been taking advantage of my new ultra-secure email inbox… keep doing that, thank you

The reason why history keeps proving me correct about my k-pop world observations is because I have music industry experience with pop artists in my own country and therefore I actually know what the fuck I’m talking about. Kim Garam’s predicament threw up so many “this is someone’s attempt at character assassination” red flags that picking the right side wasn’t difficult.

It’s tough being a Kpopalypse ‘no reason’ sidebar girl – the increased media attention from the huge levels of exposure that this generates can mean that people will often hang off your every word and potentially misinterpret what you say. Don’t worry Jiyoon, only two more months to go!