Did I mention in the previous episode that the next episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert would come around quickly? Well, here it is! Let’s take a look at some more k-pop nugus!
I’m gradually clearing out all my nugu stocks for 2021 so I can clean the slate prior to working on my top and bottom songs of the year. For the most part nugus have actually been deleted because there are simply so many of them, this means that only the best quality nugus are eligible for Kpopalypse Nugu Alert! Quality here doesn’t really mean “good” or even “bad” but perhaps “most nugulike”. Much like an orgasm, it’s difficult to define exactly what makes someone “very nugu”, but you know it when you see it, and as an experienced nugu hunter I both know and see it quite a lot. So please enjoy the following nugu selections as well as more in the weeks to come!
For this episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert we’re looking at female solo artists, because… there are a lot of them! Probably close to 50% of all nugu content ever released in Korea falls into this category. It makes sense – if you’re anyone on this planet you probably know at least one woman in your life who is or was “trying to make it” as a solo singer, and these are some of those people. Because we had sour sad-faced too-cool-for-school rappers in the last episode, this episode I made sure to select female singers who aren’t too cool to smile a lot and look like they’re having fun enjoying themselves (even if they may not be)! Let’s take a look at these Korean singers and cheer them on!
Usual criteria apply:
- Less than 20,000 views on official channels
- Probably won’t be buying as much real estate as IU from their music career earnings
- Relevant to Kpopalypse
Ryeohwa ft. Miss Kim – Cowboy
It’s always a good time for trot at Kpopalypse.com and Ryeohwa’s song “Cowboy” is definitely a good time, plus with the horse riding theme it’s “trot” in every sense of the word. Unfortunately the video does not meet required horse standards as the only actual horse is the imaginary one that the girl with the boobs-harness pretends to be in the video’s introduction. It’s a pretty cool video anyway despite the complete bare bones nature of it, with some agreeably cheesy dance routines and nice props, plus the girl on the left with conspicuously thick shades (who I’m not convinced isn’t AustralianSana in her secret k-pop debut) appears that she can actually play the flute for real, which is impressive and even more so that she’s at least miming it realistically during a dance routine. The whole thing comes off a little like a trot “Kill Bill” and that’s not such a bad thing in 2022 when nobody can get the tone of their songs right.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 9675
Notable attribute: why don’t my local music stores ever stock pink microphones, talk about neglecting a huge target market
Nugu Alert rating: very high
Hyeon Seo Park – Sparkling Rain
“Sparkling Rain” is just very nice. It features a nice girl getting ready to start the day, doing her morning stretches, eating breakfast, picking out some comfortable clothes (that aren’t suspiciously super-insubstantial and clingy in that pedo-friendly NewJeans kind of way) and making sure that the weather is good. Then she goes for walks in nice places like Korea’s infamous concrete caltrop beach, a random gazebo near a wind farm, a bridge somewhere and so on. Okay, so it’s not the most exciting video concept you’ve ever seen and there’s no real meaning to it besides “look at this singer isn’t she pretty” (even the “sparkling rain” of the title is oddly nowhere to be seen because presumably it would mess up her outfits) but it works well enough with the fairly inoffensive and bright song. Even the unnecessarily constant double-tracking of the singer’s voice isn’t too painful, and you should be able to get through all of this tune without going insane and gouging your eardrums out with a nail file, which automatically puts it in the top 10% of nugu content released this year.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 7008
Notable attribute: good work to the drone pilot for dodging those wind farm blades, Ukrainian military take note
Nugu Alert rating: very high
Ha Yerin – Strawberry Milk
Another nugu song that’s actually quite good apart from the places where it isn’t, “Strawberry Milk” has nothing drastically wrong with it other than that the singer has been given too much vocal work to do and struggles with hitting the notes from time to time. Although listening to her is a little awkward as a result, it’s not really such a bad thing, as it will certainly annoy people who care about vocals, and seeing those people get annoyed is always great. It’s a cute little song with a pleasing enough video to match, as Ha Yerin pushes the toddlers away from the playground so she can do a dance in front of it, and sings a lot while holding those tiny strawberry milk boxes. I think she’s having the same problem that I have with Dr. Pepper – my girlfriend loves Dr. Pepper but for some stupid reason no supermarket in Australia will stock a big two-litre bottle of it, so instead if I want to buy her some I have to waste my money buying those overpriced imported small cans which really sucks. Somehow this is CL’s fault.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 1426
Notable attribute: Ha Yerin still has the supermarket’s milk crates, someone should check in on her and make sure she gave them back after the video shoot because this is a big social problem
Nugu Alert rating: extreme
Kim Mulgyeol – Breathe In
Kim Mungyeol is all about the blue, white and green, and this video is nicely easy on the eye for my colour blind self as I don’t have too much information to digest at one time which is very thoughtful. Certainly the matching of the hair to the outfits is pretty cool and I’m digging it a lot. Kim Mungyeol also has a nice Grestch White Falcon acoustic guitar which is pretty, and the zooming on that beautiful instrument during the guitar solo is great. It’s just a pity that she’s not actually the one playing the guitar solo that we’re hearing, in fact she’s not playing anything on the guitar relating to the song at all, but in 2022 just turning up with a guitar is enough to still gets lots of points from Kpopalypse because the lack of guitars in popular music is a problem so even the smallest effort to bring guitar back in style is appreciated. I guess the video director didn’t know anything about guitars and didn’t know that solos don’t just magically appear out of them like a jukebox. Anyway I’m digging the pastoral vibes and all that’s missing is a white horse for her to ride off on but that probably would have broken the budget so running through the fields will have to do I guess.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 419
Notable attribute: the tried and true k-pop “innocent” girl group “touch the grass of the green fields” motion shot is attempted at 0:41 but no grass is actually touched, perhaps Kim Mungyeol was having a bad eczema day
Nugu Alert rating: extreme
That’s all for this episode! There’s plenty of nugus left for this year, so Kpopalypse Nugu Alert will return – soon!