Welcome to another episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert! Let’s check out some more k-pop nugus!
Kpopalypse Nugu Alert is the longest-running series on Kpopalypse.com and has now reached the important milestone of the 69th post! This means, of course, that in this episode we will be exploring sexual content in k-pop nugu videos! However when compiling videos for this all-important post, I ran into an immediate problem – anything that’s very overtly sexual, or in fact even a little bit sexual, tends to attract a lot of views. I’m not sure why this is, could it be a coincidence? But what it meant was that anything that I’d earmarked for Nugu Alert 69 inclusion over the last few months quickly collected too many views to even be eligible. Here’s an example:
Apparently, Berry is “a model and Twitch streamer who is following her childhood dream of becoming a singer”, and of course I was ready to cheer her on, but due to collecting too many views, she’s not eligible despite the fact that her video really isn’t all that risque and that almost nobody reading this would even know who she is. So what I’m trying to say is that I really had to scrape the bottom of the barrel for this post, I hope you perverts appreciate it.
Usual criteria apply:
- Less than 20,000 views on official channels
- I’m not sure if any of this content will turn you on, but if so, you’d probably be one of the only people fapping to it
- Relevant to Kpopalypse
Jue feat. Paloalto – Your Plan
Okay so guest Paloalto sure isn’t nugu, but Jue certainly is, and I guess it makes good marketing sense if you’re a Z-tier artist to shell out some extra dollars for a C-tier artist to appear on your new song, hopefully it paid off for her and she was able to up her fame levels with this track slightly but she does get docked some serious nugu points for this. Of course Paloalto’s strictly average rap contribution probably had little to do with the amount of views here as much as Jue’s fanservice, which starts off with some foot-fetish friendly action before moving on to various different visual presentations of different levels of suggestiveness that I will leave you to interpret. It’s all pretty well done and shows what you can achieve with a house full of random crap, a camera and some determination. Of course it’s a shame that some of that energy wasn’t spent on making the music a bit more interesting, but in the face of the lack of music quality I will take a white dress with black dots on it (which neatly contrasts with Paloalto’s black shirt with white dots, not sure if that was intentional but good work dot-matching team).
Youtube views at the time of writing: 12962
Notable attribute: if this video wasn’t suggestive enough, at 0:50 she even has a cookie, pause the video and take a lookie, baked at her place only, come get some
Nugu Alert rating: average
Hiryang – Ur Like Hell
There’s always a space for trot in Kpopalypse Nugu Alert, and Hiryang is our trot singer in the sexy category. Hiryang doesn’t exactly trot out the low-cut dresses, but she does stare seductively at the camera, applies lipstick a lot (only to ruin her own hard work at the end of the video for some weird reason), turns on the deep red strip club lights and generally struts around like she means business which I guess is what passes for a “sexy concept” in the trot world. The song isn’t actually too bad, except for the bit near the end where they decide to remind you that this is ‘sexy’ or whatever, dim the lights and do the usual breakdown thing. But she does sing “Kara” a fair bit, or maybe it’s not “Kara” but KARA were a pretty hot group back in the day and being reminded about them certainly helps the mood along. Anyway I tried to find out more about Hiryang, which led me to some strange site’s “Hiryang Facts“:
Also is it just me or does Hiryang look like a cross between Pristin’s Kyla and Lovelyz’ BabySoul? Okay, that’s probably just me.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 12070
Notable attribute: the narrow corridor she runs around in very purposefully like she’s going somewhere terribly important has a couple large boards in front of the only exit, guess she’s not going very far
Nugu Alert rating: high
Chaerin – Runaway
It’s time for this episode’s sexy LGBT content and Chaerin delivers with a really cute song that I absolutely like, and an even cuter video. The plot here is that some kind of tribal archer person who would probably offend overly pearl-clutching American k-pop fans with her outfit if only they knew who she was, comes across a hot Jeongyeonish coloniser in the freshly-mowed not-very-rural-looking forest, and they both mutually decide that they would rather make love, not war. Cue lots of holding hands, sharing bites out of the same fruit and all those other things film directors do when they want to imply a lesbian relationship but also get their music video over the line with Korean censors without causing too much fuss because they can’t afford to reshoot anything on a limited budget if someone complains. The whole thing is really sweet and has enough gay pride energy to make Putin fire a cruise missile at a kindergarten, highly recommended.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 1610
Notable attribute: map at 2:46 is actually a map of Middle Earth from The Lord Of The Rings, making this a pretty cute fantasy LARP
Nugu Alert rating: extreme
Kim Daru – Swim
When I first started watching Korean pop music videos that had any sort of romantic plotline in them, I noticed one thing almost straight away, which is that you never get to see anybody ever kiss. You’d almost always have two people’s lips approaching and then the scene would cut away to something else or freeze all of a sudden, and I always assumed that it was because South Korea is a conservative shithole run by pigheaded religious cuntstains and the idea of two people kissing might bump up the viewing-age ranking too much according to their shitty what’s-naughty scale. Now I have no idea if that’s the real reason (although it probably is) but Kim Daru clearly does not give a single fuck because here is some chick with a nose mole to rival Qri and some token buff man-meat pashing on like there’s no tomorrow, sexy slow-motion and all. Okay, so it’s really not the best song but I just really appreciate the lack of taboo here and I want to see this kind of kissing action in all music videos with a love interest theme, you can do it k-pop, stop being lame, do it for Kpopalypse thank you.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 603
Notable attribute: yeah they might kiss a bit but the guy still goes swimming with jeans and a t-shift on, no wonder she left him
Nugu Alert rating: extreme
That’s all for this episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert! Kpopalypse will return soon with more nugus!