The RESULTS of the Kpopalypse 2022 survey of caonima action!

It’s time for the results of the latest Kpopalypse survey!  Let’s take a look!

Question 1: Hi! How are you? Please answer in as much or as little detail as applicable.

Some selected answers, and my responses:

I just had my first colonoscopy. The day before, when you’re not allowed to eat anything solid is the worst part about it but the actual surgery was a breeze. Having doctors inflate your intestines and shove a camera up your ass sounds pretty scary, but they’ve got great drugs to knock you out and you’re out of there in a couple of hours. No pain afterwards, not a single side effect. Get it done and avoid getting colon/intestinal cancer, which is the second leading killer among all cancers, that kill over 900,000 people every year. This has been a public service announcement.

Just passing on this PSA because as you’ll see in the next question, quite a few of my readers are old fucks even older than me who could probably use a camera up their ass just to check that there’s nothing up there besides poop, their boyfriend’s jizz and that lost TV remote control.

Today is crap. I am currently in the waiting room of a vet emergency hospital, because my dog stepped on something during our walk this morning and left bloody paw prints all over the kitchen floor, she’s acting okay now but I want a doctor to see it in case she’s got glass embedded in there or gets an infection. And I’m very lucky that it’s not worse, because yesterday we had to make a four-figure payment to a *different* vet emergency hospital, because as I was driving down a busy road yesterday two dogs ran into the street and I hit one of them. It was alive and I offered to help with the hospital payment because I felt so fucking awful about the whole thing, even though it was technically not my fault, but to make things worse I’m pretty sure the dog’s owners are poor and it’s going to be hard for them to cover half of a US$4000 vet bill even if I covered the other half. (I have pet insurance on my dog so our trip today shouldn’t be so bad. Part of the reason I got pet insurance is that running out into a busy street is exactly the kind of dumb shit she would do, and has done, and the only reason she hasn’t gotten hit is that we live in a quieter street.) So the moral of the story is that cat owners are clearly smarter than dog owners, please congratulate yourself and Jennifer for your superior common sense.

Another good PSA.  Our cat stays indoors for a reason.  That whole things where cats are super agile and always land on their feet, that’s not our cat who routinely does things like lie on the edge of the bed, fall asleep, then roll over during her nap and hit the floor.

1) Less emotionally affected by the death of Elizabeth II than I had expected (2) Shocked by reports of the stress and strain suffered by Loona on their tour (3) Anxious about the possible disbandment of WJSN (4) Sad about the almost certain disbandment of Laboum (5) Excited by the teaser for Loona — Luminous

Apparently John Lydon has been recently walking back his “God Save The Queen” lyrics and saying “oh, now isn’t the time”, how pathetic.

Very meh. Apparently there are people out there who enjoy Cat and Dog by TXT, which ruined my week, but hey, it could be worse.

I’m sure they’re just trolling you.  Nobody likes this fucking song, not even TXT fans.  They just pretend to like it ironically, like when you go and see some band in a pub and they’re total crap but you dance anyway not because you like it, but because you think the song is so moronic that dancing to it is the dumbest and most hilarious thing ever, and then the dance floor fills up and you wonder “what the fuck do people really like this” but you look on their faces and they all have the same ironic smirk that you have and you realise that the whole room is actually taking the piss out of this dreadful band and you just all have a good time together.

I only have one foot in the kpop fandom these days *snore* zzzzzzzz kpopalypse is best for keeping up to date with the new shit in kpop. kpopalypse fandom is best most peaceful fandom

It’s actually quite common for a lot of people who read this site to not pay attention to k-pop much generally – and who can blame them.

Fucking horrible today, depressed and in pain. Hoping that this dumb survey will distract me for two minutes.

I hope this results post helps!

Alright actually. Much better than earlier this year. An important research project that was causing me immense stress from last November to this year’s June ended on a surprisingly good note, and I’m continuing to work with my supervisor for that project for the time being. I also feel like I have more direction in my life right now. Been trying to decide what path I wanted to pursue post-grad for the past 2 years (have to make my decision for sure near the end of this year), and I’m now nearly 100% sure of my decision.

Good work, congratulations!

I’m fine. I should be studying for a genetics test right now… I’m getting my undergrad degree in biology in my 30’s because I fouled my 20’s up. Young kpopalypse readers who write in to oppar for advice, you have so much time, don’t worry if you don’t have it all figured out yet. The weather is rainy but I should go outside and touch some grass after I finish filling out this survey.

My roommate made us pork chops and roasted broccoli for lunches today and to have leftovers for lunches this week and they turned out very well. Actually, I think the pork chops are a little tough, but she worked very hard and it’s her first time making them and I’m a good friend so I won’t tell her that. We’ve been best friends for 12 years and roommates for 7 years and while we’re both good cooks, we’re in a routine and tend to cook the same 10-15 dishes in a loop; so we were overdue for something different.

I hope anyone who’s reading this eats something delicious made by a good friend this week, too.

I’d give some tips for cooking pork chops but I’m actually pretty bad at this type of cooking and would probably fuck it up too.  My girlfriend cooks all the “meat and three veg” type meals and I cook all the Asian stuff.

It・€・s 3am right now while I・€・m typing this nonsense. But melatonin chose to cbf this time around so here we go. Heya oppar, not sure what to say really but I・€・m the Probation Period anon in QRIMOLE. Little update here, I passed on the period. Things are quite getting a bit better on coworkers even it・€・s still awkward af. Getting better on mental health, me and my bf are helping each other a lot. Losing a good friend ・€・cause of my past action but whatever. TLDR it・€・s OK I guess, but quite better than last month.

I also post responses here (and in QRIMOLE) completely unedited (unless specified), and I”m not sure what’s going on with the ‘ being replaced with ・€・ in your response but I thought I’d share it here to let you know.

To be honest, I’m feeling like shit right now. My mental health is quite low this week, not because what’s happening in my life (without any big hardships in years for a change) but because I still refuse to treat my depression AND stopped making physical activities such as weight lifting. I’m more stupid than a Allkpop reader, I know…

Hopefully seeing your answer here gives you a mental health boost now get your depression treated, and also get back to the gym here’s some motivation.

autistic as fuck

Speaking of Henry Rollins, this might be interesting for you.

Hi. Since my announcement to post poems under your posts from time to time, I have focused on a specific type of Buddhist poems (Odosong), because I just found them back then and was fascinated by them a lot. I still enjoy these poems, but my studies (I actually study Korean Studies) have brought me to new shores. I have recently done some research on the more political side of South Korean literature.
Over the time of Japanese annexation, the Korean War, and the 30 years of military dictatorship, (South) Korean literature has turned political. Many writers wrote prolific verses for democracy, criticized the government, gave their opinion on the South-South divide (the question of how to engage with North Korea), all this kind of stuff. I wanted to get into such literary figures (although my studies focus on writers engagement in the public discourse on the South-South divide). Recently, I found out about one quite interesting writer just because it so happened that he moved to Germany for some years and attended my university:
Kim Myong-su was born in 1945 and did indeed spend some time here in Germany studying German literature. He started publishing poems at first metaphorically and later on bluntly criticizing South Korean politics and society; he especially wrote about the military dictatorship of Chun Doo-hwan (1980-88) and the aforementioned South-South divide. He is nowadays on a more holistic trip, more concerned with the human nature and stuff like that. He has written children’s books, translated German works into Korean, has been awarded many literature prizes, et cetera pp.
What I want to do now is introduce his earlier, political writing by presenting to you a poem from his book ・・・・・・ (“Lunar Eclipse”) from 1983. His early poems are very notable for being very simple to understand in its basic, often object-focused content, but behind that lie heavy political implications. Here is his poem “Passing through Seobinggo” (“Seobinggo(dong)” is a part of the “Yongsan” district of Seoul):

Passing Through Seobinggo

The train I took at Cheongnyangni
Rolled past Wangshimni,
And now Yongsan is floating by.

A cousin of mine just moved to Ichon-dong,
Lives with the Han river in sight.
Viewed from the railcar window,
The houses studding the Wangshimni hills,
Not an inch of space between them,
Stood crowded as ever on the rocky slopes.

One more stop and we will be at Seobinggo station.
As the train leans into a turn,
Round the lowhanging clouds,
Soon it is slicing past green lawns,
And on the airy hill beyond,
With flags hoisted high,
U.S. Army buildings stand sparsely scattered here and there.

It being Saturday afternoon,
Inside the doubled, the tripled barbed-wire fence,
the casually clothes American troops are playing a leisurely round of golf,
And outside is a warning sign in English,
Reading “No Entry” in red letters.

Listlessly standing about
Are peddlers of our race,
And crowded busses are speeding off,
Leaving plumes of dust behind.
But then, as I turn my head and cast darkened eyes at the Han river,
The river of quiet sorrows-
That still those waters slowly flow on,
Moves me to tears of joy.


(notes:
“Cheongnyangni” and “Wangshimni” were train stations; nowadays they are subway stations.
“Yongsan(gu)” is an administrative district of Seoul north of the Han river.
“Ichon(dong)” is part of Yongsan.
The Han river is the big river flowing through Seoul.)

Typically for Kim, he describes a quite mundane thing in a very objective way. There is not much you can draw purely from the words themselves. However, he mentions things for a reason: The Han river is the “origin” of Korea (“Korea” in Korean is “Hanguk”, or “Land of the Han”, and this “Han” is derived from this river, so the Koreans are the “People from the Han river”, so to speak), and the lyrical subject is driving through a part of Seoul well known for its view over said river. The presence of the US in South Korea has been put under increased scrutiny during the years of Chun Doo-hwan’s dictatorship throughout the 80s, and the people eyeing democratic reforms started to more and more despise the US for silently accepting and even courting the brutal dictatorship in South Korea just for the sake of having a US-friendly stronghold on the communists doorstep (especially because Chun was the second dictator in a row staging a coup d’etat and seizing power from the legitimate head of state after the death of former dictator Park Chung-hee). In this poem, Kim contrasts the nice and hassle-free life of the US soldiers with “peddlers of our race” who have to cram themselves into crappy old busses. The soldiers have lots of space to roam around and live freely, but the South Koreans live in a city where houses are jam-packed wherever they’d fit. These two kinds of people are seperated well by barbed wires; they are not supposed to come into contact. The South Koreans are denied the wonderful life of the free.
In the end, the lyrical subject looks upon the Han river, a representation of his people, and sees it still flowing. The residing will of the Korean people to live on and change the status quo moves him to tears, maybe because he has lost hope in his endeavours for a moment, and this sight has revived it.

I think this is a very nice poem that also captures the anti US sentiment of the South Koreans during the late 20th century in a stunningly depictive way. When reading Kim’s collected works, one can, I believe, learn much about the society and politics of South Korea especially in this time period, which is why I would regard him to be one of the poster children of modern Korean literature. He is quite an exemplary figure.
I hope that was somehow interesting. Even if not, well, tough luck, I will keep on posting this shit when I’m bored enough, fuck you.

I had to delete the Hangul version of your poem because of the same ・€・ bug that happened with the other reader, sorry about that.  I guess it’s a Google forms thing.  Anyway thanks for writing in!

Well, I’m still alive. Just bopping to T-ara, Orange Caramel, 9Muses, etc. Usually I look at and collect pictures of NCT’s Ten, Xiaojun, Hendery, Yangyang and Taeyong (yes I’m already doing promo for next year’s objectification survey, so please check them out too). Also it’s nice seeing Ten back in Korea again after almost a year in China (he did some dance show with Cheng Xiao and Fei). Btw he also has two cats, Leon and Louis. And Xiaojun has a dog named Bella. That info could be of interest to anyone. Hopefully we get to see more WayV stuff again. (Lucas definitely did something to warrant WayV getting shelved so hard. My guess is it incriminates SM too.) So yeah, could be worse.

This reader has the right idea about life.  Remember folks that it’s never the wrong time to prep folks for the next objectification survey!

it’s so hard to avoid people on a small college campus. i broke up with my partner and now it’s awkward between me and them, but also their friend group, who are genuinely cool people that i wish i could get to know better

Fuck cool people, find some nerdy uncool person and get to know them instead.  You’ll have a friend for life.

really bad actually! i keep getting harassed and just generally getting yelled at and insulted by guys from my class and usually i don’t even pay it any mind but they went super far today (wasn’t even in school, i was waiting for my train stop) and even after i told them to fuck off they kept yelling at me so i started filming them and then they just went up to me threatening that they’ll take my phone or beat me up if i don’t delete the videos so i did. i don’t even know what to do now because i feel like if i tell a teacher they’ll just blame me for letting it get to that point but what am i supposed to do if i just get insulted and screamed at by several people each and every day
(i really don’t want it to make it seem worse than it is, they just call me emo and gay and shit because they’re mentally challenged german teenagers stuck in 2011) (by the way i didn’t even fully delete one video so i still have that i guess)

You had the right idea with recording them, but finding a sneakier way to do it is better.  Give your phone to a friend and let THEM record it while you get bullied and then kick their ass.  See this post for more about what to do when bullied.

Oh goody goody, this is the part where I tell you how much my life sucks and write a long paragraph to bitch about first world problems right, right?
So let’s get to it then, Oh my god you would not believe… yeah sorry I got nothing.
Sure life sucks, I have problems but I got food to eat, A roof over my head, Clothes on my back and even internet(obviously), and My home isn’t getting shelled either.
So all in all I’m doing okay, considering there are others who are way worse of than me.
Now if you would ask this in a few months when the winter up here in the northern hemisphere sets in my answer let’s just say might be a hell of a lot more different but as is I’m doing good.

Generally speaking:

  • There’s always someone in your life who has it worse than you
  • There’s also always someone in your life who has it better than you
  • While it’s good to be grateful for what you have it’s also healthy to vent frustrations every once in a while
  • I thought northern hemisphere didn’t have winter anymore cos of the climate thing, no winter just Chuu

trying to lose weight and work on mental health at the same time. kpop as avoidance does not help tbh.

Yeah as far as music styles go, k-pop isn’t a great mental health go-to.

Hi! I’m doing okay I think.

What was supposed to be about a 4 month break away from work due to burn out has evolved into maybe me being let go permanently because I prefer working from home close to my friends and family instead of a couple of provinces (about a 15 hour drive) away from them. The way they explain it, they get a tax credit for me being in their province so me being in my home province simply isn’t in the budget. And I get that, it just sucks.

I think what scares me the most is that…. I kind of want to get let go? I have huge anxiety about saving money for retirement and everything so my brain keeps telling me to get on my knees and beg for them to let me keep my job… But for the last half a year or so of my job, I had awful mood swings, depressive episodes and severe lack of energy and was just generally burnt out every single day. The part of me that hates myself thinks that I’m just being a huge baby about this, but I know that there was something really wrong with the way I was going down.
I feel huge guilt about my job. I wonder why I can’t soldier on, why I can’t just go absorb some sun and let the vitamin D cure me or why I can’t just will myself to be happy at my job.

I’m an animator, and for so many that’s in the “dream job” realm of things. People tell me that my job is so cool, and that I’m so talented to have gotten it; my supervisors have told me that I’m an asset to the team and are happy to have me around. But I just…. I feel so listless at the job and I’m almost scared that they’ll somehow find some way to keep me on and then I’ll become miserable again.

Sometimes I dream about getting let go and pursuing my own art as a career, but I just don’t think that’s feasible for me. I’m good at drawing. I just don’t think I’m anything special really. I’ve always thought of myself as an artist without any creativity, but whenever I express these feelings to people I know they always feel that they have to hype me up, that I’m just being down on myself. I just wish I could see myself the way that they see me; maybe then I’d have enough skills and talent to actually succeed.

I don’t know if I sound silly complaining about this, but I feel stupid and awful for feeling this way. I’m so privileged and I feel I’ve wasted it all; squandering it away because I couldn’t handle it all.

Anyways, I typed out all of that shit but I actually am doing fine right now. Being on break for a couple of months now has been good for me I think. I spent a lot of time just sitting in the sun or walking outside. I moved to be closer to my friends but still within a couple of hours from my family. And I’ve finally picked up drawing again after not drawing for myself for months and months and months. And of course, I’ve been keeping up with KPOP and by association, this website.

So thank you for being around; when I come here sometimes I get a good laugh, sometimes I get music I wouldn’t have otherwise found before and sometimes I learn about music or find a different way of viewing things. No matter what though, it’s always worth the visit. I’ve been visiting this website since I was in high school I think, so it’s genuinely almost been a decade of visiting this site for me and I find it weirdly comforting coming here.

Anyways, sorry for the long message. Thank you for being here, and I’m doing fine right now. We’ll see about the future; maybe during the next survey I’ll have happier news?

When I was learning guitar, I really looked up to my guitar teacher.  I told him I’d like to teach guitar full time too one day, because it seemed like such a cool job and I didn’t know what else I wanted to do, and he said “no you don’t”.  I didn’t believe him, so years later I became a full-time guitar teacher for a while.  Turns out – he was right!  What people don’t tell you about your “dream job” is that any job gets boring if you do it enough, and that if your job is something you love, not only do you get bored, but you can also start to lose the love for that thing that is your passion because it becomes something that you have to do.  So honestly while the “dream job” works for some, for other people it’s sometimes better to just get any job that pays well and that you can do to a good level of competency, and then your dreams are free to enjoy when you want to enjoy them, rather than being an obligation that you must do x hours per week of whether you’re feeling inspired to do them or not.

i’m okay. this one teacher (who teaches an elective btw. not a required course) decided to email my parents about me doing my math hw during her class and now they’re mad. like i’m sorry but math is more important than your class be real. i have a lot of other things to talk about too but i’m sure you don’t care + you probably have tons of other responses to get thru so i’ll cut it short here. hope you’re having a good day! dreamcatcher’s dami is very pretty isn’t she

Your parents will get over it.  Yes Dami mrs

Hello! To be honest, I’m shocked it’s time for this shit again, but I thoroughly enjoy answering the survey and reading the results!
Also, I’m that caonima that had her cat go missing, so and update: the little caonima was living with (more like abducted by) an elderly neighbor who could not resist her cuteness and started feeding her raw chicken guts, pork rinds and other delicious stuff and never bothered to read the plaque on her collar (supposedly the cat would not let the old lady pet her, but I have a hard time believing that bs). We still have no idea if she forgot the way back home, was not let outside often or just decided to stay there for the daily feast as she is very food motivated. One day my cousin was walking her dog when she saw the little fuck (affectionate) sunbathing atop a wall, and called us to verify. We were fucking flabbergasted as she went missing for around five months, but nonetheless very relieved.
Other than an update on the situation, I wanted to remind everyone the importance of keeping an eye on your cats when they are outside and not give into their demands to be let out at night or when they cannot be supervised, you can always distract them by playing with them if they’re being little shits about it. Nothing is worse than having your pet go missing and I really got lucky this time.

Just putting this here to share the good news!

I’m not feeling that well because I’m struggling with managing a long term relationship that has suddenly changed from 5+ years of living together to a long distance relationship and even though we love each other and have prospects of living back together (and most likely getting married) in a near future I can’t get my head off of seeing other people during this moment we’re apart. Ever since I was a teenager I have always dated someone (I’m almost 30) and the only time period I was actually single I wasn’t interested in one night stands and having multiple partners, so in practice I haven’t lived as a sexually active single person my whole life, and won’t ever if we actually get married. I thought I was fine with that just because I like them more than any other person in the world and I think that no one’s more compatible with me than they are, but ever since we started living apart I can’t help but feel that I’m going to regret not having this experience when I get older.

I have already discussed the possibility of seeing other people with my partner and I made it very clear that I wasn’t looking at those people as prospective partners and felt only physical attraction, but they have reacted really badly to it and after that conversation they started acting insecure about everything, so I guess that further discussing it with them is out of option. I figure that I’m now left with three choices:

– Actually “cheat” on them and tell them afterwards at an appropriate timing, and let them decide how to deal with it (the honest choice, might result in a trainwreck later)
– “Cheat” and don’t tell, which seems to be the best if I take my needs into consideration but this might bring a burden to my life eventually, although I don’t think it would be bigger than regret I would have felt had I not done it (the safest but potentially risky choice)
– Don’t cheat and try to overcome the regret with knowing that I made the most mature and level-headed choice, but my biggest fear is that I end up resenting them the rest of my life because of that

I really wanted to have your input on this, have you ever gone through something similar? What do you think I should do? Based on your past answers about long distance relationships you always tend to tell people to go through the honesty path but I think this one might be the most damaging to both of us since they probably wouldn’t break up and just become more insecure about themselves.

I’ve never quite had this experience, I’ve only had the opposite experience (lots of short relationships while I was specifically looking for something longer).  You already went the honesty route and your partner couldn’t handle it, and you’re not married yet… so why the fuck not follow your dreams, seriously.  Whether you tell your partner or not is up to you, but if it were me, I’m a very honest person so I’d tell my partner BEFORE anything happened that I was going to see other people, and why, and then it’s up to them what they do about it.  In my mind it’s not cheating if it’s full disclosure before the event.  If they choose to break it off with me permanently, after I’d already made very clear the context of what I wanted to do and why, they weren’t right for me anyway.  One thing to consider though before you jump in is that it might be a case of “grass is greener on the other side of the fence”, once you start playing around you might find that it isn’t as great as you thought, and then (if you’ve been upfront) you’ve lost your long-term relationship too.  So I’d suggest before doing any of the above go on a few secret test-dates where you DON’T do anything that crosses a line into anything sexual enough to make you feel guilty about cheating, just to see if this is really what you want before you dive in.  An important caveat: you have asked Kpopalypse this question and many people say that I have no moral values.  They could be right, so take my advice at your own risk.

hello!
i’m in a very vulnerable state of my life right now. i’ve been to the psych ward twice in about the span of a month, on top of getting a colonoscopy & also having to get an ileostomy installed, so basically im shitting in a bag for the next few months. things.. really suck right now.
on top of all that, my best friend of 6 years has been wanting distance from me due to my mental illness symptoms worsening these past few months, so i decide i need space because our friendship had been feeling sort of estranged and i don’t want to worry about this relationship drama while i’m still recovering from surgery. somehow, this action upset her because she proceeded to block me on EVERYTHING you could possibly think of. like i’m blocked on Spotify of all places. i do not understand the logic or endgame of this action.
and truthfully i had been slowly moving onto this acceptance phase of “she’s not my friend anymore, i need to move on, i need to focus on recovering and getting my life together” only to find out she still wants to talk once im no longer so “fragile”
this is incredibly confusing and frustrating and is the last thing i need right now.

Get this friend out of your life, permanently.  A friend who only wants to know you when you’re feeling good but abandons you in tough times, is not a friend worth having.  Real friends will be with you through the hard times.  Other than that I hope you get well soon, stay strong.

I’ve been doing well, the last few weeks have been quite hectic trying to re-acclimate myself into university life. California’s housing crisis (we’re super important cuz we got more people than the entirety of Canada XD), has impacted university housing catastrophically, leaving thousands of the campus population without any shelter. As a result, we have people living in their cars, renting trailers and hotel rooms, etc. I’m sure this gives a ton of tertiary academics more sympathy towards the city’s prominent homeless population if nothing else.

I was unfortunately a part of that fallout, luckily my parents and I were able to secure a nearby apartment within walking distance of the campus. This is makes my situation immeasurably better, but completing tasks like setting up electricity/gas, changing out the locks, harassing the property manager for menial requests and what not is all a very involved and strenuous process. I’m looking forward to mid-October when I can stop being a proactive and affable tenant and start being a lazy slob, here’s hoping I don’t get kicked out.

On the other hand, I’ve been having a great time quenching my insatiable lust for kpop boys XDXDXDXD! Considering the pervasiveness of extreme conservatism in South Korea, I acknowledge my favorite oppars are likely diametrically opposed to my progressive queer fag sissy ideology (or well progressive in Murica, mundane and moderate elsewhere). But I can’t stop my dick from swelling, nor do I want to stop the classy sexy fantasies that fuel my greatest faps! It’s tricky to find an equilibrium between craving for NCT’s hot sauce and being TXT’s semen lapdog, but also realizing they likely would rather have classy funtimes with the likes of Eunha or Yua.

Choosing to embrace fapping to kpop oppars has been a great experience overall 10/10 would recommend. While I like pursuing Twitter to attain saucy pics of my fap biases, I also believe stans of my said biases would be happier if they embraced the sexual desire they harbored for the individuals they idolize and deify.

I also am oddly turned on by the prospect of being impregnated by one of my resident NCT or TXT daddies. I have a dick and abhor the idea of raising children, so I do not know what the root psychological cause of this is, perhaps derivative of pegging/domination. More classy sexy research is required it seems XD

Yeah that fetish is certainly different especially for a guy, but hey – it’s the best of both worlds, you can “get impregnated” without all the hassle of destroying the next 18-45 years of your life looking after offspring.

Well I’m feeling really weird about finally hitting 25 and not seeing much changing in my life. I’ve gained weight, my skin has gone to shit, I’ve give up on all my hobbies because for some reason I’m too overwhelmed to do anything after a 9-5 job grind, so idk how my coworkers manage to balance full lives – like they wanna hang out and go do karaoke & shit after work while I just wanna go home and sleep. I like them a lot, too, and always am up for anything that happens during work hours like going out to lunch or beers if we’re working late etc, so idk why I’m so desperate to claim “personal time” like this. Extreme introversion? Insecurity? idk

I also haven’t seen my friends in YEARS so idk if they can even be called friends anymore. My 2 closest friends aren’t in the same city as me & won’t be coming back even to visit anytime soon, I distanced myself from my college group because I felt like I was too broke to go partying and clubbing with them every Friday night (my strict parents wouldn’t have let it happen anyway). Now that I’m a grown adult living alone and can finally afford barhopping, I’m too embarrassed to hit my college friends up because I don’t know how to make things less awkward between us again. I only meet up with 1 girl, and that’s only because she lives nearby. I know that I need to be the change I wish to see and all, but I’ve been stunned into inaction by the sheer amount of…..everything….that I have to do to lead the kind of life I want.

on the bright side I now am a proud mother to a beautiful cat who I rescued from the streets!! One night he woke up from his comfy bed just to curl up and fall asleep next to me. I will move mountains to keep him happy I think

You have a cat now, so I see your entire situation as a net positive.  I will be your friend until you find new ones, send me cat pics on Twitter.

Brazil SUCKS so NOT GREAT

Bolsonaro is definitely going to do a Trump and claim he won the election no matter how much he clearly lost it, so get ready for it to get even worse in Brazil soon as his fandom goes on a stupid-fest that will make even ARMYs look good in comparison.  Get your riot prep done and your food and water stockpiles ready while you can.

hi this is the first time i’m answering one of these 🙂 a bit tired but overall pretty good 🙂 as usual i’ve been playing final fantasy xiv and trying to do the daily stuff because i want cute items. i really like the ost too, idk if you’d like it but it’s nice, i think it also has to do with how i connect it to my feelings towards the story. anyway! i’ve been also going to therapy these past months, and i really feel it working! i have less breakdowns and feel more in control with my emotions. sometimes i slip up but that’s part of the process, right? for a long time i had thought i was broken without repair and destined to a life full of misery, so it’s also kind of weird to be so… at peace. i guess this is all, i hope you and your cat are doing well too 🙂

We are – thanks for reading!

Question 2: By ticking this box, you consent to Kpopalypse using your data for the purposes of being a cunt who makes people tick boxes for no reason

Most readers were happy to consent to their data being used.  As for the rest of you, I’m not sure why you filled out the survey if you didn’t want me to have your survey data, but I guess I now have it anyway, so whatever.

Question 3: Important demographic question – your age?

Most readers of Kpopalypse.com are in their 20s.  Nobody who did the survey was under 13 which is a great relief, it’s probably a good idea for the kids to stay in school and not read stuff from problematic k-pop writers.  Quite a few of you were old fucks who are even older than me, I wasn’t sure that this was even possible, but I look forward to getting even older and annoying everyone even more, I am jealous of you.

Question 4: How do you feel about 2022 song quality so far this year?

Song quality assessment by readers could best be summarised by “it’s not great but hey it’s better than 2021”.

Question 5: Please rate the following by gayness levels.  If this question is too gay for you, you can skip it.

Holland was definitely the ‘most gay’ by a wide margin, with N.O.M, Chuu, and the highly LGBT-represented Kpopalypse readership also performing well.  N.O.M also managed to edge out Holland for ‘least straight’.  Shindong was the ‘most straight’, even more so than myself, although Apoki actually slightly edged out Shindong for ‘least gay’, and I actually managed to slightly out-gay OnlyOneOf’s “true queer stories, we promise” fanservice (127 votes to 129).

Question 6: On the last show of Loona’s world tour, how many members will make it to the end of the performance?

I know the Europe leg of this is done but I’m not sure if this tour as a whole is still going or not.  We hope not, for the member’s physical and mental health!  I made the upper limit for voting ten members, not eleven or twelve because let’s not be unrealistic now.

Question 7: Which Loona member (besides Chuu, obviously) will be the last girl standing/in the best health at the end of their tour?

According to readers, Heejin was the most durable member, with Choerry and Haseul tied for the most fragile.  Let’s hope they all get some rest soon, but they probably won’t.

Question 8: Which one of the following is LEAST likely to occur in 2022?

Speaking of which, readers agreed with me that Loona getting some rest wasn’t very likely, even less likely than a lot of other important unlikely events that probably should happen in a fair and just world.

Question 9: Should Kpopalypse post comments on r/kpopfap?

More readers seem to want this than not.  I’m not sure if it will happen however, partly due to time constraints (I don’t have much time to play with Reddit in general) and partly because I’m not sure how much I should participate in a community where my own posts are banned by default (due to r/kpopfap’s weirdly specific content rules), but your support is noted!

Question 10: Who is the most effective Kpopalypse TikTok account troll?

Those brave enough to follow the unofficial (but still very good and funny) Kpopalypse Tiktok account are still searching for Gfriending’s #1 organic hit.

Question 11: The Queen died, do you give a fuck

Long live the queen!

Question 12: Why does Asian Junkie recycle the same header images all the time, but only when an artist is under controversy?

Although the results were contentious, more Kpopalypse readers picked environmental concern as the most likely driver behind Asian Junkie’s constant recycling of the same header images for artists under controversy.  As a Dreamcatcher fan, this conclusion makes sense – be sure to buy some Dreamcatcher NFTs in his honour!

Question 13: Put your nomination for the 2023 Kpopalypse “no reason” sidebar girl here, if you have one.  This question is optional.

Thanks for your suggestions!  Expect the new “no reason” sidebar girl fondly!

Question 14: Which one of the below are actually not real but a Kpopalypse sockpuppet?  Tick all that apply.

Many readers suggested that I might be posting my own content to 4chan, but 4chan is banned in Australia, so I couldn’t post my content there (or anything else) even if I could be bothered taking the ten seconds to work out how.  My cat, and Tiktok commenter Gfriending were the other most popular contenders.  Long-time reader and gaming correspondent EvaUnit02 got the least amount of suspicion of being a sockpuppet, probably due to my shithouse performance at computer games on the rare occasions when I’ve livestreamed them making it seem unlikely that I would be much of a gamer, which is a fair assumption.  Anti Kpop Fangirl’s appearance near the top of the list was interesting and surprising given that back in the day when that site was active and I was posting to it, people confused myself and him extremely often!  

Question 15: What type of titties do you want to see on kpopalypse.com, tick all that apply

With “all titties” as the most popular choice” and “no titties” as the least popular, it’s very clear what readers want.  Expect more boob-obsessed posts at Kpopalypse.com in your future!

Question 16: Please acknowledge the cat video

Thank you for acknowledging the cat video!  I didn’t have any other interactive or media content in this survey, just for a change to see how it went.  Feedback was definitely that you missed that stuff, so the next survey will have more things to look at!

Question 17: Are you actually a k-pop fan or what

I know that some of my readers don’t really care about k-pop at all but just read anyway because of the writing, but I was curious just how large a segment of the readers this was.  As it turns out most of you are k-pop fans, at least to some degree!

Question 18: Is Seulgi a socks on or socks off person in bed?

One of the survey’s most controversial and divisive questions, ‘socks on’ won by a narrow margin.

Question 19: Aside from reading this site what activities and things do you enjoy, tick all that apply

Conclusive proof that cats on the Internet are popular!  Spare a thought for the poor horses though.  The stark difference between the most and least popular categories here was very interesting, although I really thought “marital arts” might be higher…

Question 20: When having sex with Wonho, are you ideally:

Some readers commented that there wasn’t an option for “switch” but I really think that the “beggars can’t be choosers” option is functionally the same here.  For those of you who say you wouldn’t have sex with Wonho, don’t worry I probably believe you.

Question 21: Does Wonho take steroids?

Another controversial topic, readers were sharply divided over the possibility of Wonho’s steroid use.  Probably only Han Seo Hee knows the answer to this question for sure.

Question 22: How do you feel about k-pop b-sides and non-title tracks?

Kpopalypse readers mainly loved k-pop b-sides, or at least grudgingly tolerated the deluge of shit ones so they could appreciate the occasional gold.

Question 23: What is Chuu planning?

The aegyo assault seemed like the most likely option, but no selection was unpopular.  Perhaps Chuu herself doesn’t know what she’s planning, but chances are it’s not a Loona tour.

Question 24: Please select your favourite JAV from the following recent JAVs of the month

About 75% of readers did not feel themselves sufficiently educated to make a decision among these excellent drama productions.  As for the rest of you, here were your votes, from least popular to most:

6th: August 2022 – Now, I Will Introduce The Most Erotic Recommended Wife – Big Tits Saffle Wife Nene-chan 25 Years Old Who Loves Cock And Cums Deliciously With Anyone’s Sperm – HAWA-283

5th: March 2022 – A Shocking Madonna Exclusive – Explosive Titties, Shocking J-Cup Tits Nina Nishimura, Her Big Titties Are Jiggling And Wiggling In Sweaty, Deep And Rich Sex Scenes – 3 Fucks – JUL-903

4th: June 2022 – Shaking, Bursting K-Cup Tits – Goddess Descent – DOA-020

3rd: July 2022 – Two Days Of Being Raped Between Two Delinquent Brothers – CAWD-401

2nd: May 2022 – The Big Tits On This Career Advisor Are Way Too Lewd And She Fucks Job Hunters 2 – BDSR-477

WINNER: April 2022 – My Son’s Detestable Classmate Who Was Bullying My Son Made Me Cum So Good That I Thought I Would Die From Creampie Sex – HZGD-216

Thanks to all those who voted!  Oh and JAV of the month for September 2022 is ROYD-103, sorry I forgot to mention that in the last QRIMOLE. 

Question 25: Should you dress your cat for Halloween?

You can always count on Kpopalypse.com to tackle the most important issues.  Here Kpopalypse readers weigh in on the controversial topic of dressing your cat, and decide that this is in fact mostly okay.

Question 26: How many kpop idols do you fantasize about daily?

Despite the stereotype of Kpopalypse readers as a bunch of incessantly fapping objectifiers, nearly 40% of all readers did not fantasise about idols daily.  However perhaps this was compensated for by the roughly six percent of readers who fantasised about every idol at once.

Question 27: How many boxes of girl scout cookies does BangPD buy each year?

HYBE CEO Bang Shi-Hyuk knows that you just can’t have enough girl scout cookies.  Baked at his place only, come get some.

Question 28: Thank you for doing this survey!  If you have any feedback for Kpopalypse please leave it here.  This question is optional.

Some selected feedback, and my responses:

tzuyu with fruit on her head

Thanks for this – this has been used as the header image!

One thing I will say is that as an American I appreciate your occasional political commentary, especially because it doesn’t map precisely onto American cliched political thinking (your comments on free speech, for example). I mean to go back and find your links to sources on the Ukraine war, occasionally I check in with a Twitter user (@RALee85 if you’re curious) who seems to do a relatively good and thorough compilation of recent events with an emphasis on military infrastructure and material, but Twitter is awful and I don’t like to log in.

Meanwhile (since I’m still bored at the vet) the OnlyOneOf stuff actually makes me very uncomfortable, not because it’s “queerbaiting” but because I have no idea how much of this the performers actually signed up for; from everything you’ve said about the industry I have to assume they have little to no power, and I imagine having to quasi-make out with your coworker on a regular basis is awkward enough even if you fully signed up for it. The way 8D handled Love’s departure (firing?) left the impression of a company even more dependent on obfuscation and secrecy than is the norm for Kpop, which is saying something, and the guys act cheerful enough in videos but at least I’ve been following Kpop long enough to know that doesn’t mean much. Someone invoked the Stellar milk-drinking scene and that sounds right to me, in that’ll it’s a presentation of more sexual imagery that would be enjoyable if you could believe the performers were enjoying presenting it (e.g., NOM, or Wonho’s Thirstagrams, maybe even Hyuna at this point) but become a lot less so if the performers aren’t on board. Also KB is probably even more of a steroid than Wonho is at this point but his solo song was excellent, which has nothing to do with anything, except that I’m still following this group and feeling conflicted about it. Anyway, thank you for your time, may all three of you enjoy rude good health.

Thanks for your feedback!  Who knows about OnlyOneOf but it’s generally safe to assume that idols generally have nine tenths of zero say in anything.

1) I always enjoy the lengthier posts where you use your knowledge of music and experience in the industry to shed light on kpop. (2) I also look forward to your end of year round ups. (3) When is the next Australian Sana conversation? (4) Feedback not just for you but for the industry in general: Mina looked lovely in Talk That Talk. More idols in lingerie please!

Myself and AustrainaSana are both very busy (hence why the plan of monthly podcasts has fallen by the wayside, it’s a nice idea and we’d like to but with our schedules there’s just no way) but I’m hoping that I can do another podcast with her around the end of the year.  We’ll see what happens!

I actually think of the Chuu assassination options poison would be most likely (hard to trace, and generally poisoning is a female-oriented murder technique over explosives which are male-oriented,) but I voted Kill Bill-style just bc I want to remind people that Brown Eyed Girls’ “Kill Bill” exists and they look great in it and by extension Nine Muses’ “Gun” also exists and they also look great in it.

I feel like these are relevant reminders.

In the question asking which titties I would like to see on your website, I selected male and big. I want to be clear that my choice is titties which are both male AND big, NOT one or the other. An important distinction.

Noted.

This survey is surprisingly short. Also it took me time to decide which JAV should I choose because some of them do have nice looking tits

Yes I agree this is difficult, it’s made a bit awkward by the fact that sometimes the boobs on the front covers of JAV titles are quite severely and annoyingly photoshopped.  (DOA-020 is a good example of this, Ruka Inaba is busty but she’s not THAT busty)

Ur gay as hell btw

ikr

Article quality has been steadily good for a long time now, so keep it up, cunt.

Thanks!

I’ve been reading your blog since at least October 2016 (that’s when I signed up for e-mail updates at least) but I think this is the first time I’ve filled out this survey. Thank you for your weekly round-ups, they make my Monday morning commutes more entertaining. I look forward to your year-end round-ups and your music education posts, too. Cunt.

Thank you for reading!

I have no idea the Kpopalypse lore had extended to tiktok and I’m sorry to hear the news. Kpoppers on tiktok are the stupidest people ever man, they’ve been harassing a friend nonstop because she has an indie jpop idol project and these retards think you can’t be an idol if you’re not of pure Korean ancestry and haven’t been starved by an agency for 6+ years. Plus she doesn’t even like kpop. I hate them.

Note that the Kpopalyspe Tiktok isn’t official, but a project of reader Lissa who takes captures from roundup and other content to share over there.  I agree that Tiktok k-poppers are even worse than the ones on Twitter, but I like my presence over there courtesy of Lissa as a form of revenge.

this was fun, thanks Kpopalpyse! Also your Dahyun commentary on the last bias list was top tier, she truly is a UFO in Kpop and we love her for it

Thanks!

Thank you for all the music theory articles. I’ve always wanted to understand music, but most theory stuff references boring ass music that’s not fast or repetitive enough for my ADHD brain to give a shit about. I’m glad you share your knowledge even when you’re a cunt about it. Honestly I’m just glad you’re still blogging and do the roundups every week.

Thank you!  More music theory posts will be forthcoming!

I just want to say thank you for still being at least regularly active and entertaining. I still remember visiting your blog when it still has 3 entries, can’t believe I’m still here after all the time I don’t give a fck about kpop the past 4 years.
Currently envying you for the Queen’s death public holiday. Not sure if I’m hoping to still be reading your blog in another 5 years or shall I just move on… Anyway,
Can you do some cats video review on top of your japanese drama ones? Thanks mate

Cat video reviews is a good idea.  Thanks for sticking with me! Although I don’t give a shit about the British royal family, I’m not voting for Australia to become a republic anytime soon because getting a holiday because the Queen died was pretty sweet.

Less having to actually be good at quickly hitting keys in future Try Not To Have Gay Sex with Yves iterations please, I am bad at video games that require quick reactions

This is noted.  I added a “cheat mode” to the most recent game in the series to help people with low dexterity get through the Realm Of Mega Yves.  Play the latest version of the game and search the Blockberry basement carefully to activate it.

make roundup less of a blue screen experience on mobile, how i am meant to give the squealing masses on tiktop.app what they want when i can’t even play a video on it before your website reloads on me

This is due to the large quantity of videos, the only way to fix it is by having less of them.  As a result I’ve been making an effort to be a little more selective and having less stuff in there nobody gives a shit about, while still focusing on very good/bad nugu stuff as well as the bigger releases.  I’ll continue to try and drill it down a bit, mainly because roundup takes a while to write and if I can make the experience short for myself that’s obviously good.

The guy in GRCH-290 kinda looks like ex-Stray Kids’s Woojin in the cover (though not so much in the actual movie), in case this is relevant to anyone’s interests

Noted, readers who are interested please take a look, there’ll be questions in the next exam.

What the fuck is this survey

A valid question tbh

TV drama selection is too biased. Speaking of TV dramas, the other day I saw an interview where a woman working in the JAV industry said that actresses get paid less for lesbian videos which is kind of bullshit but also could mean that if an actress has a lot of lesbian videos, she might not be in it only for the money. This fact has brought me much enjoyment, as knowing that the actresses are eating poon on camera with genuine delight is fucking hot.

Of course my selection is biased, it always will be, because it’s my favourites.  Interesting about the lesbian videos, explains why there aren’t that many of them compared to western porn where lesbian videos are everywhere.

This survey changed my life. Please do more of them.

Thanks!  There is a new big survey every six months, and smaller surveys in between (end of year survey in December, and objectification survey in June).

I already asked this and you didn’t answer, so maybe that was an answer in itself, in which case please ignore this! But since sometimes you talk about ways a song would be better, or parts that actively decrease the quality of a song, I was wondering if you would maybe do remixes or something to show what it would sound like if you applied these changes. I know next to nothing about the actual skills required to do this and more imporotantly if that’s something you know how to do or have any interest in doing, but it would be fun to hear your improved versions of songs!
Anyway, apart from that I just always enjoy your blog so much, it’s been a core part of my kpop experience for years and years at this point, so thank you and keep up the good work!

I’d love to do this but time constraints completely prevent it.  Although I have on occasion made “improved” edits of songs, like this one:

If readers want to try and have a go at remixes, using my feedback as the basis, that might be a fun project for some of them so feel free! 

Keep writing, I don’t even remember to check kpop reddit daily nor weekly anymore so your posts keeps me very well entertained kpop wise 😀 Greetings from Finland

If my existence stops just one person from reading k-pop Reddit, it was all worthwhile.

its kind of crazy how many years I’ve been visiting this site. I remember stumbling across it when i was 12 and a butthurt middle school kpop stan. I am now 23 going on 24, feel jaded about kpop, and also a registered nurse now. so much has changed but i still come here to see you be a cunt, it simply never gets old for me.

Thanks for sticking with me!

i・€・m wine drunk right now but just so you know i like seeing your reviews on tik tok because of all the hate comments. there are not enough haters in kpop. everyone is expected to have a positive opinion of every song that comes out, but hating things is more funny. someone said that yeeun sounds like if ET learned how to sing and it made me have hope in the universe again. i am a true hater at heart, it is my calling. if i had to give you any feedback i would say you should be more of a hater.

also i cooked some amazing green beans today. i took about three pounds of them, prepped them by washing and cutting off the ends, and then i blanched them in boiling water for about 8 minutes. after that i took them out and, in a wok, i heated up some canola oil to near smoke point. i added in some red chili flakes so they could infuse in the oil, and then a cup of minced garlic. (i・€・m serious about adding a cup, it makes them delicious). i fried the garlic for about 30 seconds on high heat, and then i added my green beans in. after that, i swirled shaoxing wine around the sides of the wok, and added a small amount of soy sauce and a large amount of oyster sauce. listen. it・€・s very important you are moving the beans around a lot because this should be done at high heat so you can get the wok hei. if you don・€・t rapidly move them around, the sauce will start burning, which is gross and a mess. also you need a massive wok to cook 3 pounds of beans at once. if you don・€・t have a giant one, you can scale down the recipe or do it in batches. after you add the sauces, add about a cup of water to the beans and mix thoroughly. this is to ensure that the sauce thoroughly coats the beans. now add a cornstarch slurry (this is just cornstarch and water mixed together) slowly to the wok, to thicken it. you have to be careful not to use too much- the sauce should be thick like a glaze but thin enough that it can pool at the bottom of the wok. sautテゥ this for a few minutes until the sauce thickens enough (if it gets too thick add more water) and taste test a bean to make sure it takes okay. and after that you・€・re done! serves 15 or 1 if they・€・re very determined.

That weird text bug again, previous surveys haven’t had this problem, I’m not sure what’s up.  Sorry, readers.

Thanks for the cooking tips!

I・€・ve been meaning to tell you for a while that the qirmoly or however it・€・s spelled used to have the question with a darker shade background now it・€・s all the same so when scrolling and trying to see which questions interest me they all blend together couldn・€・t being the darker background back or like do something else to differentiate between the questions and answers like different font or something also please make sure that your cat who I can・€・t spell her name my barrage of kisses in her belly and face

This is hard-coded into the theme I think, but I will check and make sure, if I can change it to get more contrast I will.

You should make an objectifying survey for you and you only things like best toe and best ass cheek you know ?

Will never happen.  Compiling the result takes forever just with the few categories that are already there.  If you pay me $5000 per post I will consider it.

i love you kpopalypse

I love you too, thanks for reading!

One thought on “The RESULTS of the Kpopalypse 2022 survey of caonima action!

  1. Pingback: Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 24/10/2022 | KPOPALYPSE

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