Remember when k-pop group Honey Popcorn debuted and there was all this talk about how the members of the group had “quit doing dramas to enter the k-pop industry”? Well clearly nothing could have been further from the truth, as Honey Popcorn is on a big-ass SM-style hiatus (i.e complete radio silence about status for years with no updates), but the group’s two original members have been pumping out drama appearances on a regular basis and elevating their drama profile continuously! Let’s take a look at more Honey Popcorn drama reviews!
If you’re new to the Honey Popcorn drama review series, you may with to visit the following posts, which have more background information plus reviews of earlier drama appearances.
Let’s now get started with the drama reviews! Remember that all participants in these dramas are adults (at the time of writing Yua is 29, Moko is 31) and all activities depicted are 100% mutually consenting, no matter how much their exceptional acting talents gained through years of drama experience may sometimes convince you otherwise! Remember also that if you’re interested in acquiring these dramas they can be obtained through r18.com where all good drama content is sold (although note that r18.com doesn’t feature any titles after June this year at the time of writing due to some conservative porn witch-hunt going on in Japan right now, so you may have to go to “other sources” for newer content).
The Top Sex Cosplayer In Japan – SSNI-963
Plot synopsis: After having not forgiven Yoyomi for yet another failure to usurp Apink in the Kpopalypse most fappable list, Yua Mikami takes revenge by breaking into Yoyomi’s house and stealing all her most expensive cosplay items in preparation for the eventual return of Honey Popcorn. However it’s only when she gets back home that Yua realises all the clothes are the wrong size. It’s costume changes and garment adjustments aplenty as Yua rushes to meet the comeback deadline!
Dramatic impact: if you’re a dedicated enough weeb to even know what characters these cosplays are supposed to be of, Kpopalypse salutes you
Kpopalypse drama rating: 6.5/10 incorrectly held Shure Super 55s
During Her Business Trip, To Her Surprise, She Was Booked Into The Same Hotel Room With Her Asshole Boss (Whom She Hates With A Passion)… So He Banged Her With Relentless Piston Pounding Thrusts – SSNI-989
Plot synopsis: “Look, how hard would it be to just have Blackpink say “Miyour’s” instead of “Celine” in that new song?”, asks Yua Mikami. Teddy furrows his brow. “Celine gave us a lot of money for that shout-out, it paid for the entire comeback costs just on its own, if you want similar treatment you’re going to have to come up with at least that amount of funds, or find some other way to make it worth our while.” Yua sighs. “I don’t know why I agreed to this business meeting, you YG people are so hard to work with.” Will Yua and the YG team come to an understanding?
Dramatic impact: this dramatic tour de force is nearly gambling and prostitution free
Kpopalypse drama rating: 8/10 shout-outs to corporations in Blackpink post-first-chorus raps
Yua Mikami Will Stimulate Your Five Senses In A Soothing, Stroking, Masturbatory Luxury Support Role – 6 Soothing Erection Situations Of Fully Satisfying Eros Company Excitement To Blow Your Mind – SSIS-013
Plot synopsis: Yua Mikami jacks off a bunch of guys.
Dramatic impact: it’s actually kind of boring
Kpopalypse drama rating: 4/10 my last half a dozen girlfriends did it better
Do You Want Me To Tease You? You Do, Don’t You? – SSIS-037
Plot synopsis: There’s definitely a lot more “pleasing” than “teasing” here as Yua Mikami catches up with friends and industry pals in exotic locales such as a library, a subway, and a public toilet. Fortunately the toilet cubicle is quite small so there’s no chance of Yoochun appearing and ruining the mood… or is there?
Dramatic impact: it’s all fun and games until the bathroom renovators arrive
Kpopalypse drama rating: 5/10 7 year slave contracts with 3 year extensions that were already agreed to during the initial signing up process
Ultimate Body, Ultimate Sex – Extreme Ejaculation Special That Will Fulfill All Of Your Dreams – SSIS-062
Plot synopsis: “Wow, you can shoot it really far!” SinB exlcaimed as Umji fired an arrow from her standing position, hitting the archery target in the bullseye once again. Umji nods confidently. “I’ve been practising hard, I really need to make sure I beat everyone this year at Idol Star Athletic Chamionships.” Will Umji have what it takes to beat top favourite “eagle-eye” Dahyun and take home the gold for Viviz?
Dramatic impact: if you like to see things shooting at other things, this one’s for you
Kpopalypse drama rating: 6/10 clandestine glares from Itzy members
The Blowjob Starts With A Kiss, Then Ball-Licking, Then Another Blowjob, And Finally Every Drop Of Cum Sucked Dry, Followed By Another Semen-Savoring Kiss – My Very Own Blowjob Maid – SSIS-088
Plot synopsis: “It sure feels great to get my hands on this sack”, says Yua, as she opens a parcel on her lounge room floor with one hand, while speed-dialing Moko Sakura in the other. “IU’s slime delivery finally arrived! Do you want to come and take a look, Moko?” she asks. “Sorry Yua, I’m doing my hair today” Moko replies. Yua senses something is wrong, she knows Moko was really looking forward to the slime delivery. Will Yua get to the bottom of Moko’s hesitation?
Dramatic impact: the maid cosplay is on point, which is just as well because Eunhyuk is still sick and requires lots of looking after
Kpopalypse drama rating: 7/10 hastily deleted Instagram posts
From The Past To The Future: Now, Let’s Lay It All Bare… The Ultimate Erotic Memorial, 5 Full Fucks – SSIS-116
Plot synopsis: The action starts with Yua Mikami answering an interview direct-to-camera, as she talks about her future goals. “Of course Honey Popcorn haven’t disbanded, we’re just taking a break to pursue other things.” When pressed further about a comeback date, Yua becomes frustrated. “Look, I upload regular dance covers, isn’t that enough for you people? This interview is over, I’m off to do more drama appearances, where my hard work is actually respected.” Yua deattaches her clip-on mic and walks off, muttering something under her breath about “fucking k-pop fans”, with the interviewers in hot pursuit.
Dramatic impact: plenty of angst here as Yua deals with the supporting cast in classic Frank Sinatra style
Kpopalypse drama rating: 6/10 disbandment statements from ex-members which are then retracted the next day
Gorgeous Lewd Talk – Yua Mikami Dream Voice – SSIS-144
Plot synopsis: “I don’t know why I’m doing this video. Isn’t ASMR kind of bullshit? Can’t you get the same effect from having someone tickle your ear or something?” The director sighs. “Some people don’t have a person to do that for them, Yua. This is why you have a job, to cater to lonely people who don’t have others who can fulfill their needs.” Yua groans. “Can’t they just get over themselves? I mean I get catering to lonely old men, I’ve been obviously doing that for a while now, but you’re asking me to lick a microphone here. Have you ever done that? Do you understand how bad that tastes? I’d rather lick Shindong’s sweaty nutsack, honestly. At least give me some air freshener or something.” Will Yua be able to repress her nausea long enough to get through the shoot?
Dramatic impact: all the fun of getting your ears syringed at the doctor, but with only 30% of the fluid
Kpopalypse drama rating: 7/10 microphones that nobody sprayed Glen20 into during band changeover
Getting A Lick-down From Step-dad – 3 Full Days Of Indecency While The Husband Is Away – SSIS-181
Plot synopsis: Yua Mikami attends a private Honey Popcorn fanmeet, only to be horrified by the presence of so many uncle fans. “We’re pure and angelic, not like other slutty k-pop bitches, what are all these creeps doing here, some of them are at least six months older than me” she mutters to herself as she prepares to deliver a speech on the virtues of saving oneself for marriage.
Dramatic impact: lots of respect coming Yua’s way in this mature yet classy-sexy drama
Kpopalypse drama rating: 6.5/10 uncle fans standing in line at NewJeans album signings
You’re At A Whore House, And One Of Japan’s Top Pornstars Appears Right In Front Of You! Do You Fuck Her Or Fuck Off? – SSIS-211
Plot synopsis: Yua is driven by limo from one private fanmeet to the next, getting to know her fans better. Everything goes as expected until one fan pulls out a “Bibidi Babidi Boo” CD and asks Yua to sign it. Grabbing a pen, Yua draws X’s over the eyes of ex-member Miko Matsuda and then storms out of the room without saying another word, ruining the CD’s value on the lucrative Honey Popcorn second-hand CD market. Will Yua be able to stop the impending lawsuit from this furious fan?
Dramatic impact: not Yua’s best film simply because nobody really wants to see annoying clingy fans interact with idols this much
Kpopalypse drama rating: 5/10 AV careers that mysteriously disappeared after Honey Popcorn membership
Forbidden Teacher Love – SSIS-241
Plot synopsis: Yua stars as a teacher trying to save boys’ education in Japan by abolishing compulsory sportball. Concerned parents then complain about the lack of health among the faculty, so to compensate for the removal of physical workouts, Yua then helps the boys in her class individually with one-on-one stretching and cardio sessions. Will her new strategy pay off?
Dramatic impact: the action really starts to heat up once Yua finds a replacement for the pole vault
Kpopalypse drama rating: 7/10 school toilet sex sessions that Yua definitely wouldn’t do these days unless she was paid
Yua Mikami’s Devilish 200 Minutes of All-Round Nipple Licking, Teasing and Kneading – SSIS-270
Plot synopsis: Encouraged by Kpopalypse’s post on nipple slips in k-pop, Yua goes on a mission to design the ultimate durable stage wear suitable for only the most pure and innocent girl groups. Wanting to put her garments through maximum stress to ensure highest quality, Yua hires both Wonho and Shindong to wear prototype designs, however supply chain shortages make it difficult to secure the right quantities of fabric for testing. Can Yua use her business acumen to resolve this issue?
Dramatic impact: all those people who found my website initially from that nipple slip post should enjoy this one
Kpopalypse drama rating: 7/10 guitar models arriving in Australia three years after they’ve been obsoleted everywhere else in the world
Drool, The Effects Of A Few Sips, Her Face During Sex, And Peeing Released All At Once. Yua Mikami Flies Indecently – SSIS-287
Plot synopsis: Concerned after a drama video shoot, Yua Mikami rushes to her laptop. “Isn’t squirting just peeing?” she anxiously types onto Kpopalypse’s Retrospring page. A few hours later a reply comes with a helpful link explaining all the medical facts about this hotly-debated phenomenon. Yua reads with interest, grateful for the assistance in helping her understand her own body, but also wondering why she didn’t just Google this information directly instead of asking some crusty old bald guy who lives thousands of miles away and isn’t even a woman or a medical professional.
Dramatic impact: probably the driest video with “peeing” in the title that I’ve ever seen
Kpopalypse drama rating: 4/10 guest appearances by that one old man who is in every single “old man” themed JAV ever
Yua Mikami’s Ecstasy Lotion Special, Offering The Best-ever Slick Servicing To Work Cumloads Out – SSIS-313
Plot synopsis: Yua Mikami is in her backyard, blowing up some inflatable plastic, when nosy neighbour Hyomin is alerted by the noise from the inflation machine and looks over her back fence. “Yua, is that an inflatable pool? You must be kidding!” Yua looks up at Hyomin and replies “yes it’s an inflatable pool, how is this your business”. Hyomin laughs. “I know what you’re up to, you’re creating a practice arena so you can beat me at the next jelly wrestling tournament, but you and I both know that it’ll never happen. Why don’t you just give up and go for a swim?” Hyomin chuckles wanders back into her house, while Yua’s face turns red – does Yua have what it takes to dethrone the underground jelly wrestling arena champion?
Dramatic impact: there’s enough slimy fluid here for at least half a dozen IU comebacks
Kpopalypse drama rating: 8/10 non-OH&S compliant stage surfaces
Ultimate Lover Swap – Ideal Sex-Only Relationship That Is Not Disturbed By Work Or Family – SSIS-338
Plot synopsis: “I love cheating, it’s so much fun” says Yua as she effortlessly headshots everyone in the arena once again. Suddenly, Yua’s gaming livestream is interrupted by a black screen with a message stating that she has violated the Terms Of Service and her account has been banned. “Fucking bullshit!” Yua screams as she throws down her headset. “How am I supposed to become a world famous game streamer now?”
Dramatic impact: it s tough for streamers out there, we can all relate to Yua’s struggles
Kpopalypse drama rating: 7/10 hot-drops that your teammates insist on that get you killed as soon as you land
“What!? We’re Gonna Fuck Here?” Sticking Close To Yua Mikami For A Whole Month, Taking Advantage Any Time There’s A Chance For A Quick Fuck! Unprecedented Hidden Camera AV Primetime Challenge – SSIS-365
Plot synopsis: “Quick, you should have time to make it hard and wet before anybody notices!” Yua whispers to the stage hand, as he rolls out a super-slick slippery coating onto the VIP meet and greet stage, right before Apink’s appearance. Yua smiles as the surface is flattened down in front of the microphones. “Once these bitches walk out on that stage surface there’s no way they’re not going to trip, here’s hoping that one of them has a fall and then Kpopalypse will feel guilty about putting them in his most fappable list for 2022 and will have to give me top placing instead!” Yua waits patiently for Apink’s appearance, but could she be underestimating Apink’s dexterity, or overestimating Kpopalypse’s morals?
Dramatic impact: you’ll never listen to that “let the bodies hit the floor” song quite the same way again
Kpopalypse drama rating: 6/10 concerts that went ahead with unsafe staging anyway despite massive fan protests
Let’s Do It At A Men’s Massage Parlor – SSIS-392
Plot synopsis: “It’s been difficult for me ever since COVID hit, I’ve only been able to do my video appearances with one guy at a time. Not only is it boring, this is really affecting my income, can’t we do anything about it, boss?” Shinsadong Tiger sits and thinks for a while. “Well, we could up your pay if you were willing to do something more extreme for the camera, something you’ve never done before. How would you feel about being the love interest in an NCT video?” Yua grimaces. “Eww, I’m not a child predator. Those guys are at least six months younger than me. Can’t I just get molested on a train by middle-aged businessmen like in the old days?” Will S. Tiger be able to come up with the right video concept to fit Yua’s demands?
Dramatic impact: Yua is visibly bored here and unfortunately so was I
Kpopalypse drama rating: 4/10 #FreeYuaMikami hashtags
My first experience is Yua Mikami. From the day I lost my virginity, I was devoted to sex. – SSIS-419
Plot synopsis: “You know it’s my first time, right? I hope it doesn’t bleed too much down there.”, says Yua. “Don’t worry, with my guidance you’ll be fine, just breathe deep and try to relax.” Under the watchful eye of Siwon the master veterinarian, Yua precisely cuts an incision in the cat under sedation in front of her, and performs the desexing operation. “You did good for a first time, Yua” says Siwon as he applies the stitches afterward. Yua smiles, feeling her confidence increasing, but will she be able to handle the pressure of working on celebrity pets?
Dramatic impact: if the adorable pussy doesn’t win your heart here, the two cute puppies certainly might
Kpopalypse drama rating: 7/10 Kpopalypse cat butt surgeries
Cohabitation love story – SSIS-448
Plot synopsis: Yua goes to a fanmeet for her favourite Enhypen member, only for images of their interactions to circulate on social media, branding her as a creepy noona fan out to endanger the boys and suck them into the seedy world of adult entertainment. How can she convince the k-pop onlineosphere that her love for Enhypen is pure and innocent?
Dramatic impact: the social media struggles are real, we can all relate
Kpopalypse drama rating: 6.5/10 Twitter bots that auto-block users by their fandom affiliation
Yua Mikami – 10 changes – extreme masturbation support – SSIS-477
Plot synopsis: Yua Mikami jacks off a bunch of guys, again
Dramatic impact: still boring tbh
Kpopalypse drama rating: 4/10 seriously I thought her technique would be better than this, be careful with those fingernails please
My Sister-In-Law Showed Up Out Of Nowhere Wearing A Miniskirt Without Panties. She Stayed At Our House For Three Days And Seduced Me – This Sexy Slut In Uniform Made Me Give Her a Creampie, Too – CAWD-153
Plot synopsis: Moko waits until Yua is out of the room and then whispers to Shinsadong Tiger “I’m tired of being thought of as ‘the other Honey Popcorn girl’, are you going to give me some more screen time or what? You know my talents are at least as good as hers.” S. Tiger sighs. “It’s not my place to get involved in whatever conflict you two have got going, but Yua is the bigger celebrity. I can’t help that the public want to see more of her.” Moko frowns. “This is fucking bullshit. You’d better do something about it, because if you don’t, I will! I know what goes on inside your bangbus, you know, plus I know some good writers!” What plans does Moko have in store to boost her profile?
Dramatic impact: plenty of excitement and inter-personal drama as Moko does her best to ascend to the status of Honey Popcorn’s ‘it-girl’
Kpopalypse drama rating: 9/10 ‘fictional’ secrets inside k-pop adult fiction novels
Working Overtime With My Legs Open… Bred By My Boss… – CAWD-164
Plot synopsis: “Do we have to do it this way? It feels uncomfortable, isn’t it against the rules?” Moko asks her boss. “No, it’s definitely fine. Because your underwear is a work expense, you can claim this against your income on your tax return, this is totally legal. I’ll put you in touch with our accountant Umji, she’ll be able to address your concerns.” Moko nods in understanding, but wonders to herself – will she also have to declare her thousands of dollars in stolen Dreamcatcher NFTs as income?
Dramatic impact: the action starts slow but heats up when Asian Junkie appears and demands his crypto wallet keys back
Kpopalypse drama rating: 6/10 statements by Etherium about moving to proof of stake
My Neighbor Is A Dirty Old Man Who Lives In A Stinky, Smelly Apartment, And Now This Girl In A School Uniform Is Getting Pumped Full Of 46 Straight Creampie Cum Shots And Impregnated Like A Domesticated Bitch, And Finally… – CAWD-178
Plot synopsis: Moko Sakura leads a documentary team on a trip into the run-down dwellings of some of k-pop’s dirtiest uncle fans. Although initially repulsed by the squalor and festering stench, proceedings reach a new low when Moko visits an r/kpop moderator’s apartment. While still at the front door, her nose picks up the seeping odour of dried semen and despair emanating through the door cracks. “I’m not sure if I can go on, this is already unhygienic and too disgusting and we’re not even in there yet”, Moko addresses to the camera. Suddenly the door flies open and a man shouts “Hi, are you from Busters? Can I take a photo with you?” – Moko screams in horror, and she plus her camera crew immediately disengage and sprint down the stairs and across the apartment courtyard. Suddenly Moko starts coughing. The camera crewman hears her struggling and looks back. “Come on Moko, the van is just around the corner!” Will Moko be overcome by the repulsive fumes or will she escape in time?
Dramatic impact: Moko’s bravery is unparalleled in this rare footage of r/kpop moderators in action, but the filth is almost too much to bear even for hardened viewers
Kpopalypse drama rating: 7/10 reposts on r/kpop from revenge-porn-spreading k-pop websites that their moderators have no problem with
I Spent Three Whole Days When My Cruel Domineering Boss Was Out Of Town Getting Revenge By Fucking His Young Wife Out Of Her Mind – CAWD-188
Plot synopsis: “I hope that bitch doesn’t catch us”, whispers Yua to BoA. “Moko always gets shitty when I do dance practice without her.” “Maybe she just wants to be as good as you, Yua”, BoA replies. Yua shakes her head. “No, that’s not it… she’s already better than me. I just don’t think she trusts me to be able to keep up. She needs to show me a little more respect as the leader of this group and stop being so bitchy.” BoA sighs. “Try not to think about it, you don’t want to break the group up with these petty tensions. Maybe some drugs would calm you down…” BoA reaches into her handbag. It’s true that the group has been becoming tense lately, but does BoA really have the right solution?
Dramatic impact: so dull that I just copy-pasted all the text in this review from a previous episode
Kpopalypse drama rating: 4/10 wishy-washy SM Entertainment press releases
Resigned To Suck Off Her Awful Boss For Her Whole Work Trip… An Office Girl’s Cruel Fate – CAWD-202
Plot synopsis: “Boss, I don’t want to lick that, it’s filthy! Did you even wash it first?” Moko Sakura squeals. The director sighs. “Hey, you said you wanted to be as successful as Yua Mikami, that means you have to get good at ASMR, it’s all the rage with the kids these days – now put that tongue on the microphone and lick it like you mean it!” “No, I’m not doing it! Get someone in to clean this thing or I’m not going anywhere near it!” Moko huffs. Will Moko be able to bargain reasonable working conditions from her boss, or will he just hire someone else willing to fulfill his perverted ASMR desires?
Dramatic impact: audiophiles are well catered for in this drama, even if the microphone use still isn’t technically correct
Kpopalypse drama rating: 8/10 unwashed pop shields
A Fallen Angel In White Fucked And Licked By A Disgusting Hospital Director With Too Much Saliva – CAWD-214
Plot synopsis: Moko Sakura hears that k-pop media mogul Johnny Noh is suffering from illness, so she visits him in hospital, however she didn’t anticipate the presence of his friend, armed with his trusty camera. The friend extends his hand and motions for Moko to sit down. “Hi Moko, I’m Daniel Lee, can you please sit next to Johnny while I take a photo of you both? He’s such a huge fan. I promise I certainly won’t take anything untoward that could be leaked on certain websites or anything.” Moko co-operates and leans in for the photo, but something feels odd about this. What perils await Moko, and who is this Daniel guy anyway?
Dramatic impact: it’s actually pretty gross, srsly
Kpopalypse drama rating: 3/10 k-pop fans actually waking up to themselves and rejecting The Great Satan
Receptionist Gets Bred By Rough Sex During An Oil Massage – Confined And Made To Fuck – CAWD-227
Plot synopsis: “Oh yuck, it’s all oily, I don’t think I can handle this”, Moko grimaces. “You’ll be fine, my mullet needs to have just the right amount of oil to stay in place – just use the comb instead of your fingers when you work the scissors” instructs Taeyong. Preparing Taeyong for the international Mullet awards is hard work, but can Moko help Taeyong rise to the top and beat EXO’s Chen to take out the crown in this prestigious event?
Dramatic impact: it’s well acted but k-pop mullets aren’t really anything you want to look at
Kpopalypse drama rating: 2/10 bright red hair dye bottles
Tailgater – The End Of A Newly Licensed College Girl At The Hands Of A Dangerous Driver By Creampie Sex – CAWD-244
Plot synopsis: This instructional drama piece goes through all the required road safety laws for driving on both Japanese and Korean roads. Several aspects are covered, including correct giving way to speeding minivans carrying girl groups on their way to schedules in wet weather, and how to not get drunk and run over motorcyclists. Also there’s a special section about not getting into vans with dangerous drivers, which the video takes up quite a lot of time on. Kpopalypse applauds this OH&S complaint focus in drama content!
Dramatic impact: while the educational content is high, this comes at the expense of narrative flow
Kpopalypse drama rating: 4/10 excellent Ladies Code pre-accident era mini-albums
A Wife Who Was Made To Repay Her Beloved Husband’s Debts That He Incurred From A Black Market Dealer With Creampies – CAWD-260
Plot synopsis: Saddled with mountains of Honey Popcorn training debt, Moko Sakura is forced to take a second part-time job as a baker to make ends meet. Serving delicious cream pies to customers is arduous work that takes a significant emotional toll, but her baked goods are popular and Moko is determined to pay her debts down. However will sheer determination be enough?
Dramatic impact: an average drama lifted somewhat by a great supporting appearance by Eunjung as Moko’s culinary determination coach
Kpopalypse drama rating: 6/10 failed MBK trademark lawsuits
When Camping By Herself For The First Time, She Gets Fucked By A Camper Who Is A Teaching Freak… – CAWD-277
Plot synopsis: Moko goes camping at the set of IU and Fiestar’s “Sea Of Moonlight” video, as part of her “remember when k-pop was actually good” Korean reminiscence tour. Suddenly a strange man approaches her tent. “Mind if I join you, Moko?” Moko looks up from her campfire to see JYP staring down at her, smiling. “I’m making my annual pilgrimage to this site to recharge my songwriting abilities”, JYP says as he sits down next to Moko and warms his hands by the fire. JYP seems friendly enough, but surely it’s not a coincidence that he’s here – how did he know Moko was camping, and what plans could he have?
Dramatic impact: a psychological horror that’s perhaps a little too real for its own good, you’ll never hear the “JYP whisper” quite the same way again
Kpopalypse drama rating: 3/10 strangely delayed religious cult announcements
My Stepsister’s Nipple Fetish And Intimacy Led Me To Fucking Her Until I Ran Out Of Semen – CAWD-286
Plot synopsis: exactly the same as SSIS-270 above but with Moko as the star, clearly coming for Yua’s crown yet again but will she succeed?
Dramatic impact: Wonho, Shindong and Moko’s nipples all in the same room is a lot to take in and makes up for the fact that this video isn’t about much else
Kpopalypse drama rating: 7/10 secret onstage glares from Moko to Yua during Honey Popcorn stages
Submissive Fuck Teen Moko Sakura Listens to Everything I Say – CAWD-300
Plot synopsis: “I’m over 30 these days, why do I have to lie and say that I’m 18 on our press material? This is stupid, everybody knows it’s not true!” Moko protests. Yua rolls her eyes. “Look, we’re trying to sell some youthful innocence here, how are our audience supposed to believe that you’re pure and angelic if you say your real age? They’ll assume that you’ve definitely had sex by now!” Moko sighs deeply. “What’s the big deal about all this purity crap anyway, what’s wrong with just being honest and enjoying sex?” “It’s Korea, they’re fucked up like that because they’re all incels with a virgin fetish – but we have to go along with it if we want their money”, replies Yua. “I mean, look at NewJeans, that’s what we’re competing with now. If we want the creepy uncle fans to throw us cash again we need to work extra hard!” Moko looks despondent – is she really cut out for the trials of the idol life?
Dramatic impact: still less creepy and problematic than the NewJeans “Hurt” video
Kpopalypse drama rating: 2/10 wacky statements from ADOR stretching plausible deniability to breaking point
I Impregnated And Ravaged Your Sister Because I Hate You And It Makes Me Feel Better – CAWD-314
Plot synopsis: A beautiful love story about Moko Sakura finding her one true love Loona’s Chuu in the audience at a Honey Popcorn concert, and taking her on walks in the park to hold hands and think pure thoughts. They have lots of deep and meaningful conversations and promise to meet each other well again in the future.
Dramatic impact: it’s well acted but it lacks dramatic tension, all this purity can get a bit dull, at least have a fight or something
Kpopalypse drama rating: 3/10 true promise friendship rings
Close And Passionate With An Idol Seductress That Empties My Balls Completely For A Secret Round Of Fucking At A Men’s Massage Parlor – CAWD-322
Plot synopsis: Moko Sakura takes a new job at a massage parlor in order to pay down her idol debt, with her advanced training and finely honed idol skills allowing her to give therapeutic service of the highest quality. One day k-pop star Se7en walks in the door and demands a full service massage. Moko does her best to relax Se7en’s muscles from head to toe as much as possible, but at the end of the hour-long massage he complains bittterly “where’s my happy ending?” Moko shrugs in reply – “I can’t help it if you’re not happy, I really did my best. Were you not massaged?” Se7en is furious. “This isn’t good enough, I paid good money for this – I demand to speak to your manager!” Moko calls the manager onto the floor, will she be able to resolve the tense situation?
Dramatic impact: proof that good technique doesn’t always mean a good acting experience, Moko tries hard but the writing isn’t there
Kpopalypse drama rating: 3/10 three year old clarifications to the Korean press
Disciplining A Compliant Maid With A Pregnancy Fetish – CAWD-332
Plot synopsis: Never one to pass up an opportunity to make money, Moko Sakura gets a job at Kim Hyun Joong’s house as the maid. The hours are long and the work is hard, cleaning endless stains from expensive furniture until one day Moko cuts her shin deeply on Kim Hyun Joong’s very sharp coffee table. Moko screams and Kim Hyun Joong comes down to take a look at what happened. “Gosh that’s quite a nasty scrape, I’ll call an ambulance for you and take you to hospital. Be careful going down the stairs at the front of the apartment, I wouldn’t want you to trip and hurt yourself even more.” Moko is grateful for Kim Hyun Joong’s concern, but sure wishes he would get himself a more OH&S compliant apartment. Would reporting the unsafe environment to the media help? What will Moko do to help rectify her working environment?
Dramatic impact: eh, it’s not that great…. ah fuck I’m irritated I’m going to stop thinking about it
Kpopalypse drama rating: 5/10 pregnancy machines
Sneak Attack On The House Of An Extreme Masochist Full Of Cum Because Of A Masturbation Ban! Moko Sakura Makes Him Feel Good With 13 Cum Shots – CAWD-342
Plot synopsis: Moko Sakura appears as a guest at an annual nofap club meeting to teach everyone the joys of abstinence. Everyone gets along lovely and promises not to touch their own genitals except to wash them while thinking about the national anthem.
Dramatic impact: while it’s heartening to see everyone so committed to their personal goals, standing in a room and agreeing to not have fun doesn’t make for much of a drama
Kpopalypse drama rating: 4/10 badly played trombones
“Sex With My Boyfriend Isn’t Working Out…” She Seeks Out Advice From Her Longtime Friend With A Big Dick, Leading Her To Indulge In Risky Pleasure… – CAWD-354
Plot synopsis: “He can’t get it up, what do you think – is it me? Am I doing anything wrong?” Moko asks. Wonho shakes his head. “I’m sure it’s nothing like that, some guys just have trouble making camping tents stand up on their own, and it doesn’t matter how much you hold down the pegs for them, they just can’t erect the poles properly. It can also be due to the wrong location, perhaps the soil is too hard to work with, or maybe it’s just poor quality equipment. I can come to your campsite and take a look if you like?” Moko nods her head. “That’d be great, Wonho! We need someone who really knows about poles!” Moko is happy but will Wonho really be able to help, and will Moko’s boyfriend be willing to actually take on board camping advice from another man without feeling like his masculinity is threatened?
Dramatic impact: definitely a drama worth pitching a tent for
Kpopalypse drama rating: 7/10 annoying bent camping pegs that won’t go into dry Australian soil
My Very Own Slutty Cum Bucket Who Will Show Up In Unexpected Places And Unexpected Moments, And Will Always Fuck Raw And Do Nothing Else – CAWD-366
Plot synopsis: Moko Sakura decides to surprise her boyfriend in random locations and have sex a lot.
Dramatic impact: it’s pretty cool
Kpopalypse drama rating: 8/10 fuck this post took an entire week, next one I’ll draft it bit by bit
Drunk And Tired, Creampie Cumdumpster Number 1 Idol – CAWD-376
Plot synopsis: I know what you’re thinking but the Kpopalypse team didn’t take any issue with “creampie cumdumpster” when we were making this post because our vision for original and wholesome drama content was crystal clear to us. Slang terms aren’t taught in school and not everyone is familiar with them. It’s impossible for people to be familiar with every idiom and offensive term out there and predicting their reception around the world is an even more challenging task. To be sure, we consulted with English professors, professional interpreters, translators and native speakers about this issue, who suggested it isn’t a commonplace phrase and one they had to look up as they were unfamiliar with it themselves. The common thread in all of their opinions was that it’s very problematic to put total confidence into any one interpretation, that a person’s understanding relies on a mix of objective facts and personal experience, and that this must all be considered together in a wider context. They added that the words “creampie cumdumpster” are also not a commonly used slang term for anything sexual and therefore not a problematic word itself, but that any reader could take the words to mean something different depending on their personal experience and exposure to certain slang meanings. They also gave no credit to the argument concerning singular and plural use of the word as both are extremely commonplace, noting that if someone’s goal is to find ill-intentioned meaning or interpret it as slang used among a small subset of people then they will, but that they would be wrong to conclude with any certainty that this is in line with any definitive meaning. Considering how common it is to use friendly and familiar imagery like a cream pie even in content targeted toward the youngest children, it would be nonsensical, for example, to stir up controversy over the American tradition of Girl Scouts knocking on strangers’ doors to sell their cream pies, or the flyers reading, “Get your cream pies before it’s too late! Ask my daughter today.”
Dramatic impact: It’s possible that this long explanation would have no sway over people who have already made up their minds about the issue. Despite our best efforts, we’re worried whether we’ll be able to deal with each and every harmful interpretation with malicious intent behind it for that reason. After all, a toxic perspective can take something harmless and see it as something that’s anything but. We believe the most important factor when it comes to interpretation is context. As always, context is key.
Kpopalypse drama rating: 6/10 k-pop company rebuttals that read like k-pop company stan rebuttals
Secretarial Power Harassment at a Hotel on a Business Trip – Creampie – Rape in Shared Room – CAWD-387
Plot synopsis: “Hey, just because we’re sharing a room together doesn’t mean I want to see you wave that around, put it away right now!” Moko complains. Lisa grudgingly complies, putting the “BLACKPINK” sword back in its sheath. “You’re no fun to tour with, Moko. You Honey Popcorn girls need to lighten up if you’re going to be our opening act, we’re fed up with you being so sullen”. “I’m sorry, I just get nervous when sharp things get waved around… I was injured at Kim Hyun Joong’s place the other week, you know.” Moko rolls up her skin, revealing the scar, which makes Lisa recoil in shock. “Oh I’m so sorry, that looks terrible! I had no idea! No wonder you’re in such a shitty mood!” Will Blackpink and Honey Popcorn be able to reconcile their touring tension?
Dramatic impact: it’s definitely Moko Sakura in your area…
Kpopalypse drama rating: 5/10 crappy YG choreography routines
Two Days Of Being Raped Between Two Delinquent Brothers – CAWD-401
Plot synopsis: A sequel to the above where Yua Mikami and Jennie have a backstage fight about set length – Yua wants Honey Popcorn to have one extra song, but Jennie won’t allow it. Moko steps in and tries to be the peacemaker: “Yua, if we do one less song, that’ll leave the audience wanting more of us, that’s a good thing, right? It’s better than overstaying out welcome. How many times did you go to see a concert and specifically want the support act to stay longer?” Will Moko be able to talk Yua around?
Dramatic impact: …but this one’s more the revolution, thanks to some innovative camera angles
Kpopalypse drama rating: 10/10 Brown Eyed Girls reformations
That’s all for this post! Kpopalypse will update you again with more Honey Popcorn content at a future date!