The new month is here and that means it’s time for QRIMOLE, the monthly series where Kpopalypse answers questions from all the lovely readers!  Let’s check out some reader questions!

I recently heard “Love Dive” by IVE. Listening to the instrumental on YouTube… it’s incredible how simple it is. I really want to understand what gives the song its dark, sinister texture. Is it the vocal effects? Does that provide any issues during live performances, or can those effects still be applied in real time?

Another thing I really appreciate about the song is how well the instrumental and voices work together. Neither overpower the other and in fact complement each other at just the right times. One particular moment of that synergy is the satisfying “clicking” percussion right after the iconic “narcissistic, my god, I love it” line, which is even mirrored in the choreography. There’s also that slight pause just before the second part of the second chorus, which makes the actual beat drop hit that much harder.

How much of that stuff was planned out when the song was still in development? When it comes to music production, what comes first — the lyrics, the harmonies, the melodies, or something else entirely? Like, when the song was being made, did they have placeholder synths or something to stand in for the voice line that were eventually removed from the final track? I’m guessing a single (high-quality) song goes through multiple iterations to really nail down the pacing of the backing track in tandem with the vocals. It just blows my mind thinking about the sheer foresight a producer needs to make a banger of a song.

On an unrelated note, I just wanted to say that I appreciate you taking the time to answer all of these questions. It’s super cool being able to ask musical questions about K-Pop to someone with such a technical background in music. Whenever I hear a new song, I always think, “What does Kpopalypse think about this?” not for self-validation, but to see if there were any aspects of the song I didn’t think about before. I’ve definitely been trying to listen for the “off-the-beat rhythmic choices” you mentioned about Love Dive in your roundup post, and it’s certainly given me a greater appreciation for the song. Thank you for being so responsive with questions and for making a great blog!

Thanks, glad you are enjoying the content! 

Most songs given to k-pop idol artists are not created in-house, but are bought from songwriters.  Usually these songs are submitted in demo format, which means a rougher mix with less polish.  The vocal melody (industry jargon for this is “topline”) is usually sung by a person but with just placeholder lyrics that get changed later to fit the concept of whatever the final song is deemed to be (it’s rare for something else like a synth to be used for topline just because it makes selling the idea of the song harder and also makes it harder to imagine singers on the final product).  There’s actually quite a lot of these “original demo versions” of k-pop songs circulating online, they come up from time to time. 

A lot of the original demo versions do in fact sound a lot like the final versions, what’s often missing is the little details, such as rhythmic quirks and textural choices such as the ones you mentioned in “Love Dive” as well as production polish in general.  In an ideal environment where everything works together well, all these elements fit together nicely and sensibly and the audience gets it too… but of course that’s not always the case.  Making a pop song package is difficult, there’s a lot of factors and often a lot of rework.  Sometimes songs go though multiple iterations or even get thrown out completely!

I love how you encourage music to be full of rage and violence because I’m so sick of people proving their elitist taste by recommending “indie” songs that fall into the “boring coffee-shop” and “Chinese restaurant” music so damn much. If you want to prove you have a better taste than mine, at least suggest songs that are rocking and blasting my ass to the top than these generic songs just sang by not-so-popular artists. People nowadays either fall into irrational hivemind Kpop stans or elitist music listener yet their taste is as dull as a dishwasher (they say they are true music lover but to me they seem to be attracted to the “indie” marketing trick more lol). Also why do you want your music to be bland, healing and chilling? The best way to treat your sadness and frustration with life is to blast them away with songs that are full of rage and violence. That’s why I relate a lot when you said Korean should have more metal band instead of “rock” bands with cheesy unoffensive coffee-shop songs. Luckily I have you and Korean Indie to find truly decent songs to listen to so thank you a whole lot. Love your blog ❤

Cheers!  I wish Korean Indie would cover more metal and harder stuff, although he does cover some from time to time it’s relatively rare and I feel like he’s missing out on a whole chunk of that stuff.  He still does good work anyway within his realm.  Koreans must have a lot of social angst and frustration, I knew that if I had to put up with the shitty go-nowhere working world of Korea I’d have a lot of rage inside me that I’d want to funnel out.  I wouldn’t want to start a coffee shop lounge quartet, I’d want to scream, play loud guitars and break shit.  Metal dudes are some of the most peaceful people I know because they get their anger out through the music, not through starting fights or some bullshit.

Kpopalypse hyung, I wanted to ask the question about “plagiarism” that is rather different from most of the common questions. You explained to us that the operational definition of “plagiarism” is pretty narrow. Therefore, despite IU’s Sea of Moonlight sounding really similar to a-Ha’s Take On Me, the song did not plagiarize the original at all. Even better, I remember you mentioned that Sea of Moonlight was a huge improvement from Take On Me. My question is: How hard is it to produce this kind of songs? Is it possible to do this kind of thing with, for example, T-ara’s Roly Poly, and improve it? Lastly, why don’t more music producers go down this path?

Sorry, if the question sounds a bit weird. Thanks!

Well in k-pop they go down this path quite often, in fact extremely often, there’s a great many k-pop songs that are really just reconfigured western songs.  Those popular YouTube channels that are dedicated to plagiarism hunting, what they’re really finding is instances like this 99% of the time.  Of course the better a song is in the first instance, the harder it is to improve so “Roly Poly” wouldn’t be a good candidate given that it’s pretty much the best song ever made since humanity grew limbs and crawled out of the ocean.  Generally speaking you’re better off starting with a song that has a few easily identifiable flaws with it and trying to write something based off that which can hopefully improve those areas.

Oppa Lollapalooza is coming to my country next year. The lineup hasn’t been announced yet (nor the venue just the city) but I was wondering, is it worth going? I haven’t really been to a concert before so I’m not sure if it’s worth it. They’re selling early bird tickets right now.

Lollapalooza doesn’t exist in Australia, but we used to have something here called the Big Day Out which was kind of similar, I guess if I were to go it would depend on what artists were performing.  I used to go to the Big Day Out every year but I stopped going in my 30s when the discomfort of standing around all day outdoors in the heat (the organisers would stupidly always run it right in the middle of Australia’s desert-heat summer, fucking morons) outweighed the desire to see a 40 minute set of one or two bands who probably wouldn’t get to visit my country at all if it wasn’t for a big event like this.  Also after a while the festival got stale as they’d constantly just have the same 90s acts on, but I did get to see some cool stuff through the years.  I’d say it was worth it, if you’ve got the stamina/patience for it, I really don’t anymore.  I’d go if some really amazing acts that I actually liked were to show up, but they generally don’t and we just have to endure The Red Hot Chilli Peppers yet again as the headliners at every fucking festival ever, ugh.

New caonima here, happy to find a no nonsense source for k-pop criticism. There’s been a bit of a trend recently of people saying vocals are dying in k-pop. Not to be a vocalfag but I’m sort of inclined to agree, since increasingly shitty singers are debuting to great success. Obviously being a great singer doesn’t mean decent songs (Mamamoo syndrome rears it’s ugly head), but it obviously helps. Group success has never really been strongly tied to strength of discography or talent, but do you believe that this is an actual trend within the genre?

No.  K-pop singers have always been mostly bad, this has never changed much.  In “Nine Muses Of Star Empire” the producer talks about how most k-pop singers can’t actually sing, and identifies only one girl within Nine Muses who can sing well (Sera), and that kind of ratio is pretty normal in all k-pop groups.  There’ll always be a niche for an entire group of people who can sing, but that niche will never be as big as the niche for people who look the part and have the ability to capture the hearts of the audience, which is what the k-pop system hinges on more specifically.  At the end of the day fan bias will compensate for any singing shortfalls.  People mostly listen with their eyes and hearts.

I am a girl. I am somewhat thicc, mostly around my stomach/hips area. How can I become less thicc without starving myself like a kpop girl? I’ve heard working out can help and have been doing more of that lately, but generally it makes me gain weight because I end up eating more.

Also, I know being thicc is in the interests of Kpopalypse, but many of the people around me seem very against it, which is part of why I don’t want to be. Kpopalypse is taken and also on the opposite side of the world from me, so it doesn’t matter as much what he thinks (though you’re certainly welcome and entitled to your opinion). But what the guys and women around me say and think of me does.

It’s true that my opinion shouldn’t matter to you – but the opinion of people around you shouldn’t matter either!  It’s only your opinion, divorced from any pleasing of others, that really matters here.  But assuming that you’re doing this for the right reasons, here’s what worked for me.  Keep in mind that I didn’t lose a ton of weight since I started working out but I did lose a marginal amount plus had a “body transformation” where I replaced a lot of fat with muscle.

Yes exercise will help you lose weight.  Try and combine strength training and cardio, don’t just do one (a lot of women at the gym tend to do cardio only).  Cardio will give you the actual benefit of breathing heavily while working out (which is how the weight loss happens) but strength training will make the results look better and also make you feel better.  Of course when you exercise your body will then want more food so the trick is to give it the right sort of food.  I found that I lost a ton of weight when I stopped eating sugar, if you can do just one thing with your diet to improve weight loss then remove sugar, if you want a second thing to cut back on it’s carbs.  Of course if you crave these foods don’t go full cold turkey because that’s unrealistic and will just result in a “rebound”, but just relegate them to treats to have occasionally when you’re out, certainly don’t store them in your house.  If you feel the compulsive need to stuff your stomach to the max then do it with green vegetables, these are very low calorie density per volume so it’s almost impossible to gain weight on green veg alone even if you’re barely exercising.  Another thing to consider is how full do certain foods make you feel (satiety), for instance brown rice has less calories than white rice, but it also doesn’t make you feel quite as full, so you’ll tend to just eat more of it anyway.

I know you’ve joked about Hybe’s best songwriters leaving to be with Viviz. I recall reading in the past that Eunha’s stylist left Hybe to continue to be her stylist even now. Do you think other behind-the-scenes workers also left with the members in solidarity with them and to protest Hybe and Source Music’s awful treatment of Gfriend? I know this kind of thing’s just the kind of optimistic bullshit fans love to tell themselves, so even the stylist thing may just be pure fiction. Since you’re a seasoned professional in the music industry, you have a much more experienced take on this kind of thing. Does it normally happen? Does K-Pop’s crazy circumstances make this more or less likely to occur?

It’s entirely possible to have happened.  K-pop is a business, so the way to understand the motivations behind what employees do is to just think about it like employees in any other business.  Imagine if you have an office job and a person you really liked working for in the office got another job in a different company doing very similar stuff – would you follow them if you could?  It’s possible that you might.

Hello! I was thinking about a discussion about lyrics that came up on your Curious Cat a while ago, and I felt like adding some thoughts. I wanted to do so on Retrospring but I wouldn’t fit the word limit (ugh), plus Mole is almost out anyway.

On your Curious Cat, you said you liked Paris Hilton’s “Nothing in This World”. I pointed out that its lyrics are about Paris convincing a guy to leave his girl for her, and you said “maybe the girl is a bitch, she deserves it”. I said “that’s not specified in the lyrics, so Paris just comes across as selfish”, and you said “I don’t get why everyone has to be nice in their songs” (or something like that). However, I feel the need to elaborate on this. I know I might sound like a conservative “protect the kids!!!!” politician, but when a song presents a morally objectionable message, there will always be people who will be influenced by said message, and possibly spread it as well, continuing the cycle.

You also pointed out on Retrospring that many K-pop songs glorify abusive relationships, with the male idol usually being the abuser and the female idol usually being the victim. On top of that, you also made everyone notice that most male Korean artists who were involved in sex crimes were the ones who had already gotten more contractual freedom (Seungri, Yoochun, Roy Kim, etc). This means that the aforementioned male idols probably became sexual abusers because they constantly got fed the mantra “treating your partner/women like shit is okay”; in other words, they got influenced by the message and replicated it in real life, because they were too young to know better. If they had not been exposed to such negative influences, they would have not developed such a negative behaviour – and given that fans consider idols as… well, idols, the former might also replicate the message and continue the cycle.

Back to Paris Hilton – her audience mostly consists of teenage girls and Twitter stans, both categories of people that would easily get on board with the idea “stealing someone’s partner is okay”. So when such people hear a song that says “stealing someone’s partner is okay”, they will also be influenced by the message and replicate it in real life. Maybe some of those are aspiring musicians and will also write songs inspired by that one, continuing the cycle.

This explains why all those music critics who don’t work for publications (Spectrum Pulse, Diamonds Axe Music Studios, etc) give lyrics so much weight: they certainly don’t aim at creating a perfect world full of rainbows and unicorns, but they do want to make a difference by highlighting such negative messages. Of course the viewer/reader still gains awareness of the message and is free to spread it anyway and disagree with the review – to avoid this, critics would have to pretend such songs don’t exist, and that’s obviously stupid because a critic that only reviews what they like might as well not be a critic at all. However, it’s still important to show the wrongness of the message to as many people as possible – this applies in particular to artists with a very young audience (K-pop idols first of all), because the youngest listeners are the most easily influenced ones.

I hope I did a good job at explaining my point of view. What do you think?

A song isn’t the same thing as a religious tract or a self-motivational book.  It’s not supposed to be instructions on how to live your life.  Saying that no popular songs should have morally bad things in them is like saying no movies should ever have gunfights in them because murder is wrong.  Often, just like in movies, a song isn’t meant to be a literal moral playbook for the consumer to digest at face value, but rather is portraying the point of view of a character, a specific individual, or a hypothetical person in a certain state of mind.  Example:

Is Ice-T, the singer of Body Count, advocating that we kill all police officers?  Actually, no.

He’s playing a character, and using the example of a character who is so angry that he wants to kill police officers, to illustrate the issue of the logical conclusion of police brutality – that a community under unfair harsh treatment from the police will eventually fight back with more than just words and court cases.  He’s not saying that you should kill police, he’s trying to illustrate the mindset of someone who does want to kill police, and why they might feel that way.  His concerns were proven valid, the LA Riots happened about six months after the song was released, triggered by four police officers being found innocent of police brutality despite very clear video evidence to the contrary.  Did the song cause the riots?  Definitely not – the song wasn’t even all that popular until AFTER the riots happened and people in the media latched onto the track while searching for a convenient scapegoat to pin the blame on instead of dealing with the actual problem that Ice-T was trying to address.

Now I get that not everybody understands context like that, and that some people might decide to take songs on face value.  That’s their own fault, for being so fucking stupid, plus their parents’ fault for raising idiots and not taking the responsibility to educate their children about things like context and rational thought.  But there might still be hope, perhaps those dumb fucks can read this website a bit and become a little smarter.  We can hope.

Hi catpocalypse, I’m really enjoying the cat updates, I hope Stiglitz recovers well from her butt troubles 🙂

I would like some very quick dating advice. I have a crush on a friend, and I tricked him into going to a theme park with me. He doesn’t know it’s a date yet, and I was planning on making a move on him at the end of that day. Problem is: I am still figuring out the best way to approach this. I don’t like the advice I’ve been given by the senior adults in my life as they involved feeding him drunk, basically sexually assaulting him, and backtracking with a “just kidding” if it doesn’t work. Is it too direct to say something like “hey I’m interested in you, shall we make it a date next time we meet up?”. I feel like it sounds like giving someone a business proposal. I don’t think I like the idea of trying to kiss or hug someone without explicit consent because I hate it when someone does that to me. And drugging him like the elders told me to is certainly out of the question.

Yeah I’m not too keen on the advice from your seniors, that sort of stuff is only for JAV and Gain music videos, not real life.  Here’s a better idea, just approach the visit to the theme park as a way for you two to have FUN together and do cool theme park stuff.  You might be crushing but you don’t know if anything’s going to work between you two yet, and the theme park thing is a good way to test this out.  Maybe you’ll both hit it off great, in which case things will probably naturally develop, or at the very least he’ll definitely say yes to a second outing, perhaps somewhere more intimate.  Or maybe it’ll be weird and awkward as shit, in which case that’s a pretty good indicator that any relationship attempt between you two is probably unlikely to gain any wings.  Or maybe you’ll find out something about him which is a mega red flag and you won’t want to go there anyway.  But guys generally don’t tend to spend much time with girls they don’t like, so the fact that he said yes to this at all, even if you “tricked” him, is a reasonably promising start. 

Imagine you were allowed to release ‘Absolute First Album: The Definitive Edition’, which basically takes the ‘Breaking Heart’ repack and clothes it in the parent album’s visuals and packaging. Starting with Breaking Heart’s tracklist, you are allowed to not only remove songs from it, but also adjust and move around the tracklisting. What would be the final tracklist, and why?

Remove “Falling U”, “Good Person” and “Wanna Play” as these tracks are weak.  Put “I’m In Pain” after “Bo Peep” and “IGCBOY” straight after that.  Fixed, no other changes needed.  “TTL Listen 2” is a good sentimental-sounding album closer.  “One & One” is a perfect album opener (this short track was clearly designed originally as such) and shouldn’t have tracks before it.  With the suggested order you get the intro, then all the biggest singles in quality order, then all the more decent album stuff.

A few days ago I was watching a clip about an Australian Victoria’s Secret model. She told a story about how they told her she was fat because she had gained an inch on her hips. They had video of her walking the runway for the fashion show and while she was smiling, she was alarmingly thin. She also explained in the interview that she would go multiple days in a row without eating anything.
when I see people that thin and emaciated being celebrated as sex bombs or whatever it’s so disturbing…like how do people find women who are unhealthy skinny attractive/and or ideal? Who exactly looks at a woman and knowing she’s having to starve herself to look a certain way, promote that as ideal beauty? Even in kpop they try to pretend they have healthier figures by giving them hip pads and pushup bras.

I feel there’s a bizarre obsession with skinniness within dominant white culture (black guys at least in America tend to not mind slightly heavier women probably because of imported African standards). Obviously not every guy has the same brain. But I have noticed there’s a culture in the Western white sphere specifically that really celebrates being very thin, beyond the point of health.

Is it some way to physically constrain women? Like they’re weaker and more delicate since they’re malnourished? Or is it just a reaction to the obesity epidemic? Because I don’t feel there was this same obsession before the 60s-70s.

It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with catering to what men in general specifically like, yes some guys do prefer skinny girls but the very extreme fashion-model style skinniness you’re referring to is an almost universal turn-off with men.  I also don’t think the “obesity epidemic” is relevant as that only started to get media coverage in the last 30 years or so and skinny women in the media goes back much further than that.  I also doubt that it’s any attempt at “control”, because if that were true it would mean that men were significantly less misogynistic before the advent of such standards, which I don’t believe. 

Skinniness as a beauty standard really started with the advent of television in the 1940s/1950s.  On television cameras, the illusion of the lens makes people look larger than they are, and there was suddenly a big focus on making people look more attractive on the small screens in people’s homes.  There were also advances in photography technology during this time, and more people started to own personal cameras plus magazines started to use more photographed images (where the same lens effect applies, obviously).  If you go back before the 1940s in the west, you’ll see that bigger women were generally preferred.  The other factor I think is that the fashion industry really latched onto skinniness at around that time because they worked out that a skinny woman functions much like a clothes hangar in terms of displaying the clothes in as neutral a manner as possible. 

in a similar vein, why is everything surrounding weight and diet always in extremes? either a person is fat or skinny. there’s “fat positivity” but i’ve never seen a movement for people with statistically average sized bodies. but if that’s what is the healthiest shouldn’t that be what is promoted?

Honestly I think “body positivity” is actually mostly centred around people with average-sized or only slightly plus-sized bodies, and the idea that it’s designed to make 300-kilo people feel like supermodels is just a falsehood pushed by 4chan types in order to strawman the movement as something stupider and easier to attack than it really is.  Most obese people I know think that body positivity is a good thing but also do actually want to lose weight and are working in that direction, just because of the obvious health benefits of being skinnier.  Body positivity to me is more about stopping bullying and shaming, and making people feel better about themselves so they don’t just wallow in despair but DO feel motivated enough to realise their body is valuable and look after their health.

I know you mentioned that you’ve been keeping up with the Russo-Ukraine War. What have you been using to get the news? As an American, I usually use AP News, BBC News, and the Guardian (I think that says enough about the absolute state of my country’s media). I’ve found that my usual news sources have been incredibly lacking in good analyses into the subject matter. Most journalists just don’t have the background to understand events beyond the hype. I have been watching Perun’s Russian-Ukraine Analysis videos since he seems to have a strong background in military economics and history. I know you don’t have much time, but they’ve been great podcast audio for transit.

I agree, I think Perun is the best of the YouTubers analysing the big-picture situation from afar.  There are others but I wouldn’t recommend any of them over Perun.

I don’t go for a lot of news sites, I find they’re often a little behind what’s going on and not always reliable in determining what happened, or what is happening.  They also tend to be antipartisan to a fault i.e often straining themselves extra hard to give “both sides” of a situation where one party is clearly just at fault.

For updates on where the frontline is and very current news on troop movements and battles, I like Denys Davydov, a Ukrainian living near Kyiv who releases new videos usually daily with lots of information.  For the best compilations of actual war footage, I like Estonian YouTuber Artur Rehi who has some decent analysis of individual battles and is also a bit of a character, he tends to post weekly.  Warning that these videos are often very high quality drone footage and sometimes exceptionally graphic.

For an honest Russian footsoldier perspective of how it’s going on the ground for them (spoiler: not very well) as well as ample evidence of the atrocities committed by Russians against Ukranians as well as how brazenly and consistently the Russian army and government lie, the intercepted phone calls between Russian soldiers and their families are amazingly revealing.  They talk candidly about the truth of who is winning battles, using banned weapons (white phosphorous, cluster bombs), about killing civilians and blaming the other side for it etc.  Try channel “Insights From Ukraine And Russia” for a bunch of these, and this other Ukrainian channel for even more, not all of them are in English but the really crucial ones are.  Warning again that the atrocities committed run the full range of bad things that happen during wartime and some of these are very confronting to listen to people talk about.

I know it’s July 31st at 1:51 pm , but look at this shit!!!!!

They said Bang Chan from Stray Kids is strongest kpop idol.

WonHo is clearly the strongest. Just look at all his muscle mass accumulated in your objectification survey. #1 three categories.

Speaking of fake news, Quora is a trash site.  Fact-check anything you read there.

Wonho won all FOUR male categories of the objectification survey this year, the second year he has performed a clean sweep!

Hey Oppar, I’m going to college soon. Do you have any advice? idgaf if it’s social or coursework related

Yes.

Oppar!
I passed my college admission exam for a science degree in the best university of my country. I want to thank you because i discovered your site 1 week before the exam, and reading your posts really relieved some of my stress. Thank you very much!
I also apology because i only put 2 names in the objectification survey, i’m a kpop listener since 3 months ago only, and didn’t know a lot of idols or groups. I’ll make sure to fill it out completely the next time!

Congratulations!

Thanks for doing the survey.  I don’t mind if people skip categories, that’s fine.  Just fill out the ones you care about and skip the rest.  Thanks to all people who did the survey!

How do I actually make friends with people in my university? I am almost three years into my undergraduate studies already, and I barely know the other students in my major because the first two years were spent almost entirely online. Yet somehow a lot of them know each other fairly well and have no problem communicating irl?
It also seems that I have nothing in common with them – I’ve seen them making plans to meet up in our group chat and it’s almost always nightclubs or bars.
My parents are always pestering me to go out with the others and/or to suggest places to meet up. Thing is, I’m kind of dorky – socially stunted and pretty shy, I think I tend to come across as aloof. Clubs skeeve me out and I dislike drinking in public.
Still, most of the other students seem kind of cool and I have made zero connections in uni, so I’m sorta willing to go out of my comfort zone. But where do I even start? What kind of place do I suggest? How do I make myself appear convincingly friendly? How do I deal with the possibility of rejection, either the verbal type or the “left on seen” type?

If you have nothing in common with them, you should be happy that they’re ignoring you, because if you were in their social circle they’d probably bug the shit out of you anyway.  I think the best way to get to know people at Uni is to join a club.  Unis have tons of clubs, find one that caters to an interest you like (not k-pop ahem ahem) and you will meet plenty of people probably on your wavelength.

1. I think a big part of IU’s appeal is she’s really good at presenting herself. Like, when I first saw pictures of her I was like “she’s pretty, but there are lots of very pretty people in kpop.” Then I saw her in MVs, and she has a ton of very captivating mannerisms and facial expressions that come across as more sincere than most singers can manage.

(Context for the following questions: I’m 20 years old and in university.)

2. How can you tell if someone is the right person to date in the long run or not?

Recently I went back to my home town and hooked up with an ex who I’m still friends with, and we acted like we were dating for the duration of my trip. Now that I’m no longer on vacation, I feel really sad, almost like I experienced a breakup twice. I feel like hooking up with him was a bad idea, because it makes me way more sad than otherwise. And I don’t want to date him right now because I tried long distance in the past and it also made me sad. I feel like if I’m going to date him, my time is “running out”, because he won’t be around forever. He makes me happier than anyone I’ve ever met, so I don’t know if it’s a bad idea to let him go or not. But there are also some key issues that make me think dating him in the long run will make me unhappy—like, we’re both very anxious people, he’s young and won’t have independence for a long time, we fight a lot, the sex could be better, etc. And I feel like I shouldn’t short-term date someone who I don’t think is a great fit in the long run, because then I can’t really move on. But I’m also not sure if I’m being too picky and he’s the best person I’m going to find. Most people don’t like me back anyway, so I feel like if I let him go I won’t find anyone to date for a very long time. It’s also hard to date others when I’m still kind of hung up on this guy from my past, so I’m not sure what the best way to fully get over him (at least until I see him next) is.

3. I’m currently doing volunteer work in a field I’ve really wanted experience in for a while. They’ve recently been having trouble getting responses from recruitment emails (a job I’m partly responsible for), and said I need to be more selective. I’m already being pretty selective, so I’m going to ask for feedback on what I can do differently. But this makes me very anxious. I previously got fired without warning from a different job after missing 3 meetings for a mix of health reasons and my own negligence, so I feel very paranoid about this. I’ve also generally had issues in the past with tardiness (not with this job, though) and for generally wanting more flexibility with travel than most jobs are willing to give (because I love my home town.) That being said, it’s a volunteer-based job, so I feel like there should be some flexibility with remote work. But I don’t want to burn bridges or make a bad impression. How do I deal with performance-related feedback without getting anxious and defensive, and how do I know if my requests for flexibility are reasonable or not?

1. Quite possible, she’s certainly been doing her thing for a while, and once you’re an experienced performer you learn how to work with the camera more etc.
2. There’s no such thing as the perfect person, or even the perfect person for you, because humans are too complicated for this.  Everyone will have issues of some kind or things you don’t like about them, what you’re really looking for is someone who has flaws that you can deal with.  Decide which aspects of a relationship are an absolute deal-breaker vs which are things that can be worked with.  Personally fighting a lot for me is a complete deal-breaker, but anxiety isn’t.  There’s no right or wrong here, your list may vary.  This is what people really mean when they say relationships are “hard work”, no two people match perfectly so you have to compromise and juggle a little to make any relationship fit together for the long term.
3. Just ask.  Just do it.  Missing meetings is a whole different ball game to asking for feedback, because missing meetings can be interpreted to indicate slackness, whereas asking for feedback is generally interpreted as you actually caring about doing well at your job.  Just ask in a nice way and don’t be cunty about it and you’ll be fine. 

What is your opinion on underage people being exposed to porn or masturbating?The more popular porn sites have a 18+ requirement. Do you think this is necessary? And how does this apply to music

I know that I when I was growing up I masturbated as soon as I figured out how to do so, and I also looked at porn as soon as I was able to get hold of some… although for context, when I was young porn wasn’t particularly easy for a young person living at home to get hold of, there was no Internet so you couldn’t just search up “IU Shindong bukkake” like you can now so I was about 14 or 15 before I even saw any porn at all.  Obviously people have sexual feelings as soon as they hit puberty, so there’s no harm in masturbation, it’s the safest sex you’ll ever have and despite the scare tactics of Christian-funded “nofap” sites, it’s completely harmless.  Porn exposure when I was underage also never did me any harm… probably didn’t do me any good either, but I certainly enjoyed looking at it when I was able to and getting out the endless sexual tension I had as a teenager was definitely a good thing, I probably should have masturbated even more than I did.  Just realise when you watch the stuff that these people in porn films are pros and the sex that you have is not going to look like that, nor are people going to act like that, consume it for the fantasy that it is and it’s fine.  Porn sites having an 18+ requirement, not sure what you mean – for the visitors, or the performers?  For the visitors it seems a bit silly to me because as if people aren’t just going to lie about their age, but an age minimum requirement for the performers certainly makes sense, to protect them from being taken advantage of until they’re old enough to have a realistic hope of grasping the nature of the industry and making the right decisions regarding their place in it.  How does this apply to music?  It doesn’t, because it’s not a question about music.

Viviz Loveade live band version is more listenable compared to the nasally studio counterpart. This reminds me of Exid song where LE asks Hyelin/Solji to sing one note higher because they can. Why they didn’t just sing to the more comfortable range? It’s not that the song becomes bad once you lowered the note, right?

The live version does sound good but the vocals are actually identical pitch to the studio version, they didn’t drop the key here.  I’m not sure if that’s what you meant.

Holy shit I’m balls deep in another “stupidly crushing on a guy” phase and I don’t know how to cope yet. More specifically:
I met this guy through an irrelevant mutual activity and from the get-go he was really nice to me and my anxiety-ridden ass. We got each other’s Discords and I hung out with him over the (Northern Hemispherean) summer a couple times, and I did my best to include him and make conversation. As he’s older than me, I was pretty aware he’d be pursuing higher education sooner or later before me and I was at peace with that before, but now it’s gradually sinking in that by September I’ll probably never see him again. I’d leave him as a good memory and all that if all I felt was friendship, but in my mostly unsullied gay-ass heart I feel a cubic shitton more than platonics; I’ve crushed on other guys, confessed to one unsuccessfully and I’ve made my peace with that, but for the first time these feelings of mine have actually given me motivation and reassurance like what I might imagine a “mature” relationship might bring, as opposed to tiring me out every fucking second.
The last time I said goodbye to him I tried to find compromise in my head by telling him what I thought of him generally (that he’s cool and chill), as I assumed it would be my last time seeing him and I didn’t want to fuck things up too much, but he followed up by saying me we can probably meet up one last time and now I don’t know what to do. We’re both guys, neither of us have given concrete signs to the other that we’re gay or not, but even if I knew he was it’s pretty definitive that nothing would happen romantically (the sole thing I’d want to pursue) because of the inherent age difference.
I guess my question would be, it would probably be better for me to suck up my attraction and leave our memories of each other as chance friends that might forget about each other soon, right? I would confide in someone else about my problems with habitual self-serving pining, but I don’t really know anyone that would be cool discussing my home-essential problems, or many other home-essentials/fruit scented hand soaps/friends of Chuu and Yves’s in general.
P.S. The virus checker I ran this blog through prior to last month’s Qrimole updated its report on kpopalypse to “suspicious”, rather than ambiguous. Something something Dara+ Chuu+ is meddling with the Internet?

When I think of all the times that I said “yes” when I probably should have said “no”, and the times when I said “no” when I probably should have said “yes”, I think that it’s the times when I said “no” when I probably should have said “yes” where I regret my choice the most.  In other words, if I were in your shoes I’d be meeting the guy one last time just to see what happens, because if you don’t you’ll forever wonder about it.  The power of Chuu compels you.

[WARNING for anyone reading this in public, this question is explicit and you might want to skip it!]

Hi oppar, here’s two questions about porn:
1) I watch that shit once a day, sometimes twice, it’s hard to go forego it for more than a week or two. Living without masturbating sucks, but I’d rather be having sex. My first and only relationship a few years ago was pretty much sexless – my then-gf wasn’t comfortable with it. Being a closeted bi woman, the idea of seeking potential partners in my rather homophobic country makes me nervous, so I’m spending more time with my hands down my pants than I’d like to admit. Does this make me more susceptible to porn addiction? How do I determine whether I’m addicted and how do I overcome it?
2) I tend to watch amateurs rather than professional pornstars, because a lot of the professionally produced stuff is goofy and not sexy. The problem with amateurs is that even many of the verified ones look scarily young. Like, I have a babyface, I get it, but some genuinely don’t look old enough to be doing porn, even if they claim to be 24 or something. I completely avoid young performers and anything labeled “teen” because it makes me wildly uncomfortable. Do you have any advice on how to confirm their ages and how to report them to the platform if something is wrong? What does the verification process involve anyway?

1. Addiction really isn’t about the actual “thing” that you’re addicted to.  It’s about your environment.  I’ve linked this video here before but it’s always worth another look because it perfectly tackles the topic of addiction.  But in summary, if your sex life was more how you wanted it to be, you’d probably be fapping less.  I don’t see any harm in keeping up the fapping until such a time transpires that your sex life is more how you want it, especially if it helps you cope mentally.

2. Age verification on a porn site, if you’re a performer, generally consists of having to provide some kind of ID.  The bigger porn sites are very strict with this (because the legal penalties and the public relations fallout for any public breach are both extremely severe).  That of course doesn’t meant that underage people who want to do porn can’t fake their IDs or whatever, underage performers bullshitting their way into an entire porn career is rare but it has happened (the classic example is Traci Lords but that was back in less-regulated days).  If you saw someone and you were 100% convinced they were underage I’d approach the platform itself in the first instance, as they may investigate and remove the content if you are found to be correct.  How to report them if they don’t cooperate, I honestly don’t know how that would work given that websites are usually hosted internationally from where I live.

Is shitty mixing/production a big problem in metal? Not like, those black metal bands on a budget of $1 and stale bread crumbs, I mean bigger acts, who might have toured outside of their country of origin or played at a festival, shit like that

Not so much these days.  Was a real problem in the 80s, very few thrash and death metal albums back then had decent production because everything was so new and the style was still evolving so quickly, nobody knew what they were doing.  Any metal record released relatively recently with a reasonable budget usually has production quality far above even the A-list artists of the 1980s.

Wonho has always had an interest in stage costumes and went really wild with them after going solo. I get the point of the outfits, it’s to attract the eye to areas of bare skin and look sexy.
While I agree the outfits are sexy, all of them cut his silhouette in half with some detail around the waist and that instantly makes him look shorter than he is. Will you do another fashion post to show us what Wonho is doing wrong? (or right if you disagree with me!)

Examples:

Those details might decrease the apparent height but they also draw attention to the abs area as well as provide a bit of tease.  No doubt deliberate.

OH NO IT’S THE NEWJEANS QUESTION SECTION HOLY MOLY HYBE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

So, about that Hurt MV by NewJeans: I don’t get it ? Maybe I’m too innocent/young (I’m 20 so don’t think so) but I’m really struggling to see it as anything else than closeups of their faces? 😦

Plz explain how it is so perverted, it doesn’t look out of the ordinary to me – which I guess makes sense if it’s a dogwhistle but still…

Answered here.

Oppa, I’m one of the people who kept leaving comments on your blog about how I didn’t get the whole cute concept dog whistle thing. So after I came across this thread about Min Heejin I was like ok now I really need to understand this. So long story short after a few YouTube analysis videos, I ended up watching like 40 minutes of Lolita (1997 version) and ohhhh my god I have never wanted to throw up more in my life. Before I thought of New Jeans’ Hurt as just insufferably boring as I do with any kind of ballad MV that just has the idols staring into the distance. It appalls me that this is her (and whoever else joined her) “inspiration” for concepts. Hurt, Dream Candy is basically if Lolita was shown in a positive light and the way Humbert thinks Lolita sees him. At least I hope this is limited to on screen representation and children aren’t being abused behind closed doors in kpop???? sigh. Not a question just wanted to get this out there.

When “not a question” ends up being the most important question in this entire episode.  Yes children are being sexually abused in k-pop.  Just generally speaking.  People I have interviewed have spoken on this, about being invited to participate in shady situations while still a minor etc.  It happens all the time, and that’s why I do those interviews, and why I wish I could do more of them to expose these aspects (but few people will speak up).  Young hopeful idols are also being abused in a more general sense, just in terms of the harshness of training conditions, the long hours and lack of food, the general demoralisations and dressing-downs they have to go through, the psychological abuse, the arbitrary punishments for not following rules, the financial abuse through one-sided contracts, the varous misrepresentations, the lack of freedom etc etc etc etc etc.

Hi oppar! Regarding the NewJeans debut, there were some people on r/kpop complaining about the members’ clothes in the Attention MV because of how sexual they look, which prompted responses like “regular teen girls wear clothing like this too” and “if you view these girls as sexual YOU’RE the real pedo”. Obviously they’re bullshit because the members are not regular girls, they have a whole company behind them dictating what they wear, but it does lead to an interesting topic – are regular teen girls too sexualized these days? Is it appropriate for a 12-year-old to wear revealing clothing?
And on an adjacent topic, is it okay to be an adult fan of a group like this, or a fan at all? Does it even make a difference, considering the kind of shit that probably happens behind the scenes?

The clothes themselves aren’t really all that extreme (I’ve seen worse) but there’s definitely a Rotta-type aesthetic to the “Attention” video, which you’re not imagining, where they’re trying to sell underage girls as sassy young adults in really subtle ways.  It’s a lot less overt than “Hurt” but it’s in there.

Hello again oppar, I’m the person who asked about NewJeans and sexualized normal teen girls (in case there are a billion questions about the group, which most likely there will be). I have an additional question related to the previous one.
It turns out Min Hee-jin has pictures of underage Brooke Shields on the wall, dressed one of the members up as Mathilda from Léon the Professional, etc. Combined with her previous work at SM, she very clearly has an interest in the topic, to say the least.
That is to say: if one likes Min Hee-jin’s work overall (or Léon the Professional, or Brooke Shields’s early work, or Kubrick’s Lolita, or Jaden Jeong making underage Olivia Hye do the splits) where do you think the line should be drawn in “supporting” this, monetarily or otherwise? What about taking creative inspiration like Min Hee-jin does?

Should you “support” this stuff, I don’t think that question matters much, just recognise it for what it is, as long as you don’t deny reality or pretend the sun shines out of someone’s ass just because they have a song you like, I think it’s fine.  For instance, I have a friend who is black, and he’s also a black metal fan (in both senses of the word) one of his favourite bands is Burzum.  Now he knows whatshisface from Burzum is a racist motherfucker but he doesn’t care, he’s like “yeah the dude is a piece of shit, for sure, I definitely don’t agree with his shitty opinions, the guy is insane, who knows we might get into a fight if I see him, but… I still like the music, I know what it is, this doesn’t mean I’m signing up to his little Nazi club”.  I’m not going to tell him to stop listening to his favourite bands, and I’m not going to be telling him anything he doesn’t already know about them in any case, he’s actually much more educated on the topic of NSBM than I am.  I think it’s the same with NewJeans or Olivia Hye’s dance routines or Phil Anselmo’s redneck rants or Eric Clapton being a douche or whatever else you might be into – I think it’s fine to listen to whatever, and enjoy it on whatever level pleases you, just don’t deny the reality of what it is and don’t deify these people.  You can enjoy the product while still saying “I don’t agree with x”.  The guy who runs the yiros place up the street from me is an antivaxxer and I don’t agree with that but his falafels still taste fucking good, so I still eat them.  By eating his chicken yiros I’m not signing on to his opinion about the vaccine injecting 5G alien DNA into my bloodstream, I mean it’s obvious bullshit, I’ve had four vaccines now and I still can’t get decent 5G coverage in my area what the fuck man…

Hi oppar, it’s the NewJeans person yet again for the third time. One last thing, I am aware of this post’s existence; I meant “support” as in enjoying the songs, MVs, recommending the songs to other people, etc. I also realized this can apply to the Stellar situation as well (you answered a question about it in the New Year 2021 QRIMOLE), though I think it probably doesn’t matter since everyone is getting exploited in some way in K-pop, not just the ones we know about, so if we were really that disgusted we wouldn’t look at anything in the first place. I’m still interested in hearing your thoughts on where lines should be drawn though, as well as the topic of creative inspiration (and the first question I asked, of course). Thanks in advance!

Yeah just because your idols have a creepy video doesn’t mean they are the ones being exploited.  Maybe, maybe not.

Were people exaggerating when they said Lesserafim’s debut teasers seemed to have a “casting couch” vibe or was that indeed the intended dog-whistle? personally I don’t think their concept is any more inappropriate than their peers but I did raise my eyebrows at the racing model concept photos (though I am aware that actual racing queens dress in a much more revealing way)

I didn’t see the “racing concept” stuff you’re talking about but I’m familiar with the individual member teasers and they didn’t raise my eyebrows that much.  Yeah they were very stylised and trying to make the girls look attractive obviously but “casting couch”… nope, I’m not seeing it.

On the same note, what do you think of the Min Heejin controversy around those specific “lolita” pictures and influences she had in her studio and the relation with Newjeans’ concept? FWIW, I don’t think she is a pedo like everyone else is currently claiming, I know some women who just like that specific “vintage sugar baby” aesthetic (sometimes it’s even a therapeutic way for them to confront their past traumas with sexual abuse) like I know Lana del Rey was really into that shit too but LDR is an adult with creative control while the Newjeans girls are not so I don’t know what to think of all this because as you already mentioned in the roundup, their music videos are sleazy as fuck. This is very different from what IU did with Twenty-three also, the Newjeans MVs don’t feel like they’re critiquing pedophilia in the same way Twenty-three or Hyuna’s Babe did, and I certainly don’t think IU owns Serge Gainsbourg records unironically

I know this shit has been happening for a long time in the pop industry but in general, what’s happening to kpop is the same thing that happened to anime where you used to have realistic and mature looking female characters and then it slowly regressed into hyper infantile moe blobs that don’t actually look like teenage girls anymore (while the rest of the adult women are relegated to secondary or mom characters)

Answered here.

csr’s new music video “pop pop” is quite dog whistle-ly… right? i re-read ur dog whistle articles after the whole min heejin and at first i was like oh this is just them being lovelyz… but the lyrics & schoolgirl concept (combined with the fact that everyone in the group is 16/17) make me feel weirded out

It’s not as bad as “Hurt”.  It’s not even as bad as “Dream Candy”.  I guess 16/17 year olds singing about “my first love I’m so excited” type stuff is realistic enough, if perhaps just a bit icky (like bitch I don’t care go tell your classmates and leave me out of it, I don’t wanna hear about your teenage love trauma ffs) but it’s still more tolerable than 13 year olds eyeing the camera like they’re your secret crush and acting like they want you to really understand their emotional needs in the relationship, ewwwww…. 

I’m having trouble reconciling the fact that I don’t like companies exploiting younger girls (especially 16 and under) with the fact that some of these groups that debuted with the youngsters, such as Billlie, Lightsum, Purple Kiss, Tri.be, NMIXX, and Lapillus (who all debuted with one or more members younger than sixteen), are making better music than most of the older groups at this point. What is your opinion on all of these youngsters? (And yes, I am fully prepared for you to roast my taste.)

To be clear I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being young and in a k-pop group.  Plenty of young people want to be in k-pop groups and all types of other groups too, and why shouldn’t they be.  I just don’t like it when they force 13 year old girls to wear the fuck-me lipstick and make dewy lover-eyes at the camera and sing songs with themes that belong to people with a much older mindset, it fucking sucks.  It’s not the fault of the performers, they don’t have any choice in the matter.  Just give them an age appropriate concept, and I don’t mean “kid’s music” either, just something fucking cool that isn’t dog-whistley.

Look at this.  This is fucking great, there’s nothing wrong with it.  Li-sa-X (girl with the white guitar) was 15 or 16 when this was made.  Is Li-sa-X being pushed out there sexuality-first?  No.  Does she look her age?  Yes.  Is there anything creepy or weird about this video at all (other than that she’s 15 and can play guitar better than you)?  No.  Does Li-sa-X look stylish and entirely presentable and appropriate for the concept?  Yes!  It’s not that fucking hard, people.  I’m not saying girls need to pick up guitars and shred (although that would be cool and I’d support it), just saying that there’s so many other types of concepts that k-pop could use for its underage performers that wouldn’t be creepy or inappropriate at all.  We don’t need to ban underage performers, because that would hurt the Li-sa-X’s of the world, we just need k-pop companies to stop pandering to pedo trash.

As an aside, you always say that you wish some of the more rock oriented groups, Dreamcatcher especially, would make an actual rock track. Speaking as a rock fan myself (some of my favorites include Nothing More, Pierce the Veil, and Evanescence), Id be interested to hear what kind of bands you like to listen to.

Here you go.

Any band that sings lyrics like “we are the metal warriors fighting the darkness for sisters” and “stand up in the name of the God of heavy metal” completely without irony is a winner in my book.

OKAY THANK FUCK THAT’S OVER WITH BACK TO NORMAL QUESTIONS NOW YAY

Oppa I’ve been very depressed for the past few weeks. I’m trying my best to work through that but in the meantime I’ve become like HOOKED on to G-dragon. I’ve been reading your blog for years now so I thought I was well equipped to deal with the kpop marketing machine. It began when I was listening to his latest EP and I was curious about who he is beyond the music and once thing led to another, I fell down a rabbit hole. Uggghh I hate myself for it but like I also can’t help myself. I find him incredibly cool and I’ve been inspired by his life story. I also feel ridiculously sad for him because of like the trauma and the addiction and the loneliness. I guess I also relate to him to some extent. I can’t stop thinking about him despite AND I HATE IT. I guess I need to work on things making me depressed and stop the escapism. Any tips to bring me to reality would be appreciated.

and then

Oppa I just wanted to say I’m ok with the whole obsession over G-dragon. I realised I was avoiding problems in my life after I wrote my message to you. I’m guuuuuuuuuuuud. I mean the problems are not but I’m not longer obsessed with a random kpop idol phew.

Well it was only G-Dragon, so it was bound to not last long.  Good work making it through the darkest night.

is yg horrendous at regular promoting / music rollouts or does it only seem that way to kpop stans, i.e are they just constantly trying to attempt what pledis did for years with after school and nana?

It just seems that way to k-pop stans, because k-pop stans are dumb as shit.  Who is the most popular girl group in the world right now… oh gosh, well whatd’ya know, it’s Blackpink.  Trust me, they know what the fuck they are doing, if they were fucking up their promotions so damn much Blackpink wouldn’t be so damn huge.  K-pop fans complaining is just an indicator that YG has them by the fucking balls.

Hey oppa booboo*~~ Buingg bbuing

So…. was the whole Garam fiasco with the girl group with that untypeable name just psyops for HYBE’s project New Jeans?

It looks like these companies are starting to get the whole ecosystem (song, video, mythology, digital media) around their groups figured out. I think groups like Loona or WJSN tried something similar, but failed and became just another run-of-the-mill group. This New Jeans is the Y2K, globalist, high-achieving, tech student nostalgia aesthetic. The held back release on music streaming reminds me of having to wait to go to the CD store to back an album after watching a video of the single on MTV.

In other words, STAN BLUE JEANS!

Oh, a question. Hmm…. Did rock become too feminist with grunge?

As usual with HYBE the marketing is good.  And by “good ” I mean “effective”.  Look at how many cray-cray fans the group already has, and listen to them try to justify everything.  “Cookie has a different meaning in Korean” yeah, fucking bullshit, kid.

Grunge was basically the 90s punk movement, the equal-but-opposite reaction to hair metal overtaking the charts, in the same sense that 70s punk was a reaction against 70s progressive rock.  Kids like me growing up in school saw bands like Poison and Motley Crue with their carefully crafted hair and clothes, talking about driving fast cars and getting all the girls, we were ugly skinny broke unstylish and nerdy and couldn’t relate to any of that, it seemed like another world.  Then grunge bands came out with equally loud guitars but looking as shitty as we all looked and playing as badly as we played, and they sung about alienation, depression, loneliness… okay, that made sense, here was some rock music that spoke to the kids.  The male grunge bands didn’t have songs about getting their dick sucked, they had songs about being useless fuckups, and we dug it because we felt useless too, seeing someone like that have a hit made us feel slightly less so.  The female grunge bands just sounded fucked off and fucked up, like they were over feminism and over everything else too and just wanted you to go and die, and girls loved it because those girls also wanted you to go and die (or maybe it was just me).  The best one was Babes In Toyland who were legendary and never got the acclaim they deserved.

Hi sexiboi Kpoopu *~~ 8===D

It’s me again my bb. Did you really miss the reference at 3:18 on Weeekly’s remake of that crusty, old BEG song?

Yeah I saw the hand dance I just didn’t care.  It doesn’t count if it’s not to the correct music.

Will we see Oppar at Hallyupopfest Sydney in August?

No!  The Hallyupopfest people haven’t gotten back to me about free tix and it’s now only a week or so to the event so I think it’s safe to say that they don’t give a fuck about getting the only actual proper review that their event is probably ever going to get.  After kitty’s ass surgery there’s simply no way I can afford to go right now unless someone pays my way.

Was on the internet and stated on a “cringe” meme account dedicated to bashing straight people that we should try to foster more critical discussion on the issues women/lgbtq face instead of just one- sided resentment, and the replies were just atrocious. Why is it that people always resort to insults based on my physical appearance (calling me white, im not actually, pretty racist of them), or throw around some buzzword that has like a thousand different meanings (calling me “liberal”) instead of replying to the content of my argument? Like I just stated my points and they gave up on thinking. Lastly, how do I respond to these people? I called them out for being racist (calling me “white liberal”) and they backtracked out of satan’s ass, sloping down purgatory’s hills, and ejaculating miserably out of God’s left trachea before coming back to earth, saying it was “just a term”. These fuckers will really say anything to soundproof their beliefs

I feel your pain, very few people actually bother to engage with my supposedly controversial opinions at all, despite the fact that I have several places where they can do just that.  Instead I just get ad hominem and stupidity all the time.  Most of it I ignore unless I can find a way to make it amusing to myself somehow.  People talk a lot of shit on the Internet and love to make a fuss about the content I write and about how I’m so evil or whatever, but are quick to say “oh it was just a comment”, “it’s only the Internet” etc if you call them out.  It’s just noise.  It doesn’t mean anything.

What animal do you think Rupert murdoch most closely resembles? I’m thinking a terrapin.

I don’t even know what a terrapin is, but I wouldn’t insult some mystery creature I had never heard of by comparing it to Rupert Murdoch.  Mystery creature rights.

Hello Oppar,
I was wondering how you would rank and the Loona solo singles. I read all your blogs, so I know, obviously, New by Yves would be number 1. But I have no idea how you would rank, lets say, Kiss Later by Yeojin or Let me in by Haseul. I want to know the exact order you’d put them in.

Here is my ranking:
12. Around You By HyunJin – Boring
11. Vivid By HeeJin – Gets annoying after a while
10. Kiss Later by YeoJin – I love it but sounds cartoonish
9. Let me In by Haseul – Manages to be good without being boring
8. Everyday I need You by Vivi – Lacks vocally and the rap wasnt that great
7. Singing in the Rain by JinSoul – I like the doot doots
6. Love Cherry Motion by Choerry – built like a blackpink song, but also creepy with “ah ah ah”
5. One and Only by Go Won – Unique tap sound and good rap
4. Egoist by Olivia Hye – Fuck Olivia Hye, who ever the producer and EDM/DJ were on this track did a good job with the dubstep.
3. Heart Attack by Chuu – I don’t like the bass getting progressively high pitched when she says “Jeomjeom deo dugeundaeneun mam, jeonbu da julge Take my heart”
2. Eclipse by Kim Lip – This wasn’t on your top 100 songs of 2010s and I’m still angy. This song is like a dream. From verses, to chorus, to bridge. I don’t find it boring, I find it groovy.
1. New by Yves – Duh

Please, indulge me on how you’d tier them.

Best to worst… 1 > 3 > 10 … all the rest, any order I don’t give a fuck… > 8

Hey, have you experienced that thing where you look at a newly released MV on Youtube and all the comments are in Russian? At time of writing, I just watched saw the new HyunA and Xdinary Heroes songs and the comments were all Russian all the way down. Is it bots, some algorithm strangeness, or are Russians just really into late night song releases for their K-pops?

Russians are probably in a more beneficial timezone for k-pop releases than a lot of places.  I am as well, but Russians outnumber Australians so you’ll see more of them than of us.

how my pussy taste

Questionable.

favorite tony hawk game?

Never played any.  I think they came out on consoles only?  I don’t like console gaming.

This is sort of a two-part question.

1. I engage best with music when I’m focused on a particular genre which inspires me to keep checking out more of it. Before the pandemic, I listened to a bunch of musical theatre, but around COVID most new musicals stopped being staged (and most of the ones being staged right now are revivals or adaptations of things that are already “hits” and are seen as safer ways to gain back revenue than completely new material.) So there’s a shortage of exciting new songs from musicals right now.

After the pandemic, this genre became kpop. However, being so “focused” in my listening habits makes me feel like I’m not being cultured or open-minded enough in my listening (compared to many of my friends who seem more “eclectic.”) I feel really happy when I stumble across a non-kpop song I like because it makes me feel like I’m not an obsessed fan, but non-kpop also has a lower hit-miss ratio than kpop for me at the moment (and I don’t know as many blogs which cover specific genres I like.) I don’t even know what genres I prefer in general! Musicals are good, but so is rock, and pop, and some rap, and classical, etc. But looking at all new music from all those fields would leave me with no time. I don’t know if musical breadth is inherently a virtue, but it can at least keep things less boring. And if I just turn on the radio and wait, I find myself annoyed by a lot of the “easy listening” or “generic indie guitar stuff” I hear. Any recommendations on how to spice things up?

2. On that note, I used to not really like rap. Kpop is actually what changed my mind about that—I LOVE almost every Swervy song I’ve ever heard, but other Korean rap hasn’t really impacted me the same way. Do you have recommendations for people who write music similar to Swervy? I like Azaelia Banks’s “212” but none of her other stuff has really hit for me either. I also like but haven’t loved the KRS-One stuff I’ve heard.

I think what I tend to look for is a catchy instrumental and a charismatic flow, ideally from someone female, but that’s not crucial.

1. Not really.  I will try to help by continuing to drop in various non k-pop things into my posts occasionally.
2. I haven’t found anyone else doing stuff that really resembles Swervy.  Closest might be Jvcki Wai but she’s not as musically adventurous.

Last month someone mentioned that they’d been findng Gfriend’s songs kinda Japanese-sounding and you said they’d been “watching too much of that anime trash” – but I’ve also always found them Japanese-sounding (or rather anime-sounding). After a quick Google search, looks like other people think so as well. Do you agree with them?

No.  But you knew this because you’ve already kind of stated it in your question.

this is from 4 years ago but i still wanted to learn if it was caonima approved.

Yes.  Juice Media’s “honest government ads” are great.  Since more of my readers are American than Australian, here’s one relevant to you guys over in Abortion City, Gunsville.

Heya Oppar, got some issues to discuss.

1. I’m having bf for a month. With 13 hours difference. It’s FUCKING HARD to keep the schedule up since we’ve got only 7 am and 8 pm for 1 hour communication period. He’s pretty much kinda same as my ex (even the same ethnicity and liking, hell, he was a close friend with my ex before) Also with my BPD issue and his anxiety, shits just keep stirring.

Long-distance relationship: Checked.
Getting reminded of all fucked up moments most of the time since we were both close with my ex: Checked. (My ex was a good, great guy mostly, though he was a gigantic cunt for cheating.)
My constant fear of abandonment and mood swings, and his anxiety spikes issue: Checked.

Man, I love him but was it worth all the efforts? Maybe we should get back and treat our mental health properly before getting into a relationship? Or we can get our backs getting shit done with our health together? (talking about rose-tinted glasses lmao) It’s exhausting just to think about.

2. I’ve got a job as Motion Graphics Designer in some company about the same time as 1., it’s not that bad. At least I have a much better time with co-workers here compared to the past one. Enjoyed my job so far, but there’s a thing. I feel like I don’t have chemistry with my team, or quite frankly everyone in the company. Everything I did felt so awkward. Plus with my always-absent mind and chronic feelings of emptiness state thanks to my health, I’ve always surprised them with my clumsiness in a bad way. Not like a total shitshow but you know, I wished I could help them and “click” with them more. Now I’m working my ass off to keep my attention high and well spent. Any tips here?

PS. Back while reading Cheska’s interview, when you mention non-stop dancing practice and the “We don’t stop” song comes afterward. Such nice timing there I’ll give you that.

PPS. Black mamba died so fast wtf. aespa bunch of mary sues confirmed. 0/10 not enough Rachel reference

PPPS. The last qrimole, oh god. Now, kids don’t know who Henry is? Man, being 2nd gen fan hurts.

Thanks for listening oppar saranghae ❤

1. If you’re both fucked in the head support each other.  Mental health is hard work to handle but it’s easier when you’ve got company and nobody will understand you better or empathise with you more than someone else with mental health issues of their own.

2. I’ve been there before.  Make and save as much money as possible.  Eventually things will get easier and the problem will solve itself, or they won’t and you can look for another job if it bothers you too much… or just keep collecting the money.

Scientifically speaking, why is Eunha look so hot in this particular video

It must be the white that she’s wearing… oh wait, I think that’s just something white on my screen…

My relative, “Mrs. X”, married a man a few years ago, “Mr. Y”. Mrs. X is Asian and came to the U.S. only within the decade, and Mr. Y is white and a longtime American resident. She lives with him and her son from a prior relationship, and as hosting family is a big part of her culture, she invited me and my family once it became safe to do so.
When given a tour of the house, I immediately noticed some questionable iconography. A super prominent American flag on its own stand, hunting relics, a wooden cross, a flag used to represent conservative interests, very in the realm of redneck culture. I would have given Y the benefit of the doubt, but upon touring his garage, my eyes immediately drifted to a vintage German propaganda poster heavily related to “Sowon’s soldier boyfriend” (I don’t know if Google Forms has censors or not); he dismissed it by saying that he’s only prideful of his roots and heritage. Y’s house also displays the phrase “Gott mit uns”, a phrase heavily linked to both “historical Germany”, “new German socialist enthusiasts”, and new white supremacist movements.
I bear no knowledge of their relationship behind the scenes, and don’t intend to meddle, but I can’t help but get weird vibes from this. Considering the variety of articles that appear when searching “white supremacist Asian fetish”, and other family members noticing the change in Mrs. X’s personality and interests, it’s extremely easy to assume something is afoot. I don’t want to ask “what can I do”, but in your far-removed-from-American-bullshit-outsider’s-opinion, does the concern that this is weird have at least a little validity, or evidence at least?

Speaking of white things, “prideful of his roots and heritage” probably isn’t the best reason to have shit like that in one’s house if you’re a white guy.  Honestly I think being prideful of heritage, regardless of the actual heritage, is stupid anyway.  If you want to take pride in something, take pride in something that you actually achieved yourself, not something like race, which is beyond your control and just a circumstance of your birth.  Anyone who has lots of pride in achievements that they have absolutely no part in whatsoever, I consider that suspicious, I think you are right to be concerned.  What to do about it I’m unsure, but I’d resist the temptation to cause a scene or ostracise him, regardless of how justified that may be.  I would build a bridge but do it cautiously… and also be honest about how such things make you feel.  Who knows, with enough exposure to actual normal non-racist people he might come around to a more sensible way of thinking.  The last thing you want is for X to get under Y’s ideological grip completely, the way to stop that from happening is to keep the family ties open and keep the conversation going, otherwise they’ll shun you and go hang out with Z who is probably as Klan member or something.

As far as I know, Google forms doesn’t censor anything.  Feel free to test, readers!

Any good recommendations for a song you can feel nothing listening to? Not a boring song or a trash ballad, but something that might capture a sense of ennui, perhaps?

NewJeans works pretty well for that, for me.  Not sure if that’s a “good” recommendation or not, or even a recommendation at all, but it is what it is.

I’ve had recurring feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a general sense of futility toward my own existence for years, and I always blamed it on my diagnosed social anxiety, but I’m beginning to rethink the root of. Recently I had an episode that I wouldn’t call a “breakdown”, but was comprised of me feeling numb to everything on a sleepless night, and while I did cry (a typical way I tend to seek catharsis) I didn’t really feel the same kind of release from expressing sadness. Listening to music didn’t help, all I could really think of was how none of the songs that would make me feel something didn’t have any kind of effect. The morning after I moved incredibly slowly at various points (sometimes just sitting with a blank mind at awkward places in my kitchen), and instead of doing a sportball practice event that once brought me joy, I made myself vomit both to feel something and to find some way of escaping my anxieties/the event.
Combined with my hazy past of more self-induced vomiting and self harm, crying often, noticeably slow movement at times, and feelings of intense sadness and rumination for “no reason”, I think I’m seeing a vague pattern in the general direction of something kind of like depression. As I mentioned I have confirmed anxiety, but I don’t think it makes that much sense to explain these other feelings outside of social interaction.
I don’t really intend to hurt myself or die young, which seems pointless to me now (yay! my brain isn’t completely broken I guess!), but the sensations that I want to exist in a hole forever or be swallowed up by nothingness aren’t exactly amazing.
My question I guess is, what the fuck should I do, or even, what can I do? I’m questioning every moment I think I feel sad, or happy, or anything, and I feel both overwhelmed and nothing from thinking this, but I really feel lost right now.

See a doctor.  Seriously, why you people suffering massive symptoms of depression ask me this shit I don’t know, just stop asking some Australian asshole about these things and seek medical help.  It is completely not normal to suddenly lose the joy out of activities.  Something is very wrong.  And stop trying to self diagnose.  See a doctor, tell them everything about what’s going on.  Do it now.

I’M FREAKING OUT RN

is their any possibility that if a picture of my dick would get leaked online then my whole identity would get revealed??😭😭😭 (face not included)

I don’t think “penis ID” technology has advanced to the level of “Face ID” technology just yet.  You probably have at least another five years before you get caught.

lately when I remember about your opinion that the sparser (not sure of the correct word tho) the vocal in the songs the better, I realize why Mitski songs are so easy and so good to listen. Also can you recommend me a JAV to watch? R18.com hasn’t updated new film since June 1st, and I’m so desperate for one to fap. Outside R18 do you know any website to keep on updating with new JAV film?

There are a lot but not many legal ones.

This link might help explain what’s going on and also help you find some legal JAV sites.

I honestly don’t care if you never liked jonghyun music or I am coming across as those stereotypical fangirls but at least hear yourself out how many times are you going to mention his death as a joke to make a point just because your own loved one passed away in that manner you fucking twat for sulli you wrote a whole poem in her memory, you don’t write jokes about her for amber and Luna music.Just write song sucks and be done with that shit bloody incel mentality you have fostered listening to music catered to teens while being a grownup commenting on kids who are far younger than you

What a bunch of shit.  People have made exactly the same accusations about me “joking about Sulli” as they have with regards to me “joking about Jonghyun”, maybe you’ve forgotten about that but I sure haven’t.  How quickly people forget the stupid shit they accuse me of when it contradicts some new stupid shit they want to accuse me of.

Is aespa really as lacking in dancing and performance skills as everyone says? yeah they have negative stage presence but that’s the same for everyone else in kpop. They get criticism for their face expressions but can they actually get away with that when everything is scrutinized by choreographers? like sm would never allow a group to go out with an actual subpar performance right?

So clearly a lot of this is just jealous people hating on pretty girls but! i think some of it is true. I do think they’re way out of their league with that cringy concept and lore. It’s like when Loona started releasing shit tracks. They do their best but you can tell the concept does not fit. Am i correct or am i letting my opinion be swayed by mean comments?

K-pop performers generally don’t have stage presence, it’s not a requirement and is actually in some ways a negative atttribute.  Stage presence simply isn’t compatible with how k-pop stages are created, an idol with stage presence would actually actively interfere with the product and would in most cases be told to “rein it in”.

Hi mate,
I was curious about your reply in a previous Qrimole regarding content for idols (Specifically it was July 2022 regarding a video of Nayeon from TWICE doing stuff for her solo album). You mentioned fans lap it up and followed with this quote: “Fans really do feel at least subconsciously like they ‘own’ idols and have a stake in their personalities and thoughts, so the more you pander to that, the more you hook people in.”
I was wondering if you think that changes as Idols gain more experience. TWICE would seem to be JYPs big money makers ATM (THough Stray Kids and Itzy seem to be getting up there too) and this year their contracts expired/are being renewed (It would seem.). I believe TWICE’s contracts were supposed to expire in June/July, but it they seem to be coming across as still sticking together and continuing on, so I would assume they have re-upped heir contracts. Would an idol who does this, or a group of idols, have more power to make more demands in terms of what they do/don’t do publicly, or is it just a gamble on their part? Do you think that they had more of a say in what they do because they hold a larger fanbase, and therefore can use that to further branding and endorsements and thus make the company money?
I understand you can’t know for sure, but i thought it was worth an ask.

Generally speaking, in contract negotiation logic terms, a second contract is always going to be a better deal than the initial contract.  Assuming of course, that it IS actually a second contract and not just an “extension” of the previous arrangement where the same terms apply (Jessica talks about this in “Bright“).  You can never be sure with k-pop companies whether what you’re being told is actually the whole truth, they are generally not going to share with you anything that could be perceived negatively if they don’t have to.

Hello oppar! Not sure if this was already asked on CC but what’s your opinion on Paula Abdul’s music, especially songs like “Straight Up” & “Cold Hearted”?

I don’t give a fuck about it.  The main asset that Paula Abdul brought to the pop music world was her choreography, not her music.

You didn’t listen to Yukika’s last single “Scent”. So you listen to tons of weird Korean shit but ignore this masterpiece. You have lost the little respect I had for you.

It didn’t have a proper music video so I didn’t give a fuck.  If she’s not going to put in any effort, neither am I.

Someone on Reddit claimed that Asian Junkie was involved in circulating Ailee’s nudes back in the day. I quote: “Allkpop spread them first, posting on their website the censored pictures. And then the genius journalist asianjunkie spread the link to the uncensored pictures on his blog. He purged all of Ailee posts from that time from his blog.” Is this true?

My understanding was that he lost a bunch of his old posts in some kind of website crash, I remember that actually happening and him commenting on it at the time.  It wasn’t just the Ailee posts that he lost, it was every single post over a certain age, and this event happened years after Aileegate so I have no reason to believe it was related to that specifically.  If you check his site you’ll see the oldest post is 2015, Asian Junkie was posting for many years before then but all those old posts are gone.  You’ll also notice he lost all his old header images, I think that was related to the same crash incident.  I honestly don’t remember how he dealt with the Ailee pictures thing at the time, you would have to ask him about it.  I know that I personally did find the Ailee uncensored pictures from somewhere but I didn’t post them as-is, I modified them to serve the greater good. 

I don’t typically ask you questions that are of the “personal therapy” genre, but here goes: how the fuck do you (general you) work at a horrific job that is mentally draining, in which you face passive aggressive harassment on a daily basis and are literally ostracized by your coworkers, but which your superiors write off as “unsubstantiated,” where your entire department is unappreciated by said superiors, none of you have been properly trained so you’re all just winging it as you go, and everything is so tense and yet at the same time so dismissive you just want to unalive yourself so you don’t have to go in on Monday morning, and NOT go insane?

I work a gov’t job, and I’m miserable because of all the above reasons. I’ve essentially been bullied for a year, but my requests for help have been met with “what you say is happening is not happening.” I’d quit on the spot if I could, but I have an apartment and Dreamcatcher shit to buy. Plus if I stick with the job for a few more years, I can kiss my student loans bye bye. But man, it’s just making my depression so much worse, and I feel like I’m swimming against the current.

How do I deal?

*Sidenote: I am not going to unalive myself because of this. But I have had those thoughts, and even brought them to my superiors to explain my absences, which I’m working to improve. Their response was basically “Sorry about your luck but all we want is a body in the chair every day.”

I had a job like this many years ago, I dealt with it by quitting and getting a better job that wasn’t in the government!  Working in the government is shit.

How to stop caring about other peoples opinions However much I try to not care I am always thinking about people watching me from the back judging my every action How the hell do you learn to just not care about what they think

Ever since I was a child I was always ostracised and had difficulty dealing with other people in general, I sort of grew up just learning that nobody would ever like me, or see the world the way that I did, and that everyone would always disagree with me.  Of course those feelings turned out to not be true, but believing that this was the reality for the first large chunk of my life certainly mentally prepared me very well for the consequences of being an outsider later in life.  Having other people think I’m strange or dislike what I think just feels so normal that it doesn’t even touch the sides of my concern.  I couldn’t start caring about what other people thought even if I wanted to.

hello!

I wanted to get your thoughts on this song.

Other than the fact that I like this track, I am presenting it here because it has a lot of surface-level similarities to New by Yves from Loona which is a song you like I think. It has similar retro production (although The Weeknd’s song is more solidly 80s), similar lyrical themes of personal liberation (at least i think that’s what New is about, i don’t follow the Loonaverse stuff), and the same iii-vi-IV-I chord progression.

Personally, I enjoy The Weeknd’s song more as I vibe more with this style of production and because Daft Punk is my ultimate bias group, but New comes off as more intelligently written song with that unique rhythm of the chords and the melody’s construction. I’d almost certainly say New was the better song if I wasn’t a slave to modern disco and vocoders.

I like “New” a lot more than this, and it’s not just because I’m gay for Yves.  I don’t think The Weeknd’s song is terrible or anything but it’s just a bit plodding and not as exciting, although I agree there are some similarities.  “New” is faster, gets to the point quicker, and has more variety and dynamics in the instrumentation.

Hello Oppar! I mentioned a possible fashion class on alternative fashion , where I live alternative tends to refer to goth/punk clothing, which I feel like has been on the rise with GGs over the decade I’ve been watching kpop. So alternative shoes tend to refer to creepers, platform boots, etc. Sorry for the confusion! (Also I’m sorry ITZYs world tour is in only one country)

Thanks for this!  Okay, I know exactly what you mean now, my gf wears this type of stuff quite a lot.  However I still don’t think there’s quite enough of this type of look in k-pop to make a relevant post, at least not yet.

I live in a very conservative country, where heinous crime is very frequent and never dealt with (people have killed others for beimg told to wear a mask, or for road accident compensation being demanded of them). Im older than 18. I really wanna date and hookup with people, but in my country police and law enforcement are utter shit, girls get raped too easily, girls are splashed with corrosive acid, attacked, their photos edited into porn-y stuff which is circulated. And no girl expects justice when such shit happens. Plus even having a nornally dirty mind , being known to have a normal sex drive, even mentioning that you’re interested in dating soneday will get you labelled ‘spoiled’, ‘immoral’, ‘bad’, ‘lecherous’. Plus my parents are fucking psychopathically crazy surveillance state about this. I grew up believing I’m bad and sinful for even having romantic attraction to the opposute sex, let alone masturbating privately or having a sex drive (completely unforgiveable among them), because of them. Whenever I told them I had a crush, they’d immediately go ‘oh its normal, but most guys are use-and-throw types yadda yadda.’ I try to masturbate? Im dirty and they bang on my door to get me out.
Im nauve, i wanna date someone so desperately, god knows it boosts my mood and motivation. But im scared my parents will find out, and worse that I’ll end up a victim of crime – that I’ll be murdered , raped, disgraced publicy, disfigured. My paternal grandparents were murdered by their employee.

Sounds like moving out of home might be on the cards for you.  Maybe moving out of the country would be even better.  Perhaps you should research this.  Not sure what else to say… good luck?  Sounds like a shitty place to live, but if you’re over 18 I’d be using that independence in any way you can to improve your life.

this you?

No, not me.  This poor person really picked an unfortunate name didn’t they.  They should change it just for their own good so they don’t get cancelled by everybody they know. 

Are you a nudist/naturist?

No.  Clothes enhance fap.  Clothes are your friend.  Embrace clothes.  Kpopalyspe Fashion Class can help.

what’s your most famous post?

The post that went the most viral is Frenchface, which had 180k views in about 2 hours when it got to the front page of Reddit briefly.

The post with the most long-term traffic is “Big boobs in k-pop part 2” which has nearly half a million views, although that traffic is gradually being superceded by newer posts in the series.

K-pop fans are very woke until they think nobody is watching.

hi kpopa, i am only a high school but feel like i am missng out big time on how to live my life right. I feel like i need to earn som money, but then i feel like i need to look a certain way, i need to do this and that. yes this seems irrational but i look around and see my friends and acquaintances doing basic things being happy i cant seem tod o. eootokhae?

A secret: your friends are also miserable and thinking the exact same thoughts that you are.  They’re just a little better at pretending everything is okay on the outside.

If you want money a part time job will help.  High school is a great time to get part time work, you don’t have much expenses so you can spend some and save some money for important future shit, plus it’s easy to get part-time jobs when you’re young.

What’s the best way to tell apart Loona’s Yeojin and Haseul? When they’re side by side I’m usually fine, due to height difference and/or Haseul looking like Yeojin but with more angular features. But when it’s just one or the other, I find it very difficult to say with confidence which ones it is.

When Taeyeon starts the far-eyes militia to enforce far-eyes supremacy across the lands, she would hire Yeojin, but not Haseul.

Hi! not a question, but I wanted to thank you for replying to those audiophile/headphone quality/FLAC questions I sent a while ago. I learned a lot of things from your answers. And if I come across annoying audiophiles in the internet again I have good arguments to dismiss their bullshit and focus on enjoying my favorite Sheena Ringo songs, it’s a win/win. I actually screencapped a part of it and sent it to a guy that I’ve had a years long beef and kept judging music solely by those audio spectrum images (we’re cool now though). I feel like you do a pretty thankless job with this blog so a little bit of positivity and thankfulness won’t hurt methinks 💕

Cheers, thanks for your support!  Audiophiles suck!  I used to work with one who would spend hundreds on cables for his home stereo, and was convinced that Jennifer Rush’s “The Power Of Love” was the only pop song in the world with perfect mixing.  Clearly, he was insane as fucking shit.

So, back in the June QRIMOLE, someone asked a question that you didn’t answer because it was phrased weirdly. I don’t think they followed up on the question for July (and if they did then delete this I guess) so I will rephrase the question for them based on how I understand it (because I’m also kinda interested in this question):

Why do certain songs’ choruses consist of repeating the same section twice (e.g. Fromis_9 DM repeats the “Doesn’t matteeeer..” part 2 times) while others choose to have 2 distinct sections (e.g. Mago by GFriend which has the “My life is waiting for you…” part and the “Mago, mago…” part)? What’s the idea behind that?

I guess there were two different melodic ideas that the songwriters had, and they thought both would make a good chorus when stuck together.  Maybe it was always intended to be that way, or maybe they were trying to choose just one idea but couldn’t make a decision.  I’m all for an extra-long chorus if it’s good and it certainly does the trick in “Mago” to make the song more interesting than it would otherwise have been.

Hey there!

TL,DR: How does one get better at singing while playing the kinds of bass grooves you’d find in a modern pop/funk/disco song simultaneously?

So, I’d consider myself a technically competent singer, an above beginner bassist and a worse guitarist, but I find it much easier to play the guitar while singing compared to playing the bass while singing. I read somewhere that it’s because of the way bass rhythms are usually syncopated or whatever but I still wanted to improve.

Being someone who tends to not listen to many bands, I didn’t know any off the top of my head which had it’s bassist as a vocalist before recalling that new group JYP debuted last year with that absolutely terrible name and went to check if they had live footage I could study. Sure enough, I found this.

(for the sake of simplicity, the bassist is seen singing at 2:04, 2:35, 3:19, and all the other choruses)

I noticed though, that the bass of this song was pretty simple and, importantly, his vocal lines follow mostly the same rhythm as the bassline. The songwriting seems designed to make it easier for him to sing at the same time (or maybe that’s just how mainstream rock treats bass parts idk).

Is there a way to get better at performing specifically the kinds of songs with more “groovy” basslines more common in modern pop? (quick example, The Feels by Twice has a pretty easy and fun to play bassline but I can barely get past the intro if I try to sing at the same simultaneously without making a mistake)

Singing while playing at the same time is hard, because it’s an extra level of coordination that’s required to do bass and vocals together.  There’s a couple ways to make it easier, one is yes to have the vocal and the bassline match each other rhythmically and yes the song in this case is this way for exactly this reason.  The other way is to do something extraordinarily simple on the bass that doesn’t really require a lot of thought so you can just autopilot it while you do your singing – or vice versa, have a dead-simple vocal line over which you can do a complex bass part.  People who do both complex bass and complex vocals have usually just practiced the shit out of both individual parts so much that they can just stick them together, and they have great coordiantion to do that.  It’s actually really hard, I would also struggle with what you are struggling with.

You’re right about the Sara Jo song being in 9/8 as it is an extremely common time signature in Balkan folk music, which matters because pop songs sent to Eurovision usually tend to have some sneaky ethnic elements. I’m actually surprised to learn that 9/8 might sound unusual to non-Balkan people, bit of a culture shock! This along with recently learning that microtonality sounds noticably odd to Westerners really helped me realise just how differently music can be percieved depending on where you’re from and what music you grew up hearing.

Yes musical taste is often culturally determined.  what you are used to hearing as “normal” can be a reference point by which to parse everything else.

how to exercise cat who is getting fatter by the day? he eats (i dont have too much control over what amount of food he eat) a lot and is uninterested in any kind of stimulation.

Laser pointers work well, a cheapo $5 one from a bargain or convenience store will do nicely.  If that doesn’t work, your cat is just a born lazy chonker and there’s no hope.

Oppar do you have any tips for apartment hunting? Rent prices right now are ridiculously high and I live in one of the worst places (California). I don’t want to leave the state because my family abs friends all live here. I need to find a place in a major city as my degree is useless pretty much anywhere else.
I’ve been applying to a crap ton of places and almost never get a response, and when I do they suddenly tell me their rent is way more than advertised. I’m really not looking for much, i don’t have much stuff and would be fine with even a tiny room. I’ve also been unsuccessful finding anyone looking to be flatmates.
To make matters worse my go to reference for renting (previous landlord) passed away and now I have no one reasonable to use. I’m stressing about this pretty hard as my lease ends July 31st (so I’ll probably have something figured out by the time qrimole happens again lol) but I’d really appreciate any advice on this because I’m sure I’ll be moving again soon enough anyway.

Well anything I write here is probably a bit useless by now, hopefully you’re not homeless and can read this in comfort.

I always had terrible luck with this sort of thing.  I’m glad that I’m buying my own place now, even if it means I’m broke it’s still better than being in the rental market.  I think it’s a bit like going to a job interview, just try to convince them that you’re a good tenant, by being on time, being sharply dressed, clean looking etc.  If they’re advertising at once price but giving a different price as soon as they meet you, it might mean you’re not making a good impression in the flesh.  That could be something outside of your control (i.e racism/sexism/some other type of ism perhaps) but you might be able to mitigate the effects by presenting as “the ideal tenant”.

I fucking hate my mom. She wants to make me do sports in fucking school

I hate her too now but go on

because academic overachieving and creative talent and good behavior isn’t fucking enough, and her argument that “oh it taught your sister so much” is fucking rich considering she didn’t fucking do a sport at her shitty Catholic school either and hated the physical education requirement at her own school. She even bundled up me not wanting to do the sport I’ve done for 7 FUCKING YEARS ALREADY in my meaningless fucking existence as “something new it’s hard for her to accept” yeah mom I’m a fucking faggot and I’ve made my peace with it years before you denied my coming out, but you’re a religion pig full of dogshit and I wish you didn’t decide to have kids considering how you’ve liked to raise them like little dolls marching in a line exactly the way you want them to. She even made my panic attack/self-stabbing episode about “oh am I a bad mother hug me children because I am SUCH a bad mother give me emotional reassurance because I am a pretty delicate little flower”, fuck her, she fucking sucks. It takes every bit of my mental energy stopping myself from taking a pencil and stabbing myself a second time, or experimenting with jumping out a window or temporarily running away or tying a plastic bag around my head to see how suffocating feels like, as if I haven’t been suffocating in my mom’s cumulative brainfarts and pigshit since I was fucking born blue in the face.
Anyways, I badly want to just go to a gym by myself and keep my health up privately, but I’m a powerless minor in my country that can’t do shit. Is there any exercise alternative I could bring up in an argument against her position, because sports are fucking stupid as fuck and I don’t want to deal with that bullshit anymore if she truly cares about me “being healthy” and doesn’t just want to fucking control every aspect of my life? Thank you!

Jogging (not running races, just jogging) or cycling might work because they get you out of the house and travelling far away from where your mother is and keep you fit at the same time without involving the S-word. If she starts talking about you being fit just put on your jogging shoes and go for a run right then and there, or hop on your bike.  “I’m getting fit now, see you in an hour”.  That’ll keep you going until you can do the gym thing later, although consider buying some cheap gym stuff that you can use at home that doesn’t look like gym stuff.  Resistance bands are great, especially ones with door attachments, then you have a portable gym and can do a ton of exercises for upper body without having to buy bulky expensive weights.  Combine that with running to get a start.

Hello, Lord of Cunt!

1) How’s your tour going?

2) Maybe as another professional fapper you might help me.
Yesterday I was doing my usual fapping routine and managed to orgasm but, something really diferent happened. Instead of having the usual concentrated feeling in the genitals like a normal human being, this time I actually felt the orgasm sensation ALSO in the hand, wrist and distal portion of the forearm that I used to stimulate myself.
The most absurd thing was that the feeling didn’t went away, and I didn’t even went limp after climaxing, because I was still feeling the climax sensation in the wrist area. Just to be clear, I’m a man, so this type of thing is totally unnatural to my body perception. Even when I felt (subconciously, perhaps?) that the feeling wouldn’t go away if I kept touching my thing, I started to feel scared that I was actually misinterpreting a pain signal from my wrist and stopped before somehow I could hurt myself.
The experience was reeeeally amazing, but I wonder if I ever will have a chance to feel it ever again. Another thing, I don’t use any type of drugs (not even alcohol).
Have you ever know someone that ever had such weird experience? Or should I get some help cause I’m getting nuts? Please tell me what you think oppar!
Wish you a good month!!

1. Good!
2. I’ve never heard of this.  Yes, it’s true – something relating to fapping that I’ve never heard of!  I want to have a “wrist climax” too, that sounds great.  I wonder what playing guitar would be like with a continually climaxing wrist?

You’ve released the objectification survey already, there are no new survival shows for you to shit on, you’ve already released Try Not to Have Gay Sex With Yves 4, and it’s only July. What do we have to look forward to from you until your yearly best lists?

Lots of stuff.  Not in any specific order:

• Kpopalypse bias list
• Another Wonho computer game roundup
• Another AustralianSana podcast (I know it’s been a while but it’s coming)
• Another Honey Popcorn JAV roundup (JAV of the month for July is Moko Sakura in CAWD-401 btw)
• Sidebar Jiwoon link collection
• Some kind of Halloween fanfiction
• Some movie reviews (soon!)
• Stats post
• Christmas post
• Predictions for 2023
• Another survey
• Weekly roundups until Dec 10 probably
• Some other shit, I’ll see what I have time for

Thanks to all the readers who support what I do whether you donate on Patreon, share my articles, or just read every once in a while – I love you all (even the cunty ones) and will continue producing content for you to enjoy – or not! 

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That’s all for this month’s QRIMOLE!  This series will return next month!  In the meantime remember to stand up in the name of the God of heavy metal!

Oh, and do you have a question that you’d like to see answered in the next episode of QRIMOLE?  If so, use the question box below, or if no box appears, click the Qri on the sidebar to open the box as a separate webpage!  Kpopalypse will return!