Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 21/3/2022

Welcome to another Kpopalypse roundup!  Let’s check out some new releases!

Ex-Baby Boo and sometimes Rockit Girl collaborator Dayul (right, with Rockit Girl’s Leeseul who is also ex-Baby Boo left) talked about her old group getting sexually harrassed recently by “event staff”. People might be wondering how normal this is. Well, as it was “event staff” and not “the agency”, this likely means every girl group who ever worked with those staffers got exactly the same treatment. Multiply that by the amount of events that usually are put on per year by such event companies, and then multiply that again by the amount of people with that mindset who are probably working in those kinds of positions in Korea, and there’s your number. Do you still want to be a k-pop? No wonder these girls switched to the independent rock scene instead, where such creepy servitude is less tolerated (and there’s better music too ahem).

Red Velvet – Feel My Rhythm

Snatching Bach’s “Air On A G String” and using it as the basis for the song’s harmony and countermelody actually works, because it forces the songwriters into a very specific melodic template which they can’t really then break away from without wrecking the entire concept.  It prevents the “random tonality-switching melody syndrome” that plagues a lot of other Red Velvet tracks (and a lot of other latter-day SM material in general).

Stray Kids – Maniac

Stray Kids’ messy bullshit schizophrenic yelpy chanting crap music actually isn’t as bad as almost all other k-pop artists’ messy bullshit schizophrenic yelpy chanting crap music.  It seems someone involved with this group actually knows how to write songs, imagine what they could do with an actual good musical trend.

Solar – Honey

Not amazing but certainly the best solo Mamamoo member song in quite a while.  The video’s visual flair doesn’t help the song any, but it’s still nice to have Solar rocking every colour in the rainbow, one at a time.

NU’EST – Again

Apparently their official breakup song.  I guess they’re trying to make sure we miss them as little as possible, how nice of them to look after our emotional needs in this way.

Moonbin & Sanha – Who

Great sounds in places but it’s just soooo plodding.  Not quite my tempo.

Wei – Too Bad

This is more what I want to see speed-wise.  It’s still a little bland, but fast blandness is better than slow blandness because at least it’s over with quicker. 

Sunmi – Oh Sorry Ya

Definitely in the top 10% of comebacks in this (or any) week, which is typical for a Sunmi release – my only concern is, could it be plagiarised?

Highlight – Daydream

I actually stopped this video halfway through because a Rick Beato recommendation came up, and if I’m actually willingly listening to that boomer talk about his crap music taste instead of whatever’s happening in the k-pops right now, you know it’s desperate times musically.

Kihyun (Monsta X) – Voyager

Okay so it’s not going to blow anyone away apart from existing fans of this dude, but I do appreciate the rock influences gradually creeping back into pop.

PRSNT – Like a Butterfly

Who would have predicted ten years ago that one of Yoons would make the best music out of any 4Minute soloist and look the best out of all of them?  I don’t care if the guy’s Gibson has flashing lights on it though, it’s still a Gibson so it still sucks.

XG – Tippy Toes

If a group entirely made up of Japanese members, and under a Japanese agency, promotes their debut exclusively in Korea, does this mean they are a k-pop?  No less than a group of westerners who do the same, I suppose.  Either way, who cares because the song is boring.

TVXQ – Epitaph -for the future-

Epitaph for the future, hey.  Not sure if they’re referring to how Putin’s going to try to nuke us all into oblivion in a few months because when he was 15 his Ukranian girl-crush wouldn’t let him put his hand on her knee, but I’d like to think we could maybe turn up the guitars a little more than this for humanity’s final send-off.

Kim Junsu (JYJ and ex TVXQ) – Hana

Speaking of ongoing global conflicts, the other side of k-pop’s greatest unresolved schism is just doing some Latin bullshit which makes TVXQ’s entry sound like Metallica in 1986.  Guess I’m going to have to refer to TVXQ as “k-pop’s longest running duo” until the JYJ members learn.

Craxy – Trigger

Sorry, I don’t want to see any more Craxy videos that don’t have seven minutes of wacky drama footage tacked onto the end.  Call me spoiled, I guess it’s true, I don’t care.

Treasure – U

It sounds like someone just copy-pasted random bits of BTS songs together in a random order, gave it to the producer and said “get the boys to sing over that”.

Tempest – Find Me

Looking at them all looking happy and shit like loveable boys that you just can’t wait to get to know.  Over half of them probably voted for that new guy who just got into Korea’s presidency who thinks that women should go back to the kitchen and make him a sandwich.  Beware.

Taeyong ft. Suran – Lonely

Does Annie ever do a fucking double-take whenever she reads NCT Taeyong’s name because she misreads it as “Taeyeon” for a split second?  Because I sure do.  Anyway this video has Taeyong in it but no Taeyeon and no Suran either and that’s a problem.  At least do a Jay Park and give us a cardboard cutout ffs.

Rad Museum feat. Dean, Lee Hi – Off-Line

This song sucks dick hard, but I don’t want to be too mean to anything with Lee Hi in it because I just shed a tear of joy every time that I see her gainfully employed after spending all those years in the YG dungeon.  You go, get that mediocre limp fuzzy-jumper-wearing R&B swag, girl.

Lil Cherry feat. Rico Nasty – Catwalk

Okay, I actually like something from Lil Cherry.  2022 is shaping up to be one hell of a year.

Amber Liu – Done Thinking

At least we can reply on Amber to be consistently awful.  Is her new album really called “Z”?  I feel so sorry for her, she tries so hard to be as erudite as she can and now she’s gonna get cancelled in Ukraine just because she didn’t delay her comeback for two weeks to find out what Putin was going to draw on his civilian-shelling artillery.

Jibin, Lim Kim, Sumin – Soom

Lim Kim just needs to stop it.

The 8 – Hai Cheng

So does this clown.  I was so sad at 3:40 when the wave was just some pissy little splash by his feet and not a massive current that was going to suck him down to the center of the earth.

Kim Wooseok – What More I Can Do?

Why are you wearing a plushie you look like the creeps in my neighbourhood when I was young who loitered around the school oval.

Kawaguchi Yurina – Look At Me

Some Girls Planet 999 bullshit solo thing.  Fu Yaning goes up, and this doesn’t.

Jinny – Baby Love Me

Let’s just be friends.

James Reid ft. Jay B & ØZI – Hello 2.0 Legends Only

I can’t even pick on it, it’s too terrible.  Let’s just move on.

015B feat. Dawon – My March

Veteran readers will know that 015B can be good when they want to, but they just see fit to bore us to death most of the time for some reason.  Finally they perk it up and bit and whaddya know, the results are not too shabby, even if they left the guitars sounding weirdly dry.

Unboxing – Let’s Unbox

It’s good to see rock in Korea even when it’s not that special.  Yeah there’s nothing all that great about it but that’s one less ballad I have to sift through this week.

Nansae – Where Are We?

Bass player doing their best to save this meandering garbage.

Onjeon – Rainbow (City)

I dig the synths here because they remind me of Long:D and Summer Soul’s “Spacedog” and I can always use more of that sound in k-pop, even if it’s not even that specific sound but just kind of gives me the same feeling. 

Kwon Yeoreum – Nobody’s Fault

Now I know who’s buying all the discounted pink Fenders from my local music store.

Movning – Blooming You and I

The amount of shitty cruel puns I can make with a group name like “Movning” really doesn’t work in this group’s favour, so it’s good that they perked things up a little with a bit of drums and theremin soloing.

SSoliday – Moments

Groups will just call themselves anything won’t they.

Hanroro – Let Me Love My Youth

While I’d be more impressed if some Korean girl sang a song called “Let Me Love Being An Old Hag”, this softer reimagining of Radiohead’s “Creep” actually isn’t too bad.  Weird how we never get to see the front of the girl’s T-shirt through, but I think that’s because it says “UNSTAN BTS” and she didn’t want to get bullied into suicide just for having good fashion sense.

Tomiyo – Where Am I

The video might be lazy, but these cats are lazier.  mrcs

Sagong – Dear, Ann

It’s good.  Ballads can be good.  Now can people stop fucking asking me “can you tell me any ballads you actually like” over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and fucking over, thank you.  I already did this post, plus there’s at least one good ballad on pretty much every Kpopalypse best-of list, that should be enough information.  Cheers.

No.1 Korean feat. CaptainRock – Run

More like No.2 Korean.

Asian Boys, Crying – embraces 23 (a shitty love song)

Accurate song title of the week, how can anyone else compete?

Earring – Conveyor

Pretty cool, I think N.O.M are getting some of their visual cues from here.  Also, right when it slows down, it starts to fade out.  The right time.

Outsider – Shall we dance?

Hey it’s cool but maybe a little bit more bass frequency would have been nice, Outsider has been around long enough to know that you need some low-end response on a rap track, surely.

Noahjooda feat. Basick – Love over hip hop, money over love

A close second for accurate song title of the week, because it sure does sound like they didn’t put the music first in their list of priorities.

PO.U.RYU – Beside

You don’t look cute, you look like David Lynch’s “Rabbits” series, especially with the red curtain in the background.  Fuck that shit, you’re giving us nightmares.

TERRIBLE LYRICS ABOUT COFFEE SECTION

Thama feat. KimOki – København

Singing about “stacked coffee mugs”, holy shit.  Get lost.

Zisu – Pacify Me

“Love is like a caffeine drink in a convenience store”?  Swipe left on this chick folks.  I don’t care how pretty she looks, you’re eventually going to be trapped with just her and her music taste, and you’re not ready.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

BTOB Minhyuk & TWICE Nayeon – K-pop idol’s Silent Farting Know-how

Useful information, thank me later, as well as the caonima who sent this one in!

Momoland dance in PUBG Mobile

The mobile version of PUBG always seems to have far better quality content than the PC version.  Sure, we (fucking finally) got Blackpink skins on the PC version but mobile are way ahead of the game with the k-pops, plus far prettier cosmetics all round (this clip not the best example of that though).  By the way if you wanted to know how many Nancy perv videos I had to plough through to find this, the answer is “a number“.

Metallica – Master Of Puppets – cover by A-yeon

Lars Ulrich was never the greatest drummer technically, but his drumming style was easily THE most influential in the metal scene in the 1980s, to the point where every death metal drummer for a while nauseatingly copied his beat-two cymbal crashes and “mice running across the floorboards” bass drum hits.  Good to see A-yeon drumming to a much more authentic-sounding instrumental backing track too (sorry but that Slayer one was awful and had mistakes everywhere).


That’s all for this week!  Kpopalypse roundup will return next week, and in the meantime don’t forget that the latest Kpopalypse survey is now live, so do it if you haven’t!  Stay safe, caonimas!

12 thoughts on “Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 21/3/2022

  1. The first 5 entries are surprisingly positive, almost got me thinking that this is a good week for Kpop. And yes, once in a while the producers behind Red Velvet aren’t doing “too much” or “too little effort to come out with something audible”

      • True, I just wasn’t sure if you were saying silence is in the top 10% of releases this week or if you’d listened to it somewhere else.

        • Definitely the former. I was waiting for this snarky kpopalypse comment since the video dropped. Well worth the wait, though the song isn’t quite as memorable as Cage-sunbaenim’s classic piece.

  2. That Sunmi song review burned so hard my screen melted. I am so mad I missed the livestream. A-yeon’s drum cover was cool, too, thanks for the link. I wouldn’t mind more of a harder sound on the kpop scene even if it’s a bit main-streamy.

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