It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out some new releases!
NMIXX – O.O
A medley of three songs, pity that only the one in the middle is any good. Maybe on the album they’ll expand each song into full tracks and then we’ll have one pretty decent full length song and two other songs that suck dicks, which would be okay actually as I wouldn’t mind taking the good song and disregarding the other two, but as it’s presented here it’s as useless as any other waste-of-time medley ever created, which is all of them.
N.O.M – Look
I’ve always felt that industrial dance music like latter-day Skinny Puppy or Front Line Assembly was really cool, and only really had an image problem. Replacing the silly mohawks and fake-ass apocalyptic vibes with a whole lot of gayness works for me.
Rocket Punch – Chiquita
You kind of already know what you’re in for with a name like “Chiquita”, don’t you? Well, not really, as it happens. Fortunately something was lost in translation and we got a cool song instead of the “Latin” disaster we all feared.
Super Junior – Callin
Watch it just for the shots of Shindong sitting wistfully by the fireplace.
Salem Ilese with TXT feat. Alan Walker – PS5
Your gaming livestream does not make a music video. Future “I livestreamed it so it’s a video” MVs will be ineligible for roundup.
Apink – Red Carpet
Yes very boring and why is there only two of them. This isn’t Apink, this is me getting A-punked.
Apink – Nothing
The other song isn’t much better and the three girls are even mostly unrecognisable (I’m still trying to work out which girl dodged a bullet and wasn’t in either song). It’s easy to see why neither of these are the title track, and they’re the usual waste of my time that non-title tracks are.
Sorn – Sharp Objects
Sorn finally gets the chance to do something in a song for more than three seconds at a time, and it’s a winner, just like she is.
Billlie – GingaMingaYo (the strange world)
Similar in some ways but definitely more palatable than NMIXX’s disaster, Billlie continue to get things mostly right, just suffering from a weak chorus here.
CRAXY – Dance With God
As previously with Craxy’s songs, just skip straight past the forgettable song and check out the unintentionally hilarious drama video at the end. If they keep doing stuff like this I’m going to support them no matter how bad their songs are.
Donna – Stay Friends
Like her other song, if it was slower and less interesting.
fromis_9 – Escape Room
The underscore group trying to be Red Velvet trying to be S.E.S trying to be some crappy western 90s R&B shit, isn’t any good. Wow, would never have predicted tha_t.
T1419 – Run Up
At 1:04, did they really insert the noise that the demon from the original Doom game makes when you drop it with a shotgun? Because if so, I stan.
Soul:G – Fade Away
At the end of the video there’s that same alarm tone that plays at the start of Sandy’s awesome “Teen Swag“. Sandy should copyright that, even though I’m sure it’s not hers to copyright who cares, it would have stopped this song from existing, maybe.
Wonpil – Unpainted Canvas
Hey we’re in the recording studio, what do we really need…. guitar amps? Headphones? No, fuck that – what we need is a bed for the singer! Awesome idea. I can’t think of how much more I would have enjoyed studio work if I was allowed to take a quick nap in between takes.
Black Level – Infection
The vocals are weirdly quiet here, like a 1997 H.O.T track. Which would be fine if the backing track was any good.
Rothy – Believe
Cool how she’s playing a Fender Rhodes in the video but actually getting a piano sound out of it, which technically isn’t possible. Maybe she has the cure for shit music disease.
Tag – Social Life
When they write “self-composed song” in the title, as if to say “oooh, wow, he’s never done this before”, you know it’s going to sound like someone who’s never written a song before. Funny how that works.
Woosung – Hangover
There are no good songs, anywhere in the world, called “hangover”.
MSG Wannabe – Do you want to hear
Is this a parody of something, or supposed to be funny, I really don’t know. It’s boring anyway.
Daylotus – You
Cool image, but actually really bland musically.
DIH – Break Out
Another nice try but again, while heavy rock is welcome, you need to have a good song there first. This track’s one decent riff just isn’t enough to carry the rest.
Cacophony – volero.com
Cacophony being weird as shit, as usual. The piano playing is nice, but nothing much really happens musically.
3-0210 – Winter Rest
Warning sign: making coffee in the music video.
Rati – Deep Deep Love
If you want to know why all those self-appointed vocal experts in k-pop never liked 2NE1’s Bom, it’s because she sings like this woman here does. What, it doesn’t bother you? Me neither. Congratulations you’re not a vocal-obsessed idiot.
InCircle – Drawing
These people are all too pretty to be in a video with less than 500 views.
Crystal Tea – School girl bye bye
I’ve clearly watched too much JAV because I kept expecting her to walk into a room where some young man was diligently studying for exams and order him to take his cock out and start masturbating. Maybe it’s because she looks a bit like Ruka Inaba. Anyway the song’s not too bad and I really like her guitar actually.
Kang Min Seo – What-R-Ing
What the R-ing fuck is this boring crap.
Zingo – Closingment
When I graduated from Uni, I did that whole “wear the square hat and get the bit of paper” thing, and it was fucking dumb. I only did it so my mother could have a photo. The second time I graduated (for postgrad) I didn’t fucking bother, because Boram already had one photo – she didn’t need two.
Flospoon feat. AnTasWell, Arkay – Not long, but deep
If it’s not long, how can it go deep? Makes no sense, I’d leave him on read if I were you.
Komagens – Wrong Way
It’s been a while since we’ve had some good Korean reggae. I guess it will in fact be a while longer before we get some, because this isn’t it.
Hello Gloom – TV Star
Okay, who taught this guy English and told him the word “fuck” meant “primetime news casting” just for a joke, fess up.
Yeouldugazi Moment feat. MuHyunKwon – There
If you’re over the age of about eight, sparkles really aren’t that fucking fascinating. This woman must feel bad having to pretend to be such a stupid bitch for a music video, but I guess portraying women like they’re dumb airheaded cunts is what pays the bills in incel-laden Korea.
Band Yemin – Ravage
Just because it has “Band” in the group name doesn’t mean it’s going to rock, that’s for sure.
MiRae Lee – Space Signal
She looks like she’s in a cult. I’m afraid to watch this all the way through, who knows what shady religious group inserted their subliminal messages here.
ID:Earth – Home
Not bad for some shit I’ve never heard of except in roundup. Nice keys actually.
Choiza feat. Lee Juck, Ppk – Do What I Do
It’s 2022 and Choiza still sucks.
Oygli, Puff Daehee, Ugly Duck, Paloalto – Around Here
So do these clowns.
Summer Cake – Targetto
I don’t know why – but I’ve got no problems with people miming instruments as long as they’re standing up, but as soon as they’re sitting down it looks lame as fuck. I guess if you’re that lazy you can’t play your own song for real, at least get off the fucking stool you fucking slob.
Woody – Wherever
Cool to see Woody dancing among all the empty seats at his concert that nobody went to.
Suran feat. Dok2 – Devils in the City
I guess Dok2 wasn’t “riatch” enough to be in the video.
Bumkey – Incurable Disease
He’s talking about shit music disease obviously.
Na Hoon-A – Face Off
Oh my god. I was getting a bit depressed and wanting to wind roundup up early because I was thinking about the Russian/Ukrainian war probably more than is healthy but I’m glad I continued looking at songs long enough to find this video. Surely video of the year, this makes Craxy’s post-song drama epics look positively restrained. I think this guy is going to follow the lead of UN countries and donate 200 swords and 50 zombie skeleton demon spawn portals to the Ukranian war effort.
Yang Hee Na – Phlox Subulata
Sorry woman, there’s standards for these videos now. If you’re not serenading a zombie demon skeleton army I don’t wanna know.
RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
Kim Hyun Joong is getting married holy fuck
Gosh, good luck to him, let’s celebrate! I wonder who the lucky girl is. Whoever she is, I hope for her sake there’s no stairs or sharp-edged furniture in the new house! After all girls tend to get a bit clumsy about Kim Hyun Joong sometimes, it must be his charms making them nervous and then their legs get shaky and they trip and fall…
Drummer Subin – Treasure “Jikjin” drum cover
I guess those weird vocal noises might actually make it easier to drum to, given that they more closely resemble some random noise you’d store on a sample pad rather than an actual human singing.
Taeyeon – “Siren” recording behind the scenes
I’m sure you’ve all read the Taeyeon fashion class post by now, but this video might be useful for those of you asking about pop shields and vocal recording, because there’s some direct profile shots where you can see the way it’s used and the distances involved, note that this distance is for fairly quiet vocals though, a “belter” would stand farther back. Also, mrds
That’s all for this week – more Kpopalypse roundup next week!