Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 13/12/2021

It’s time for the final Kpopalypse roundup of 2021!  Let’s take a look at the last new releases, before the compilation of the best and worst lists for 2021!

Blackpink’s Lisa: “Blackpink are the revolution!” – H1-key’s Sitala: “Ahem, we’ll have none of that kind of thing around here thank you.”

NCT U – Universe

I’m digging the low chromatic riff that modulates like Doom M1E1 but everything else about the song is as annoying as the “tricks and traps” level.

NCT 127 – Earthquake

The other NCT song this week doesn’t even have a riff going for it.

Monsta X – You Problem

I don’t really like Bee Gees style disco and here we’ve got a fairly faithful recreation of it, so I don’t like this either.  I guess that really is a “me problem”.

ATEEZ – The Real

Great looking video, no song.

Minzy – Fantabulous

Better than solo Minzy efforts usually are because at least it’s competent enough on a production level, but this generic “latin” slop could have been sung by anybody, we didn’t need an ex-2NE1 member to dip their toes in this shit-pond.

Moonbyul ft. Mirani – G999

The reason why k-pop never took off overseas in the 1990s is it sounded like this.  If we’re going to go back to this style again you can kiss your Hallyu waves goodbye, we’ll go and follow indigenous Taiwanese pop or whatever.

Mino – Tang!

Oh, so ignoring the silly lyrics, it’s basically Mamamoo’s “Hip” at half speed.  I didn’t know there was a demand for that but I guess there must be.

FTISLAND – Unthinkable

At least they do their best to not make this ballad boring by overplaying the shit out of it.  It doesn’t work, but an attempt was made.

Ravi feat. Soyeon – Ani

I appreciate the pace here but was it really necessary to hard Autotune the lot of it?  Maybe Korea’s Nicholas Cage really is that bad of a singer.  Oh well, whatever gets the job done I guess, at least it probably made the audio engineer’s life easier, if nobody else’s.

Lucy – Rolling Rolling

This song doesn’t know whether it wants to be smooth R&B boredom or some jazz fusion wank-core. 

Super Junior D&E – Need U

I’m pretty sure those file thumbnails at the start are fake and that’s actually the contents of his IU folder.

JO1 – We Alright

These instructions are getting a bit too complicated for me to implement.

Voisper – This Is The Day

Voisper look like the most irritable cunts in the world.  Look at them barely even cracking a smile during photoshoots.  I guess if I was in a ballad group that was suddenly big and I couldn’t just quit I’d have a few unresolved anger issues also.

Sandeul – I Miss You

Okay, he’s singing to a bunch of weird animations on his coffee table.  The virtual thing has just gone too far now, stop the train I want to get off.

015B feat. Dongha – Good Luck to You

015b are capable of so much but they just do these horrible Whitney Houston style 80s ballads over and over now.

Lil Cherry – Pye Life

It concerns me that Lil Cherry obviously has money for videos but not for a music teacher.  Priorities, miss.

Cotino feat. Somme – Te Quiero

Visually different, but definitely musically just the same old.

Touched – Journey

A lot of effort seems to be put into the animation here, I’m just featuring this one only because I feel a little sorry for them.

Hello Gayoung – In the middle of sadness

Wow she plays 5-string bass guitar while having her morning beverage, just like me.  That’s the best way to get good folks – don’t make a big deal out of picking up your instrument, instead just incorporate playing into your daily activities.  She needs a bigger bass amp though – the new Fender amps are good but don’t buy anything smaller than the Rumble 40.

Jeong Yujin – Sunny Days

Only Korea could have beauty standards so extreme that face masks with transparent plastic over the mouth so you can see people’s pretty (or ugly) faces are standard.  They just won’t give themselves a break, will they.

1415 feat. Wonpil (Day6) – naps!

Jackson guitars are made for metal, you fuckhead.  If you’re not going to use it properly, send it to me and I’ll give it to someone who will, PO Box in the “about” section, thanks.

Touched – Hi Bully

This is what happens when you get bullied in school, you start a rock band and write songs about it to see if they’re paying attention.

Seong Hyunwoo – Run With Me

This guy gets a jacket and pretends its a person and waltzes with it, even though the song’s in 4/4.  Cancelled for incorrect time signature use.

Big King Travel feat. Omega Sapien, Mudd the student, Lil Cherry, Goldbuuda – Go Straight

That disapproving woman looking back at 1:40, we can all relate.

Reddy, Une – Film

As soon as Reddy isn’t teamed up with Swervy he sucks.  He probably quickly recorded this when she went up to the shops or something to let his hair down and get the “suck” out of his system before she came back and forced him to make proper music again.

Sook Haeng – You’re Perfect

Trot sure sounds weird with a sultry mellow voice instead of the usual over-excited pop style vocal.

Gaeko, Changmo, Don Millis, Los, DeVita, Sole, Since, Be’o – B.O.T.B

A very rare example of a rap collab where all the female parts are the worst sections.  They must have searched hard to find Korean female rappers willing to turn the song into shit just for their sections.

Jay Park, Park Hyeon Jin, Jmin, Big Naughty, pH-1, Trade L, Woodie Gochild, Jay B – Lotus

The regular Jay Park collab is just musically crap all the way through though.  Good to see him back in action though, Jay we missed you!

Code Kunst, Lee Chan Hyuk, Colde, sogumm – Cheers

Just no to this R&B trash.

PANTHEPACK – Shanghai Dream

Weird how Jackson Wang has the odd really good solo song but his group just can’t do anything even remotely decent.

Nicky – Pavlov

Her vocal pitch rolling up and down like a rollercoaster is really weird.  It’s a rap song, you can just chill and rap it.

Haha – Gap

Haha is one of the original Korean reggae dudes along with Skull, but you wouldn’t know it from this nonsense.

Haha – No Matter What

Or this.

Pinn – Hide And Seek

Something better to finish off the week.  Worth watching just for the intense drama video.

GARBAGE UNIVERSE APP SONG SECTION

WJSN – Let Me In

All

Monsta X – Kiss Or Death

these

The Boyz – Drink It

songs

Astro – Alive

are

AB6IX – Gemini

boring

CIX – Tesseract

filler

WEi – Starry Night

trash

Park Jihoon feat. Lee Hi – Call U Up

fuck

Kang Daniel feat. Loco – Outerspace

this fucking app, what a bunch of cunts keeping these songs from us when there was nothing even in them.  Or maybe they were doing us a favour.  Either way, fuck Universe and fuck these songs too.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

Dirty English with Velvet

Korean model, vtuber and Kpopalypse boobs-list favourite Velvet explains all those confusing sexual innuendos in western pop songs.  At least, that’s what I think she’s doing, I’ve got to admit I found it difficult to check.

Seoul Stars Yuna – First virtual K-pop star NFT

We’ve had AI performers in k-pop and now NFTs, looks like someone is now trying to combine them.  “Take the world by storm” I don’t think so though, they’ll at least need better art quality than that one drab picture with different outfits.  Mind you when I look at some of the super low quality NFT art that people do actually buy, maybe they’re actually right on the money.

Chuu Can Do It – Who wants to go luxury shopping with Chuu? (ft. FreeZia)

At 2:14 Chuu finds out she’s getting help with clothes styling, and immediately “is she pretty?” – good to see the lesbian dogwhistle in full effect.


That’s all for this post!  Roundup is now finished for 2021!

Schedule of upcoming posts:

  • December 15th – end of year survey/clearing house collection, will stay active until the 27th
  • December 25th – Christmas song roundup
  • December 27th – honourable and dishonourable mentions for 2021
  • December 29th – clearing house post (songs missed during the year)
  • December 31st – 30 worst songs of 2021
  • December 31st – 30 favourite songs of 2021
  • January 10th – roundup begins again for 2022

9 thoughts on “Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 13/12/2021

  1. Ah, so the year comes to an end with a wispy whimper instead of a real thud, but I’m guessing that’s actually a GOOD thing. >__>

    Agreed with just about all your reviews for this segment **except** Sook Haeng (hey, I LIKE hearing a woman with a real, well,….. “womanly” voice singing trot! Hope she does more!) and WJSN’s Let Me In (To Your World) – because I’ve been a sucker for them since I first heard MoMoMo and Catch me. I liked Let Me In even before I saw the MV!
    ^__^
    (And side note to the Ravi thing – any song titled “Ani” — which is the less-formal way to say “No” — should be a dead giveaway…..)

    Here’s hoping NEXT year gets better musically for both GGs and BGs –
    Goddess knows we could really use it!

Leave a reply, cao ni ma

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.