It’s time for the final Kpopalypse roundup of 2021! Let’s take a look at the last new releases, before the compilation of the best and worst lists for 2021!
NCT U – Universe
NCT 127 – Earthquake
The other NCT song this week doesn’t even have a riff going for it.
Monsta X – You Problem
I don’t really like Bee Gees style disco and here we’ve got a fairly faithful recreation of it, so I don’t like this either. I guess that really is a “me problem”.
ATEEZ – The Real
Great looking video, no song.
Minzy – Fantabulous
Better than solo Minzy efforts usually are because at least it’s competent enough on a production level, but this generic “latin” slop could have been sung by anybody, we didn’t need an ex-2NE1 member to dip their toes in this shit-pond.
Moonbyul ft. Mirani – G999
The reason why k-pop never took off overseas in the 1990s is it sounded like this. If we’re going to go back to this style again you can kiss your Hallyu waves goodbye, we’ll go and follow indigenous Taiwanese pop or whatever.
Mino – Tang!
Oh, so ignoring the silly lyrics, it’s basically Mamamoo’s “Hip” at half speed. I didn’t know there was a demand for that but I guess there must be.
FTISLAND – Unthinkable
At least they do their best to not make this ballad boring by overplaying the shit out of it. It doesn’t work, but an attempt was made.
Ravi feat. Soyeon – Ani
I appreciate the pace here but was it really necessary to hard Autotune the lot of it? Maybe Korea’s Nicholas Cage really is that bad of a singer. Oh well, whatever gets the job done I guess, at least it probably made the audio engineer’s life easier, if nobody else’s.
Lucy – Rolling Rolling
This song doesn’t know whether it wants to be smooth R&B boredom or some jazz fusion wank-core.
Super Junior D&E – Need U
I’m pretty sure those file thumbnails at the start are fake and that’s actually the contents of his IU folder.
JO1 – We Alright
These instructions are getting a bit too complicated for me to implement.
Voisper – This Is The Day
Voisper look like the most irritable cunts in the world. Look at them barely even cracking a smile during photoshoots. I guess if I was in a ballad group that was suddenly big and I couldn’t just quit I’d have a few unresolved anger issues also.
Sandeul – I Miss You
Okay, he’s singing to a bunch of weird animations on his coffee table. The virtual thing has just gone too far now, stop the train I want to get off.
015B feat. Dongha – Good Luck to You
015b are capable of so much but they just do these horrible Whitney Houston style 80s ballads over and over now.
Lil Cherry – Pye Life
It concerns me that Lil Cherry obviously has money for videos but not for a music teacher. Priorities, miss.
Cotino feat. Somme – Te Quiero
Visually different, but definitely musically just the same old.
Touched – Journey
A lot of effort seems to be put into the animation here, I’m just featuring this one only because I feel a little sorry for them.
Hello Gayoung – In the middle of sadness
Wow she plays 5-string bass guitar while having her morning beverage, just like me. That’s the best way to get good folks – don’t make a big deal out of picking up your instrument, instead just incorporate playing into your daily activities. She needs a bigger bass amp though – the new Fender amps are good but don’t buy anything smaller than the Rumble 40.
Jeong Yujin – Sunny Days
Only Korea could have beauty standards so extreme that face masks with transparent plastic over the mouth so you can see people’s pretty (or ugly) faces are standard. They just won’t give themselves a break, will they.
1415 feat. Wonpil (Day6) – naps!
Jackson guitars are made for metal, you fuckhead. If you’re not going to use it properly, send it to me and I’ll give it to someone who will, PO Box in the “about” section, thanks.
Touched – Hi Bully
This is what happens when you get bullied in school, you start a rock band and write songs about it to see if they’re paying attention.
Seong Hyunwoo – Run With Me
This guy gets a jacket and pretends its a person and waltzes with it, even though the song’s in 4/4. Cancelled for incorrect time signature use.
Big King Travel feat. Omega Sapien, Mudd the student, Lil Cherry, Goldbuuda – Go Straight
That disapproving woman looking back at 1:40, we can all relate.
Reddy, Une – Film
As soon as Reddy isn’t teamed up with Swervy he sucks. He probably quickly recorded this when she went up to the shops or something to let his hair down and get the “suck” out of his system before she came back and forced him to make proper music again.
Sook Haeng – You’re Perfect
Trot sure sounds weird with a sultry mellow voice instead of the usual over-excited pop style vocal.
Gaeko, Changmo, Don Millis, Los, DeVita, Sole, Since, Be’o – B.O.T.B
A very rare example of a rap collab where all the female parts are the worst sections. They must have searched hard to find Korean female rappers willing to turn the song into shit just for their sections.
Jay Park, Park Hyeon Jin, Jmin, Big Naughty, pH-1, Trade L, Woodie Gochild, Jay B – Lotus
The regular Jay Park collab is just musically crap all the way through though. Good to see him back in action though, Jay we missed you!
Code Kunst, Lee Chan Hyuk, Colde, sogumm – Cheers
Just no to this R&B trash.
PANTHEPACK – Shanghai Dream
Weird how Jackson Wang has the odd really good solo song but his group just can’t do anything even remotely decent.
Nicky – Pavlov
Her vocal pitch rolling up and down like a rollercoaster is really weird. It’s a rap song, you can just chill and rap it.
Haha – Gap
Haha is one of the original Korean reggae dudes along with Skull, but you wouldn’t know it from this nonsense.
Haha – No Matter What
Pinn – Hide And Seek
Something better to finish off the week. Worth watching just for the intense drama video.
GARBAGE UNIVERSE APP SONG SECTION
WJSN – Let Me In
Monsta X – Kiss Or Death
The Boyz – Drink It
Astro – Alive
AB6IX – Gemini
CIX – Tesseract
WEi – Starry Night
Park Jihoon feat. Lee Hi – Call U Up
Kang Daniel feat. Loco – Outerspace
this fucking app, what a bunch of cunts keeping these songs from us when there was nothing even in them. Or maybe they were doing us a favour. Either way, fuck Universe and fuck these songs too.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
Dirty English with Velvet
Korean model, vtuber and Kpopalypse boobs-list favourite Velvet explains all those confusing sexual innuendos in western pop songs. At least, that’s what I think she’s doing, I’ve got to admit I found it difficult to check.
Seoul Stars Yuna – First virtual K-pop star NFT
We’ve had AI performers in k-pop and now NFTs, looks like someone is now trying to combine them. “Take the world by storm” I don’t think so though, they’ll at least need better art quality than that one drab picture with different outfits. Mind you when I look at some of the super low quality NFT art that people do actually buy, maybe they’re actually right on the money.
Chuu Can Do It – Who wants to go luxury shopping with Chuu? (ft. FreeZia)
At 2:14 Chuu finds out she’s getting help with clothes styling, and immediately “is she pretty?” – good to see the lesbian dogwhistle in full effect.
That’s all for this post! Roundup is now finished for 2021!
Schedule of upcoming posts:
- December 15th – end of year survey/clearing house collection, will stay active until the 27th
- December 25th – Christmas song roundup
- December 27th – honourable and dishonourable mentions for 2021
- December 29th – clearing house post (songs missed during the year)
- December 31st – 30 worst songs of 2021
- December 31st – 30 favourite songs of 2021
- January 10th – roundup begins again for 2022