It’s time for the last QRIMOLE of 2021!  Let’s take a look at the final questions for Kpopalypse this year!

Hey Kpopalypse

Christmas is coming up, hence my questions. I sent them know because they’ll be late for Christmas otherwise. You can answer them later.

1. I’ve heard a lot of BS about “the christmas cord’ in christmas pop songs. I don’t care about its existence, but I noticed the following. I was listening to christmas songs in my (second) native language recently and I found those to be more uplifting. When I listen to English christmas songs , they come off as dreary. I aknowledge it depends on the arrangement but could it possibly be because of that overused cord progression?

2. This year will be the third Christmas without the family gathering. I’m not into celebrating the holidays in an outlandish fashion ( Christmas is traditionally a day of Lent in my dad’s culture ) but I do miss coming together. As I will be in full exam preparations, I’m not sure whether I’ll have the energy to facetime or call my relatives on Christmas Eve. Can you give me some encouragement? The Covid situation here is worsening so I do have to do things like that instead of gathering for a nice meal.

Hope you enjoy the holidays

1. There is one bullshit video out there about the “christmas chord” but they do a horrible job of actually explaining anything about it, their explanation pretty much amounts to “it sounds like christmas because of this one chord that reminds me of christmas things because it sounds like christmas” which is circular logic to rival any organised religion.  A better explanation of what makes a Christmas song (and one which specifically debunks the linked video) is here:
2. Personally I’d prefer to do Christmas remotely rather than super long get-togethers.  I’m very antisocial so while I do appreciate the hospitality and the food, any event that involves a super long drawn out dinner is like an eternity to me.  It’d be way better to just have everyone else on some computer screen that I could window while I do other stuff and duck in and out of the conversation.  I wish I had your dilemma instead.  Good luck.

Seeing KPOP artists put out shit music while still having their albums sell like hotcakes, do you think T-ARA would have had a worse discography if they were not pressured to churn out good title tracks against public scrutiny?

I don’t think it would have made much difference.  They had mostly good tracks before any scandal.  They had mostly good tracks after any scandal.  Overall, the impact on the scandal on all aspects of T-ara has always been overestimated.  It made a lot of noise in the media and shitty gossip sites but actually changed very little on the ground.

Hi Mr. Kpopperlips,

After quitting kpop for about 4 years, I recently got back into it and also back into reading your blog, which I had enjoyed before. One post I did not see at the time was the one about T-Ara’s infamously epilepsy-inducing video editing. In it, you shared a video I had made – “Counting cuts & transitions in T-ARA’s Sugar Free MV ver.1”.

However Sugar Free wasn’t your choice for T-Ara’s most egregious video – that honor rightfully went to the Day by Day dance version for its incessant use of the random stobe lights. BUT! Did you know there was flash-free version of that same video? That’s right, I made that too shortly after the other video, however I’ve never shared it anywhere so I assume you haven’t seen it. Enjoy! Yes the framerate is absolute dogshit due to all the missing flashes that had to be cut out but I think it’s still a better watch than the original.

Speaking of T-Ara, since they’re back on the scene and to lead this into an actual question, word on the street is they’ve fronted the money for their comeback themselves – now I don’t know to which extent or if this is true at all, but assuming they did, what do you think their business plan is? I don’t really see them promoting and we all know music doesn’t pay for itself anyways. I mean I know about the general kpop business model of selling personalities, but that usually assumes an agency actively promoting said personalities. AFAIK T-Ara aren’t even signed to an agency. Are they just gonna faceplant horribly or is this some kind of philanthropic hobby project they’re doing?

On the topic of business, I often wonder about the sheer number of kpop groups debuting and inevitably failing. Is there really such a pronounced need for money laundering opportunities or what’s going on here? I just can’t imagine thinking “Yeah, let’s start a new venture in this grossly oversaturated market, that seems like a sound business idea!”

Thanks for getting in touch!  I’ve always loved that “counting cuts” video, such a great idea.  I didn’t know about the other video – thank you for sharing the Day By Day video!  Now I can finally watch that video all the way through for the first time, with the flashing gone now there’s just the light-speed cutting to worry about.

If I were to guess I’d say that the T-ara members make most of their money these days being “influencers” and getting the group back together is just a nice little side-hustle for them and a way to say thanks to the fans.

“What’s going on” with all the debuts, I’ll answer in a future post, because this touches on some other areas people have asked me to cover as well.  Remind me by about March if I haven’t done this yet.

I understand that kpop has to produce a lot to keep up, and they work with a steady flow of songwriters/producers to keep things going and make around 2 EPs a year.

The thing I don’t understand is what’s going on with one of my favorite indie bands. They’ve been putting out an insane amount of music consistently for the past 5 years, and the only songwriters are in the band. Do they just really like writing music? How the fuck do you not run out of ideas?
They’re not churning out shit just to get it out either.
It seems kinda crazy seeing a group doing this without contract pressure like in kpop. They don’t do covers either.

the frontwoman is named Adrienne, for reference. In 2014, she put out 3 EPs.
In 2016, she formed a band -Big Thief- and put out an album.
In 2017, the band created another album.
2018 Adrienne has another solo album. Also in 2018 another one of the band members, Buck, created his first solo album.
2019 Big Thief releases 2(!!) albums.
2020 Adrienne created another solo album + an ep with instrumentals.
2021 Buck puts out another solo album.
Now Big Thief is planning to drop a 20 song double album in early 2022.

Up until 2020 they had a pretty heavy tour schedule too. I’m just sort of dumbfounded at this amount of effort.

This isn’t unprecedented for independent groups who are highly creative and who control their own release schedule.  If they’ve got a model where it doesn’t cost them that much to put something out (like a really good home studio and online platforms) then they can just keep going and going.  When I was running my own label I was releasing albums of my own each year AND multiple albums of other people’s stuff.  People tend to treat music as some mystical thing like “you can’t force the creative process” but actually you can.  That’s the benefit of music theory knowledge (formal or otherwise), it allows you a methodology to create that you can fall back on when your intuitive resources fail you.

So I write poetry and my own revelations that I find inspirational and helpful. I’ve submitted my stuff many times to a poetry website and once to my college magazine, but it didn’t get selected. And I have enough realistic self – awareness to know that my themes were fine and my language and figures of speech were evocative. But the college mag only printed poems with somewhat simpler themes than mine having rather unevocative and uncreative writing. I think my language was too convoluted so that’s why it wouldn’t be appealing to many who want more to – the – point writing. What do you think about this? I’d like to post my stuff on social media and some reputable poetry magazine/contest. How do I stop my stuff from being stolen / plagiarised ? And since both writing and music are glamour industries, any advice on what a complete
shut – in nugu like me with no knowledge of what to do can do to get some recognition in this field ? For example one of my poems was about the narrow mindedness and superficiality of society, and how small acts/ moments of kindness and genuineness and relaxation make this world beautiful (cliche I know, but not at all any worse than the themes the college mag published, and I sent what I thought had the most universal relevance). Should I pick up the typical as fuck social issues everyone writes about or should I stick to what I think is relevant? And by the way I have a million times better themes to write about now like loss of any motivation, stagnation and being a general failure, desperate and very unhealthy need to be validated and competent and the realisation that fixed it etc.

Maybe it’s time to submit your stuff to different places.  You already know that what you do isn’t quite what they’re looking for – so why flog a dead horse?  I’m sure there are other places out there that might be more into what you’re doing.  Or failing that, just investigate publishing it yourself, that’s pretty easy to do in these online days.  There would probably be forums and places like that you could join as well I’m sure.  I know very little about poetry communities online but I’m sure there has to be something like that which you could probably use as a platform to meet people that could be interested or could help.

While scouring the vast shallows of ze intarwebz for some words of wisdom regarding the theory of music and its production, I had stubmeld over your esteemed Kpopalypse blog already some time ago. After several months of browsing, reading, listening and lurking down yonder in the vein hope something exciting might tickle my musical taste ranging from K/DA to KMFDM, the time has come for me to finally rub QRI’s mole.

I am no musician by any stretch of the word: I can barely decipher notes and being plagued by two left hands with five thumbs each I certainly can not play any kind of instrument beyond the occasional whistling. But I live in the delusion of being a greybeard who at
least understands the physical and mathematical theory behind signals, sounds and musics. Furthermore I am not afraid to twiddle the frobnitzim and bits and bytes that make up MIDI.

But as you certainly know, theory and practice agree in theory only.
In practice they differ.

And this poses a bit of a practical problem to me. As a case in point I am linking to one of my latest synthetic concoctions (link not for the faint of heart)

The beat is fairly standard, the chord progression trivial, the melody absent and the mix nothing to get excited about — no use of compression, double tracking or side-channelling whatsoever. I even had to virtually kidnap some young ladies and force them to hop and wiggle around at 122bpm to distract the critical mind from what’s really going on and make the whole shebang at least somewhat palatable.

To make a long story short: I am not quite happy yet with what there is. But whenever I try to improve whatever there is, the result sounds even less convincing to my critical ears. I am stuck. But when I tried fishing for some constructive criticism by showing off my chef
d’oeuvre to my musically inclined friends and acquaintances, their replies did not go beyond the monosyllabic “Wow!”, “Nice!” or “Erhm?!?”

So, I am quite at a loss on how to proceed from here other than giving up my current job and take classes in composition, sound engineering and music production — which is not really a realistic option for the time being.

The question for the musical genie that hopefully appears when rubbing aforementioned mole is thus:

How and where can someone like the hobbyist me, who has no intention at all to go professional or go ever on stage with his music, find and garner some continued critical and actually helpful feedback from which he could learn and improve over time?

With great many aTdHvAaNnKcSe and best regards from the other end of the world.

Track is nice but ‘melody absent’ is the issue – it needs a topline (vocals or something else performing a vocal-like function).  So if you want to work on stuff, work on your toplining ability – an essential skill that almost all people making electronic music completely, almost pathologically neglect.  People love to make beats and experiment with sounds, but writing vocal melodies generally brings out the hesitancy in almost everyone.  Mastering this will take what you’re doing to the next level.

I wouldn’t really know where to go for other more general feedback but I’m sure there are forums and communities for songwriters and producers out there who would be happy to pick things apart and give you more feedback.  I never learned online, the entire online audio engineering world simply didn’t exist back when I was learning, so I’m probably not much help here.

I’m an aspiring producer who wants to make good dancepop music. What are the basics I could learn to go onwards the path of creating songs as good as T-ARA title tracks?

1. Learn to topline over harmonies/backings
2. See 1
3. all of the above

Seriously, by far the most neglected AND the most important aspect of songwriting.  You’ll find plenty of advice about the other stuff.  My music theory posts will help!  Here’s one that is very relevant.  More on the way, eventually.

How does concept rotation actually works /in/ girl groups?

I mean, before debut, each of them had some kind of image, what do she want to perform/achieve. Like one girl do really like ballads, another one – dancing, and best for third one would be hard-rock album. Of course, they won’t get all of it at instant, but what management actually do with these silent requests? Or is it more important the asian thing “shut up and do what I say”?

If none of girls will get what she actually wanted it would be doomed group, I suppose

Here’s how it works.  A bunch of people at the agency who make decisions (any number between one and several) get together in a room and go “gosh, I wonder what would make the most money”.  They think about it for a while, and consider all the factors, like who looks the best as a solo performer, who looks best fronting a group, who could probably carry a microphone around without shitting themselves, who can dance a bit better than the others, who might the public fall in love with easiest, who might look good in a TV commercial etc, then they draw up a plan for that.  Then they go to the staff, whether those staff be the performers, support staff, coaches etc, and say “here’s what we’re doing, and here’s your role in this, go and do this now, so we can get money”.

I have been converted into being a Wonho enjoyer thanks to you recommending that excessive lpsg thread so I have a question about him. I’m not a big fan of his new song Blue but I could see the appeal of a cuter song from him especially as in terms of the kpop sexy scale he’s more on the teddy bear side than Gain. But I’m also a fan of when Wonho gets his thot on especially in his songs and Blue was as sexless as you can get. So I’m conflicted.

One of the best things on the lspg thread was a comment when Blue came out and some rando said that Wonho should make a song like Hyuna’s Red. I think they meant that there’s a lot of sexy Hyunaisms in that song but it’s also fun and energetic and is all about how Hyuna is hot and you wanna stick your dick in Hyuna and that makes her awesome. Would Wonho fit a song like that? Are his handlers even planning on using his sex appeal in his songs rather than just on Instagram?

What’s with the lack of fun sexy songs instead of sex songs that act like the decision to get your dick and/or tits sucked is most torturous heaven and hell decision? Should I blame twitter for this? Will this trend end? What corporate asshole came up with it? Is the dark sexy trend endurance music related? Why can male thot concepts come in bright colours instead of black pvc leather that might have been fap-worthy once but is positively boner killing when that’s all you see? Will the Wonho LPSG thread ever stop having arguments about whether or not he’s gay every five pages as if they have a chance with him and get back to just posting gifs of his workout routine? Also to be a hypocrite, is there any gay hentai games to fill the next Erotic Games list because Holland was seen for the first time in ages at the Wonho concert and all that not dropping a song in two years stuff has got to have been hard on him if you know what I mean. Favourite series by the by never thought I could care so much about a balloon titted anime girl in the workplace.

Question questions question Mr Polyse

Who says Kpopalypse isn’t a force for good.

Korea is a conservative country and in places like that sex is deeply wrapped up in shame, in a lot of cases.  It takes a Hyuna-type person to break through that.  Wonho might be that person, he could do it for sure, I reckon at some point he might take a leaf out of the book of N.O.M who seemed to have kind of what you’re looking for with “Mega Punch”:

It’s just a matter of time I think.

As I don’t have infinite funds to spend on computer games I tend to restrict my buying to ones which fit my sexuality, however the most recent Wonho game roundup did feature a game which has a toggleable yaoi option so you could investigate that if you wanted.

What is noise music in kpop

It isn’t.

Seriously nothing in k-pop right now even comes close to what noise music actually is.  Anyone you hear complaining about “noise music” in any k-pop song is deluded.

1. wtf actually is city pop? pop just done by Japanese people with some jazzy elements?

2. aside from abba and kara, are there any pop (or kpop) groups with a similar style?

3. why do men (obligatory #NotAllMen) hate sluts so much? but also want to have sex with them and demand women have sex with them
why are men scared of women who have “high body counts”??? it seems so random to me. Isn’t flattering that someone who has experienced a lot of sex likes having it with you?
It also seems they would be easier to get it on with since they would know their body better. I could understand in like Neolithic or something there would be issues with paternity but that’s…not a thing anymore. But it doesn’t seem like guys’ in western media are changing to adapt to modern culture, where it is more acceptable for women to have casual sex.

1. This term ‘city pop’ doesn’t really mean anything but whenever something has some 80s kind of beats plus some 70s kind of funk guitar, then people tend to give it the “city pop” tag – but only if it’s made by Asians of course, because like a lot of genre labels especially when applied to music initially coming out of Japan “city pop” is really about racism.  Nobody was calling this music “city pop” back when white people were doing it decades ago, back then it was just ‘new wave/disco’, but of course now it’s all about fetishising “those crazy Japanese gosh they’re so wacky” and giving the thing they’re doing some fresh marketability so we need a new name, apparently, because gosh we’re so hip and we listen to this cool genre nobody has heard of, it couldn’t really be old, untrendy music in disguise oh gosh no.
2. T-ara had the ultimate ABBA clone song in all of k-pop if you ask me
3. I think there’s some macho thing that goes on with some guys where they think they’re the “conqueror of pussy” or whatever, but I also think that behind that there’s a lot of fear – if a girl has lots of sexual experiences under her belt, she’s definitely going to know whether you ‘measure up’ to the competition or not in the bedroom.  I think some guys are afraid of that judgement, if they’re with someone who has less experience they might feel more in control and less insecure.  Out of all the girls who I’ve been with, I only ever dated one who had very obviously less sexual experience than myself at the time, honestly I’ve found that having a partner with more experience makes things go better because they’re more confident about what they’re doing, back when I wasn’t experienced I really did appreciate having that more confident person there in the bedroom to help me navigate things, because sex when you’re a noob is always a bit awkward.

Hi oppar! Two months ago I asked a question about a guy I may or may not be in love with that wanted to visit me. He hasn’t come by yet, but I’ve been thinking a lot, and have come to the conclusion that I do have feelings for him and would be okay with being in a long distance relationship. However I’m worried about how I should both tell him this and how to actually make it work. As mentioned before, I have somewhat overprotective parents and although I don’t want that to be an obstacle in my life, the situation makes me anxious and I don’t know what to do.
There are lots of important things to consider (what is he like in real life? Could we ever live close enough to each other? What if my feelings changed then?). You said in another answer last month that if someone wants to make a relationship happen, they will put in the effort. Does that mean I’m overthinking it?
I would also like to add that I’m “emotionally unavailable” (at least according to the internet – apparently this is why I was so avoidant and gave so many excuses) and don’t usually like to talk much and tend to take a long time to respond to messages. Talking to other people feels like a chore, but I’m ruining my relationships this way. How do I enjoy spending time with others?

Talking to the people won’t feel like a chore when you are with the right people.  Well, okay, it still might, but certainly like far less of a chore, to the point where it’s very noticeable.  I have a much greater tolerance for conversation with my girlfriend than I do for conversation with the average person.  If this person doesn’t break through your avoidant tendencies to any more than a very small degree, it could be a sign that proceeding with a relationship is risky.  It wouldn’t hurt just to ask how they feel about long distance relationships though, just so you know if you’re getting worked up about something which has no chance anyway.

Can you give examples of how trot music, in one way or another, crosses over to kpop, particularly with the big hits?

Here’s a song that was deliberately written as a hybrid:

And here’s a song that borrows a lot of harmony stylings from trot:

Orange Caramel pretty much made a career out of modernising trot melody and harmony:

Most early idol pop was still pretty trot-influenced, you can hear it mainly in the chord progressions where they use circle-of-fifths all the time.  It’s gotten less and less common over time as idol music has looked more to the west for inspiration and songwriting cues, however the trot sound still crops up in newer songs occasionally.

So, I haven’t slept and I forgot if I ever asked this but let’s do it just in case I didn’t. Trawling around the internet I was recommended a TXT recording behind the scenes video where they never sang on-camera, it’d just cut off to the fully processed song in the back. Now, as a shittyzen I am used to behind the scenes where I can actually see and hear their voices, but my question is that: could SM have edited that during video post-production? They’re not shy about using that awful blurry filter to make them look whiter and smoother (more like plastic), so they could also autotune their voices, right? Or wrong?

Right.

Hello oppar! I made an Aussie friend recently- he’s a really nice dude but I’m afraid me and my friends might be doing A Racism on him by saying NAAURRRRRR every time he gets mildly annoyed about something (as in NOOOOOO in an Aussie accent). We’re not American so I’d say we have “be annoying little dipshits about other people” privilege but I still need to ask, is our extremely annoying and stupid joke actually A Racism about the lovely Australian people? Thank you!

Depends how much of a cunt you’re being about it I guess, but I seriously doubt most Australians would be that bothered by this.  If he can’t handle a bit of piss-taking he’s hardly an Australian.

okay so i actually searched up your blogs about what you think on kylie (you being australian and all) and i already knew you dont really rock with her music. but i still wanna ask what do you think of this cover?? i think it’s a downgrade version whether one thinks the original is any good or not. and personal ramblings: given of how drastically changed the song is i’d understand if kylie didn’t turn because their style is just different, i don’t know what happened after this performance or even how the show works in general but i just can’t imagine him under her coaching. ok that’s all. i hope you enjoyed t-ara’s new song, the one that doesn’t have an mv as much as me!

He’s changed the song (one of the better Kylie songs) to the extent where apart from that one line it really doesn’t have much to do with the original at all.  I think it’s okay for what it is but it’s hardly the same song.  I don’t know what the turning of the chairs means, I have no idea how this TV show works and I don’t care, but he’s definitely gone his own direction with it which is perhaps not a bad thing because what would even be the point of doing it exactly the same really.

I have a very subtle and technical question that will probably go way over the heads of most of your readers, but I feel compelled to ask it anyway: Do you think Hyomin’s boobs got prettier?

No, she’s always had about the same amount there, she’s just been more good about displaying them as she’s gotten older (and the pressures of keeping up a “young innocent” image have drifted away from her and onto younger idols).

Would you consider trying Wonho’s cat treats recipe and have Stiglitz do a mukbang?

Fuck that, this looks pretty good I might just eat it myself instead.  My cat is fat enough, she doesn’t need a bodybuilder’s diet!

Based on your objectification survey, I have merged together all the winners. Please tell me what you think:

face; irene – red velvet
chest; jihyo – twice
stomach; jihyo – twice
hips; nancy – momoland
legs; tzuyu – twice

Impressive photoshop skills!  However the result definitely isn’t my type whatsoever.  The whole definitely does not equal the sum of the parts.

Just for the sake of gender equality, I’ve used the same survey data to do a similar image for the male results.

face; wonho
chest; wonho
stomach; wonho
hips; wonho
legs; wonho

Hi Kpopalypse-oppar! I hope yr doing well. Thank you so much for all the time you take to respond to everyone’s questions. To the readers considering Topiramate: Please DON’T, I’m coming off it myself after it gave me serious visual field side-effects, really unpleasant anxiety and metabolic acidosis (my primary was abt to diagnose me as a T1 diabetic until I pointed out it might be the medication!). An ophthalmologist also urged me to come off it since it’s such a heavy substance. So… Yeah. I recommend people look up Topiramate-induced angle-closure glaucoma, this is actually a p common side-effect!

Noted.

And then:

Hi! I’m the person who sent the question about the break-up w/ the girl from the US who came to visit my country. Can you please only publish the part about Topiramate and leave out the rest? Thank you so much.

A pity, as the Topiramate wasn’t really a question, just telling other people not to do a thing (which I’d already done).  As for your predicament though, it might be worth a shot – but not several.  You definitely shouldn’t compromise any of your ethics, just like she shouldn’t compromise hers.  If you both reach an impasse where a compromise can’t happen – just let it go.

Do you consider NiziU not a kpop anymore oppar ? I haven’t seen their latest releases (with mvs) on your roundup (Poppin Shakin, Take A Picture)

(Chopstick is an interesting mv & song ngl)

What constitutes as a Kpop?

I don’t have time to cover absolutely everything ever.  Some stuff I just forget about.

“Chopstick” fucking sucks.  Really scraping the bottom of the barrel co-opting that “chopstick” piano tune and trying to make a modern pop song out of it.  Guess they really are fresh out of ideas.

I define k-pop pretty broadly and I’m really stretching the definition to put Niziu in at all, but they get over the line because they are borne from the Korean pop industry, not the Japanese pop industry, despite being Japanese and working in Japan.  Having said that I don’t really give a fuck about their shitty songs and if I occasionally skip a few it’s probably to everyone’s benefit.

i’m having a horrible time at school, i love all of my subjects but I can’t make any friends, I just can’t seem to talk to anyone. I also feel like shit because CEDS (community eating disorder services) basically blackmailed me into ‘recovering’. For the record, i’m not being given therapy or any of that, and I’ve shown no interest in recovery. But anyway, they said a few months ago that I had to start a high calorie meal plan and get my heart rate up, and if I didn’t, I’d be hospitalised and my parents would be informed. Which would be the end of my world and my dad would probably kill himself. My heart rate was really not low at all, 45bpm is pretty common with athletes and I weighed a whole 60fucking kg so they were really being dramatic. So i went along with the meal plan because I don’t want my dad to kill himself and had horrible refeeding syndrome and had to go for 10 blood tests in three weeks (without anyone finding out). But the worst part is, as much as I can blame CEDS for being twats, whenever I ate, it still felt like I was the one losing control and being a pos. And I’ve tried so many times (now that CEDS has loosened their grip) to go back to purging and fasting but for some reason I just can’t do it and it makes me want to kill myself or become a drug addict or something. Because I know its my fault that I can’t go back to it, because i’m fucking weak now and CEDS has effectively cut of my legs with a machete. anyway, sorry for ranting, you can respond to this if you want to, but i mostly just needed to vent

You should be talking to your parents about this stuff, not me.  Where are they in all this?  Do they know about any of it?  I’ve never heard of CEDS and I have no idea how this even works but I can’t imagine they would have the power to do anything to you at all if your parents rolled up to them and said “our child doesn’t have a disorder and you’re not taking them to hospital on our watch, now go fuck yourself”.  Assuming that’s true of course.

For the Qrimole readers who haven’t played Idol Dungeon before: MILD SPOILERS BELOW
I’m playing Idol Dungeon for the first time (yeah, it’s been like 4 years since you made it, I know). I got an ending I disliked, so I figured I’d go back to a previous save and kill Olivia. Now I’m having some trouble fighting Chuu, literally none of my attacks land on her! This is the first computer game I’ve ever played so my stupid ass can’t figure out whether the problem is the weapon I’m using, not enough XP or something else I’m totally oblivious to. I also haven’t gotten around to using the Black Ocean special attack, because I don’t know how. Can you give me some hints Oppar?

It’s been a while since I wrote that game, but I think the problem is that you killed Olivia.  Killing Olivia is difficult but it can be done, and it automatically draws Chuu into a fight, and it’s not possible to beat Chuu, her powers of aegyo are too strong.  So you’re basically screwed, I hope you still have a game save from before you killed Olivia.  I can’t remember how the Black Ocean works or even if it works at all, maybe it has no effect just like the real thing.  I disliked the combat mechanics in it actually, I thought they were a waste of time, and that’s why all of my other RPG Maker games don’t have that type of combat.  If you’ve already done the “AOA drummer” ending and then gotten out in time, then you’ve already “won” the game so to speak.  I know none of the endings are that good, it’s probably one of those games where the only winning move is not to play, I promise you that the “Try Not To Have Gay Sex With Yves” games are all better. 

Hi again kp-nim. I was the reader that asked a question last QRIMOLE about a sports team being damaging to my mental health. I had the conversation with my mother detailing how I was really struggling and that I need to put myself first, and her argument back equated to “you need to push through because it teaches you life is hard, other people are struggling so why can’t you” etc., which I objected to because I deal with shit she has no experience of (hiding my sexuality, hiding my atheism, and her unwitting manipulation since childhood being things I didn’t say explicitly), and that it’s too much of a liability for me to continue. When that was unsuccessful, I immediately began (quelle suprise) breaking down and self harming again, and only after discussing my dilemma with my aunt was I able to feel relief and begin the process to quit with her intervention.
After her talk with my mother, she came in my room and gave me the most loaded question I’ve ever experienced, something like “Are you happy with dropping everything and leaving the whole team behind, is that what you wanted?”, put forth that apparently because I left the team I have no excuse for any more of these downward spirals in my mental health, and tried to convince me again to go back because I need to have a sport. She even (funnily enough) accused me of my self harm and mental struggle being only an excuse to get out of having to do volleyball, which obviously makes me so inclined to continue friendly relations with her it physically hurts, especially at those dark spots on my skin where I stabbed myself with pencils and slammed my legs against the walls.
Anyways, now I’m feeling really stressed about leaving even though this is almost certainly what the right thing to do is, leaving a situation in which people used their authority to carry out bad practices that mentally damaged me and drove me to a negative state (ironically similar to the situation with my mother, except right now I can’t leave). Is there any way for me to affirm whether this was the right decision, besides just time? Thank you!
Also very quickly, another polyrhythm question in music- I watched a reaction video to this song that labeled this (at 2:30) as having many polyrhythms going on, is this true? I’m still struggling to conceptualize what exactly they are and how they function.

Of course your mother is going to come to the wrong conclusion as she doesn’t have all the information (sexuality etc), so she doesn’t see that this is as “loaded” as how you see it.  She doesn’t get that this is a culmination of various incidences and factors, she just sees it that you don’t want to do sport.  If you don’t communicate with her openly, she will always have the wrong impression.  Hell, you could even come out about all the other stuff if you wanted – but if that’s too much, then just play it cool, and if she asks you another loaded question like that I’d say “yes” with no hesitation and leave it at that.  My advice is just stick to your guns.  Ultimately, she can’t make you do anything.  Yes she can make you feel like crap, but she can’t do much more than that.  Rather than self-harming you need to rise above it.  Also if your aunt has been helpful maybe she can also help with healing the rift with your mother in some way, maybe.  Prepare to move out of home as soon as possible in case it all goes pear-shaped I guess, but then you should be planning that anyway.

ofherbsandaltars is one of my favourite channels because i’m in ed recovery and shes pretty much the only youtuber i’ve seen who really gets it, so i was interested in what she would say about kpop. most of the stuff was common knowledge because shes a kpop outsider, but the bit around the thirteen minute mark was interesting. Diet culture is a bigger industry than hollywood, is it possible that companies release stats and have such a focus on diet in interviews because they’re trying to pick up a dieting crowd/get the web traffics and articles/cover all the bases? idk maybe its just because korea is weight obsessed and idols are boring af and have nothing to talk about in interviews. but its an intriguing thought i guess
thoughts?

Yeah I think she’s on the money.  I’d argue that it goes further than that – once again remember the consumer end isn’t where you think it is in k-pop.  The real endgame isn’t to get more kids into “thinspo”, it’s to acquire contracts promoting “thinspo” related products.

Loona’s taken a nose dive in consistency for a while now while most of your old best hit/miss ratio groups have disbanded or gone dormant. Which boy and girl groups do you think are the most consistent now (and why is it Seventeen ;p)?

Pororo.

In one article I remember you describing LE as looking like a “sexy leek” – I agree that she’s sexy, but I don’t see the leek part. Would you mind elaborating (please help I wonder about this every time I’m reminded of EXID now)

I really can’t remember how I even came up with that.  A leek is kind of green and white and boxy looking, and… so is LE?  No, that can’t be it.  Maybe something to do with the eyes or the facial expression?  But then a leek doesn’t have these things.  Sorry, asking me why I wrote something so freaking old is just gonna elicit a ‘huh’ most of the time.  I mean one day someone is gonna ask me what I meant when I said Suhyun looked “as cute as a hotly minted fresh crap” and I have no idea there either.

Oppar, I’m stressed and on the verge of tears 24/7.
It’s possible I might have anxiety or something equally shitty. I’ve been stuck in the same mental state since I was a kid and I’m now 20 years old. I don’t feel comfortable asking my parents for help, and it seems all the jobs available for someone like me (never had a job, currently no degree) are high-stress and involve talking to other people the entire time, and that’s a little bit terrifying. I find it difficult to cope with stress, I’m socially inept and I’m a university student who sucks at managing their time and also sucks at their major.
I know that (supposedly) there’s a psychologist at my university, but because we’re in lockdown-limbo-thingy, I’m 99.9% sure he’s not even available.
I know this makes me look shamefully lazy and I keep making excuses, but I’m genuinely lost and I have no idea what to do. I’ve considered killing myself before to be less of a burden to my parents, but I’m a total fucking pussy, not gonna lie. Can you bestow your boomer wisdom upon me and recommend me ways to cope with my current situation or some online resources, if you know any? Also, do you happen to know what kind of part-time or online jobs would suit someone like me? Thank you in advance.

Yes, you are making excuses.  Firstly I guarantee you that your psych at uni is still doing remote sessions or something.  Look into it – immediately.  Also if you can cope with school and uni, work is no different, really.  You’re going to have to go through life talking to people in some form.  Why are you worrying about the types of job available to you when you don’t have a degree, while you’re in the process of getting a degree, meaning that situation won’t apply to you as you’ll be able to get better jobs anyway?  Stop wasting tiome on some old man’s website and go book in that uni psych seriously – do it now.  Why are you still reading this.  Go.

Did you know the Gaokao (China’s infamous College Entrance Exams that are harder than many undergraduate-graduate exams elsewhere) has a song?

The CCP would do anything to make their youths into studying machines with no free time to question the ruling party. 

I dunno, it’s better than j-pop.

It might be weird, but I tell you what’s weirder – Americans singing the National Anthem at LOCAL sporting events.  I get it if it’s the national sportball finals or something, but your local school sport event, “all rise for the national anthem”, and you’re expected to sing along, are you actually fucking kidding me?  Do you know how incredibly strange that looks to literally every single other person in literally every single country in the world?  That’s Isis-style fundamentalist wacky nationalism brainwashing 101 that’s at least equal to just about anything I can think of that has ever come from China.  Compared to that creepy-as-fuck shit, an anime rock song designed to encourage kids to study hard for exams is just kinda cool to be honest.

I’m (as of the time of writing) at a gathering of general acquaintances, staying over at one of their houses playing games to save face (we all play games in a “club” together, and I’m not one to start any drama). I’m not particularly social, and I tried to make a stupid joke to possibly bond with the host, and he straight up told me to my face I’m not that funny. I know I’m not that funny, but the only reason I’m joking is because I’m trying to play nice and look good for his dumb fucking ass, I pretend his shit is funny sometimes too even when he isn’t funny, and combined with all the other bullshit and stress of other people running the club and performing well I’m feeling really fucking butthurt. If it was his general nature to be brutally honest, etc., I would accept it as part of his personality, but he’s just some cocky little shit who doesn’t pertain to any of that. I’m wondering, is there any way I can give less of a fuck, from you, a general practitioner of not giving fucks about other people? Thank you!

Just stop pretending.  Then when they don’t like you, it won’t feel like you wasted your effort.  Next time he says something dumb just say “that wasn’t funny either” and see if he remembers what he said to you.

Are you planning on having a fashion class post this year? I have enjoyed them a lot.

I really wanted to, but things happened.  Will see what I can do, it may appear at any time in the future.

Hi Kpopalypse!
It’s been years and I’m still super confused about this cultural appropriation thing. Mocking a culture is bad, i get that. What I don’t get is this: Why is a person wearing a kimono or maybe an indian outfit for a dressup party culturally appropriating, but a person wearing a drindl to octoberfest not culturally appropriating? Both are basically making caricatures of a culture. Why are games in which characters have traditional inspired outfits (like these anime style games) considered to be NOT culturally appropriating despite waltzing over the symbolisms behind the clothing? Wouldn’t historical cdrama’s appropriate their own culture by not depicting clothing as historically accurate (like not only using inaccurate clothing, but also ignoring that women had their feet bound for the majority of ancient chinese history). I just don’t get why people trip over one thing, while not giving a shit about the other things. Shouldn’t they also be cancelling the cdramas or the stylised games and movies for “fetishising and disrespecting” their own culture? Like is there a nuance I’m missing here? I literally don’t understand how it’s offensive.
And lastly, as a comment on your previous QRIMOLE: You suggested that using racial slurs in songs is a bad idea if you wanna go global and that you should either expect people to be morons about it and imitate you, or not include them at all. So I actually went ahead and posted this opinion in a particularly toxic online forum and these are my research conclusions: not including the n-word in songs is bad because it limits freedom and artistic expressoin and it denies cultural heritage and it would be basically opressing african americans all over again.
I mean cool beans but I still don’t get it? How is not using a literal racial slur opressive?

Actual instances of genuine cultural appropriation in popular culture that are a real cause for concern (as opposed to someone flipping out unreasonably over someone else’s genuine appreciation) are super-rare, because if someone is racist, they’re generally much more likely to want nothing to do with someone else’s culture, rather than incorporate it into something, or mimic it, or try to look like it etc.  Your average suburban mother painting their son’s face black so they can look like Snoop Dogg at a children’s party is just doing it cos their son really likes Snoop Dogg.  On the other hand members of the KKK mostly aren’t out there calling each other “homie”, or wearing Indian headdresses, or adding hydraulic systems to their 1950s automobiles, or whatever the kids think “cultural appropriation” means this week, because they want nothing to do with any of that.

With racial slurs – I understand what people like Ice-T were trying to do:

I think he has the right attitude.

So, I didn’t know that existed australoid rappers in Australia and got quite surprised when this video was suggested for me. What exactly are the things that people from his ethnicity have to endure in Australian white culture, governement and shit? Also, thoughts on the music?

Racism in Australia is very real, and the various ways it manifests are too large to go into here.  Traditional aboriginal cultural values have always been pretty sharply at odds with western society especially in regards to things like land ownership, and a lot of the current problems aboriginals experience are flow-on effects from the clashing of cultures and lifestyles, plus the fact that full scale colonisation and wars were waged against aboriginal society and that this has set back generations of people, putting them very much “out of the game” for a long time.  It’s hard to give your children opportunities when an invading government has left your generational line with almost nothing.  There’s still elements of this happening today but there’s a lot of people working on solving the problems too, while there’s always be some cultural distance I think that on a small scale people can achieve a lot by just not being racist – that’s one less person giving another a hard time.  I didn’t like the music, kind of flat and boring, nothing much really happens, feels like a song that is riding on message alone.  I like the video concept though, and good on him for making it.  I think this song would really bother the people who it needs to bother, that’s a good thing.

Hi oppar. Thank you so much for answering my question.

Recently I have stumbled upon something way beyond the depths of Jpop and Kpop. It is…. Tpop!! I have basically found a girl group that appears to be the Thai version of Twice. I wondered what you think about the song.

Terrible.  They’re lucky they’re not Korean because this would hit my worst of 2021 list for sure.

Objectification survey stats of the month (best female boobs 2016-2021):
1. Eunbi (ex-Iz*one) – 2.33
2. Karina (aespa) & Hyosung (ex-Secret) – 3.00
3. Jihyo (Twice) – 5.00
4. Sunny (SNSD) – 5.50
5. Yura (Girl’s Day) – 6.33
6. Ahin (Momoland) – 7.67
7. Cheng Xiao (WJSN) – 7.80
8. Sowon (ex-Gfriend) & Hyuna (ex-4minute) – 8.00
9. Choa (AOA) – 8.33
10. Hayoung (Apink) – 8.60

Going by average rank without accounting for number of years appeared may have been a slight mistake (because you end up with outliers like Eunbi appearing super high with only a few years of appearance, Momo being dragged down by her one rank of #33 or something, and Sowon ranking super high just bc of placing this year despite no previous charting), but I’m not going to try to fix the calculation now.

Women who have appeared in every ranking so far from 2016-2021: Hyosung (ex-Secret), Jihyo (Twice), Sunny (SNSD), Hyuna (ex-4minute), Choa (ex-AOA), Momo (Twice), Hyomin (T-ara)

“One away from a perfect streak” club (AKA appeared every year 2016-2021 except one year): Hayoung (Apink), Puer Kim (independent), Sana (Twice), Soyou (ex-Sistar)

One-off members (people who appeared in only one year for 2017-2020, not including a bracketing year because it might have been the tail end or start of their popularity): Eunha (ex-Gfriend), Rui (ex-H.U.B), Nada (ex-Wa$$up), Goeun (ex-Laysha), Tzuyu (Twice), Hyeme (ex-Rania/Blackswan), Hani (ex-EXID), Chanmi (AOA), IU (soloist), Shannon Williams (ex-soloist), Moon Hyuna (ex-9muses), Park Bom (ex-2NE1), Viva (ex-Good Day), Yuri (SNSD), Hyejeong (AOA), Soomin (ex-CIVA), Yenny/Ha:tfelt (ex-Wonder Girls)

No chart this time.

Thanks!

Yeah the problem with calculating the average scores is that in years where certain girls were active in k-pop but didn’t appear, their score needs to be factored as a high number, not the absence of a number.  In many cases they were in fact voted for but didn’t hit the top 44 meaning their real number isn’t zero but in fact somewhere between 45 and 200 or so.

Do you engage in carpentry around the house or do you call someone when stuff’s broken?

I’m no expert but I’ll fix simple things if I can.  I recently taught myself how to rethread stripped screw holes and install push-button plugs, it’s great what YouTube can teach you when it comes to doing your own house maintenance.

Not sure if you`ve seen this or not, but in case you haven`t, here`s one of the girls from Girl`s Planet singing a super gay song. I don`t care much for the show, but this amused me greatly. That`s all.

Thanks – pity it sucks but oh well.

Recently four members of Laboum signed a contract to continue as Laboum (not sure if it’s the same agency or not, I’ve always been confused by their labels for some reason.) I’ve been a fan for a long time, but I really don’t get this. Especially since they switched to an all-ballad concept, the only song they have done that really blew me away was ZN/Jinyea’s solo “Actually, This is a Secret,” which, being a b-side, I expect you will never hear.
They’ve never been very successful, and Solbin at least had moderate success in other projects but she re-signed too!
Why do you think they, and other groups in the same boat, do this to themselves? Is it that they just can’t give up their childhood dreams, they just don’t know what else to do with their lives, or something else? As much as I want to see what else they will put out, in my heart I just know they’re not going to go anywhere with this.
Thanks!

I think there might be an attitude of “well, we’ve come this far”… nobody wants to feel like they’ve wasted a large chunk of their life pursuing something which didn’t come to fruition.  Often it’s psychologically easier to keep going and hold out for some good fortune than to draw a line under it.  Is it wise, that’s another question…

Hello! So, since you’ve always been sought after for love advice, I would like to ask for some – specifically, about choosing between two guys to start a long-term relationship. For more details, I’ll tell you what I think about each of them (I’ll call them X and Y).

X is really, REALLY nice… to the point where it doesn’t even feel real. I mean, I absolutely adore his kind, lovely personality (plus our sex encounters are always super romantic), but it’s just so weird to see him so relaxed and lovey-dovey at all times. Not even joking, sometimes it feels like I’m talking to my dad or uncle, which is… not very convenient when it comes to a relationship, if you know what I mean. It doesn’t help that I can’t get much information about his life – I often try to start conversation about our lives, and yet it always feel like he omits some details. For reference, I only know his first name, age, job, place, and education, and that he lives with his mother (albeit I don’t know whether it’s his mother needing assistance or his job not guaranteeing financial stability [he works in the field of arts, plays, and photography, which doesn’t exactly make you a millionaire]). (Sorry for such a long sentence lol)

Y is certainly more realistic, less schmaltzy, and just as willing to do favours for me, and we know a little more about each other, but… I don’t know, I don’t really feel the same things when we spend time together. Then again, we’ve been seeing each other for less time (just to prove that I’m not a cheating whore, X and I have only been fuck buddies so far).

This leads to my next point: what do these two want from me? From what I’ve seen so far, neither of them seem to be looking for an actual relationship; however, the fact that we’re spending time together and gradually getting closer implies that they might change their mind, and I’ll eventually have to make my decision.

Therefore, I would like to ask: how can I tackle the topic of starting a relationship while I’m with them? And, after I choose, how can I tell the unlucky one about how things have gone? Thank you so much and sorry for my essay!

X is frankly sus.  Could be for real, probably isn’t, but you and him obviously are “clicking” in some important ways so it’s worth finding out, being cagey about his employment in particular is a huge red flag, could be because he’s super-rich but more likely something more shady.  I would approach him and be VERY direct, PAINFULLY direct.  “Hey, so do you want to make this thing between us a serious thing?”  If yes, then “okay, so for me to feel comfortable with that, I need to know a LOT more about you, like…” and then hit him with all your burning questions like you’re running a job interview, with no warning (so he has no time to ‘prepare’).  Tolerate no diversions or romantic bullshit fluff responses.  Do not stop asking questions until completely satisfied.  He should be able to rapid-fire answers at you with little or no thought.  If you get any responses that are wishy-washy, cagey, or any kind of diversion tactics or anything else that seems like bullshit or raises your spider senses, like he’s making things up as he goes along, tell him he doesn’t meet required standards and that it’s over.  Don’t waver from this, because he will try all sorts of bullshit probably.  Bottom line, romance is nice but if he wants to be taken seriously he needs to get serious.

Y might be alright, who knows.  I’d progress over to Y if X isn’t willing to clarify things to your satisfaction.  As you’ve been seeing Y for less time I think give him some more time to reveal his cards, because he doesn’t have the same issues, you might not need to drop the same bombshell.  If on the other hand X turns out great, just tell Y you’ve gotten serious with someone else and leave it at that.

As for what they want from you, well that’s a good question to ask them directly.  Their responses will tell you a lot.

Hello! I am the one who asked for advice on how to choose between two people for a relationship. I forgot to add that the reason why being with X feels like being with my father or uncle at times is probably because there’s a big age gap between us: he’s 41 and I’m 21. Then again, Y is 39 so the situation is pretty much the same. Sorry for forgetting this detail!

Not sure why you felt compelled to include this as 39 to 21 isn’t really any different to 41 to 21.  This doesn’t change anything really.  I know what people are thinking “but omg the age gap” but seriously that’s just ageism, because you should be wary and cautious about getting into relationships with anybody of any age.

I sometimes get sad when I think about what a hag I am in kpop. Like seriously, what am I doing with my life that I’m 44 years old and collecting photocards of Asian women? I tell myself it’s okay because I have disposable income and life’s too short not to indulge in what I like, but I see BTS fans saying “tell granny to stay the fuck home” when an older woman posts that she’s going to LA for their concert, and it makes me want to exit stage left and forget kpop ever existed. Tell me what a cunt I’m being, please.

KRS-ONE had points.

Hi I have a question about arranging and music theory. I like to play guitar but I always play based off tabs. I think my ear is alright? I often times when I’m just playing random notes I hear the beginning of a random song I know and can figure out the rest of the melody from there. I want to be able to arrange guitar covers of songs I know but I don’t know how to start or any good resources. Figuring out the melody by ear is easy enough, sometimes I can figure out the chords if it’s a really simple pop song but often I cannot. Even if I do know both the chords and the melody of a song, how would I actually make an arrangement interesting to listen to? How can I improvise solos? I feel like maybe some of these could be answered if I knew some music theory but I have no idea where to start to learn theory to even answer these questions. I was wondering if you had any advice, especially on what important things I should know on guitar and how to figure out chords and make arrangements interesting. Thanks!

This is such an incredibly broad question that it’s hard to answer.  Can’t really say much except that my music theory series has covered and will cover a lot of this ground, which I’ve written assuming no starting knowledge.

So I remember you mentioning buying a Greatest Hits album from T-ara, f(x), or Gfriend in an instant. Well, T-ara’s recent releases have made me crave their best works, and I’m getting withdrawal from a lack of Gfriend releases since I’ve been following them since Rough. If you were to make a Greatest Hits album for each group, what would you put in each? Sorry if this would take too much of your time. I’m especially interested in the B-side songs you’d put because all three groups had much better than average B-side songs.

All the A-tracks, regardless of quality.  Nothing else.

Why?  Because it’s a greatest HITS album, not “greatest songs that weren’t hits but just happened to be songs they released”.  No false advertising here.

So oppar, how’s your top 30 end-of-year list (+ honorable mentions) posts going? Head not spinning yet? 😁

My head is in a constant state of spinning all the time, but I have synced it up to the rotation of the Earth so I don’t really notice.

Last week I went to a house party hosted by one of my close friends (we weren’t spreading COVID, we were all vaxxed). There were only 2 other girls there, and her parents weren’t around either. But because the high school I went to was a small Christian school where everyone knew each other, I didn’t have any fear that anything would happen to me. I did the thought experiment “Would I trust these guys to drop me off at my house if I was drunk?” and they all passed.
I’m an atheist and while I generally agree that organized religion is dumb, it also has an accountability factor within local communities. None of the guys there would try anything (assuming they did actually want to lol), since everyone’s parents knew about them and where they were headed, etc. and there would be shame and nasty gossip if they acted like creeps.

In contrast at my large, secular college I hear girls talking all the time about weirdos. There’s no accountability on them, so it’s on women to prevent something from going wrong. I’ve had 2 issues with sexual misconduct with the 2 years I’ve been at uni ready :(.
I do generally feel safer around Christian guys my age (early 20s) than atheists. A lot of atheist guys my age are super cringey or straight up sociopaths.
Now for old religious men…hell no! There were a few creepy old men teachers in my high school. So I guess my statement is that there is some benefit to religion, especially in smaller doses for those who are stupid enough that they can’t be moral otherwise.

Part 2: So at this party, my friend invited some people from her high school sports team. One of the girls’ boyfriend showed up a little later to the party. I hadn’t seen him since he graduated 3 years prior. I was able to recognize him but he had gotten unfortunately hot and less immature. To make matters worse, we ended up talking extensively because he seemed interested in learning about my major or something.
I didn’t say anything inappropriate (although my understanding of what is inappropriate is probably screwed, I’m probably autistic and am in the process of trying to get analyzed)
I did mention, several times and very loudly, that I remembered him from high school and he was one of the only people I really remembered from high school (because he said a lot of crazy shit in a class I took with him once). But now I’m overthinking? Does that make me seem like I’ve had a crush on him and got a chance to act on it??

I also jokingly asked him if he was interested in Dan Bilzerian since he mentioned liking poker.
If you don’t know who he is, he’s a trust fund kid who plays poker and his entire page is full of instagram models he has to pay to sleep with it. For a lot of immature guys I guess he’s kinda the ideal guy…super “masculine”, lots of models around him, always flying to exotic places. I realized after that was kinda insulting to bring up/show the instagram of around his gf.

also when we would talk I noticed his gf would get kinda quiet and put her head down slightly.

I’m 2 days out now and now scared that this girl will think I’m trying to steal her bf and/or was trying to disrepect their relationship. I mean I would, ideally like to date him but not like that. The gf is also a super sweet and cool person and I hate the feeling of making people uncomfortable.

and i’m also in this weird state where I feel like a shitty person for my only attraction to someone this year is to a taken guy. I’m also writting this out so I can stop fucking thinking about it.

Part 1 – I actually agree, religion works great – if you’re a fucking moron.  So it works great for the douchebag dudes in your Christian school who probably would struggle to know basic right from wrong without the help of having some sort of moral template conveniently written down in a book somewhere.  Why do you think religion exists?  Back in 1000 BC or whatever there wasn’t a super-responsive police force.  Yeah there were armies but they weren’t always the best people to deal with something more domestic.  So the best way to get people in society to co-operate and not do “the wrong thing” like re-enact Gain videos, thus lightening the load on society to administer punishments for these sorts of things, was to tell them that The Secret Cloud Guy was watching everything they did at all times and that if you did The Bad Thing he would definitely know about it because he’s all seeing and all knowing, and you would go to The Bad Place.  This is also why all religions always allow some degree of forgiveness, even supposedly “deadly” or “unforgivable” sins always have an escape clause – because if you turn around and say “well fuck it, I’m definitely going to hell no matter what, so I may as well re-enact all the Gain videos that I want” then the religion has no more control over your behaviour.  So they always dangle that carrot “every sinner can be saved” so you have a reason to start playing ball again.  All orthodox religions with any history, whether you believe in them or not, are always about social control as the number one priority.  Religion is fairly effective idiot control for those morons at the bottom of the intellectual ladder who need instructions for life because they wouldn’t be able to figure out “don’t be a dick” on their own.

Part 2- hopefully writing that out will help you think about it less.  There’s no point worrying about what’s already done.  I’m sure those two had a conversation about it after you left, and either promptly forgot about it (in which case no need for concern) or it caused some great rift in the relationship which is totally your fault (in which case he might come knocking on your door soon).  Either way it’s a win/win.

You mention in a curious cat that exposure is the best thing for getting a thick skin, being able to cope. I agree with some things that are not harmful, like heights, being rejected after asking someone out, and arachnophobia.
but in my experience of being harassed it just made me anxious and mentally dysfunctional. One example is a girl in middle school who kept pulling at my hair, trying to rip out. Because I had my hair straightened, she kept insisting that I had a weave.
I don’t think repeated exposure to that would have benefitted anything, and by the end of the year my mom thought the hairdressers had ruined my hair by straightening it so often but the bully had ripped out a shit ton of my hair…anyways, no, I think people should actively avoid traumatizing situations. being called slurs, crazy middle schoolers, etc.
I grew all my hair back out, but still. I have an anxiety disorder from it that has persisted and I’m 20 now. And many people, including yourself have had much worse bullying.

I’d rather be a little fragile skinned and not hang out with people who routinely call me slurs than hang out with people with a terrible filter/impulsive control issues just so I can numb myself.

I think that’s fine, if it’s an option.  I mean, given the choice between “never having to deal with unpleasant thing x” and “becoming better at dealing with unpleasant thing x” – I agree with you – take the first option if you can.  However taking the path of “never having to deal with unpleasant thing x” without any sort of backup plan can have unfortunate side effects that can really hamper your ability to enjoy life, because we don’t live in a perfect world and we will tend to encounter and be forced to deal with unpleasant thing x from time to time, whether we like it or not.  So you can’t always control whether you have to deal with something or not, but you can control how effectively you deal with it.  For instance I was bullied in school a great deal for being the antisocial weirdo that I was as a child.  As a result, I grew up with a bit of an issue with people touching me, because for my entire childhood whenever anyone touched me for any reason it was definitely always some kind of assault, so I decided at a very young age that I wouldn’t let anyone touch me ever, unless I absolutely couldn’t avoid it (like being forced to have a partner in dance class etc).  So now I was antisocial and weird and had no idea how to deal with human contact on any level – not the best decision I ever made.  Going that route instead of trying some sort of exposure therapy left me with some pretty deep scars that didn’t heal until I tackled them properly (and even then things now aren’t “better” but they’re certainly much more manageable, I no longer instantly start punching people when they touch me without warning, or flinch uncontrollably and start sweating when someone wants to shake my hand or give me a hug).  I think the more severe the situation is, the more importance exposure therapy has.  No psychologist will ever tell you “if something bothers you and is affecting your life badly just isolate yourself from it and don’t think about it ever again because your problem will definitely go away on its own and everyone will be completely respectful of your wishes at all times and never push your buttons”.  I mean it would sure be nice if that were the case, but we live in the real world where we can’t control what everyone else says or does.  However you can learn to control how you react and how you think in a positive, self-valuing way, not gonna lie it’s not the easy option and takes some work but the alternative is effectively just giving up and letting the people who are harrassing you claim victory, and fuck that because they don’t deserve that.

Oppar do you think Chungha’s “Killing Me” is a mild copy of Seventeen’s “Heaven’s Cloud” ? Sure it has some vocal melody that’s similar but I wouldn’t say its the same as Seventeen’s song.

Discounting the fact that any two pop songs sound kind of like each other in general, it’s only really the rhythm that’s the same, everything else is pretty different.  The melodies are all different.

I’m going to start piano lessons again since several summers ago. During one summer, I focused on self-teaching and practicing, but afterward I haven’t been practicing my piano skills much at all.

Given that I’m a really busy college student now, I’m worried that I won’t be able to continue these lessons during the spring semester. So I really want to make the most of them. What’s your advice to making the most out of music lessons?

My motivation for learning piano is that I want to have a deep understanding of music. I’ve studied quite a bit of music theory in my own time and even took several classes of it. But I feel the best way to learn is to apply it by learning an instrument as versatile as piano. I want to have a deeper understanding and appreciation of music, and I hope that one day I can make music remembered as fondly as some of the composers I look up to. I’ve learned other instruments in the past from being in middle school and high school orchestra, but I really want to get better at playing piano and writing music across different genres and styles (as my favorite composers tend to do). What’s your advice?

With teaching yourself something, frequency is more important than duration.  I always tell my students “if you’ve only got five minutes per day, do five minutes per day, don’t do 45 minutes once per week”.  It’s daily reinforcement that will allow you to git gud and stay gud more easily, because you’re training your brain with patterns and that’s easier to do in small regular doses.  Always have the piano lid open and ready to play at all times as well, so you can easily just walk up to it and starting playing immediately on a whim, if it’s closed up it’s easier to ignore or use as furniture.  As soon as it becomes unfun, or you get too busy and need to do other things, stop playing, do something else.  Then repeat, later.

Hello kpopalypse oppa I’ve been very annoyed at the last couple days ‘discourse’ about jae from Day6 as not even a day6 fan (too fucking coldplay for my tastes). I can only conclude that the reason people are so pissed at him this time are the reasons people were pissed at him to begin with, in that he’s basically saying all the same things that anyone who has read your blog would know about the industry or shit if you are even somewhat aware of the industry (literally none of what he said is anywhere close to new and thought the beef would be that he actually seems to like JYP the man which is a real thing to be somewhat miffed about) but he said it in a blunt manner that left no sort of room for fantasy which is what these fans really want no matter how much they pretend to care about their oppars wellbeing and how the industry is run. I’ve noticed that same level of pissiness aimed at you when you interview any ex idol or just in general. How does one deal with this? Does this say anything about fan culture and how even the ‘sane’ stans don’t Iike it when their bubble burst regarding their industry of choice to stan? Will stans ever get when things are meant to be funny or not serious and remove the sticks up their peeholes in the current future?

Btw here’s the podcast episode everyone got mad at him for

I always enjoy interviewing ex-idols, and I really appreciate it in the very rare instances when they consent to talking to me and are willing to go “the whole way” with an interview that doesn’t pull punches, because while I of course know all this stuff about how the industry really works, people simply don’t believe what I tell them if it’s me talking about it.  Having someone else up there talking about it who has some knowledge borne from experience is very valuable, these opportunities are rare but they’re always worth it.  As someone who has seen how the music business operates from the inside, the reward of having that kind of knowledge out there and documented for young fans to read and know about the industry before they fly to Korea and sign that piece of paper far outweighs the tiny impact of any sort of negative reaction I might get.  Stans usually don’t “get it” straight away and that’s fine, often they do later on once they get over the “honeymoon” phase of their k-pop interest.  I’ve lost count of the amount of people who’ve privately/anonymously apologised to me for hate comments they publicly made against me years ago when they were more at one with the cult.  A public apology and retraction would be nicer, but I don’t mind the reputation hit – everyone knows the villain has the best lines.

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That’s all for this month’s QRIMOLE!  This series will return next month!  In the meantime remember to support feminism by supporting Hyosung!

Oh, and do you have a question that you’d like to see answered in the next episode of QRIMOLE?  If so, use the question box below, or if no box appears, click the Qri on the sidebar to open the box as a separate webpage!  Kpopalypse will return!