Kpopalypse’s very relevant hot takes on the most important moments of Girls Planet 999

It’s time for a long-awaited post!  Kpopalypse is going to take a look at all the most important parts of the hot TV idol competition show, Girls Planet 999!

I’ve been very busy here at Kpopalypse Pure Thoughts HQ absorbing all the Girls Planet 999 content of importance, I’m sorry that I’ve been a little bit quieter than usual, but I had to prepare this post carefully!

Firstly, just a quick recap for those who don’t know what I’m talking about.  Girls Planet 999 is a TV idol competition show, brought to you from the team at MNet who also gave you the well-known series Produce 101 that spawned the group I.O.I.  Just like in that show, in Girls Planet 999, female idols compete in various knockout-style scenarios to survive to the end of the series and be in an idol group.  As it’s run by trusted brand MNet, we know that the competitions will of course be completely fair and balanced and there certainly won’t be anything weird going on, so please do not think the bad thoughts.  We also know that winning at award shows is very relevant, as lots of people have been asking about it, so naturally we have to bring you this important content.

Anyway let’s get to it!  Of course there is a lot of Girls Planet 101 content out there which has been officially released, so I’ve taken the liberty of compiling all the most important and highest quality moments in the following video so we can analyse them closely:

Let’s now take a look at the various elements of this video, so you can get the official Kpopalypse Hot Take™!

Girls Planet 999 high quality moment #1 – the 999

The font for the 999 is very shiny and nice to look at, but that’s not all.  I also like it how the 999 slides up from the bottom of the screen, rising up and zooming out smoothly in 3D, as the camera zooms out and each number rotates into place separately.  If only T-ara’s old video editors had a handle on this type of CGI smoothness, gosh MNet could sure teach them a thing or two.

Girls Planet 999 high quality moment #2 – the warp effect thing

Look at this neat warp effect thing.  Isn’t it cool?  It’s so impressive looking at all those flashing streaks vanishing into the infinity of space at incredible speed, just like money from fan votes, or accounting records.

Girls Planet 999 high quality moment #3 – the balls

There are several balls in the highlighted content in the video, some are shaded 3D like the ball pictured, and others are two-dimensional outlines, but they’re all quite big and quite round, and there’s no shortage of them.  It has been said that MNet have shown a lot of balls in producing Girls Planet 999, and this is definitely objectively true, with the producers thrusting their balls in your face at every opportunity even in these short edited highlights.

Girls Planet 999 high quality moment #4 – the colours

There’s no doubting that MNet certainly have a lock on impressive CGI graphic design, and the colours are one of the highlights.  Can you remember the last time outside of a Kim Hyun Joong court case that you saw so many well-coordinated shades of pink and purple all together?

Girls Planet 999 high quality moment #5 – GIRLs

It’s always a struggle when there’s a k-pop project with the word “Girls” in it.  Where does the apostrophe go? Do you put it after the ‘s’ (like “Girls’ Generation”), before the ‘s’ (like “Girl’s Day”), or fuck it off altogether (like “Girls Girls”, which could have gotten really confusing, potentially)?  Clearly realising the ambiguity of various shades of apostrophe usage, MNet have hedged their bets by removing the apostrophe, yet making the ‘s’ smaller, to indicate that there could possibly be an implied apostrophe in there somewhere, if you really wanted there to be one.  Big brain moves.

Girls Planet 999 high quality moment #6 – the space caltrop

You thought that these pointy fuckers just grew in your backyard and got into your socks every once in a while, but they’re in space now too, courtesy of MNet.  This glistening science fiction caltrop thing looks super impressive, and is very pointy and sharp, like something a manager would poke a misbehaving trainee with.  Better stick to your starvation-level idol diets ladies, or Mr. MNet will chuck a bunch of these into your shoes before dance practice.

Girls Planet 999 high quality moment #7 – this text freeze frame

When the text comes sliding in, there’s some mirroring going on, where the text blends with itself and looks like some weird other language.  This mirroring (like Megalia’s) may cause some panic and confusion for young oppressed male watchers who just want to see 999 girls on a planet and weren’t prepared for some weird purple and pink Russian TV space special that might threaten their masculinity by being about something other than locking a bunch of girls in a room and treating them like shit.  Fear not, insecure young men, as eventually the GIRLs logo folds out completely and all is proven to be well in the world.  Close call, eh?

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed Kpopalypse’s review of these edited highlights!  More posts soon!

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