Welcome to another episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert! Let’s take a look at more nugus!
Those of you with Northern Hemispherian privilege will probably be aware that at the time of writing this episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert, it is summer where you live. Perhaps it’s the extremely hot weather that made you notice that it was summer, or maybe it was all the polar bears joyriding around the ocean on melting icebergs, or the large amount of things in your vicinity which happen to have burst into flames recently, or maybe you just have good memories and somehow remembered that when the calendar turns over to June, that’s when the summer thing starts in your part of the world. Oh of course, I’m just being silly! We all know that as k-pop fans none of these things are likely to be even on your radar, and that the commencement of the summer season was signaled to you by high-profile k-pop comebacks:
At this point, the Northern Hemispherian summer is nearly over, and as one of the survivors in your community who also happens to like the k-pops, you may wish to take some time out from surveying the devastation and cremating your relatives to check out some of this year’s summer k-pop songs. Of course in the muddled chaos that is Korea’s k-pop comeback schedule, it’s easy to forget that it’s not only the big, famous artists that bring out summer-themed material, so Kpopalypse is here to give you a tour of some of 2021’s summer k-pop nugus! Even better, this is going to be a co-ed performer special!
Usual rules apply:
- Less than 20,000 views on official channels
- These artists probably don’t have a non-organic mass-voting campaign to “oRgAnIcAlLy” keep them at #1 on US Billboard like your faves do
- Relevant to Kpopalypse
Let’s take a look!
Dandong – That Beach Over There
If you’ve been thirsting for a nugu co-ed group to do a song to give you those summer vibes, then may I present to you Dandong. It has to be noted that Dandong turned out to be a very unfortunate group name as it’s also a place name in Korea so I’ve been unable to find out anything else about the actual group at all other than what’s apparent in the video for “That Beach Over There”. While the delineation between “singers” vs “models” here isn’t too clear, it seems like Dandong might be comprised of three guys, four girls, and a boat, but oddly not a beach, as the camera spends so much of its time at knee-level pointed upward that beach sand isn’t visible at any point. The camera crew don’t even dare to let the group in the sea, restricting them to an outdoor pool right by the water for some reason. I’m guessing this isn’t due to OH&S compliance as between all the suspiciously fake-looking boobs and that one guy’s Shindong-beating gut curve, the members seem to have adequate floatation devices between them, maybe they’re just trying to be all very environment by making sure that their BB cream doesn’t get washed out to sea.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 1228
Notable attribute: the blonde girl remains seated and dutifully performs her lines in a moonboot to show she’s got the right stuff to ascend to the k-pop A-list should you click on this enough
Nugu Alert rating: very high
Jeon Haeri – Just My Style
Who says that trot performers can’t get in on the summer fun? Okay so Jeon Haeri is technically a solo artist but it’s pretty obvious that the other people here are in her backing group, so they make the grade for this co-ed episode. Whoever was on the controls for the brightness in Jeon Haeri’s video could have turned it up a little to make it more obvious, but it’s nevertheless very evident by the copious use of trees and umbrellas for shade-generating purposes that the summer heat was certainly in full effect during production. Indeed, a quick and probably unintentional glimpse of the behind the scenes crew at 0:45 all busily fanning themselves shows that many people were struggling that day. The heat also seems to have dulled the critical faculties of the male performers as their appreciation of the ladies transforms from cool hat-tipping charm to mega-grimace-bearing stupidity for no particular reason, and that’s before the mysterious scenes where the lady transforms into a cross-dressing guy for no reason other than to make the viewer go “oh gosh, cross-dressing guys are so gross aren’t they, oh lol”. I’m not sure what the point of it all is, but they all seem okay enough to take a “framed picture” together and walk away at the end of the video with matching umbrellas so I assume everybody is happy, or something.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 514
Notable attribute: random ducks by the lake for no reason seem content to carry the visual heavy lifting in this MV
Nugu Alert rating: extreme
ThreeJob – Summer Love
I don’t know what’s happening at the start of “Summer Love” with all those phone conversations, but whatever it is, it culminates in a trip to the beach for some more summer music video fun for Kpopalypse Nugu Alert and isn’t that just as well because it means that these guys are going to possibly get their view count from double into at least triple digits soon. I don’t see why they shouldn’t, once again all the important elements of k-pop summer comebacks are all in place – an outdoor area, a large body of water, plenty of people sporting loud bright clothing in multiple colours, a below average song and stupid humour that makes no sense. The scene that happens as the ending credits roll is particularly baffling, I can only assume that the passerby is some famous person or something but then these guys don’t look like they have the budget to afford a famous stroll-past, plus I have no idea why he starts chasing them. However the biggest mystery to me here is why is there a beach in Korea littered with huge calthrop-shaped blocks of cement, is it just so k-pop people can shoot their videos with some weird cool objects in the background or do they serve a purpose. Don’t tell me it’s to fortify the beach against invaders, what are they going to do, look at the shore and say “gosh I know we have a battleship but getting past three meters of concrete butt-nuggets seems all too hard, let’s go home”?
Youtube views at the time of writing: 19
Notable attribute: all the dancing is crap until that one guys pulls a sweet breaking move at 1:15 just to show that he can, give these people views so they can afford choreography to harness this talent
Nugu Alert rating: off the chart
That’s all for this episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert! Kpopalypse will return in due course with more k-pop nugus for your entertainment!