It’s time for QRIMOLE!  Let’s take a look at more questions that readers have for Kpopalypse!

Gfriend’s only disbanded for half a month, and I already miss them. This year’s songs have been so terrible, and we can’t look forward to a comeback from them. Do you have any reasons for why there’s been such a drop in the quality of comebacks this year compared to last year’s amazing output?

Actually I think this year’s been pretty good.  People said 2020 was shit too when we were halfway through it.  Yes the loss of one generally good group sucks, but there’ll be other good groups, plus now there’s the potential for up to 6 Gfriend solo careers (they’ll probably be all shit ballads though).

Idk if you’re a wong kar wai fan (i know you’ve watched 2046) but does Yuqi’s Bonnie and Clyde music video remind you of the film Fallen Angels?

Yes I love his films, and “Fallen Angels” is the best one! 

The preview is deceptive, the film is not as action-packed as they make it look, it’s actually a lot better than that and I’d encourage absolutely anybody to watch it even if it doesn’t look like something you’d enjoy.  But no, Yuqi’s video didn’t remind me of that at all.  I guess there’s a little bit of similarity in some of the styling – but not much.  I have seen more than one outright stylistic clone of 2046 though!

Yuqi from G-Idle just released her solo songs! I liked Bonnie & Clyde more rather than the feature track Giant;

I really like her deep vocal color! I feel like it would not be as powerful with an other voice.

What is the worst case of a great song ruined by vocals you know from Kpop?

I honestly don’t think there is one.  I can think of a few “bad songs made worse”, but bad vocals are generally not a deal-breaker for me.

Hello oppar. So, I’ve recently gotten accepted into a course that gets you fully ready to get to a top university, or at least a good one, that is overseas. I got really excited and bought it, but now I don’t know what to think. The course is kind of expensive, but nothing too crazy, and it’s way cheaper than all these companies and their exchange programs that aren’t even worth. I know it’s one really big opportunity for my life and blahblahblah, but I still feel pretty uneasy about it: is all this “go to that university, it’s top notch” academia blabber actually a really good opportunity? Or am I gonna be disappointed?
Mind you, I only really accepted it cause I am in brazil, and, well, I’d much rather be in a country where they have better opportunities. However, I just feel like this whole academicism study is oh-my-gosh SO important is very sketchy, I mean, I’m kind of aware that degrees aren’t all that, what matters more is the portofolio, etc and I want to learn things that I wanna learn, even if it’s some wack degree that is supposedly “worthless”.
What is also bothering me a lot is how it feels like I put myself in a spot where I am under a bunch of pressure because of that whole “omg he has SO much POTENTIAL” blabber, since I would very much enjoy living life as a librarian or some job that might not have such a huge status quo, but is enough to get by and do cool stuff on the side. Now it feels like society expects me to be a doctor or a neurosurgeon or w/e tf. ( I actually really want to do stuff like, I don’t know, environmental science or maybe arts and philosophy or something, but most of the interesting degrees are either seen as useless or very competitive. Eh.)
Basically, oppar, is a woah-so-good academy degree really all there is to it? And should I do the course or get a refund?

My attitude has always been to do the things you want to do the most, not those which are more theoretically destined for success.  The reasons why are: firstly, you don’t know what’s going to happen with your chosen profession anyway, depending on the currents of the world it could take off or die in the ass, although I guess being a doctor is probably about as “sure-ish” a thing as it gets so that’s why people go for it.  However if you go down that path you have to keep yourself motivated through many years of study, and THEN once you’re done you then have to be a doctor.  Can you keep yourself motivated through years of study to do that, through either enjoyment, or just through being a very disciplined type?  If the answer is yes, great – do it if you want to.  But be honest with yourself – a doctor/whatever is a LOT of study, including in fields you may not give a shit about.  I know that I’m basically a lazy caonima and I could never do that because I don’t give any fucks about things I’m not interested in, that’s why I did music instead, I knew I would excel easily as I was so interested in it – I knew I would get through.  A crappy qualification in arts or humanities or some other interest topic is still better than a really good qualification that you don’t get because you dropped out.  Even the worst degree still qualifies you for a surprising amount of stuff (I could do TESOL in Asian countries because I have a music degree, for example).

Hi, I’m the caonima who sends all the links for the roundups the last month. I send the most complete list every week, but it seems like torture to you review them (and actually you may appreciate some songs or use them for nugu alert), so idk do you want i send them anyway (minus the ballads)?

Yes, keep sending!  Yes it is torture to review them but I honestly just chop out the stuff I don’t have time to cover or that I assume nobody would care about.  More videos means more options.  Your list is best list.  I know I moan about it a lot and probably seem super ungrateful, but if I wasn’t doing your list I’d just be making my own list and moaning about that instead.

What food should i try when i go to Australia?

Asian food.  Some of the Asian restaurants are amazing.  If you tell me where you’re going I might be able to tell you the best places to eat because I tour a lot and trying new Asian restaurants is one of the things I love doing on tour, it breaks up the boredom.

Please make best bulge award

no u

Question 1: It’s more like 2 or 3 major questions. Sorry if it’s TMI but who the fuck else can I go to, I can’t afford therapy.
The stuff I put in brackets you can kindly redact because I’m paranoid that the person mentioned might know about the blog.

I sent you a cc recently about whether college age dudes are okay with being in long term relationships rather than hookups, but the reality is that I’m scared for myself to some degree and I guess I’m jumping to conclusions out of fear and bad experiences I’ve seen online.
I was raised by helicopter conservative Christian parents and went to really a small high school, so I still haven’t gotten kissed or lost my virginity or had a boyfriend even though I’m in college. I’m not really ashamed of this, but I’m concerned about how other people might react to it when they find out.

The second issue is that I have no knowledge of expressing what I want or knowing what a good experience is vs. a bad sexual experience.
I’m not sure how another dude my age would feel about dating a girl who’s never had sex before and has a fairly low sex drive. I’m not asexual at all, I fantasize and what not (what else is kpop for) but I could go my entire life without sex and not really care too much. I think this is somewhat common for women, but I’m not sure what the metric for sex drive in the first place lol.

I would talk to my parents about it, but like I said, crazy conservative, etc.
How do you tell your boyfriend you’re a complete virgin? And also that you have a fairly low libido in the first place? Is it possible to find a guy in his late teens/early 20s who’ll date a girl who doesn’t really care to have sex straight away?

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Question 2: Why does SM dress aespa like disney characters? Even in comparison to ITZY, who are a bit younger, they tend to dress in a way that I find a bit immature for their age. Is it just a concept thing?

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Question 3: Taemin just left for the military. I’ve been a fan of SHINee since 2016 and Taemin is one of the few idols I appreciate as an “artist”, whatever that means in kpop. I know kpop is contrived and blah blah but I feel that he clearly put in more time(?) effort(?) than like 99% of kpop idols. I guess I sound a bit fangirlish, but just compare any kingdom performance to one of his concerts and hopefully it sounds less like I’m just Taemin obsessed.
Even if all of his songs weren’t my favorite, his stage presence and dancing ability really stood out to me apart from the newer wave of idols who just dance hard to metallic beats for 4 minutes lol.
Kpopalypse, I need a dose of cynicism so I stop idolizing Taemin over other idols.
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Question 4: Why are guys in Korea so crazy against feminism and women in general? Every day in korean gossip sites I see articles about something offending them for no reason. There’s also that statistic that like ⅓ of young men in Korea extremely oppose feminism. I feel like in the West most men either tolerate because they have to, don’t really care, or are allies.
Is it the lack of porn? Confucianism?

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Question 5: Have you heard of scp or the scp wiki? It seems like something you might be interested in looking into when you’re not busy answering asinine cc anons.
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Question 6: Are there qrimoles you don’t actually answer? It says you only answer good questions but I still see answering questions even with stuff that you’ve repeatedly said you don’t want to be asked (ballads, jpopalypse, people who need you to to tell them their own music taste, etc.)

1. Just don’t tell him.  If he asks, “not much” will do as an answer.  “How much exactly?”  “Not much.”  Leave it at that, stand firm.  Then he kind of knows what to expect (that you won’t really be very experienced) which will be helpful in the bedroom as it will remove some awkwardness, but without you having to reveal anything too personal at an early stage.  If you’re still together in six months and you like him THEN you can tell him you were a virgin, if you want to.  Nobody is owed any information about you.  Low libido is common for many people, it’s kind of encoded into our media that we have to be horny all the time but really, it’s not like that for the majority.  Honestly thinking about sex all the time is exhausting.  (1a – the redacted part – the other dude just sounds like an asshole, that kind of behaviour isn’t common)
2. I’m going to guess that it’s part of the whole “virtual idol” thing, trying to make the group seem more like fantasy than reality, part of their almost sci-fi concept. 
3. He’s just trying to be Michael Jackson lite, which is basically what every Korean male soloist who isn’t a ballad or trot singer does.  Sometimes he hits the mark more than other times.  He’s a really good performer who is very skilled but the next big leap forward in k-pop musical innovation isn’t going to come from Taemin.  Which is not what he’s here to do anyway so that’s fine.  It is what it is.
4. I think the article linked in the tweet that you linked answers your question well.  Feminism in the west has happened slowly over generations, whereas in Korea it’s all happened very quickly, with some parts of society forging ahead while others lag behind.  In Australia most men believe in a broad concept of equality and fairness but most wouldn’t call themselves feminist or feminist-aligned, however there isn’t such an outright hostility to feminism here either, people who hate feminists here would be more inclined to dismiss them as irrelevant rather than organise action against them.  If you threw in factors like mandatory military conscription for men only, extremely high cost of living, higher academic pressure and shortage of careers, etc, that might change.  Korea’s young men are right to be angry as they have legitimate grievances, but feminism itself shouldn’t be the target, the real enemy is the culture of Korea’s economic system.  One telling part of the article is how people who learn about feminism online tend to hate it more, but people who learn about it offline are more sympathetic.  There’s a lot of misinformation and strawmanning online of just about ANY political movement, I think that plays a role with a movement that is very easy to demonise because of the way that misinformation plays into some of the Korean system’s existing unfairness.
5. Never heard of.  I had a quick look at this and I think someone’s going to need to explain this one to me like I’m five.
6. I try to answer everything worthwhile, however some questions are just too shit.  Sometimes I’ll answer the shit questions anyway just to give people an example of what not to ask, or because I thought it was funny, or whatever, but if I can’t think up a funny response I usually just delete them. 

Oppar, I’m in trouble. I arrived late to work today and I was warned that my “superiors” (not actual superiors since I’m a subcontractor) have been commenting that I’m always running late. I want to call that an exaggeration (I’ve run late a few times, not always), but I don’t have the right to because it’s true I’ve always had a problem with being late for things.
However, I’m still mad because I’m a subcontracted employee with a terrible work contract (that we only obtained because the work inspection bureau investigated the company) earning below minimum wage, and they’re not even my bosses! So I’m mad at both myself and them.
Obviously the correct answers here are either “don’t be late” or “get a new job” (I want to but I’m struggling with it), but I still wanted to vent, and maybe ask whether there’s something I’m missing.
Anyways, sending my best regards!

Don’t be late, get a new job, the bit you’re missing is if they’re paying you under minimum wage that sounds like it might not be legal, might be time for you to get in touch with that work inspection bureau, or if not them most countries have some kind of fair work hotline where you can dob in a shitty employer and/or get advice about what to do if you’re being paid less than legal wages.

Hello Kpopalypse oppar!
Can you please tell me what happens with the percussion in the chorus of Aseul – Loveless?

Everytime that I hear it, seems like something new emerges to my ears. Also, do you know some other music that also uses this artifice/gimmick?

Not sure exactly which bit you’re referring to.  But the things that stick out as rhythmically unusual to me are firstly – there’s that sound where the bass sounds like it’s “tripping over itself”, it happens at 0:47, 0:57 and other places.  This is basically the bass doing a triplet over an otherwise very squared-off rhythm.  The other thing, and what I think you’re referring to, is that from 1:36 the snare drum isn’t always hitting on the 2 and 4 of the beat, which is when snare drums traditionally happen.  Sometimes the 4 is missed altogether (this happens in the verses too) but at other times it’s actually hitting later, on the 4 and a half, so on the off-beat.  If you want to hear another song where this happens, here:

From 0:55 the snare hits periodically on the 3 and a half, so on the early off-beat rather than the late one.  This stops when the chorus comes in.

Two questions:

1. I was watching Weeekly’s After School dance practice video and realized their skirts are really short – if not for the gym pants, their underwear would almost be visible. Do you think this was intentional from their company to pretend to make fun of the perverts who want to see the girls in miniskirts while secretly pandering to them by “leaving it to the imagination”?

2. What is your opinion on kink/fetish stuff at Pride parades? Every June the same argument happens over whether it’s creepy/innapropriate/abusive to children or not.

1. I think it’s more about them trying to find a way to visually unify the various tracksuits that everyone is wearing, while also keeping it “feminine” or whatever so they don’t look too boyish or otherwise the earth may explode from that
2. “Abuse” pfft.  I think it’s a good opportunity for educating your kids that there are some “different” folks out there.  Your child is going to run into queer people eventually, why not get on the front foot and tell them about who they are and what they stand for before they get the schoolyard version (which they WILL get LONG before they become adults, whether you like it or not).  On the other hand if you don’t want your kids to see giant dildos and vaginas and/or aren’t ready to have that conversation, don’t bring them to a fucking pride parade.  Simple.

hey oppar, i recently had a.. quarrel with a blackpink stan over the jennie being lazy incident. i’m kinda over the whole incident but this fan was very insistent on proving that jennie is a perfect angel and it was yg’s fault that she got so much hate.

during this debate, the topic of jennie leaving in the middle of a performance to fix her top came up. i was under the impression that it was a bit unprofessional, as she could’ve held the top together for an extra minute or two, im sure that’s nothing. i thought that jennie making a scene and leaving was a detriment to the money that those fans payed to watch her. but the person debating me thought it was the right thing to do. this person then said that it was unprofessional but also the right thing to do which confused me. is it possible to be professional and not do the right thing (and vice versa)? what exactly constitutes ‘professionalism’? if you have a post for this already and im being a dumbass, please do link it. if not, a post for ‘professionalism’ would be interesting as it’s something that fans like to brag about (‘rosé is so professional! bts are so professional!’ blah blah blah) until then, stay safe oppa!

Well, at least he wasn’t sexualising her.

What exactly constitutes ‘professionalism’ is a great topic for a post.  Expect it fondly.

Hi there! I’m trying to reset my life at the moment – I quit a high paid but terrible job straight before the pandemic, and I’ve spent the time studying for a relevant qualification and also learning a language. I also just broke up with a long term partner. My questions are:
1. How do you keep your spirits up while job hunting? I don’t want to feel desperate and just end up going back into a terrible job but it’s really slow-going (0 responses so far, it’s been over six weeks since I started sending applications).
2. I’ve experienced my first break up, it was with someone I was with for years. I’m actually really happy about it and it’s hugely improved my quality of life – they weren’t a bad person but it completely stopped working. I know people talk about rebound relationships and how they don’t work, and how it’s advisable not to jump back into dating too soon. I’m not exactly out and about at the moment, and I’m really enjoying the single life, but I was curious as to your take on this. Do you think there’s a necessary cooling off period between relationships? Or should each relationship be treated individually?

1. High determination levels.  Also try different strategies.  Don’t forget to talk about the fact you’re job-hunting with your friends, not only will it help you feel better but a lot of people get jobs through people that they know so it will increase your odds hugely.
2. It’s just what’s right for you.  I don’t think there’s a required period that’s necessary for everyone, but I also think that after a big thing it’s good to give yourself some time to clear your head, consider what you want and also enjoy not being tied to anyone or anything.

Hi Kpopalypse!

This is not question per se, I just want to raise an issue that has been in my mind these days. So if you decide not to respond it, it’s okay for me.

I always find it’s interesting to see many people claiming hate ticket to the company whenever a dispute between the idols and their agency occurs. I tend to believe that a Kpop idol, or any figure in entertainment industry must be have a “camera-ready personality” that created by the agency to make the talent stand out from the rest. This thought starts to make me skeptical towards idols variety shows or live, since they know they are filmed, right? And by hating the company, doesn’t it just hating who initially makes you fall to an idol in the first place? If you like a Kpop act produced by an agency, doesn’t it actually you love a music and concept package that created by them? And by that question, I infer that in business sense, if a group with certain concept and music just doesn’t make profit anymore, it’s best to disband/leave them into indefinite hiatus. They don’t care what fans are saying because for them, it’s just business. It’s fans that can’t see between the lines and resulted in agony whenever their idols seem harmed by agency.

I am scared of this thought because it really put the whole industry a very negative perspective for myself, where there is no genuine relationship between fans and the idols, because above all personalized answers in social media or fan meeting, as genuine as it probably seems, it is just a business-driven atmosphere. But … in the other side, I can’t believe that Loona’s Chuu is not as bubbly as we see, because it seems so hard and tiring to maintain that persona unless you are that extrovert lol.

Thank you for reading my thoughts. Stay happy and healthy!

No response needed really, but this is kind of what I was saying with this post and also this post, and especially this post.

I asked you a Qrimole question about how you felt Gfriend’s music would go since Mago was an outlier in just how good it was despite not following their formula. Welp, I guess we got that answered for us. Since you’re someone with experience in the music industry and have had multiple interviews with current and past kpop stars, do you have any speculations on the reason for their decision to not review their contracts? I know many seem to think that Hybe was lowballing them because of a new girl group, and it does seem that Hybe had little influence on their music last year (Thank god since Enhypen, BTS, and TXT have godawful music), perhaps indicating a lack of interest in Gfriend. It’s not like the members of Gfriend were individually popular enough to make it as soloists, so it seems rather unlikely to a completely willing choice on their end, as we all know that many kpop artists have very few other skills due to giving up their education and much of their youth for this career.

and

Hi Kpopalypse Oppar, how are you doing? I feel very sad with sudden GFriend disbandment because the group had been releasing at least 1 title/promoted song that I like every year since their debut. I was looking forward to this year released as the girls seemed not disbanding. Unlike GOT7, there was no news of them looking for other agencies & they also mentioned of extending their contracts. They also mentioned that they were preparing for Jun release. They seemed to get along well & their teamwork was fantastic. Those synchronize knife like dance couldn’t be done consistently without great teamwork. No big scandal as well (yeah Sowon case, but their main audience wouldn’t care much). GFriend is also profitable group. It looks like their disbandment was a sudden decision. What do you think is the reason? Hybe recent restructuring? Scooter Braun?

and

So Gfriend disbanded, sadly soon after your retrospective post but thankfully on a high note in one of the best songs of last year. I think this has made many people question why it’s happened considering while nowhere near as popular as their peak, Gfriend has been a consistently strong girl group for the girls’ entire careers. Honestly, it completely blindsided me as someone who only follows kpop for a couple of groups and mostly due to Gfriend. What are you thoughts on the matter? (If you make a post after this question, you could either expand on them during Qrimole or just completely ignore what I asked).

and

Dear Kpopalypse Oppar,

Gfriend disbandment … It still hurts when I read or write it. People on my Twitter TL conclude anything for any little information possible, because maybe they love the girls so much that it hurts to know that it is the end of an era. I really doubt they will redebut again, since they’re not young (at least from what I perceive as Kpop “young” standard) anymore. What do you think will happen next for them, Oppar? Do you have any guess?

You probably going to compile this question along with Gfriend disbandment related inquiries lol. Anyway I tried your 12 steps to cope with disbandment but somehow right now I’m ready to stan another girl group, how’s this happen?

Wish you the best, thank you for reading!

I clearly need to write a post to help people cope with Gfriend disbandment in particular.

You are jealous of BTS.Stop hating on BTS.They make better music than the Beatles.Beatles makes songs about drugs and love while BTS makes songs about mental health and societal issues.I AND BTS ARE GOING TO RULE THE WORLD

jk,Oppa If HYBE had to buy a Big 3 company what would it be

Sony.  Oh wait, I thought you meant actual big 3 companies…

YG I guess.  Both pretty okay with treating woman badly, they should get a good rapport going.

Hi Kpopalypse Oppar, I just read that Australia is facing rat plague, I hope you didn’t impacted by that and the situation can be normal again soon.

I guess this month you will have many questions/grunts related to Gfriend disbandment. This makes me remember your post in this blog, iirc. You said that we don’t have to be worry that we can’t listen to the (disbanded group’s) unreleased songs because those songs will be “circulated” (I forgot your term) to another group. I wonder how is this done, since usually groups have tons of unreleased tracks, do the company just wait to debut other musical act? Or they can just sell or arranging contracts with the song’s composer? Or there are other way?

Second, I just want to share my experience. I was not listening to music for like two months to concentrate to my study. I know it’s something that differs between people, but it’s really easy for me to get distracted by music, particularly Kpop since they tease me to look up their performance videos and so on. Surprisingly, after finally listen to new music again, I’m not that “obsessed” anymore to do that. It’s actually kind of desensitize me to “bias” a song based on the group. Shortly, it makes me more neutral to a song without judge the artist and not too curious for the performance. I don’t know if there’s science behind that, but I think it’s a good way (at least for me) if I feel Kpop is too distracting. Also it helps me to accept Gfriend’s disbandment better, somehow.

That’s all, Oppar! I wish you stay safe and healthy, thank you for reading and responding to my question. Have a great day!

Animals in Australia are always doing this or that, we just deal with it.  The only rat plague of real concern we have in Australia is the one in Parliament House.

It’s healthy to have breaks.  When I listen to music I generally give it my full attention, so I’m usually not also doing anything else.  Putting yourself on a musical diet will help you appreciate it more.  My brother used to have a rule when he bought a new album he really liked, that he wouldn’t listen to it more than once per day, that way it stayed fresh and he didn’t overplay it.  Smart.

Oppar how do I know whether it’s a dick move or setting boundaries to not go along with something? I know some degree of compromise is required in platonic/romantic relationships but currently I feel like I’m always doing things I don’t want to do for the sake of my friends/girlfriend. But I don’t know whether this is just me being narcissistic! E.g. hanging out together and doing things I don’t really enjoy such as shopping for clothes or listening to my girlfriend recount the plot of an show she’s watching in excruciating detail which highkey spoils it completely for me since I’ve never watched it. Then again, I obviously can’t comment about the things I make them do that maybe they don’t really like. To clarify, I care about and like/love these people, which is why I’m willing to put up with this. But it kinda makes me feel drained. I don’t really have many close friends and I never expected to have a girlfriend at this stage in my life and feel lucky. So I don’t want to damage those relationships either. I guess a solution is “find people with common interests” but (not to sound hipster) I’ve never met anyone in real life who has a lot of the same interests I do that I also like as a person. A running thing between me and my girlfriend is that we really do not have the same music taste, which I’m aware is fine and I’m quite used to people not liking the same songs I like, but it makes me feel bad whenever she tries to recommend me a song she likes because I almost always don’t like it. When I try to say something constructive that doesn’t just boil down to ‘the song is shit’, she always says something like “I guess you think more about the music you listen to than I do” which makes me feel like an elitist prick. Maybe I should bring this up to my friends/girlfriend, but at the same time I don’t want to make them feel like they have to constantly cater to my tastes and preferences. Would appreciate any advice, thank you.

“Common interests” is bullshit, you don’t need them.  What you really need to make a relationship, or even just a friendship work is complimentary personalities.  Now complimentary doesn’t mean “alike”, in fact it often means the opposite.  Two people who always want to have the last word will piss each other off.  Two people who are really shy will never even get a conversation going.  Etc.  So it’s normal for one person to be more dominant in some ways.  But that doesn’t mean being a doormat and getting completely shat on because you will feel drained if you don’t look after your own needs, you should set some boundaries too.  If you want a relatively “safe” testing ground, try setting your first boundary around the movie spoiler issue: “please don’t talk about and tell me plots of movies before I’ve seen them”.  How she reacts to that, and more importantly, how she adheres to it, will give you a good indicator of how she will react to anything else.

It’s pretty hard to talk about this with anyone in real life so I figured maybe it’s better to just ask an older stranger with a brain that can actually maybe help. I’ve been with this guy for 9 months now and a lot of it has gone fine with some rocky times every once in a while because of long distance. Now, not every problem we have is my fault because he’s a damaged person too, but these days I’ve seen that my insecurities are a huge issue and I don’t know if he feels like it’s that way but I definitely do. I’m too dependent on him and his validation and I have really uncharacteristically strong emotional reactions when something doesn’t go my way or he says something that feels off but a bit later I look back on it and I have NO idea what I was getting upset about. I don’t always act on the stuff my raging insecurity makes me feel but for the times that I have I feel so disgusting about it and I just wish it could go away. How the fuck do I get over never feeling like I’m enough?

I think try to branch out your emotions a bit, by doing some more stuff that doesn’t involve him.  Try starting a project or a thing that you like doing, and don’t even tell him about it.  You don’t have to “keep it a secret”, just make no special effort to tell him, involve him or seek his validation (if he offers it, fine, but don’t solicit it and don’t let him collaborate).  It’s an exercise in thinking independently, a focal point will help you get over insecurities, and a way to prove to yourself that you don’t really need validation.

i know you said you don’t really watch eurovision but what do you think about a rock song winning this year?

(also why tf does australia even take part in the contest it makes no sense)

I’m fine with a rock song winning, I just wish it was a better rock song.  Something like this:

Australia has always really loved Eurovision for some reason, probably it has a lot to do with the very high amount of European immigration to Australia over the years, especially since the 1950s.  I’m not sure how we got permission to compete, that always seemed like an odd decision to me, but Australians love Eurovision so much that we are willing to look past this.

I just binge read your fanfictions and gosh, they give me chill and excitement at the same time, despite I had already prepared myself for all the gore and violence may happen (I just read the Sone and Skull one and at the epilogue, I got chilled. Out of all the fanfictions I read from you, the Skull Sone and the SHINee train are probably the scariest to me, as they manage to give me goosebump at the end). So I want to ask can you share us some writing tips when you wrote your fanfictions, and also I know this is unlikely but are there any fanfictions that you like?

and

Hello Oppar. I just want to say that I admire your fanfictions and how you write them. Although you advised people to write in their own style rather than copy yours, I want to write something like you. I like that you write your characters sensibly. They are relatable but not boring (which tend to be the case). I like how you have both male and female protagonist on your fanfics but don’t have a syndrome of writing one gender better than the other (I know you don’t like talking about this but I like your writing than anime). One more thing I like about your writing is that you focus on the character’s actions and thinkings, as one thing I don’t like in fanfics is that they are too… sappy (which makes the characters look so whiny and self-absorbed). Anyways I’m looking forwards to your next fanfics.

Cheers!  While I don’t advocate that people try to write exactly like me, I think there’s a few things that people can learn from reading how I write these things, if they’re interested in writing fiction in general. I intend to soon write a post about how to write fanfic, because I think people really need some help hahaha

I don’t really like any other fanfictions… obviously!  They’re bad mainly because the type of forces that compel people to write a fanfiction are completely polar opposite to the type of forces that encourage good writing style.

hey oppar

I’m looking into yet another year locked inside my house and been thinking about learning an instrument. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the bass guitar and given how I cannot get a job until the pandemic ends (hooray for being immunosuppressed!) I think now may be the perfect time. Any tips on how to get started? I can’t hire a teacher for now because of my condition, so I’ll likely depend on youtube tutorials. I have no background in music so everything seems a bit too intimidating.

I highly recommend the BassBuzz channel for beginners.  Best and most accurate newbie advice I’ve come across online, and also delivered in an entertaining, non-cringe way.

Hello, oppar. How are you doing?

I wrote to you back in October’s qrimole. You obviously won’t remember anything, so tl;dr: I was the PTSD girl who asked you for relationship advice while dealing with trauma from sexual assault. The past eight months have been a trip, but a good one!

I took your advice to heart, especially the part about how he could only work with the information he had. At that point I had told him that I struggled with PTSD and had triggers, but didn’t really go into much detail, because that shit is hard to open up about (and in my mind not touching the subject meant not exposing him to a side I’m ashamed about). But things were turning more and more serious and I realized, like you said, that holding back information was doing more harm than good. So I drew a comic (lol) about my struggles, things that I cannot in any way watch/hear/talk about, the real ugly stuff. Despite what my paranoia was telling me, I was met with nothing but support!

I’m still insecure as shit considering he’s had past romantic experiences, is 8 years older and I’m a nervous blob of a human that has to navigate social situations as if they were a minefield. But as you said, if I didn’t even try it would mean the abuser who turned my life into a living hell would win. Thanks for giving me that perspective, I really needed it.

The idea of having a relationship still scares me a lot, but I think it may be part of the recovery process. But if anything, having someone who genuinely seems to care about me by my side has been amazing.

I’m writing mostly to tell you your advice helped me immensely. Thanks man, I’m really grateful.

This is awesome, good stuff!  I always like it when I get messages like this from people who have been helped.  This is why I don’t hesitate to try and help people with personal issues.  I’m not a psychologist, but just someone who has an outsider perspective on a lot of things, and sometimes just seeing things from a different angle can be all you need to help progress something to the next step.

Insecurities etc are not going to fade overnight, it’s just something you have to keep working at day by day.  Over time and with practice it gets easier.  PTSD is probably always going to be there in some form but it’s the kind of thing that you can work with.  The comic is a really cool idea.

Hi oppar! Thank you for running this blog, specifically this monthly advice column (lol). I’ve been a caonima for about… nine years and I greatly enjoy your writing. My quandary:[redacted]

Chopped out the details at your request.  This is very risky but I think you’re aware of that.  The most obvious risk is that you’ll have no safety net if this fails.  The more insidious risk, that may not be immediately apparent, is there’s a very large power imbalance here.  Not saying this person would by lying or manipulative, but rather, after doing all of THAT for you, they might feel resentful or like you owe them something, or even if they don’t feel resentful, you might still feel obligated to “repay the karma debt” even if the other person is really nice about it.  This could put you both in a very awkward situation.  I can’t really tell you to go for it or not, but be aware that these issues could haunt you both, so your only chance of making this really work for the long term would have to involve being very open about all the feelings that may be tied to that – this goes for them as well as you.

Recently, the USB microphone that I use to record myself singing broke, so I’ve been recording on my laptop. Do you have any tips on how to make it sound better?

Problems I’ve noticed so far:
-I don’t speak Korean (though I don’t expect you to be able to help with that).

-Some computer fan sound bleeds through – it is hard to get my computer to not overheat when using the recording software I do and playing the backing track on Youtube (though I’ve been better at this before).

-I’m also aware that I had some rhythm/pitch mistakes. Garageband doesn’t really have a good pitch fixer, so I left it alone.

-The backing riffs Yves does blend well with the leading vocal without overwhelming it, which I have a hard time doing. The main thing I noticed was how dissonant interval at 2:31 sounded (major 2nd), and it didn’t sound dissonant at all in the original.

-I couldn’t replicate the “more more more” in the original without sounding weird. I only added some around 2:22 because there was so much going on it could hide in the background better.

-I think it’d sound better with more reverb and compression, but adding too much makes it sound tinny.

-I know actual singing quality is unimportant in Kpop, but when recording myself, it feels like the overall tone of my singing and hitting the right notes is pretty important. Why is that?

Thanks caonima!

Recording redacted at the asker’s request.

• Yeah I can’t help with the Korean, sounds okay to my uneducated ears
• I can’t hear the computer fan, actually that’s a pretty good quality sound from an inbuilt laptop mic, what brand and model of laptop is it I think caonimas will want to know
• On the original (at 2:36 in the video above) I think the higher of the two notes is slightly sharper than in your version, that’s what you’re picking up on
• The “more more more” on the original is a replay of a sample, I wouldn’t bother trying to mimic it, unless you want to mimic it by also sampling
• The track needs vocal compression a LOT, this is mandatory on any pop music recording.  Reverb is more optional but if using I would only use a tiny bit.
• Singing quality isn’t important in k-pop because people use pitch-fixers.  So use one if you struggle to hit notes, in 2021 there’s no shame in it.  However what IS more important in vocals is projecting character through your voice and sounding confident, so work on that.

1 – You got a degree in music, right? How did your family react? Personally, I have a very “you should become a doctor” kind of family, and I really can’t imagine all the shit I’d get if I decided to pursue something like design or whatever (even though it does look kind of fun). How’d you cope with all the family pressure, if you went through it?

2 – How does one deal with a kind of strict, high-expectations style parent? I kind of snapped awake to that fact when I was talking with my mom about how my school wanted my class to take this one test for extra points: it was a 90 question test that you should make in the time span of 5 hours, and if you nailed 45 or more of the questions, you’d get a bunch of extra points… or something like that idk

All was good, I did the test, and surprisingly nailed 76 out of the 90 questions, told her about it since she asked about the test, and she said “good, but you could’ve been better.”
I know I could’ve been better and all and that I could’ve aced it, but, really man? I know I wasn’t perfect, but I was pretty good. I wasn’t really expecting her to be too nice and motivating about it (as sad as that might sound) since the stake’s so high for me that the ‘regular’ grades are in the range of b+ to a+ only.
I wouldn’t care about that too hard, but it’s the fact that she treats me like I smoked weed or did something like that when I simply didn’t do too well that makes me feel very, very frustrated about it. It feels like she always has shit to say, that is, if I’m not perfect all the time academically.
I don’t mean this as in “oh my god, I do so well, why won’t she compliment me” kind of way, but rather as in “oh my god, she always complains, why can’t she just leave me alone with my things” kind of way. It’s not that I don’t want her advice or that I don’t her to call me out when I’m being irresponsible, but I just kind of wish she did that in less of an oh-my-god-you’re-so-fucking-bad + threats way, but more in a it’s-your-responsibility-so-watch-out kind of way. Oppar, what should I do about it?

My mother was just amazed that her lazy son with average school grades and no career prospects got into university at all.  Her main concern was the cost of tuition, not the usefulness of the degree, although she was concerned about that too.  We didn’t live together at the time though, plus I had thrown so many life curveballs by that point, that she was used to getting strange news and dealing with me doing weird things so I think she took it fairly well all things considered.  She’d often joke that one day I’d come home and casually tell her that I just joined NASA.  At least I think she was joking.

The other stuff is just your mother trying to “motivate” you to be better in her strange way.  That’s what they do.  Don’t let it get to you, just do your best.  She means well.

I’m often approached for advice (I’m generally viewed as levelheaded and empathetic which is probably why.) But sometimes after listening, reviewing the situation, and offering my advice, people decide to do exactly what I would have done in the situation. It creeps me out a bit, because I worry that I was convincing them what I would have done in the situation instead of seriously considering their needs and circumstances. It reminded me of when you’re put off when people agree with all your opinions. What should I do about this? Is it a problem? Should I stop giving advice and become more of an active listener?

If you’re approached – no problem in giving it.  Just add a disclaimer – “if you follow this and bad shit happens, it’s your own fault, I take no responsibility for your dumb ass”.  I figure that in my case my reputation is my disclaimer.  People know they’re asking questions of English language k-pop media’s highest-profile unapologetic piece of shit, so they should take any advice for what it’s worth given the source.

What’s your favorite overall food, favorite Korean food, and favorite salad?

Good quality chocolate, Korean friend chicken (the way I make it, not any restaurant’s version), Vietnamese style salad bowls with either tofu or beef slices.

Hello! Hope you’re doing well.

I’m a recent graduate and I’ve been working at a casual job (once a week) for a while now while trying to find a full time job. But now I’m not too sure of what I want to do about the casual job.

At first the casual job was not too bad and while I do admit that I wasn’t a great employee at the start I’ve gotten better now. However, now at the job I feel like I’ve taken a lot more responsibility and it’s making me extremely nervous and anxious about working there. The responsibilities have piled on because ever since COVID the workplace has been a lot more strict regarding protocols and such. Also for the job there used to be at least 2-3 people I’d work with for the whole shift but now they’ve been moved to a different sector and I only work with them for maybe a few hours or so.

This has made it so that I’m the ‘main’ worker at my area and a lot more of the heavier responsibilities have been put onto me, to the point where I’d be randomly contacted outside of work hours regarding what happened during work (I recently got reprimanded regarding an issue and so I’ve been a lot more careful and anxious for everything that happens at work).

Another thing is I feel like my boss prefers my coworkers as opposed to me. My boss’ attitude towards them feels a lot more friendly and lax while for me it often feels like my boss doesn’t really like me at all (which I don’t mind but I wish it wouldn’t reflect in his attitude towards me at work). I’ve tried to ignore it and just work hard in hopes of not disappointing my boss but its something that weighs in my mind too.

I recently had a chat with my coworker regarding wanting to quit this job (I had said when I find a full time job but I’m not too sure because I just want to leave the place) and they basically had implied that it’d be bad if I quit because I’d be fully jobless and I’d be pushing a lot of my responsibilities suddenly onto everyone. They think I should just push through it until I can find a full time job.

Sorry for this huge block of text that’s very vague (don’t want to give out any specific details of my workplace) but my question is what would you do in this scenario? Would you still stay at the job or quit?

I’d keep the casual job personally.  If you weren’t a good employee to start with, plus have been reprimanded recently, no wonder the boss is a bit cynical about you.  You gotta look at this from his perspective a bit – can he trust you?  If you can show and prove that you’re better than he thinks, eventually he might change his tune, but that will take time, in the meantime of course he’s going to have his eye on you – why wouldn’t he?  Mind you it’s just casual and you’re not there forever so you also have to decide how many fucks you give.  Personally I’ve had great success in casual employment by taking it as seriously as possible, if you can prove that you give a fuck it might make your situation better.  You might be thinking “well why would I want to do that” and the answer is that between the hours of X and Y when you’re at work, you’re at work, so you’re going to be having a shitty time no matter what, so you might as well at least be good at your job.  It’ll give you something to focus on, and things will start to go smoother for you.  Still look for full-time work of course – assuming you want it.  Most jobs in my industry are casual, I throw myself into each one, and I always get asked back, plus with a casual job I have more flexibility, so I’ve never felt the need to go full time.  I haven’t worked an official “full time” job since mid 2000s and probably never will again.

Recently I found these following “kpop song remakes.”

Rock version of “Paradise” by Siyeon:

Metal-y version of “Wanna” by Kara:

I never really got what you meant by “Wanna” basically being a metal song until I realized how surprisingly okay it sounded with distorted guitars all over it. I think the original fits a lot better, but still. As for “Paradise”, I think it sounds better with the replaced instrumental.

Do you think the instrumental additions sound good? Are most kpop songs improved by the addition of guitar?

I like the instrumental choices in the remade songs, but the production quality is obviously far worse, especially in the Kara song which just sounds too harsh.  The Dreamcatcher song is better but it lacks the original’s high-end so it comes off sounding flat.  Guitar only really helps a song if it’s a song that lends itself to that style, obviously these two songs do but it wouldn’t work as well if you tried to heavy-up a song that was written with keys more in mind.

Girl groups are hugely popular all over the world. However, in real life, many girls living together is literally snake nest, that nobody would truly be interested in. Am I right?

This is kind of what I’ve been telling people for nearly a decade now – any group of girls living together, I don’t care who they are – there’s gonna be fights, bitchiness, backstabbing, gossip, power plays etc… trust me, your favourite groups do NOT get along.

yoooooo oppar, are there musicians/singers/music industry worker memoir, (auto)biography that you’d consider worth reading? I’ve got my hands on the “Dreamgirl and Supreme Faith: My Life as a Supreme” you’d talked abt in one of ur posts & was wondering if there were others of note you know of!

Frank Zappa – The Real Frank Zappa Book

What exactly makes up a Pet Shop Boys chorus, a la Sunmi or Fanatics Flavor? I can definitely hear similarities when I listen to songs like Suburbia, but I don’t really understand the songwriting aspect.

Just the melodic choice is similar, and also very squared-off rhythms.

Did u ever tell your own story about how u discovered music in the 90s? Ok, let me tell you mine since you can related to my age.
I mean to sound like an old fart, we had this place in the USA called “CD LISTENING BAR” that predates MP3s. It sounds exactly like it is, but there was no booze. You sat around a bar style area and you could ask for any handful of CD’s to listen to on headphones. Although there was no booze, u could get get coffee.

So I’d go there every weekend, listen to 5 or 6 and end up buying as many as I thought were good. It was usually 3 or 4 cds. I thought this idea was genius as you could see the mass amount of people in that store in any given time, and they had this huge library of CD’s no one else had. (Metal, dance music, underground anything, POP too) They easily blew out any of the other record stores by 10x. This was great as I ended up never getting a piece of crap with one or two good songs. Those guys saved people a lot of money and it was a fun thing to do with a friend. LOL how times have changed, going to Youtube to search music is a solo activity haha.

Predating that, I just traded dubbed cassette tapes to people at concerts and high school. There were also compilation cds that came in magazines and stuff.

My first exposure to any music at all was classical piano lessons, which I received from age 5 I think (although my parents didn’t have a piano, they bought a cheap keyboard at first).  My parents got me these because I became fascinated by a children’s book that was all about music, but when I learned how to play I didn’t actually like any of the music I was learning.  The first music I actually enjoyed listening to were tunes that accompanied computer games on the Commodore 64, the “gaming machine” of its day.  I didn’t know it at the time but a lot of those songs were actually chiptune versions of commercial pop songs.  I also started watching the Top 40 countdown of pop hits on TV, and listening to the radio where I discovered Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd.  From there I gradually started getting into heavier music, which caused me to want to play guitar instead of piano so to my parents’ great displeasure I quit piano lessons and started guitar (my Dad bought me the shittest acoustic guitar ever, which I still own, ask to see it on stream hahaha).  I also started watching ABC TV’s “Rage” late at night which was cool because sometimes they had good stuff that was completely different, this was my first exposure to extreme music styles, independent music etc.  A CD listening bar would have been great but my town had no such thing, I just had to buy stuff and hope it was good, magazines devoted to music were useful for that.

you seem to have lots of knowledge about fashion and music but do you have any about music videos (cinematography, lighting, angles, narrative)? no pressure, i just genuinely don’t know. if you do, some music video reviews could be cool. noir by sunmi, twenty-three by iu, and instagram by dean all have great music videos 🙂

I’ve been on music video sets but only as either a guest (usually accompanying someone I was dating at the time) or a performer, I’ve never been trained in it or clued in on the technical aspect, I just have seen a lot of stuff and watched them do the thing a fair bit, so I know loosely how the thing is done in a broad sense.  I couldn’t give you a technical breakdown of shot methodology or anything like that.  Would be boring to read anyway, I’m sure.

How do you feel about vocalfaggotry of this kind?

(You only need around 20 seconds to get the general idea.)

When I use the term “vocalfaggotry” (which is rarely these days as I’ve kind of stopped talking about this just due to having covered it off already so much and I don’t wanna sound like a broken record about it) I’m either talking about:

1. singers singing too much for the material, or
2. “vocal analysts” overly picking apart material for “evidence of vocal talent” when it was largely machine-made and/or computer-altered and/or completely faked in the first instance

In the video above, neither of those two things are the case.  While I don’t particularly like the music here, what the singer is doing is obviously appropriate for that style of music, she’s not singing anything other than the notes on the page, unlike a lot of modern R&B singers who get the notes on the page and just disregard them and go wherever the fuck they want.  Big difference.

I agree that Slipknot don’t write very interesting riffs by metal standards but can we at least agree that in terms of composition and arrangement, this is a really good pop song

Eh, I’m not really feeling it.  I never really got the hype around this group even back when they started and actually had a lot of hype.

Idk bout u but I wanna be fucked till I’m dead by wonho. would you have sex with him even if you straight because I think we all would have sex with him lul. His tits are the biggest in the world.

I think that would traumatise Wonho actually.  Think of the man’s feelings, he doesn’t want to be branded a murderer just because you have a fetish.  Please show some decorum.

Hi Kpopalypse oppar! As dedicated readers know, you’re into some “noise music”, like, the *actual* genre. “Noise music” has been misused by K-pop fans for years now and might be a synonym for “boy group song I dislike” now. Do you have thoughts about this? It irritates me how K-pop fans persevere with badly describing songs with a pretense of authority.

Yeah I always laugh about that.

What k-pop fans think “noise music” is:

What “noise music” actually is:

I know you dislike Jpop, but do you have an opinion on Japanese game and anime OSTs? I don’t watch much anime or play many games, but I do enjoy Joe Hisaishi’s work. He’s the composer for Hayao Miyazaki’s (Studio Ghibli) movies.

The songs fit the context of the films okay.  But it’s not something I follow.  Sorry I’m too busy listening to the 235 k-pop song submissions I get each week!

1. I notice whenever you talk about anime or some animated mv from roundup, you say it’s lazy animation. What would be considered non-lazy animation? Something with less shortcuts?
Are there any animated movies/shows/vids that you like?
2. I work as a dental assistant but my boss is retiring soon. What jobs would you recommend to someone who doesn’t have a college degree yet?
(I can’t be a dental assistant again ‘cause the only reason I got that job was because my mom works there, and I’d rather not deal with bodily fluids)

The best quality animation ever is the original Disney aminated films from the 1940s and 1950s.  All hand-drawn, every single frame, completely smooth, no cheating by using zooms to imply motion or any of the other tricks lazy Japanime does, sheer quality.  I don’t really like those films much and haven’t even seen that many of them, but whenever I see an excerpt from one I’m always blown away by just how right they got it.

Dental assistant probably pays decent, seriously stop being so fucking squeamish.  What’s a few bodily fluids here and there.  I’d be a mortician if it paid well and they let me do it.

Hello oppar, on your round-up posted 17/5/2021, you wrote “they’re using brushes on the snare drum to do that slow swirly thing. All drummers know this is an offence against music. Cancelled.”. I’m not a drummer or musician at all but I know I’ve seen it done many times in movies, etc, I was curious abt what’s wrong abt it? Does it damage the snare drum?

It doesn’t damage anything except my ears, it’s just that stupid lightweight jazz style drum playing and I wanted to take yet another opportunity to shit on jazz.  Imagine having a drum set in front of you and being too much of a pussy to even hit the drums with a stick.  Boo.

Hey Kpopalypse, I wanted to ask some stuff related to Twice’s Likey:

So, I’ve been around kpop for a while now and I also got into your blog quite early in my kpop phase, so yeah, thank the lord you prevented me from being pulled into the “Look at us, we’re having SUCH a great time and our company treats us so well and we’re all so happy” image. I actually ended up finding this song by accident, and ended up liking it a lot. All was fun and I thought it was basically another no-brainer happy song, until I turned on the subtitles, and I got chills. I still do everytime I see them. So, yeah, my questions are:

1 – How the fuck did everyone let the lyrics pass by as nothing creepy or unsettling or whatever? I remember seeing a Likey edit that was showing the lyrics, and all the fans were like “ooh, this is such a sad song” but moved on rather quickly. Why didn’t this cause some sort of outrage or whatever, like all these pointless scandals?

2 – Is Likey meant to be some next level emotional trap or something? I mean, I already know that the kpop industry is a meat grinder emotionless piece of shit, but are the company acutely aware that most kpop fans know this – and decided to use it as a way to be all “our idols work so fuckin’ hard for y’all, please show them some empathy you bag of useless bones, also give us all of our money which is totally going to your beloved idols”, or am I misinterpreting it? Don’t get me wrong, I definitely feel bad for the girls, but I also know that they weren’t the ones who wrote the song or anything, and I’m not naive enough to think that “the songwriters or the company felt bad”.

I swear, the kpop industry creeps me the fuck out, I only really stay for the music now..

The following video answers your questions. 

To be honest, a lot of the time these guys overreach, but here they get it almost 100% spot on.  I don’t have anything to add.

Oppar, I’m a high schooler with undeveloped social skills since I tend to be very private and shy sometimes, but I’ve been working on that for a bit – mainly with people that I need to recconect with within my family since it’s easier for me to talk to them than, say, a stranger, – and i have a few questions about it ( I do know that you may not be the best person to talk about this, but hey, you do have some experience, so I might give it a shot)

1 – How hard was it? Did it feel forced or even cringy when you first started to slowly crawl out of your shell? I tried to do this today, and I felt pretty awkward, but after the very start, it was fine. I was proud of myself but also really confused as to why that was so challenging to me… is this normal?

2 – Is it okay to be selective, aka trying to put some more effort into a few relationships than others? I already am aware that I shouldn’t judge people and be friendly to whoever I meet, but the thing is, being honest, I don’t find many people very interesting at all. Yet, I feel kind of shitty because I start thinking “what if that person is really interesting, and I was wrong about them?”
I try not to make too many assumptions since I’ve recently been trying some stoic philosophy stuff, but it feels quite hard since I’m still a newbie.

3 – Do you have any sort of tips or whatever that could help me out a little, even if it’s a little bit?

4 – What are the best ways to get to hang around with people in the middle of this whole quarantine thing (that doesn’t include social media since, oh boy, the experiences I had there were questionable and highkey extremely concerning)

1. Yes, difficult.  You kind of have to force yourself, however once you’re in it’s not so bad because adjust.  Like diving into cold water, just doing it all in one hit and experiencing the mild shock is better than slowly letting the cold water creep up your thighs as you inch in.
2. Don’t feel bad for judging people – you should judge people.  We all do it.  Just be sure to judge them on criteria that actually makes sense i.e not superficial stuff.
3. Yes, see answers 1, 2 and 4.
4. I hung out with people a whole lot during quarantine because I picked up “essential service category” work which involved much human interaction.  There’ll be people needed for this type of thing so why not try it?  It doesn’t have to be paid, volunteer work will do.  Just an idea.

so, i’m a regular reader of your blog, and i’ve already read enough to know that you shouldn’t be too reactive about stuff and be more cynical, but i feel like i’m still unstable about that, and that my emotional control isn’t the best… is it like a skill that you can train and you get better over time? pls help me oppar

also, have you noticed how people who tend to use too much labels always end up outing you out of debates? i’ve always been very interesting in debating and I think it’s a great way to learn things, but people nowadays are so afraid to go against the grain of their own conceptions, to ask and to learn that they just label you as something bad and move on… why do you think this happens so much, oppar? is there any way to get around it so i don’t have to be labelled 403 different things, all with a negative connotation, to get to the trufax and to a productive conversation/debate?

If you’re not that cynical yet, don’t worry, following k-pop for a few years and experiencing all the rapid-fire disappointments will fix you right up.  Let’s talk again about 20 “comebacks that I know are going to be great I just know it gosh I’m really looking forward to this” from now.

If you want to get into debating plus get good at it, you’re going to have to get used to people delivering low blows.  It happens to me all the time and I don’t even want to debate people, I couldn’t even give a shit if the whole universe thinks I’m wrong.  I’m not after anybody’s vote, I just want to write my stuff the way I want to write it.

Hey kpopalypse oppar, so, I’m a foreigner who has some intermediate english and I’ve been wanting to take some english tests and write some essays, both for academic reasons and because I also want to speak english fluently, so I can maybe move on to another language. Got any tips for someone who wants to be more eloquent, witty and overall wants to write better? I know it all comes down to practice, but since you’ve been writing blogs for a long time, I thought that you were the right person to ask stuff like this. Cheers!

The #1 tip I can give anyone who wants to get better at English, whether you’re a native speaker or not: don’t learn online, and ignore the English usage you see online.  Instead, read books, and try to note and copy the English usage patterns you see in books.  Prefereably not recent books, but books written pre-Internet, the English usage standards in any book written more than 30 years ago are almost universally excellent, because back then it was hard to publish a book, not anybody could just do it like you can these days.  Whereas nowadays people just write any old shit, and online it’s even worse. 

Hiya, i know you mostly care about individual songs but which kpop producer(s) do you like most based on their production discography? I know of Black Eyed Pilseung since they helped produce several Twice and Apink songs, and most recently StayC. Also Sweetune for producing songs for Kara, Spica, and Rainbow.

I don’t track this.  I only really know who does what because my readers tell me!  So for all I know the producers I “love” also produced some fucking crap, I don’t know.  Experience has taught me it’s not a stat worth tracking.

What do you think about this “trend” of forcing gay/bisexual identities on canonically heterosexual characters (OR EVEN REAL-LIFE CELEBRITIES) whenever they show friendly affection to a person of the same sex? Or when men have moments of vulnerability and women act tough? Because personally, as someone who is not straight, I really fucking hate it. I think it’s ironic as hell when people who are not heterosexual themselves stereotype a feminine, touchy-feely kind of guy as gay or a masculine woman as a lesbian. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this (apologies if you’ve answered something similar before).

I think it’s one of the problems of this Internet culture we have now where everyone over-reaches all the time and is always looking for the LGBTIQXYZABC in absolutely everything.  I mean sometimes it’s obvious, like Siwon, but generally speaking I think it’s really tedious.  Mind you it doesn’t bother me or anything because I’m not exactly plugged into celebrity culture 24/7 to the point where it would bother me.  People give far too much importance to being “represented”, which when you think about it is just another version of conformity, “I’m not valid unless I see something else that looks like me” – fuck that.  You’re valid, we all are, and the media won’t help.

I was watching this performance and found the bit starting at 2:08 interesting. If you cbf to watch the video, the singer records herself singing on stage, loops the sample, then records herself singing a higher harmony part and so on to build up a backing vocals track. I was just thinking about how it must be difficult to make this sort of thing work, as surely any live recording would also have a bit of the instruments around her as well. Of course, maybe this is completely mimed, in which case is it ever feasible to make this live recording and looping work?

It’s not that hard, looping machines make it pretty easy.  You just need a good sense of rhythm to be able to get everything to sync up without sounding too messy.  You can watch Reggie Watts doing the same thing here at about the three minute mark.

Still could be mimed though.  If nothing else she would have needed someone else to stop the machine for her (can be done remotely from the mixing desk).

Could you ever please write a lorem ipsum about kpop? or even better, about LOOΠΔ? Your readers who are also lazy programmers would appreciate A LOT

And then:

I’m the one who asked for a lorem ipsum of kpop or LOOΠΔ and i just found one of the latter so I share it with you:  BUT my offer of the kpop one still stands, of course ONLY if you want (don’t forget about consent!)

This is cool, I don’t know how to actually use it though.  I’m a bit dim with Github and programmy stuff.

Week 500 of asking internet strangers for personal advice:
I’ve never considered myself superstitious. However, recently I’ve become fascinated with tarot cards – mostly the designs and the history – and for whatever reason, I’m considering going to a psychic for shits and giggles. Ironically enough though, the thought of drawing a card with a negative meaning or an overall bad combination of cards makes me feel VERY apprehensive about the whole thing, because: what if it ends up being correct? I know I’m being really stupid and overthinking it, so, here’s my question: should I suck it up and go through with it?

I wouldn’t worry about it.  All fortune-telling relies on a certain sleight-of-hand where things are either stated in very general terms, or open to such vast interpretation that many different possibilities can fit the box.  That way the person receiving the information is compelled to match it to what their own preconceptions of themselves are.  Do it if it tickles your fancy.

Dear kpopalypse oppa,
So you already heard the hot sauce song from NCT () judging your roundup. They deadass turned the chacarron into their chorus.
I don’t have a point I just wanted other people to laugh along with me even tho this will probably be a meme in a month

More like it’ll just be praised by NCT fans and forgotten by everyone else.

I have a question. I’m new to dating since I’m quite young and I was coddled by my parents till I moved out. I’m quite paranoid about sexually transmitted disease. I know people can gain herpes by kissing which isn’t very sexual and kissing is a common thing. When I do date I just wanna ask right off the bat “do you have lip aids”. I don’t know what to do because I don’t wanna kiss a man then get herpes. Like if I asked you on a date if you had herpes how would you react? Would you be offended because it’s kinda like calling you a whore. Thanks bye 🙂

Don’t ask that shit to people, nobody cares.  Herpes is the most benign sexual transmitted disease ever.  So you get a cold sore once every six months for a week, so what.  Just make sure he looks clean and you’re good to go.

For some reason when aoa was big I would always see people talking about jimin and how she has a good body and butt. I’ve always thought she looked like a bony rat that crawled out of hole. Same with seolhyun I thought she had a decent face but not so much the body. What do you think? I think to this day that choa has the best body and face compared to the other girls.

Since we’re counting people who have left, Youkyung all the way.

But failing that, yeah Choa.

Seeing LABOUM’s Journey to Atlantis rising up Korean Charts,  , what’s your roundup review for this track? Do you think this “bringing back overlooked songs” is just a very short fad within the Korean GP?

I don’t think I reviewed it back in the day.  It’s okay.  Enjoy the fad while it lasts – because it won’t.

Why do people still buy into shit like the Soshi Bond when you have Jessica all but openly admitting everyone in SNSD wanted to strangle each other?? Wouldn’t it be more “woke” of kpop stans to acknowledge that because it’s one of the systemic issues that causes all the mental health issues everyone seems to care about? Also, she looks better than ever.

I’ve never been wild about Jessica’s appearance but I support her as a true caonima for causing friction in one of the world’s biggest groups because people were being dicks.

Do you ever watch any Korean streamers?

Looking at my list:

VelvetTube, Shannon Williams, Cheska, Ailee maybe if I ever catch a stream… that’s about it.

I did not expect you to not like STAYC’s ASAP since it has the things you like : simple yet catchy chorus, not much vocal-faggotry, a great instrumental that is synth heavy and its beats play well, etc. What made you not like it musically-wise?

The melody writing just isn’t that good, it’s all that juvenile style random-ass major melody and it really doesn’t have much of a chorus with just that bland “ASAP” chant, there’s not really enough there to get into.  It’s not awful but it sure as hell isn’t even 10% of the song that “So Bad” was.

Like I don’t want to be that normal dick that asks you to listen to a B-side

That’s good, I removed the rest of your question so you wouldn’t be.  I just saved you!  Be grateful.

I’m simply curious. I’ve never heard your opinion on the early Nine Muses songs, like No Playboy, Ladies (no MV but it’s considered the second title track of their first single album), News, Dolls, and Glue. I think the other songs that I did not mention were already covered in your end of the year list and old haiku reviews. And, I knew that you liked “Ticket” because it was briefly mentioned at the end of the bonus random video of the week. So, I would love to hear opinion on the songs.

Don’t I do enough reviews of things?  Damn.  “No Playboy” is crap.  “News”, “Dolls”, “Glue” all reasonably okay. 

You’ve mentioned before that good music can come from anywhere, so why are some groups so consistently mediocre? Or even worse, end up only churning out trash despite having some quality releases in the past (like BTS)? Also, on the topic of BTS, why has Gfriend had one of their most quality years ever since joining Big Hit while their label mates have just made even worse music? On that note, why is Jpop so consistently crap? Really, I’m just wondering why people can make bad music despite having all the necessary resources to make something good, so it’s no longer a financial issue.

It’s a combination of blind luck, who is involved, plus whatever instructions people are being given during the songwriting process.  Obviously all of this is a subjective determination though.  Most people who write bad music think they’re writing the best music ever.  Who knows, maybe they’re right?

So a certain fandom went through A Thing a few days ago where they were attacking Big Name Fans and fanfiction accounts. Most of the attackers were 14 year old kids looking for [very offensive word removed], but I’m curious about your opinion on real person fanfiction. Is it as disgusting and invasive as these teenagers make it out to be, or is it just writers using real people as character stand-ins? I tend to think most kpop artists aren’t trawling through Ao3 looking for fanfic of themselves, but I also know I wouldn’t ever want to make an artist feel uncomfortable writing something sexual about them. But I just don’t understand all the fuss about RPF. It’s fiction, nobody believes this shit is real.

Please don’t use slurs in my QRIMOLE thanks.

Weird fanfics have always existed and always will.  It’s not gonna change.

Scholars and disco artists have long debated whether Disco Demolition Night was an outburst of racism and homophobia. Rolling Stone argued that “white males, eighteen to thirty-four are the most likely to see disco as the product of homosexuals, blacks, and Latins, and therefore they’re the most likely to respond to appeals to wipe out such threats to their security. What are your thoughts on this sentiment? And did disco (and the gays) have the last laugh in the end as it keeps spawning hits in the contemporary pop music landscape, e.g. the recent disco revival in east and west?

I think that’s reaching.  No doubt that was a factor for some, but generally speaking, it wasn’t what made that event huge.  You need to understand how huge disco was in the late 70s, something people studying it today would probably find it hard to wrap their heads around.  It was everywhere.  With any huge movement, when it’s new, there’ll be a backlash, and the bigger the movement, the bigger the backlash.  You see this pattern over and over in popular culture.  These people didn’t have anything against blacks or whatever, they just wanted disco gone.  There wasn’t a similar “funk sucks” movement, because funk didn’t reach such overpowering levels.  Back then there were rock and metal bands doing disco tracks for crossover appeal.

Ultimately all genres become part of the popular canon in some form.  Disco will always be with us, it’s not going anywhere.  It won’t always be the “hottest thing” but it’s not going to completely die within our lifetimes either.

I guess the time has finally come that it’s my turn to come here and ask for life advice completely divorced from kpop. Usual speal I’ve read your blog off and on for a long time, but started reading the posts as they come around the start of 2021, used to only check your site a couple times a year and only read a few posts, now that I’m reading more posts like roundups and qrimole i guess I too am not immune to parasocial relationships with australian old fucks.

I’ve really been struggling with talking to people since the pandemic has begun, i only ever talk to my roommates or my dnd group in person and I’ve really never been good at speaking to people and making connections — not enough that it was negatively impacting my life and i’m thankfully good at public speaking in the very least — but networking has always been something I’ve been very incapable of. I’m graduating college very soon with a BA in Theater Arts, and I’m not regretting my degree or anything, I’m very passionate about and good at theater. It’s been really dawning on me as I’m taking my final courses though, that so much of my future career will hinge on making connections and networking, and it’s starting to become legitimately terrifying. I’ve got a decent resume now, a bit better than most of my other graduating peers honestly, but the idea of actually getting hired for anything is starting to seem impossible, I worked a bit in the theater industry outside of a school context before starting my degree, so I’m already well aware of how much networking matters. Quarantine has made me ridiculously rusty in my people skills already.

I’m honestly starting to think I might have full blown social anxiety. I’ve tossed around the idea in the past but mostly blew it off because it wasn’t really affecting me all that much, in primary education I already knew everyone because I was in a small town and my anxieties didn’t really get a chance to rear their head. In college the first year or so was rough, but the theater department is very small and theater kids will be theater kids, I made decent connections and my lack of social skills didn’t end up being much of an impediment. Out in the real world though, I have no experience, especially as a creative freelancer, which is my current goal. I know I should probably go see someone and get on some pills or something, but I’ve gotten so scared of talking to people that actually contacting a therapist is legitimately terrifying. Maybe I’m just in my head and my resume will do the work for me, but I’m really starting to feel like I’m on the verge of a crisis. Any advice for a fuck up like me?

Well a therapist might be a leap too far right now, maybe just start with your doctor.  But you might be forming a queue behind your classmates because right now isn’t really a good time for anybody to be hired for theater work.  My groups are getting back into the swing but I’m lucky that in my country we’ve escaped the worst of the pandemic, it’s not like that in other places.  Getting employed in this type of field is hard for anybody and especially now.  However you do have advantages, you’ve got actual work experience that others don’t have, you already know some people, you know what’s required, etc.  Yes you’re gambling but the odds are good in your case.  And even if you lose – so what?  You can use a BA to get all sorts of jobs.  Most employers value a degree not for the qualification it gives you, but just for the fact that you having a degree proves that you’re the kind of person who is disciplined enough to get a degree.  It shows that far from a “fuck up”, you’ve actually got what it takes to be anything.  Maybe you could even be a writer of a shitty cynical k-pop website one day.  Stranger things have happened to me.

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That’s all for this month’s QRIMOLE!  This series will return next month!  In the meantime remember that it’s Pride month so be prepared for Kpopalypse Pride month activities!

Oh, and do you have a question that you’d like to see answered in the next episode of QRIMOLE?  If so, use the question box below, or if no box appears, click the Qri on the sidebar to open the box as a separate webpage!  Kpopalypse will return!