The Kpopalypse 2021 survey of important trufax – THE RESULTS!

Kpopalypse is back with another survey results post!  Let’s take a look at the results for the 2021 survey of important trufax!

A total of 592 caonimas filled out the survey – thank you all for your participation!  Here are the results!

Question 1: Hi! How are you? Answer in as much or as little detail as applicable.

Some selected responses and my comments.

no

This was actually statistically the most common response to this question.  This is why I do POSITIVE posts, because so many people are always so negative and need to embrace some positive thinking!

Hello oppar I’m doing mostly fine, except I keep forgetting I have a shit body so the past month(since spring is entering the north hemisphere) I’ve been going thru a cycle of Waking up>difficulty breathing>panic>remembering sinusitis is a constant in my life and alergic rhinitis that gets worse around this time>relief so like. Not great on that area but again, at least I’m alive and still covid free lmao

Good work!

I just got a trial job at a video game company. Didn’t know that that was even possible.

Also good work!

not great, super lost in life i dont enjoy anything so what do i do to even stop being so bored. i feel like there’s nothing else that i can get from life anymore sohow are you?

I’m good!  Hopefully this survey entertained you at least for a little while.  Also you should probably have a chat to a doctor.

Considering my ass is hurting because I got hemorrhoids removed the other day and all I can do is lie on my side and do this shitty survey I’d say pretty fucking well. Thank you very much, asshole.

I’m not sure why you’re thanking your asshole given that it’s giving you so many problems right now, but rest easy!

Hello sir! I am good, just keep getting headaches. On the other hand, I painted my bathroom this past week (which included stripping the existing wallpaper, using spackle to fill in holes, sanding, and priming — my husband helped a little bit and coached me here and there but that was the extent of his involvement) so now I feel like I have a better shot at contributing to society over my lifetime than my previous not-able-to-paint-walls-with-any-competence self did.

You’re one step ahead of my not-able-to-paint-walls-with-any-competence self.

I’m Brazilian. How do you *think* I’m doing?

Probably not that great!  All you Brazilian readers know who to NOT vote for in the next election, right?

I just watched the 4 hour Justice League cut and that’s 4 hours I could’ve spent sexualizing Wonho that I’ll never get back.

We can’t change our life choices, we can only learn from them.

Hi oppar! I’m doing good. I believe this is my 5th year of following the Kpopalypse blog, and now you’re basically my only source of Kpop updates. I don’t even bother keeping up with any other sites/forums anymore because your blog is already comprehensive, clearheaded, and hilariously entertaining to boot. Cheers and thank you for doing what you do!

Thank you for reading!

Came across your blog last Feb, it broke my infatuation with idols (damn the companies behind them know how to tailor loyalty, huh?).Got into KPop last November.  Realized Loona was my ult last January. With Red Velvet, IU, and Twice catching up as faves.  What brought me to your blog was a Google inquiry on whether LOONA had slave contracts.  I wrote a little about KPop for my local newspaper, which was syndicated by the Korean government here.  I tried to put some trufax, but I admire how you do it in your writing style and voice. Like many of your readers, I wanna say what’s on my mind, but I’m largely terrified of cancel culture.But please keep doing what you do, chief caonima!

Kpopalypse will be doing the Kpopalypse thing for the forseeable future!  Thanks for your support!

Hi! I haven’t really felt that good in a while, but it’s getting better. A lot of people in my life have been pretty terrible recently, which sucks but then, what can you do.I’m grateful that my family and I are healthy, as the situation recently got worse where I live and everything was closed again. Online classes suck tho, and I hope things get better next year.  Hope you and your girlfriend are doing great.

We’re good, thank you and good luck!

I just got a traumatic brain injury, rear ended, so I am getting stronger at home fueled by kpop rage haha.

Ouch!  Recover well and hopefully you are entertained by this post, or it at least helps you recover by making you angrier!

i unironically have corona

Quite a few of my readers were in this situation.  Best wishes to all of you who have the bug or have family members with it.  I promise to keep giving negative reviews of annoying “coronavirus awareness” songs to cheer you up.

I hate this question every single time. Internet says majority of introverts do so. But you are kpopalypse therefore i dont mind writing a few lines bc you actually have good replies to any stupid or not stupid comment unlike most humans.  Btw not great, but as always the so-called k-pop world drug makes me forget temporarily about every problem of mine just like a drug i guess.  I wanna ask how long was the longest answer to this question u have read through, and how long was the longest answer u have included in your posts im asking Bc i feel bad for writing this much.(If my answer will appear to the public pls oppar feel free to omit anything and correct any kind of mistakes )

I couldn’t tell you (I’d have to go back through many of these posts and check literally thousands of answers) but I’d put your response at abut maybe 2% of the length of the longest response I’ve had, so definitely don’t feel bad!  Anyway if the question makes you feel shitty, feel free to just type in “no” like everyone else did!

Happy that I don’t seriously stan groups. More power to fans of my age but y’all are revolving your schedules around these idols who do see y’all as ATMs. Do not lose sleep over them. Also lack of standing means when someone turns out to be shit I just cut out the music (or at least the legal way of listening to it if I’m feeling hypocitical). Is it possible to cut out everything problematic in my life? No. But I try. I’ve also come to terms with being jobless in the future coz I’m doing a drama degree lmao. Can’t even be a streamer, only white/pale girls can make serious money doing that. Proud of their hustle, just know I wouldn’t belong.

If you’re trying to cut out everything problematic in your life, you’re probably in the wrong place given that Kpopalypse is apparently the most problematic k-pop website since the one Hitler made in 1943 with punch cards.  If you are streaming give me your Twitch channel and I will subscribe to it.  Fuck “belonging” – if you want to do something, do it!  Do you think that I “belong”?

I started a new job last week, and honestly I’m feeling a bit discouraged. I’m old enough to know that I don’t know everything, and the first few months at a new job will always be intimidating. But I already want to quit and run back to my old job, because at least that was familiar. I’ll stick it out, of course, because I got a $10k a year raise and I have girl groups to support, damn it, but I just wish I didn’t have such low self-esteem when it comes to my qualifications and positive attributes.

Hopefully having this response here helps you in some way.  If you spend some of that extra 10k on a therapist to help you deal with your issues, you can probably still give some girl groups the change.

I’m literally so depressed and anxious but my boyfriend is so fucking hot and has an eight inch dick AND i’m super good at math so it’s fine; tell ur cat i said hi !

Always look on the bright side, folks.  I will pass your message on!

I am okay. I am currently in the application process for an exchange year to a (actually very good) Korean University again (the last year got cancelled due to current circumstances). Let’s hope it works out better this time.Outside of that, I am writing course papers, one about the relationship of educational opportunities and poverty development in India. I saw a very interesting documentary recently about a project trying to find high IQ pupils in poverty-stricken areas and paying to get them into a prestigious school. The dichotomy between their extremely poor environment and their new opportunities was very interesting to me, so I took that topic and made it compatible with my course (which is basically, but not only, Statistics). My docent had her fair share of doubt if I could find enough sources on it, but I was surprised just how much research there already is about poverty and the Indian case. India is a very diverse country with a high GINI (measurement for income inequality) of over 0,5 (let’s compare it to Australia and my home country of Germany, both with just about 0,3). With India being the biggest country of southern/ south-eastern Asia and a country with quite a significant economical development with some specialties attached (caste system, e.g., which reproduces status and class much more than in other countries), I can now see why many scholars chose to study it. Now I am there as well and look at the question of intragenerational social mobility of poor children through educational means. India has set the goal of providing all children with access to schools many decades ago, but they still haven’t met that. Can the expansion of access to education in India help children get out of poverty? That is what I am concerning myself with, currently.Other than that, I don’t have much to do. I passed all courses for my major (Korean Studies) that I can pass and just need to get to Korea to get the ECTS I can only get there since the exchange year is integrated into the curriculum of Korean Studies at my uni – I have to go there to graduate. I am glad I still have good contacts to Korean friends that have been exchange students at my university, so I at least have people to talk to so I don’t cripple my Korean level. Exchange students, who have been a big part of my student life due to my field of study and my part-time job at the university’s International Office, are far and few in-between nowadays. Also, my University made the switch to online learning very quickly and well (which is great), so there was no need for me to stay where I study. I am at my family’s now, sitting in front of my computer the whole day. I read articles, I write my paper and I try to learn languages more (which is hard without actually talking to people in my opinion). Can’t go out, there’s nothing to do there, no one to meet. The last two semesters have been like that now. Learning becomes really tedious and even if I actually learn, there is no real interest in it if you have to do it like that for a long time. It is not like I lack general interest in what the courses are about, but the repetition of sitting in front of my computer all day long is just really straining. Writing a paper is much better, I can assign myself the topic and a question I want to answer and don’t have to rely on how the professor wants to present the information I need. I don’t want to sound dramatic or overtly sad or something. I am still quite well and I am glad to be in a stable financial situation. Some fellow students lost their side jobs and have to resort to asking their family for financial backing. I am glad I don’t have to do that. My family is well, too. I am probably better than most. I have friends I can talk to, I have a topic to spend time with that actually interests me, and I don’t need to worry too much about how I will pay rent next month. In absolute and also in relative terms, I’d say, I am quite okay, but I’d wish things would go smoothly again. Thank You for Your time, have a nice dayI tried sending this thing several times now, why is everything so miserable

Just posting this here so you know it went through okay.

hi kpopalypse! firstly thank you for your impeccable work that brings me much joy, especially during a hard personal period. i can’t focus during the online lectures, which shows with how my grades have dropped since the pandemic. do you have ant tips on how can i stay focused for a long time? and don’t click on a random Youtube video or so? thanks in advance and keep on doing what you’re a master at, trolling the whole kpop community.💕

I just clicked on a random YouTube video and wasted 30 mins while writing this post, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask.

Idk if you care, but a while back, I sent a qrimole about a girl and now we’ve been dating for almost two years so thanks caonima.

Well done!

I live in Brazil, so yeah, not great as long as we still have a genocidal president and a surprisingly big number of people who still support him.

Yes, what is with that.

I’ve been continually spiraling into some heavy depression this past few months. Online classes are just pure torture, and not seeing my friends for the past year took a toll on me. Now half of my family is down with Covid and I’m just waiting for everything to get even worse. On the bright side, my cat has gotten even cuter lately, she learned how to open my bedroom door with the assistance of my mom’s dogs, so sometimes I get a furry surprise when napping during the afternoon.

Cats help with depression folks.  However they are not a substitute for medical treatment.

Not so well but I hope you’re doing better than meMy days have been repetitive and mundane and I am struggling to keep my depression in check – in therapy for 5 months and still no progress- do you have any advice for me so l can keep going?

Aside from “get a cat” and “see a doctor” (both of which worked for me) I’m fairly out of my depth with these depression related questions.  If your therapist doesn’t know the answer then I’m unlikely to, although I find exercise really helpful lately.

At one point you made a statement that you tried very hard to avoid people having a parasocial relationship with you. While I appreciate that you don’t try to encourage the fiction that it is a two-way relationship, I really don’t think my/our parasocial relationship is up to you — after all, when people “get to know” people in a TV show it’s not because they really think these people are their friends or like them back. Rather, it’s the simple presence of these characters in your thoughts that makes this relationship happen. Given that your posts have been a presence in my life for over half a decade I can’t help but feel like you are a real person who is in my life. Sometimes I see something and think “oh, k-pop bloger [that’s my name for you. to bad, it’s a one way relationship] would probably think this interesting” or tell one of my friends “k-pop bloger taught me what the word fuckboy means” and if you continue to put up content (and don’t block my ip or something) there is really nothing you can do about my having this relationship. By answering people’s question about personal matters you make yourself even more real. This isn’t a problem, but I don’t think you should pretend we aren’t out here having connections with your writing just because you aren’t playing some sort of stupid “my fans are my lover” game.Also, I’m OK. I’m writing something for work I am grumpy about, but that’s why it’s something they pay me for rather than something I do for free. Hopefully it is less intense soon.

These are good points.  I’m not really sure how to navigate this I guess, I just try to do what I think is the most responsible thing to do, which is to say “yes I am a person and yes you can talk to me etc but on the other hand you shouldn’t put all your emotional eggs into the basket of someone who ultimately is only going to be able to give each reader a limited amount”.

thinking about chuu

That’s the way.

Fine. i got back into kpop and discovered stan twitter. It’s hell. To one side the fans of the group attack the other members, other fans are waiting to cancel the groups by being woke and all play this fake edgy persona It’s dumb, is all performance (i hope, because with the bulling scandals some fans started to confess some creepy shit) and it doesn’t make sense.

Yes it is terrifying.  Follow Kpopalypse on Twitter for great profit (link on sidebar).

Hello oppar, I’m half okay, half not? I quit my job due to crippling and horrific mental abuse in January. It was so bad that I had enough of a case to take legal action if I wanted, but ultimately decided against it because I just wanted out. Since then it’s been 3 months, and apart from the occasional freelance gig I’ve not even been looking for a job – what surprises me is that I don’t feel bad about it? I wasn’t finding work for 2 months once and it made me so anxious I needed to take medication for it, but now I just cannot be arsed. I see so many people suffer professionally and mentally these days that I feel we’re all in the same shitty boat, and whenever I do hear back from potential employers, I recall all the suffering at my old company and somehow cannot find the heart to torture myself all over again. My family is supportive of me and I paid off a year’s rent already, maybe this is why I feel at peace? This state of mind is very new to me which is why I’m confused. Should I go back to applying for jobs with more gusto? Do I try and get a virtual masters degree? I don’t know, but I’m ok with whatever lol

I don’t know either… but we’re all in the same boat somewhat with COVID I guess.  Keep in mind not all jobs are the same.

I’m living in Taiwan which is practically the safest place to live during Covid 19, but finding a job that I like here is hard. All I can really do are just teaching jobs at some training centers and I’m getting burned out with having to act energetic with kids all the time. I’ve been thinking about getting into another line of work but it might take going back to the US and I really don’t feel like doing that. I have a new teaching job waiting for me, so at the very least I’ll have a steady income again.

Maybe you can teach older students?  Teaching lazy teenagers might pull on your energy levels less.

Hello Kpopalypse, I’m glad and grateful that your site still lasts.

Some hater on Twitter called me the “final boss of creepy k-pop stans” recently and I was actually kind of touched that they acknowledged my resilience.  THanks for your readership!

Do you really read all the replies to this question?

Yes.

Question 2: Are you excited about filling out another Kpopalypse survey, even though it’s obviously just going to be the same old stupid bullshit questions that it always is?

Most people were just bored so hopefully this survey entertained you all at least for the amount of time that it took to fill out.  That’s why I always make the surveys long!

Question 3: Important demographic question to help deeper understand Kpopalypse readership – pick your closest fit for gender x sexuality!

It wouldn’t surprise most people to know that straight male readers were the highest category here, but it might surprise people to know that at 26.5% they were the highest by a margin of only 0.5%, with bisexual females right behind at 26%!  Next were straight women at 22%, gay men at 9.1%, lesbians at 6.6% and bisexual men at 5.7%.  The final figures for gender of the respondents were 41.3% male, 54.6% female and 4.1% others, which is pretty much in line with previous results.  All the asexuals complained in the final question about not being represented here so next time I do one of these I’ll probably include them too just to see how it changes the figures.

Question 4: As it’s important as a k-pop fan to tell other people how to run their personal lives even when it’s none of our fucking business, who should Yunho be having sex with the most?

Not that it’s any of our business, but most readers felt that Yunho should trust in the skills of a professional sex worker to satisfy his sexual needs.  A sizeable chunk also felt that sex with SM Entertainment’s CEO might be a good idea, perhaps for business reasons.

Question 5: Who is more patriotic and loyal to Korea?

Brave Girls were the popular favourite, proving that knowing the rainfall on Dodko is only worth so much if you’re not also performing for the army on a regular basis.  Enjoy this short interlude in the survey results as I present to you some relevant videos.

We now return you to our scheduled post.

Question 6: Consider the following tweet by Kpopalypse.

Why is interest about Han Seo Hee so much more prevalent among females than males?

This question had mixed results but it appears that the subject of oppar’s hugs and kisses was most relevant to females, who may possibly consider Han Seo Hee an authority in this area due to her vast experience at such.

Question 7: If you were Oh My Girl’s Seunghee, would you give k-pop producer TANK a blowjob?

Interesting results from this question.  Note that nobody voted “yes” here.  Of course there wasn’t actually an option for a “yes” response, but I felt that given the nature of the question, it wasn’t really needed.

Question 8: Should Kpopalypse cover non-feature tracks more?

Of course we all know I’m not going to cover non-feature tracks, with most readers preferring the “Australian dialect” method.

Question 9: Kpopalypse hasn’t had any time yet to do some important posts, what should he do to create more time/articles?

A very evenly split set of results, fortunately I did manage to get some planned posts done since you all answered this question.  People clearly think I actually put effort into answering my Curious Cat questions instead of writing whatever is the first bullshit that pops into my head at the time.  General rule: low effort answers, but quick response, use Curious Cat.  Higher effort answers, but longer response, use QRIMOLE.

Question 10: Consider the following tweets by Kpopalypse.

Why do k-pop fans, the most performatively “woke” of all music fans worldwide, continue to visit and support a known revenge porn site?

Not many people thought that k-pop fans actually liked revenge porn, rather that any kind of integrity behind their “wokeness” (and/or knowing the history of k-pop websites) is all just a bit too hard for them.  Actually I don’t really know if k-pop fans really are the most performatively woke of all k-pop fans, but it certainly sounds right – and how do you measure that anyway.  Theories welcome.

Question 11: Rate these fanfiction ideas!

Listing from most popular to least, the ideas you liked were:

Jihyo vs Wonho: Ultimate Tiddy Committee

Chuu finds Kpopalypse blog and is deeply disturbed

Red Velvet Irene BDSM

What actually happened to Pristin?

JYP hires a new chreographer from Germany with a suspicious past

Blackpink fanwards 2239 AD

Nugus BTS and their futile struggle for fame

The responses here mainly show to me that readers have no idea what a good fanfiction idea is, because I think I could have made a great one out of the BTS idea, but maybe you’re all just a bit sick and tired of hearing about that group (aren’t we all).  Fanfictions utilising these ideas may or may not find their way into Kpopalypse content soon, although “Escape from the Idol Dungeon” actually already covers the trufax regarding Pristin!

Question 12: You’ve all read the article, but which February 2021 k-pop bullying controversy was REALLY the most aegyo?

Of course this was a predictable outcome, as anything with “aegyo” and “Chuu” is obviously going to be voted for.  April came in at a respectable second placing and everyone else here was basically in the dust.

Question 13: Let’s be honest – BTS aren’t that bad really, amirite. So what’s the real reason people hate BTS so much?

Lots of reasons had at least some traction with readers, but overall it was the fandom who were far and away the biggest reason that people felt BTS were disliked.  Also a predictable outcome perhaps but the popularity of other options was interesting to note.

Question 14: Kpopalypse’s big boobs in k-pop guide part 7 was actually a pictorial about the dogs of k-pop idols. What do you want to see in part 8?

Always a topic that deeply divides readers, the desire for readers to see cats only just managed to beat the desire for k-pop boobs (both male and female).  Note that readers who are interested in cats may also wish to check out Goo Hara’s sex tape.

Question 15: This is a video of After School’s E-Young playing guitar, from 10 years ago.

This is a video of After School’s E-Young playing the same song, just a few months ago.

Although E-Young plays well in both videos, she also hasn’t improved much at all during this time. What is the most likely reason for E-Young’s lack of significant improvement on the guitar over the last 10 years?

While many factors no doubt countributed, readers felt that it was the whirlwind success of After School which has given E-Young little time to advance her guitar playing.  Life in an A-list group with constant schedules sure is busy, and it’s to E-Young’s eternal credit that she can still play this fucking song at all, let alone many times better than myself (I haven’t had time to really practice it either) even if she still has the same technique issues she had 10 years ago.  Here’s hoping that the managers at Pledis Entertainment can stop pushing E-Young so hard and give her the time she needs to play the guitar more.

Question 16: I never even knew what “clout” meant before two days ago. It’s the worst word I’ve ever heard!

I know it, Cheska knows it, and you all know it as well.  We all hate that fucking word.

Question 17: This is a comment exchange that I had on an Asian Junkie article, which was a review of Soyou’s “Good Night, My Love”. Note for context that KoreanPuffDaddy is the article author.

As you can see, being an Asian Junkie writer for many years did nothing to increase my notoriety levels as a complete piece of shit, as I’m not even known by the other site authors as the total trash that I am, let alone anyone else. I clearly deserve compensation from Asian Junkie. Which compensation request would Asian Junkie be most likely to agree to?

For some strange reason, out of the options listed, Kpopalypse readers thought that Asian Junkie would be the most likely to opt for extra obtrusive advertising to boost the profile of Kpopalypse dot com.  I can’t imagine what would have given readers this impression.

Question 18: Do you invert the Y axis of your mouse or controller when you play 3D computer games?

Out of those who were gamers only about 23% inverted their mouse controls for 3D computer games like normal people of culture do, whereas the rest of you were heathen scum who need to reflect.  These are even lower figures for inversion that have been recorded in other independent surveys, but this might have something to do with inverters mainly being older, whereas the majority of Kpopalypse readers who game are younger and probably started playing games after inversion was no longer considered standard in gaming.  However I should remind all of you that playing games and inverting your Y axis is a civic duty.  You never know when you could one day be on an aircraft and the pilot is suddenly incapacitated – you better have learned to invert your controls by that moment.  If the pilots of Air France Flight 447 in 2009 had remembered that inverted controls are the only controls that make sense in the real world, and didn’t pull up instead of down to try and break their stalling passenger jet, 228 lives might have been saved.

Question 19: This is the video for Wonho’s song “Lose”.

Obviously Wonho is not going to “lose” in the male end of the Objectification survey for 2021. How can we help other male artists compete and give them a reasonable chance of a first placing?

While there was some appeal with some of the other options, the most popular choice was to just let Wonho dominate objectification survey results.  Don’t forget to vote when the time comes!

Question 20: What is the correct formula for calculating socially acceptable age difference between k-pop couples?

Disturbingly, slightly more readers believed in the often debunked “rule of seven” than the much more scientifically robust “fap equations“.  However a far greater percentage of you were too lonely to even give a shit about trivialities like this.

Question 21: What’s the most cringe quirk of international k-pop fans?

I don’t think we like any of these, but the inflated importance of netizen opinion is definitely the biggest cringe-inducer among Kpopalypse readers.

Question 22: This is a picture of k-pop star Oli London, with Jimin from BTS.

What’s wrong with this picture?

I don’t actually know the context of this photo myself, so like you, I can only assume that it is indeed a Photoshop and that there’s no way Jimin could have gained access to take this sort of photo in reality.

Question 23: Pineapple on pizza, yes or no?

Here at Kpopalypse.com there’s no political issue that we won’t tackle.  You can see how very divided the opinion is here, clearly a topic even more divisive than Wonho’s torso.

Question 24: Tick the problematic slurs that you currently think are acceptable to use in everyday speech. Tick all that apply. You can skip this question if you would not use any of these.

Clearly Kpopalypse readers are not afraid of a great range of problematic speech, some even stooping low enough to use “the C word”, however only a small percentage were ready to face the peril of using the phrase “BTS-pop” in everyday company.

Question 25: Consider the following tweet by Kpopalypse.

How did k-pop fans get it so wrong in 2012?

Probably all of these are true, but according to readers k-pop fans loving gossip and hating all that is good in the world is probably still the most true.

Question 26: Why won’t Dreamcatcher’s company let their fans ask them questions about Minx?

The eternal mystery of why Happyface won’t let Dreamcatcher’s fans ask the group about Minx is now resolved!  Or maybe not, look at the reaction of the two non-Minx girls compared to everyone else in the group, in the video below.  Clearly there is some serious trauma going on.

Question 27: Kpopalypse is basically just some asshole who writes titty posts, but he still gets a lot of questions about personal life advice though QRIMOLE along with the k-pop and music related questions. Why does he get so many deep questions about personal issues? (If you don’t actually ask questions of this nature, select the option you think is most likely for those that do.)

More trufax revealed about why Kpopalypse gets so many personal questions – now you know!  Note that there’s a bug in the survey, so both bits of green in the circle when added comprise the 20.4% for the “broke and cheapskate” response.

Question 28: On a scale of 1 (would not recommend) to 10 (would recommend), how likely are you to recommend Kpopalypse’s bullshit writing to a friend or colleague?

Most people would recommend!  Not sure what the story is with the people who put down a 1, but hey that’s okay, maybe all your friends already know that I’m a cunt so recommending this shitty site would be pointless.  I understand.

Question 29: Thank you for doing this survey! If you have any feedback for Kpopalypse, please leave it here! This question is optional.

Some selected responses, and my reples.

This is actually not optional lmao but I really never have much(or any) feedback to give? Like the posts I do check always mrs so yeah, I don’t have much to say other than godspeed kpopalypse oppar  However, I’m so mad that australia is almost in “covid who” territory while the rest of us in quote unquote developed nations have to live with this garbo for at least another year

Apologies for those who did the survey in the first half hour after it was released, as I did actually forget to make this question optional – I wasn’t trolling you.  Also sorry about being all lucky and stuff living in Australia, the downside is that because we haven’t been hit that hard with the virus there’s now a lot of moronic dickheads around these parts who think that COVID isn’t real just because they don’t know anyone personally who has died from it.

Please fill your Pornhub channel with softcore CockHero videos.

I don’t know what this means.

I like you stop talking about boobs

No.

Your site is awesome and I love reading it. Never stop your snark.

Thanks!  Kpopalypse is never-stopping!

Serious answer to the QRIMOLE question: you just seem like a normal, reasonable person with life experience and a clear perspective; in this day and age where everyone seems to jump at your throat at any perceived slight, it’s nice to be able to talk to someone who doesn’t judge you. This isn’t advice but I wanted to write it nonetheless.

It’s true that I try not to morally judge in QRIMOLE, and I generally keep the “my opinion on how good/bad x is” out of most of my writing in general.  I think people need to worry less about what’s right and wrong, and more about what’s true and false.

I do recommend people to read this blog all the time, but not one of them will get past the “problematic” aspect of it. Read the old posts, I mean. (Lots of history and knowledge there). The current publications are mostly, and I say this with love, shitposts. But I know Kpopalypse oppar is working hard to show us his mature charms and a new aspect of himself this time. I will expect you fondly as you pleasantly surprise us with posts unlike those of rookies. Hwaiting!

The reason for this is I’ve covered off a lot of what I really want to say about certain topics already, so going back over it feels like repeating myself.  This is partly why I’m doing music theory posts now, because it’s a way to provide more educational content beyond just the typical stuff that k-pop sites are concerned about, which I’ve mostly already dusted off years ago.

sometimes i wonder what kpop would be like if actual producers read your reviews and did something to change it up

A lot better, in my opinion!  Of course I don’t reasonably expect people to cater to just one asshole.

please mention at some point the weird focus on feet and butts in the love shake video. is that normal????? dang so many dancing shots where they cut off the girls’ heads

Is this true?  Readers, judge for yourselves!

how the fuck did you have the time to write this longass survey???

Actually it’s the results posts that takes the time – this post took about 6 solid hours to compile, not including the half hour I spent watching Velvet Tube.

Been reading your stuff for years, think this is the first survey I’ve filled for it lol. Love your stuff though, man, keeps me sane in some of the Kpop bullshit that goes on lol

Thank you, I’ll do my best!

You show more solidarity with kpop idols than any of their fans, both you and them do an activity that’s soul draining for the enjoyment of others. They perform, and you listen to hours of boring trash music.

It’s a hard slog sometimes I will admit, but finding the occasional gem makes it all worthwhile.

say hello to your girlfriend from another polish person (as i recall she’s polish too?? or if i’m wrong just say hello and hug her for putting up with kpop crap when she’s not interested)

Yes, she is!  I will pass this on.

I don’t know why you dislike BTS-pop, they have very stable vocals and lots of talent. I was watching their show and the vocals just jumped out, yolo. You’re clearly just doing this for clout, you old hag, please like and subscribe.

I blocked this problematic person.

As a stupid faggot bitch that I am, I demand more fag content, oppar! Post about queer-baiting in kpop groups, please?

Will consider!

Your writing is utterly refreshing.  I spent a few hours on a weekend afternoon reading some of your posts (including a favourites one), and that was enough to make me feel revitalized and want to reimagine some things in my life, as if I had gone on a trip (double meaning intentional).  I’m still trying to figure out *why* your writing is so refreshing.I think you nailed part of it in your favorites of 2016 post, where you said that your style is to “teach a man to fish”, and I definitely agree that it is. When I read your posts, I feel like I’m having a bunch of realizations and learning to think, which is why I feel like my mind has been expanded.  And yeah, anyone who thinks that your writing is only condescending isn’t, actually reading its full of smart thoughts. In fact, when you roll your smart thoughts in among condescending bullshit and jokes, it probably makes people think harder when they read, which I imagine results in a pretty critically-thinking readership.The vast majority of people have nothing new to say, nor interesting ways to say it, whereas you have both. I have a blog myself (that I rarely post on), and I’ve been working on putting together better ideas and writing them with a great voice without copying yours. Its hard.  And of course, your writing is just funny. K-pop is so ridiculous that one can only write about some of it properly by using satire. Thanks for writing, it makes a lot of our lives significantly better.

Thanks for your support!

Honestly your blunt, to-the-point advice in QRIMOLE is great because it’s realistic and impartial in many ways. You have no idea who I am, so you don’t give a fuck about anything…. and this in turn makes your advice perfect because there’s no overthinking involved. Thanks.

Lots of compliments in the feedback, seriously – where’s the abuse?  Where, I ask you?

you should start an ass post similar to the boobs posts

That’s actually how the objectification posts started.  People wanted asses, but I didn’t have strong opinions of any k-pop ass, so I left it to the readers to vote.  Them people wanted to vote in other categories too!

As someone who has recently discovered they are an Old, I visit your site frequently so I can enjoy the ravings of another Old who has both broad and deep taste and knowledge of music, a well-developed snark gene, entertaining writing, and cat fanciness. The only people I come in contact with who give a crap about K-pop are, like, 12 and become either horrified or enamored the moment they learn we share some interest. I enjoy spending time rocking on the virtual porch of someone in an adjacent spot on the Venn diagram of life/music appreciation. Plus, satire is my jam. RE: QRIMOLE questioners – I’ve never asked anything, which is as one might suspect. But I do have a bit of a soft spot for this feature. I find it both fascinating and amusing that K-pop fandom has chosen a curmudgeon for its agony uncle, and you tend to give reasonable, no-bullshit advice. I imagine many of the people who send questions really need more of that in their lives, and you don’t make them feel stupid for asking, even when you’re an asshole. Lastly: Did you HAVE to mention SPEED? Now I’m depressed. What a damned waste!

Sorry about the SPEED thing, I miss them too!

It was a bit hard to choose just one reason to dislike BTS and their toxic fans honestly.

ikr

Are you really Australian? You say Cunt too much, yet you never say G’day. It’s suspicious.

Yeah I find “G’day” just a little too cringe and boganriffic to actually use, but some of my friends say it.  Its usage is dying among young people.

How could you forget about Solar releasing an English OST song?

I don’t cover OSTs.

GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Ahhhh, that’s better.  The balance in the universe is restored. 

How much ad revenue do you think AsianJunkie gets on his site?

Ask him, not me!  It must be a lot for him to buy all that dreamcatcher merch.  Have you seen how much some of that stuff costs?

who the fuck does invert Y axis, moving your mouse up should mean looking up you dumb cunt

While you’re sitting at your chair, get someone to stand behind your chair and slap you in the back of your dumb head.  They moved their hand FORWARD, and your head went DOWN.  Then get them to get a piece of wire and strange you with it.  They moved the wire over you and BACK towards your body and your head went UP.  If I was writing a film about e-sports I would have a R. Lee Emery style scene where a coach schools the players in this way.  Anyone reading this who writes films please steal this idea and realise my dream.

Thanks! Love boobs and music theory!

I am here for you, friend.

Your blog is great, mate. I think you’d be an interesting person to know in real life. I don’t agree with you on everything… but I think what’s nice is you don’t seem to care about that. I like that you’re confident in your views, and even in the authority of your knowledge… but don’t think any of it makes your opinions definitive… just worthwhile. There’s nothing better than a reviewer who lays bare their own biases. I really appreciate that. Reminds me of why I always liked Margaret and David’s movie reviews, y’know?

I liked them too, they were cool, and I’d always enjoy it when they’d disagree with each other – which seemed to be a lot of the time!

More Nugu Alert articles please, and I don’t give a fuck that it is the least viewed article on your site, more Nugu Alert please.

One was posted since this survey came out – and there will be more!

You were spot on about the shit mobile ads that Asian junkie cunt uses. For the love of god ask him to use normal ads instead of the titty pornhub style

You think he listens to me?!?

WAY’S GIRLS: WHERE ARE THEY?

Where you least expect…

You made me curious about the content you publish under another name but unless you drop some big hints I will calmly remain oblivious.

If anyone finds it I will republish all of it here.

I occasionally ask questions on your QRIMOLE and it’s usually music related like regarding being in a band or teaching guitar and what not and I appreciate your feedback because I know you have experience in the industry. So, that’s all cool!

Those are some of the best types of questions, thank you for sending them!

I actually considered recommending your technical posts to friends that know nothing about kpop but ultimately didn’t because I thought it would be difficult for them to get around the kpop/kpopalypse inside jokes. Still a way more likely recommendation than anything by AJ/Soompi/<insert bad guys here>Would appreciate less kpop-based content (unlikely though, I’m aware).

Yeah I always keep it k-pop relevant to some degree, because that’s the site.  However I’ll continue to make tangenital commentary from time to time!

uwuwuwu

Thank you to all those who filled out the survey!  Kpopalypse will return!

6 thoughts on “The Kpopalypse 2021 survey of important trufax – THE RESULTS!

  1. The reason why the Love Shake MV focuses a little bit on feets simply is that Digipedi is a “declared” foot fetishist collective. In fact, even Digi-pedi means “Digital Pedicure”. You can also notice that a lot of their MVs feature girl feets. I mean, just look at Loona videos… a lot of them feature at least a feet scene

  2. Ooooh, a post about queer baiting! I second this, especially now that we had the issue with OnlyOneOf and their “oh so literal and uncomfortable, I can’t look” mv and choreo.

    Ok, ok, I admit it, I also want recs for MVs where I can see puritanical Koreans doing mildly homoerotic stuff, but it’d be genuinely interesting, if only to learn what the frick all this queer baiting buggery is and why I as a gay person should know AND be miffed instead of delighted about it; and all in Kpopalypse’s inimitable style *Zen bow*

    About the Y axis thingie, those pilots must have been a *very* special crew, because my whole experience with the inverted axis amounts to a few hours of Ace Combat on the PS2 around the time most of the current crop of Bangstans were busy being born, and even so I have the “down is up” engraved on my soul for all eternity.

    Now, and this is just me, but I’d love it if you could sort of “update” a few of the old explanation posts, perhaps make it a sort of “perspectives on such and such topic X years later” if you will, if only so that people like me that weren’t into K-pop yeeears ago can relate to them a bit more. Even though I used to find the posts enlightening and entertaining, I don’t know anything about any of the groups or events you talk about, ‘cept for T-Ara, perhaps (hell, I don’t even follow girl groups.) I’ve also wondered if you’ve seen anything about K-pop change in all your years, what with the sudden Western popularity and pandering to the West and “BTS pop” and so on, and what are your opinions on it. It seems like all the people that write about this sort of stuff, do this sort of analysis are either 1) hopelessly PC and squeamish, 2) seem to take everything in K-pop at face value or 3) just don’t have much perspective on things (bc they aren’t ancient like you, get it, get it?) or all of the above.

    So… those were my thoughts and wishes. Sorry for the wall of text. Feel free to tell me I’m an ignorant cunt or whatever (I kinda know it already, but recognition feels good)

    PS: I was glad to see another music theory post the other day. Everything I know about music I know thanks to Kpopalypse oppar 🙂

  3. Bummed, missed it this time round! Been doing too much real-life stuff methinks, and not checking my RSS feed. Thanks for the hard work this past year, hope things are going as swimmingly as possible down under.

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