It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup!  Let’s check out some new releases!

Weeekly – After School

An excellent chorus saves a song which is otherwise way too pedestrian for its own good and really needed a swift kick in the ass.

Itzy – Midzy

Probably on the upper end of the “for the fans” content in k-pop generally, but that’s not saying a lot, sadly.

Jessi – What Type Of X

I’m not sure what type of x this is but it can x off.  Some cool riffs completely trashed by Jessi being usual Jessi and doing usual Jessi things all over the top of them.  What a waste.

Seori – Lovers In The Night

Not much of a song but if you like watching people kissing and you’re too shy to click the “kiss kiss” tag at R18.com then I guess this video fills a niche.

Hwang In Sun – Beotigogae

Not enough effort into the instrumentation kills this trot song.  Right when it should be going off with a symphony of horns it’s just one weedy little keyboard noise. 

Chungha ft. Guaynaa – Demente

A reggae/ska influenced dance-pop track that actually gets the production right, which honestly is about 90% of the art with this type of music.

Song Ga In – I Like Trot

Okay what the fuck is this.  Don’t tell me it’s another COVID thing for fuck’s sake.  Can we all just form an orderly queue to get vaccinated and move on with life please.

Ellie ft. Olltii, Marvel.J, Oscar $mith – New Good Mind

Starts off not too horrible but just gets worse, by the time the Autotuned crooner with dreads so skinny you can floss your teeth with them appears, you’ve lost interest.

Mirae – Killa

Another one of those songs which doesn’t have anything horrible about it but just sounds so similar to everything else out lately that it’s really hard to care.

Super Junior – House Party

Conceptually the musical twists and turns make sense in context of the song’ narrative, which is actually one of the smarter highly unwelcome COVID-themed pieces of nonsense out there.  Having said that, two pretty awful songs stapled together that may have a lyrical relationship but sure don’t have a musical relationship, does not equal one good song.  At least we get Shindong with a flamethrower, you readers damn well know I’m going to use that somewhere one day.

Drippin – Young Blood

One day I’ll be able to get over the laughably gross name of this group and start taking their songs seriously.  Not today though.

Alesso, Stray Kids, Corsak – Going Dumb

Nobody international cares about k-pop if it’s not BTS or Blackpink, I’m sorry to say.  Look at these western artists not even make any effort for some group they’ve never heard of.

Afgan ft. Jackson Wang – M.I.A

Horrible, creepy, disgusting “soulful” crooning, the type of song Seungri plays to you in the backseat of his limo to make himself feel “sophisticated” before the rohypnol kicks in.

B.I – Midnight Blue

Some pleasing ambience and nice sounds ruined by a total lack of any kind of interesting melody writing or dynamics, it’s like they got some cool keyboard patches and then lost interest in writing the actual song part.  I was going to say that it’s sad the animators put effort into this, but looking at the animation quality that’s pretty lazy too so I guess it’s appropriate after all.

Dindin – Can’t Fall In Love Again

I mean, it’s no better than this really, and this sucks.

Dindin – Delight

Dindin is better when he’s upbeat, the song’s not great but at least he’s somewhat trying.  Maybe he should call himself “Dindindin” when he kicks it up a gear.

Rumkicks – Don’t Touch My Head

Punks singing about how they don’t want others to touch their carefully-primped hair is one of the most aegyo things I’ve seen lately.  However I wish the camera wasn’t so damn close in every single shot.  I realise that’s probably the point because the camera guy is also getting too close to their hair but it should be the music that gives me a migraine, not the camera technique.

Kim Yoon Hee ft. Jaejoo Boys – Shimmer

When you don’t have the budget for tons of nature scenes for your Yoona-esque acoustic ballad so you have to shoot it in the library and on the dirt path outside the library.

Po.U.Ryu – Namsan

Phones and scrapbooks.  Two non-interesting things that do not make good music videos.  Note for future referrnce.

Akis Korea – Never Ending Kiss

Akis Korea are on the other hand very intriguing, and I’m still no closer to working out anything about these Nugu Alerters but their video is very watchable in a “The Room” kind of way (it even has as much awkwardly staged rose-stem-clutching and angsty emoting as that film).

J.Yung ft. Dinoz – Laser Beam

Pixelating the cigarette to make people think “what if it’s weed” when it’s pretty obviously not is a cute budget touch.

Raon Lee & Crying Nut – Let’s Get It Out

Raon Lee has over 4 million YouTube subscribers, that’s over twice as many as Loona so we know she’s huge.  So I’m not sure if I’m surprised or not that this song of hers with one of Korea’s biggest rock bands is just really average and generic.  I guess that’s what it takes to be this big.

Lee Sieun – Spring Again

The song itself isn’t much to care about, but the snare drum that sounds like someone panel-beating the dents out of my last car is oddly fascinating.

Wh3n – I’m Not Me Without You

Shit piano ballads are unhealthy, but what’s even more unhealthy is creepy co-dependency.  Nobody in Korea besides Ailee has any kind of “I Will Survive” energy after a breakup, do they.  I think that’s one of the main reasons I like her (that and she exposed Johnny Noh as a shithead I guess)

Zai.ro – Farewell

All those conservative twits who complain about wind farms being noise pollution don’t know what they’re missing.  I’d rather listen to a wind turbine than this song any day.

Klau’s Lounge – Someday We’ll Be

Lounge music is a whole genre dedicated to admitting that you’re a boring cunt who has already lived your life and you’re just going to rot in your rocking chair and wait for death now.  Even I’m not this geriatric.

Lee Jinjae – It’s Okay, it’s Not Your Fault

Okay so there’s a few problems here.  Firstly, the three-finger G-chord isn’t optimal, you’d be better off teaching her the four finger variant because it makes the transition from G to D (very common as it’s I-V or V-I movement in a lot of songs) much easier due to not having to relocate the ring finger fretting the third fret of the B string.  This is a good gateway to the principle of economy of motion which is very important for guitar.  Furthermore, encouraging pinky use from the very beginning of instruction will prevent “lazy pinky” syndrome that affects many intermediate and advanced guitar players.  Also the thumb is very poorly positioned, too high on the neck, meaning that the wrist is constricted, which will prevent stretching and mobility when playing variations of the chord or moving to different shapes, this can also lead to problems with tendonitis after extended playing.  I know you’re probably just trying to get laid here but she’ll be far more grateful if she knows that you put in the time and energy to instruct her correctly. 

Movning – Dead Sea

I always make a shit pun using the band name every single time these guys get a review here, and I’m sorry for being so boring but they literally are so dull that they give me nothing else to talk about, so I don’t think I’ll be movning on from the puns I’m afraid.

LeeNu – Crying

Aren’t we all.

Weekday – Drive Me

I like it how they just stare at the plants growing.  Says it all really.

Mackelli – I Will Pretend I Don’t Know

Oh look, he’s bored as shit in front of his computer while listening to this song.  I guess that means we have something in common.

Igloo – Grooming Battle

So many cute cats in the video that this is song of the decade by default, really.  Who cares what it sounds like.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Lee Seung Chul – We Were LEE SUHYUN version

This isn’t really my favourite Lee Suhyun look, in fact I really don’t like the whole bland granny dress thing she often goes for, but I’m still glad that they made a million dollars of completely unnecessary effort to make her look amazing in it anyway.  Of course the song is poop but who cares?  Just dig the commitment to aesthetics and try to ignore that you’re being force-fed musical dried shit on a stick, you can do it if you try I’m sure.  Thanks to the 57 people who sent this in!

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That’s all for this week, Kpopalypse roundup will return next week!  In the meantime the latest Kpopalypse survey is now live, CLICK HERE if you want to have your say on important topics facing the world of k-pop and Kpopalypse readers, like pineapple on pizza, mouse Y axis invert, why won’t Dreamcatcher talk about Minx and more!