Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 17/8/2020

It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup!  Let’s take a look at some new releases!

Oh another k-pop plagiarism controversy with Seventeen in it where’s my valium

Dreamcatcher – Boca

It’s funny how whoever is writing these songs for Dreamcatcher actually thinks we want them to explore different genres in the verses.  You can just make it metal all the way through, seriously just do it, we won’t mind if you don’t waste half the running length on some trendy bullshit that dilutes your core sound, honest.

Itzy – Not Shy

Like (G)I-dle’s song the other week, the intro music here sounds absolutely fantastic and they should have built the entire song out of that cool guitar riff instead of the boring nonsense that happens when the song actually starts.  Imagine a bank robber who doesn’t even get the teller to open up the safe but just sticks the place up, steals the pen and leaves.

Brave Girls – We Ride

Should have ridden back to the studio to make a better song.

Oh My Girl – Supadupa

Rapists, pedophiles, and whoever is writing Pororo songs should all share the same wing of the prison.

Hyolyn – 9Lives

Doesn’t sound like anything Hyolyn has ever done before, but unfortunately doesn’t sound any better than anything Hyolyn has ever done before either.

Rothy ft. Chanyeol – Ocean View

What bizarre deal do you have to pull to get an EXO member on your thing.  If it’s just money then that’s cool, I’ve got some savings, I’m thinking Chanyeol could be in my podcast next.

Sejeong – Whale

Not sure what they mean by “live clip” as this certainly isn’t live, or any good.

Cheetah – So Sorry

So are we, Cheetah.  So are we.

Jessi – Numb

Jessi in “serious non-tits/ass-shaking mode” unfortunately isn’t an improvement.

BiPa – I Don’t Care

I don’t care either.

Lucy – Jogging

I hate that trend that existed for about six months in the west where a band of all dudes would call their group a girl’s name.

Treasure – Come To Me

See how the “documents” folder has a red mark on it?  That’s because the Korean government has seized that particular folder of YG’s server for “later use”.

Dustin-On – 0 (Young)

Why is there a random girl dancing with them.  Or is that even a girl and not just one of the other members in a wig?  Confused.

Rich Brian & eaJ of Day6 – Love In My Pocket

Hey this is alright, a lot better than that stupid song he did with Chungha.

Hur Hyunjun – Baragi

The only thing worse than tropical garbage is tropical garbage where they forget to add the tropical garbage.

Han Heejun – Rain Drop

The song’s not much but this is the most comments I’ve ever seen on a k-pop song with less than 1000 views.  Why not add some more just to make him feel good.  It doesn’t have to be about the song, just talk about your day or something.

Park Sungho – Heyri Girl

Korean yodeling.  I have officially now seen it all.

Super Five – Hello

When they do one of those behind-the-scenes “get to know you in the studio gosh aren’t we such loveable chaps” videos for a group you’ve never heard of, it really drives home just how artificial and constructed these type of videos actually are.

R1an – Eh Bebe

You know right from the very first squirt noise that there’s going to be nothing here of worth.

Woo ft. Cifika – Used To

What’s with AOMG making semi-listenable music lately.  It’s all very strange and is making me nervous.

Paloalto, Jerd, Reddy & Soovi – Kid Rock

This song sounds like it really wants to kick off into high gear but it never does.

Rudals – Bicycles

It’s cool that he’s out cycling with his true love or whatever but every time Koreans do shit on roads I just get worried.

Takuwa ft. Queen Wa$abii – TaKaprio

What is even the point of a Queen Wa$abii video without Queen Wa$abii actually in the video.  Don’t be a tightass, Takuwa, just pay the extra $500 or whatever to have her in it, trust me the ROI is worth it.

Xitsuh – Shadow

Very little ass-kicking in this solo from the K-Tigers member.  I understand wanting to do something different but nobody wants to hear Iron Maiden sing about soccer.

Thama ft. Nafla – Land

More of that jazz-rap style that is boring and that we all hate.

Pluma ft. Paloalto – Skrt

I feared the worst with a song title like that, and my fears were justified.

D-Hack ft. Yungyu – Shibuya Karaoke

I didn’t give UZA a pass for this type of music last week and I love UZA, so what makes this person think they’ve got a hope in hell.

Tabber ft. Dean, Kim Ximya – 3AM

Meandering slop.

Wooks – Intention

I think all that red shit on the ground is someone sprayed shit-music-disease-retardant chemicals at him to try and get him to stop singing, unfortunately he was safe because of that umbrella.

Ella J ft. M. TySON – Ocean View (Mi Amor)

I can’t wait for Northern Hemisphere summer to be over, because right now they’re not going to be able to fly to Australia or Hawaii or wherever to shoot their tropical bullshit.

Wonji – Between 0 and 1

I think Apink’s Eunji has some competition here, Wonji is even rocking the Ms. Pac Man yellow suit.

Zai.ro – Good Boy

I’m only putting this here because one of the girls in the video is thicc and there’s plenty of man-meat in this week’s roundup so I gotta throw myself a bone too just to keep my motivation up.

Lee Jun Hyung – I Don’t Know If You Don’t Tell Me

This song is dull.  There, you’ve been told – no more excuses about how you didn’t know.

Sagong – I Thought It Was Love.

Song is boring af but I really liked the video at 0:23 because it brought back memories of being broke and playing with broke shitty punk bands where nobody owned a mic stand so we’d try and create a “frankenstand” by gaffing together bits of all the broken stands we had lying around that didn’t quite fit, and they’d always last a few songs and then fall the fuck apart and we’d have to do it all again.

Summer Soul – Junkfood

I don’t think I’ll ever eat burgers and chips again.

Baek Juyeon – Color

I want to tell her the teddy bear isn’t sentient just to watch her sulk and get mad, because I feel like that information, while true, would go down very poorly.

Joody – Lucky Charm

This is like To-day’s “Secret” if they didn’t have a good song, or Yongma Land.

Seo Gi – Homework

If you’re doing book animations and it’s not of two people fucking, you’re wasting your time.

Hurricane Kimchi – Stronger Than You Think

It’s nice that he’s all gay and stuff and good on him for being him (or her) but I really wish he’d take a leaf out of Rob Halford’s book and use that gay energy to rock a bit harder than this.

UNEXCITED FEMALE BACKING BAND IN WHITE SHIRTS AND DENIM JEANS SECTION

Yi Saebom – Come To Me

I got to admit it’s worth holding out for the chorus just to see those shuffling moves.

Hedy – You Were Not Really Good

Hedy’s band have a heavier musical style but no dancing so I think we’re about equal here.

HOT SEXY MAN-MEAT SECTION

Kerrigan May feat. San E – Sex Like A Pickle

Kerrigan May absolutely gives no fucks.  7/10 for rap and 10/10 for attitude, but 2/10 for San E’s spot just because he can’t really rap, would have rather just had another verse of Kerrigan.

N.O.M – I’m So Sexy

Yes it’s k-pop’s first strippergram concept.  N.O.M are the gift that keeps on giving.

SuperM – 100

SuperM are a project group where someone from SM looked at my objectification surveys and decided to make a new group out of all the high-placers.  Who even needs a song when you’ve got such seriously fucking good marketing.

Wonho – Losing You

I’m sure you all expected me to shit on this, but this is actually a great X-Japan tier ballad, with an intelligently-writen melody and harmonic suspensions/resolutions everywhere, easily the best thing Wonho has ever been involved in musically.

J.Y. Park ft. Sunmi – When We Disco

The granddaddy of objectification JYP also has a really good song this week.  Not sure if that chorus progression was the optimal choice but overall it’s still way ahead of the competition.  I don’t think it’s coincidence that Sunmi gets all the best songs out of JYP these days.  Someone is insisting on quality.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Esna – “Ahh, Oop!” & Mamamoo – what really happened

Esna breaks down a lot of the different ways that people can get fucked over a barrel when doing a collaboration with a popular artist, and her story is actually a really normal, common experience that is by no means limited to the Korean pop music industry.  The video is long but it’s worth the watch, especially if you’re at all interested in songwriting or the processes in which those songs can get used.


That’s all for this week’s roundup – more next week!

9 thoughts on “Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 17/8/2020

        • Funny cus I thought the verses were pretty okay (except the rather disjointed rap verse), but the chorus is way too repetitive. Scream’s chorus is very repetitive too but it still moves a bit, BOCA’s chorus gets stale really fast.

  1. To Dreamcatcher song writer, I’m still waiting for “Good Night” or harder version of “Good Nigh”t. I like most of Dreamcatcher releases but none of them can beat “Good Night” (in my opinion). ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭

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