It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out some new releases!
Chungha ft. Changmo – Play
It threatens to be good at a few points, but there’s too much tropical/latin tiresomeness and not enough of that vague hint of ska to make this anything but just another boring comeback.
Weeekly – Tag Me (@Me)
A decent song if you edit the stupid half-time drops out of it. There’s a project for someone.
NiziU – Make You Happy
A decent song if you edit the stupid half-time drops out of it. There’s a project for someone. Yeah k-pop really is that clueless right now that the same thing is wrong with all the songs.
Youngest – Can’t Nobody
These kids have beats harder than 95% of Korean hip-hop. All Korean rappers hang your heads in shame!
SF9 – Summer Breeze
Stray Kids – Easy
Some twists in the harmony help the song along a little bit it’s not quite enough to overcome the plodding trendiness of it all.
Verivery – Thunder
The dark mood of this is appealing, but it needed to go even darker to really make an impact. This is begging for a metal cover.
AKMU – World Love
Okay so it’s just an awful ad for KIA but it still has the most Suhyun content I’ve seen in a while and she’s looking as good as ever so I think I’ll be revisiting this video a bit.
N.Flying – Flower Fantasy
They’re never going to recapture the energy of their debut ever again, are they.
Grace – Planet
Another plodding song that needed to be either heavier or faster.
Yoyomi – Nonexistent
Welcome pace, but not Yoyomi’s best.
Kim Soo Chan – Hip
Kim Soo Chan (who is probably the male Yoyomi) isn’t quite hitting as well as usual either.
Zico ft. Rain – Summer Hate
“Gang” is actually a better song than this by a reasonable margin.
Lee Jinhyuk – Bedlam
Hey computer repair person, I have this problem with this weird guy on my desktop messing with my icons and yelling shit music, can you help.
Park Hong Joo – Look At Hansuwon
There’s got to be a backstory to this one that I’m out of the loop on, because it’s green-screen nuguville all the way but has over half a million views. Anyway it’s undemanding and okay I guess.
Sandeul – Smile Box
Painful like Busker Busker but fortunately not as popular. Let’s hope it stays that way.
Jang Sungkyu ft. Jay Park, Sik-K – Workman
GroovyRoom’s usual low quality where it’s all about sonics instead of songwriting.
Groovyroom ft. Haon – Daylight
They’re better here where it’s pure rap and they don’t really have to try and carry a tune because there isn’t one.
Jooyoung ft. Heize – Love Distance
I wonder if Heize will ever be on a good song.
Bobae – P.U.N.K.S.
Actually some really cool and different sounds here, but a little too much R&B influence drags it all down a bit. Stop trying to be smooth over rough beats.
Ash Island ft. Loopy – Error
It’s like a lot of the ballads Teddy used to write for 2NE1, and actually a shade better than some of the more dreary ones.
Loopy ft. Nafla – Once Upon A Time In LA
I love it how rappers actually think people want them to sound like this. Proof of their lack of intelligence across the board.
Jiwoo – Antiriver
So fucking dreary it’s unbelievable. If those drums could talk they would stay “stop hitting me I just want to sleep”.
None, Bumkey – Pretense
Bumkey continues to be useless, some reasonable walking bass lines can’t save this one.
Sujin – Shadow
Genuinely different and cool minimalist electronica, I don’t hear this sound coming out of Korea all that often.
Jaurim – Hola!
This group are huge in Korea, probably more so than just about any group you actually like. You can kinda tell when listening to them, because they sound boring as fuck. Koreans love this boring soft-rock crap.
The FunCity – It Will Be Fun
I was all ready to shit on this just for the sheer audacity of the song title, and then it actually lived up to its name. If Twice sang this song on some eyesore-colourful video instead of a bunch of crusty bums in an abandoned car park, we’d have an all-kill here folks.
Cotoba – Reyn
Sounds like it’s going for Covet vibes but you need much more different and engaging music arrangement-wise to pull that kind of thing off.
SuperJellyKing – Obirah
They’re all good doing their electro-dubstep-whatever-the-fuck-this-is-thing, and then they have to wreck it by throwing some jazz in there because Koreans can’t help themselves.
Zico – Cartoon
I’d like a cartoon where Zico gets flattened by a random Acme machine Wile E. Coyote style and stops making music as a result.
“INNOCENT” BOYS IN WHITE SHIRTS AHEM SECTION
Stray Kids – Blueprint
Not too bad actually, although I wouldn’t trust k-pop boys in white shirts, we all know where that ends.
Golden Child – OMG
This isn’t bad either although I wish they went for that intro keyboard sound instead of the one they use in the actual song.
N.Flying – E-Yo
On the lower end of the music quality tier we have N.flying who have the shirts and nothing else.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
I purposely auditioned for scam KPOP companies…so you don’t have to
No comment – just watch and learn. Starts at 0:53, you’re welcome.
That’s it for this week – Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!