AustralianSana & Kpopalypse podcast – Episode 10: 50 questions from k-pop fan hell

It’s time for the next long-awaited episode in the AustralianSana & Kpopalypse podcast!

Timestamps and transcription after the jump!

0:00 – introduction
1:00 – searching “AustralianSana” on Twitter
1:50 – radicalisation of Internet spaces and music scenes – could it happen to k-pop?
11:35 – XHamster vs NoFap
15:31 – Sailor Moon
16:29 – “tasteful (homo)sexuality”
21:28 – k-pop idol pets
26:36 – what separates the k-pop groups who make it big and the ones who fail?
34:35 – k-pop group colours
36:02 – Jessica Yaniv arrested for assault
42:20 – the return of “fuck, marry, kill”
43:18 – AustralianSana’s solution to female draft-dodgers
44:05 – Dan Petersen
45:04 – “everyone’s using BTS for clout”
48:09 – Family Guy: “harmful” or just shit?
49:49 – Kathy seems mad.
54:00 – why do ancient Greek statues have small penises?
54:59 – leaving the house without showering
56:33 – why do you think female centric fandoms seem to be the most toxic of all?
1:00:20 – AustralianSana, do you think that Kpopalypse would make a good air hostess?
1:01:00 – the son of the return of “fuck, marry, kill”
1:01:18 – do you like any KARD songs?
1:02:14 – is Kpopalypse a coronavirus risk?
1:03:38 – “screechy bullshit” k-pop songs
1:06:00 – what would you be doing 100 years ago?
1:06:57 – about Australians: accurate or no?
1:07:28 – Mondays
1:07:59 – would AustralianSana be successful in the drug-dealing profession?
1:09:04 – does Australia’s “Married At First Sight” reflect Australian beauty standards?
1:12:55 – what song is better, Girls’ Generation’s “I Got A Boy” or Loona’s “So What“?
1:13:52 – BTS at #1 in JB Hi-Fi, a noteworthy achievement?
1:23:12 – Kpopalypse finally halts AustralianSana’s ten-minute tangent and gets her to answer the question
1:25:45 – Yes we really recorded this podcast on April 20th, I’m sure you can tell
1:26:10 – what’s your favourite element on the periodic table? 
1:26:34 – are Koreaboos common?
1:31:21 – condiments: refrigerate?
1:31:55 – did you know that testicles have taste buds?
1:32:22 – Kpopalypse Extreme Makeover?
1:32:40 – would Kpopalypse make a good divorce attorney?
1:33:22 – John McAfee: “no-one should have to use XHamster
1:35:25 – mixed signals from governments about face masks
1:37:52 – Liu Yifei’s statements about Hong Kong police
1:39:25 – Disclaimer: “this one’s weird”
1:41:55 – Kpopalypse is a lover, not a fighter
1:42:28 – did AustralianSana really try the IU diet?
1:43:31 – preconceptions about Australians which annoy?
1:44:12 – AustralianSana predicts the kinky hypothetical mad scientist scenario question before it’s even asked
1:44:42 – why are there so many racist and misogynistic idols?
1:50:59 – androgynous k-pop concepts – why?
1:54:15 – why are netizens forgiving Wonho?  Is it probably the titties?
1:59:18 – conclusion

Transcription below, courtesy of a very courageous caonima!


 

KP: Hello, how are you?

AS: I’m good, how are you?

KP: Yeah, not bad at all. Good to hear from you again.

AS: Yeah, been a while.

KP: Yes, yes it has. How’s life treating you at the moment?

AS: Yeah, not too bad given all circumstances considered.

KP: *chuckle* Yes. We have a lot of questions.  Since I put the button on the sidebar that’s roundabout doubled the amount of traffic and people asking things, so we’ll have a lot to go through today.

AS: Cool, I’m feeling popular already.

KP: Yes, yes! Very much so. Just like…as if the people still mentioning you on Twitter 4 months after you deactivated hasn’t already proved that.

AS: I know, the impact!

KP: Yes, yes very much so. So, at your suggestion, I did actually search AustralianSana on Twitter and I got some fun stuff here.

AS: Yeah, there’s a few. *laughs*

KP: “This is why I hate that Idol Podcast and AustralianSana bitches because of them we all seem like crazies.”

AS: Yes, it is absolutely because of two people with a combined follower count of 500 people if we’re lucky? That thousands of people are very critical of the fanbase, it was entirely all to do with me. I’ve been exposed.

KP: *chuckle* Yes, such power. Let’s move on to…I’ll start off with a thing you sent me which I thought was interesting and I guess this is directed at myself by the look of it. I don’t know why they didn’t use the question box but that’s alright.

AS: Ah, they meant to. I think it was just more like we were chatting in our Discord server and then they brought it up like are you having the podcast soon and I was just like funnily enough it should like today so if you’ve got a question I can just pass it on directly because I wasn’t sure if you would have time to check the whole box before recording in an hour.

KP: All good. So we’ve got: I really wanted to ask his opinions on the radicalization of internet spaces in general and rise of conservative ideology internationally and where this intersects with K-pop fan spaces. I want to ask in general where do you all think these fan spaces are heading to, especially to Kpopalypse if he has any experience of this happening in other music spaces so we can roughly know what to expect? It’s so complicated with K-pop cause with how apolitical the music is, it kinda makes it more prone to being, people being used for its own political agenda. Well, within K-pop itself, I don’t really…the fanbase strikes me as extremely left-wing for the most part. You’re very very progressive people which is funny because the actual music isn’t but the fans certainly are. I guess because they’re really young and I suppose you’re talking about Western fans anyway. If you’re growing up in a Western country and you’re discovering music from another country, just that alone is probably an indication that you’re more progressive than the average person because you would actually bother to seek that out as opposed to what’s ever been given to you on your radio station. But I thought it was interesting if he has any experiences of this happening in other music spaces…well, I mean, I’ve been involved in the punk and metal scenes for a long time and heavy metal’s generally also fairly progressive, it doesn’t seem that way when you look at it but the people who are part of the heavy metal community, they don’t see themselves as being part of the mainstream society in general. I don’t know, maybe it’s different now, I don’t know, but when I was growing up I never meet any conservative people at all for a long long time. The punk scene was always conservative actually because you had the sort of far-right neo-Nazi skinhead punks that had been active where I lived for a while. All that sort of died off a bit, I think. I’m sure there are still people out there that think like that, but I think the whole music aspect of it’s gone, but they used to be bands that sort of had that bent to them. Yeah, I don’t really see that happening in K-pop because, I mean, if anything K-pop tries to avoid any direct political statement of any kind. I mean, just look at BTS for instance. You know, ever since they’ve become really really big, they’ve gone outta their way to…

AS: …Avoid!

I mean, that’s the case with a lot of these groups. I mean, they want to try and appeal to the maximum amount of people and so they obviously don’t want to take sides in a political thing because then they’re going to alienate certain people and if you’re going for maximum audience then that’s obviously not good marketing strategy.

AS: Yeah, it’s very funny. I think we’ve discussed this before but it’s just that it’s just really interesting to simultaneously see people on one side try to hype this group as the reason you should follow them is: *Cali valley girl accent* “They’re like so much more woke than like all the other K-pop idols who just like sing about like boys or girls and love and stuff but BTS are like soooo super deep and political and like they speak about messages to the youth” and than you have the other side who are like: *dopey K-poppie voice* “BTS are not political at all. They’re only just musicians. Why does everyone expect them to be political?” It’s like, you can’t have both sides to that story existing simultaneously but that’s ARMY Twitter these days.

KP: Well, yeah, I guess they set themselves up originally with a bit of an expectation.

AS: Yeah, they did! And it’s very fascinating. I actually wrote, no I didn’t write anything, like I wrote a tweet about it. Just about how really stupid it is to somehow be pushing this agenda that BTS are woke that they wrote a song 4 years ago about this when clearly they’ve had multiple opportunities to expand on their activism and have fallen completely flat.

KP: Yeah, it’s fairly obvious that they’re not interested in actually doing stuff (AS: Yeah!) because that would take away from making product stuff. Which is really why they’re there.

AS: And it’s like from a business perspective, there’re obviously are reasons I can understand. Literally what you just said, “If you take a stance on something, you alienate a huge section of your fanbase and that means less people buying your albums.” So I’m not completely illogical and I do understand the reasons behind it but I just find it on a personal level quite disappointing.  I mean, I think I’ve talked about this before that I’ve, one of the times I was in the audience because I have seen them 4 times to all the people who call me a fake fan or whatever, I’ve seen them 4 times. And one of the times I saw them, I was in the audience of Mnet Countdown and they were performing “Am I Wrong” and that was done in the middle of protests against the then-president Park Geun-hye when people were trying to get her impeached and they went on live television saying a protest song against the current political party. So, you know, pretty political stuff. And then you go from that being a group you’re a fan of to, you know, being ostracized if you dare say that you would like them to be consistent with the message they built their career on.

KP: Hehe, yes. But yeah, that’s the way the fandom moves, I guess. They don’t really care.

AS: Yeah, it be like that.

KP: They just want people to be fans. I don’t think they really care about anything else. But yeah, to answer that question about other music spaces, well, yeah. Other music spaces do lean into conservatism, but they’re not really like K-pop in a whole lot of different ways so it’s…I can’t…I wouldn’t say that you could necessarily expect that from Korean pop because of the way Korean pop is made. The fact that every…pretty much every single genre of music you can ever imagine has got two things. They’ve got a Christian variant and they’ve got a Nazi variant. Like you can get a Christian black metal, you can get Christian rapping, you can get Christian, you know, Christian fill-in-the-blank. And it’s the same with Nazis as well, extreme right-wingers or whatever. You know, white nationalists I suppose to be more accurate. There’s every single style of music you can possibly imagine there’s a white nationalist version of it. Even the ones completely dominated by black people, so go figure. But anyway with K-pop you can’t really have that because of the way it’s manufactured. The only reason why those things exist is because there are people who have those extreme beliefs and they’re also creative and when you get those two things together than that’s what you get, but with K-pop you’re not allowed to get creative in that kind of way. So, that would just never become a reality. Not in the current system. The whole of K-pop would have to change drastically for that to even exist. They’d have to be very large independent movement in K-pop which there currently isn’t. I mean, there is a lot of Korean independent music but it’s just so far under the radar. Even the popular stuff…we’re not going to see a group wearing Nazi uniforms and actually meaning it, you know what I mean? It’s not gonna happen. It’s gonna be a fashion show. Anyway, I’ll move onto the actual questions and they’re all very diverse and so, first one: This is what XHamster thinks of No Nut November. Thoughts? *chuckle* And this is quite funny. I’ll just link it in the chat here. So, we’ve got, starting off with a post of pornographers must die. (Both chuckle) It’s fairly extreme interpretation of what pornography does to people. Full capital punishment for pornographers. And then XHamster’s saying that no fap has it’s roots in antigay, anti-women, anti-Semitic vlogs, etc. I wouldn’t actually know to be honest. Then you’ve got no fap themselves actually replying saying well actually it’s not true, so… (AS: Yeah). I think both sides in this argument obviously have an agenda.

AS: Yeah, they’re both quite extremists in either regard.

KP: Haha, yes. But yeah, your thoughts on that.

AS: Ummm

KP: It’s okay if you don’t have any cause you have a lot of questions. *chuckles away*

AS: I was gonna say no thoughts, head empty, hahaha. Yeah, there’s not much of an opinion other than, like you know, extremists on either side going too far. Like you’re never gonna be able to cancel porn. Sex work, I think, is one of the oldest if not THE oldest running “business”, it’s like one of the first things that humanity has been able to sell. So it’s an industry that you’re never gonna be able to control or police and obviously some regulation is needed in terms of the ages of the people who are involved but provided that both parties are consenting then you’re never really gonna be able to phase that out. I mean, if anything trying to restrict pornography has horrible side effects and consequences, like if you look at South Korea, they “ban” porn in the country instead of…

KP: Then you have the Nth room.

AS: Yeah, exactly and it’s like obviously I’m not saying Nth room is any form or any way acceptable at all—it’s disgusting. And I’m not giving it like an excuse or anything because there is such a thing as a VPN, if you really want porn bad enough then just get one of those. You don’t have to sign up to a whole forum that’s exploitive. But yeah, if you try to ban porn then it’s only going to push people into far more extreme ways of accessing it so, because Koreans can’t consume more or create it in a legal way than subjects women to being made into porn without their consent so it’s yeah, very dangerous.

KP: Just makes it harder to regulate.

AS: Exactly.

KP: I mean, I wouldn’t know about no fap and the origins and no fapper I wouldn’t have a clue to be honest but I do know that a lot of the anti-pornography movement started in the 1980s and that was very much pushed by the Christian right-wing in America.

AS: Yeah, of course, it’s them. They’re behind anything that you know, blame people for things that are probably shit that they’re causing in the first place.

KP: Yeah, but anyway, let’s move onto the next question. I’m pretty sure there’s at least some K-pop question in this lot!

AS: Here’s hoping.  Sounds like I’m being shitposted to be honest.

KP: You probably are.

AS: Lovely.

KP: Oh, I think I’m the one being shitposted in this next question. Who is you favorite of the core 5 Sailor Moon Sailor Guardians (AS: Mmmh) out of Moon, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Venus.

AS: I always loved Sailor Mars when I was kid. I wanted to be Sailor Mars and I was literally a little girl with blonde pigtails (laughs) you know? Like, obviously I’m not literally a spitting image of Sailor Moon but I fit that a bit more than I would a girl with long black hair. It’s like I wanted to be Sailor…Sailor Moon? Oh, sorry, wanted to be Sailor Mars, but clearly looked a lot more like Sailor Moon.

KP: Yeah, Sailor Moon, I’ve gotta admit, completely passed me by. I’ve never even seen it. I’ve seen pictures on the internet and that’s it, so I wouldn’t even know the difference from one to the next, so I’ll pass on that one. Let’s move on. Is there such thing as tasteful sexuality? Straight people look down on gay people for being hypersexual. Do they? Cracking dick jokes all the time and falling for thirst traps. A lady told me she found it tacky and tasteless and we should emulate straight people for seeking relationships in a more neutral and sophisticated manner. That’s the question. I don’t think…I don’t think they got the memo on what straight people actually like, but anyway.

AS: Well, I think it’s just because, they always say that gay people is always hypersexualized and “oh I’m okay with gay people just as long as they don’t shove it down my throat”. But it’s like, there’s a very concept of sex sells and the hypersexualization within advertising and that’s always, but I’d say 99% of the time heteronormative, so it’s just more straight is “acceptable” and in “society” so when you’re surrounded by something that is acceptable, you don’t take notice of it because it’s just your normal surroundings. But when something that is outside of what you consider normal even just makes a brief appearance, you’re far more likely to notice it and then hyper fixate on it. So I don’t think there’s anything gay people are doing that straight people aren’t doing themselves. (KP: Yeah). But it just speaks more on how uncomfortable straight people and, straight people are far more likely than homophobic people are, to not able to accept something that is slightly different from their current state of norm.

KP: Yeah, I guess a good way to put it is, I mean, if I watched, I don’t know, Holland, that K-pop dude that’s openly gay and when he’s kissing a dude. You know, when you see that for the first time in the video gets a reaction outta you because you’re like “Oh, wow.”

AS: You don’t expect that.

KP: Yeah, you don’t expect it. It’s like wow, don’t see that every day. You know, and how did it get through the censors and stuff like that. But if it’s a woman and a man kissing, it’s just be like “oh, whatever”. You probably wouldn’t even register because I mean, pop music videos generally have sexual content in them of some form, so you would just think on a normal search would just be like, “eh”. If I saw that in a video, I probably wouldn’t even remember the end of the video there was kissing in it. So yeah, it makes more of an impression on people because it’s unusual. So, I think gay sexuality, I don’t think it’s any more extreme. It just has more of an impact because it is so more different from the norm, that it sort of it sticks out. You know, I know plenty of gay people who are sluts and I know also know plenty that just want to find that one guy for that perfect relationship and they don’t want to sleep around, so it’s just like straight people. Same thing. It’s all types.

AS: Yeah, I don’t think being gay is inherently linked to being more promiscuous but it’s also to do with social conditioning as well. And that goes back to what we were just saying about far-right groups and how they petition for certain things. That’s definitely something they’ve been petitioning about for decades in this whole concept of like the nuclear family and parents, like parents deserve a mother and a father growing up and all that kind of rubbish. So, there’s been a lot of stuff that’s just been rammed down people’s throats for years and years about what quote “normal” unquote is supposed to be. So, it’s, you know, unfortunately created a very hostile environment for some people and if anything, gay people are far more likely to be very restrictive of their relationships. So again, that’s almost strange to me that people are thinking that the gay people are the ones flaunting and being over the top when if anything, they’re the ones who are literally forced into the closet in the first place. And if anything, that gives them more reason to therefore to be more overt when they come out of the closet because they might see it as making up for the years that they’ve had to spend repressing themselves. Like, “you know, fuck this. I was forced into a state of repression and now that I’m in an environment where I can consider it safe for me to speak my own truth and I’m gonna speak it as loud as possible” and I think that they have every right to do that.

KP: Well, yeah, I mean, they probably are a bit more flamboyant in some ways but why not?

AS: Yeah, I mean, they’ve been made to feel ashamed of it for so long when it’s nothing to feel ashamed over so if anything they have every right to take confidence.

KP: Yeah, if people are really upset about that whole flamboyance then they can probably just be more chill about it. If they were just more chill about it in the first place then you’d probably see less of that. If it was more normalized then it probably wouldn’t be a big deal. (AS: Yeah) Anyway, moving on. Hi there, since you two are pet owners, I’m curious about your thoughts on some stuff to do with the idols’ pets. Are there any idols’ pets you specifically like or find interesting or cute? What do you think about idols keeping pets while living dorms with your other group members? Is it responsible for an active idol gets a new pet while working a standard idol schedule? And should managers have to also take care of and be responsible for the pets of the idols they manage?

AS: Well, talking about pets makes me sad right now because I’m not living at home with my parents anymore and considering my dogs are technically my parents, I don’t have my dogs right now and I miss my dogs. I love my dogs very much. (KP: It’s alright). If anything, no that’s fine. I’m being a bit dramatic about it, but it’s like, oh my god I love my dogs so much. Whenever I call my parents, I’m just like PUT THE DOGS ON! It’s like Hi, mom, miss you, WHERE ARE THE DOGS? *KP just chuckling away* So I love my dogs very much. Miss them terribly. My parents moved like a week before coronavirus lockdown here, so I couldn’t just go with them and then spend my quarantine indefinitely with my parents instead I’m staying with another family member that’s still in my state. But yeah, very sad. Miss my dogs. In terms of dogs of celebrities that I like, I mean, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise to anyone who knows me to know that I like Taehyung’s dog. He’s a Pomeranian called Yeontan. And it’s a very funny dog from the little clips he uploads of him. He’s got a lot of personality. It’s very funny cause it’s got these eyebrows that make it look like it’s in a permanently pissed off state and I just think that’s hilarious. *keyboard sounds from KP* He just follows Taehyung around and he like has these eyebrows that are like “Hrrm?!” Aww.

KP: I’m just looking up the, my Goo Hara Sex Tape post on my website because that’s the one that has all the cat photos in it. I don’t spend much time thinking about other people’s cats besides my own, but…I actually really like UZA’s cat, an independent musician. Don’t know if you know her, but she has a nice white cat and she occasionally posts videos of her cat that are not all the different from the videos I post of mine to be honest. Just of her cat hanging out doing random shit, and yeah. So that’s a nice cat. But you know, it’s not too many bad cats out there.

AS: I love cats. I got a friend of mine who has a cat and whenever I visit their place, I always spend time with their cat and then I got another friend who has two cats. And another friend who has, I think, three cats so I have a couple of friends who have cats and I’m always happy whenever I go over to their place and get to see cats cause I’ve always wanted a cat but my parents are not cat people.

KP: What about the other side of the question, which is how do these pets actually get looked after. I always suspect that the pets were, except in the case of very A-list idols, I figured that the pets are probably trotted out for show or something. I mean, I don’t doubt that someone like IU has their own pet or someone like that but for someone who’s getting training all the time…

AS: If anything, I would assume the pet is the family pet like with the parents because I think that’s what happened with Infinite because Seungyeol had a cat, it was honestly a really ugly cat—I’m sorry to insult his cat, but it was like a Siamese cat, and oh not Siamese. It’s the one that’s got like no fur. They creep me the hell out.

KP: Yeah, Sulli had one of those.

AS: Yeah, I know. I don’t know. Even Sulli’s one was a bit cute, but Seungyeol’s one just scared the shit out of me every time I saw a photo of it. But yeah, he had the cat and I was wondering the same kind of thing. He sometimes even took it with him to schedules. He had it in like a carry basket but I think one person in the crowd tried to pass him a letter or pass something to one of the other members and it knocked the case and scared the cat and he was pissed. Either because of that or just because of, I guess, the dorm life situation, he ended up giving it to his parents to look after, so that’s something that I would assume happens in a lot of cases, that it’s like a family pet that stays with the family. And I know that happened with BTS as well.  Jungkook has a dog, Namjoon also has a dog and Hoseok has a dog as well. And those three dogs are with the parents and the family.

KP: Alright, I will defer to you on this. I’ve never really thought about it but that would make sense because I’m sure the idols don’t have time to look after them and I’m sure the management doesn’t either Let’s move onto the next question. What do you think separates the K-pop groups who make it big and the ones who fail…

AS: Money!

KP: Luck and timing are definitely huge factors but outside of that, what key ingredients do you personally think can cause a group to blow up?

AS: Money!

KP: Is it a matter of putting out as much content as possible while hoping someone will catch on?

AS: Money!

KP: [laughs]

AS: Absolutely money and industry connections as well. Like if you look at who has managed to have a successful group, virtually all of them has some sort of insider connection. As you’ve said before timing and luck is a huge (??) So for example I like Apink and I think that something that has hindered them ever achieving national girl group status is purely the time period in which they debuted because at the time they debuted SNSD was still at the peak at their career and there was also 2NE1 still at the peak of their career so there was never really an in for them to be able to become the number one top group and then when the kind of phasing out of it happened of that time period, that 2015, that was when TWICE debuted. There’s a bit of an opening for that in the market and then TWICE took that title really quickly so there was a bit of a gap. And I always thought their company was actually really shit for not following up, for not making the most of that gap. I think they had that really good song that was like super successful, they spelled L O V E love but it was titled L U V, that always fucked with my head. But that was a really really huge comeback in terms of music show wins and I think it was, it set a record. It was at a time period that they could’ve really used that boost and then like, projected…going on from that really well. And then, Cube at the time, I think, they got some plan A, that’s their name now. Plan A kinda like did nothing with them for a year and tried to make them a thing in Japan which again timing and luck, I think they’ve got a helluva lot of potential for success in Japan because their sound matches a lot of J-pop aesthetic. The problem there is that Japan obviously has a thing for younger girls even though they’re quite young and were even younger at the time but, you know, they like their idols to be thirteen. So, that was like a thing that they didn’t really consider very much and also the political issues between Korea and Japan and how that’s always a bit of an up and down thing and that was definitely in a down period. So, they wasted a year of their career trying to force them into Japan when they really could have been solidifying themselves in Korea at a time where was starting to become an opening in the market for a new number one girl group. So I always felt Plan A really wasted that. But yeah, timing, luck, potential, good management strategies obviously, that right there that wasn’t a good strategy. They focused on a market that was nearly impossible to crack when they had something back in the home country that was really, you know, had a lot of potential to build on. I guess as I was saying before the connections within the industry. So, for example, ARMYs love to go on about how self-made BTS is and they came from debt and they were so poor and they used to like starve and all that shit. It’s like, to an extent, BigHit was a shit company. Always has been and, as you can still see now, always will be. But something they conveniently like to forget about when they try to separate them from the Big Three is how close Bang Shi-hyuk is with JYP. So JYP…BigHit and JYP used to co-manage the group 2AM. Bang Shi-hyuk also used to write songs for JYP for a very long time. I think he wrote some groups, like some major groups at the prime of their success. It’s either g.o.d. or h.o.t but it’s one of those, I think it was g.o.d. under JYP. And he wrote for them. And he worked under JYP and he spent years at that company so obviously he would have been building a hell of a lot of connections. And there’s been times when JYP was interviewed about Bang Shi-hyuk’s success after he’s obviously left the company and asked”how do you feel about this guy who used to work under you is overtaking you?” and JYP kinda just seems like a stoner sometimes when he’s just like, “yeah, that’s cool, it’s cool”. I mean, I’m happy for the man. I’m happy.*KP chuckle* So JYP is just like really blasé about “it’s cool. It’s successful.” But I mean, something that so many people also fail to consider when I talk about BTS’s success that was, ugh words not coming out properly. I’ve had two coffees today. So anyway, BTS’s success in America is definitely deserved and they definitely earned it and it’s like when you talking about “paving the way” and other artists that came before them, it doesn’t diminish the success that BTS are creating now. So people always talk about paving the way, literally only one person is allowed to build the road when if anything I imagine the road to be many different roads to be interconnected so what BTS are doing now is definitely paving a new way for artists who came after them—for artists who come after them. But they also had a bit of a blueprint to work from from the other artists who were before them too. So JYP was one of the first companies along with YG and I think SM tried it to. To try to send someone over to the American market. SM tried it with BoA and Wonder Girls, oh sorry, BoA and Girls’ Generation. YG tried it with Seven and JYP tried it with the Wonder Girls and had some success but it obviously wasn’t what BTS has gone on to do. But the interesting thing is obviously Shi-hyuk worked under JYP probably knew things about how they were trying to go about the American market and it gave them a blueprint of what not to do to progress his own group in the future. So it’s easier to do things in the future if you can learn from the mistakes of the past and the biggest thing from the past that he learned from and actually worked with was having the American manager and the American, um, what’s his name? Oh, we hate the guy, his name is Eshy and he’s now the one looking after Monsta X. It’s, you know, obviously he’s dodgy as shit and I wouldn’t recommend him to anyone to work with him, but even just having an American distributor and an American partner that was something that all those other companies had lacked when they tried to do it themselves because from a K-pop perspective, you want to maintain as much control of your group as possible and you also want to reduce the amount of profits you have to share so that was a huge reason why none of those other companies had allowed a contract like that because we see all these things coming forward now like UMG signs this group, I think. UMG is Blackpink and Capital is the one with SuperM and TWICE just signed one as well with Republic and (G)idle’s now got one as well, So all these American contracts that are coming through, you can definitely say that BTS paved the way in that regard because they were the first group who actually took that leap, reduced the amount of profits that the company would be able to make off their sales in America, but they were smart enough to realize that a smaller share of a giant profit is obviously a hell of a lot better than a majority share of shit-all. So that’s an example of management tactics and those kind of things as well. So yeah, that was a really long-winded response to that question.

KP: (chuckle) You could’ve just said “money”.

AS: Well, I did! Money, timing, and management.

KP: Cool, that’s a good answer. I’ll move on. This one’s not even a question though. The person forgot to include the actual question but it’s sort of an implied one. SHINee fans got mad at TXT and BigHit for their lightstick color but the colors aren’t even the same.

AS: I’ve always said the lightstick debate is really stupid. Purely because how many colors exist on the spectrum. And, you know, BTS had the whole purple thing. 4minute technically had purple as their fan color. Although, I guess the fact that they’ve disbanded means that it’s up for grabs now. I think the things that a lot of groups are doing now is doing multiple colors to avoid this whole mess because they’re like okay. Like, Gfriend has three colors. They’ve got purple, blue, and white or silver. And then TWICE has pink and orange. Blackpink obviously…*laughs* I wonder what color Blackpink is? But funnily enough, Red Velvet’s is not red. So, you get the gist. Lots of groups have lots of colors. They’ve been trying to negate fan wars by having multiple colors and then TXT just happened to have some teal-ish color that’s somewhat similar to SHINee’s and Shawols get pissed. And I’m like if the thing that you’re angriest about in the world is a color then you’ve got a pretty good life.

KP: With multiple colors, they might be thinking people they won’t get upset if we don’t have two out of three or whatever but the I think with K-pop fans, one out of three would be enough to upset them because they’re so crazy. Next question is just your thoughts on this article and this is just Jessica Yaniv being arrested for assault.

AS: Who?

KP: Ah, you don’t know who Jessica Yaniv is?

AS: I do not.

KP: Okay, I’ll, um…here’s some trans guy or whatever who has basically…he’s very very dodgy. He does a lot of stuff which is, you know…

AS: Oh, it looks like the pronouns being used in the articles is she so I’m assuming male to female trans.

KP: Yeah. I mean, you can read it up on her but she’s been…she’s been doing stuff like she tried to sue a beautician’s parlor when they refused to wax her genitals because she’s still got male genitals.  I think she organized underaged children’s parties, pool parties where the parents weren’t allowed to attend. Just real creepy shit.

AS: I think in that case I can’t give much of an opinion because I literally just said “who” when their name was announced but the thing that I’ll state is it’s is really unfortunate when one person is a bad egg from a minority group and then they’re clearly than used by racists, bigots, homophobes, etc, whatever opposing end…to then try and make them an example of “this is why these people shouldn’t have rights”, so yeah, I always find that I guess upsetting because I know plenty of people—I’ve got a friend myself who was male to female trans and you know, they’ve never done anything to hurt anyone. So it’s just like one bad person who is a part of that community unfortunately shouldn’t be used as a…I think there’s the expression about tarring someone with a brush.

KP: Yeah, I mean, dickheads come in all types. You’re gonna get trans dickheads just like you’re going to get straight dickheads.

AS: It’s like…I’m mean going way off topic here, but the thing I’m seeing about the whole coronavirus situation is you look at how, because it originated in Wuhan now Asian people all over the world are becoming targeted victims of hate crimes. You see black communities are now disproportionately infected and then have the lack of resources which therefore lead to an increase rate of death in their communities as well, and then they’re somehow now being made a target in China. Like you see the signs up saying “No Black Costumers Here”. I’m like how the fuck is China blaming Black people for it now and it come from their own country—that’s a bit weird and racist. But then you see the White people who go out and have signs like “Muh Freedom, Muh Rights”, and they’re protesting to be allowed back out again and trying to protest to end the restrictions and stuff and it’s like, white people won’t be denied access to health care based upon the actions of those minorities who are embarrassing all of us. And I really think it’s a thing that more White people should be actively protesting and saying like, you know, if you look at a video on Twitter of how many people in those mobs are white, it’s like 99%. If you look at governments and the people who enact oppressive policies in Western countries, the vast majority of them are white. Yet as a white person, I don’t experience any discrimination based upon that…those actions, so it’s just the thing that I’ve always got the shits with. I’m not saying please oppress me too. Obviously not. But what I’m saying is..

KP: Surely it can be arranged by somebody!

AS: More of what I’m saying is if you’re not…if you don’t want oppression for white people based upon the worst of our kind and it’s a hell of a lot of people of our kind, then we need to start making it a more friendly world so the people who are different in minority cases, like you know don’t use a bad person to target the rest. (KP: One thing…). So, yeah that’s my opinion on that.

KP: One random thought that struck me about the coronavirus is that it is actually, when you think about it, it’s a disease that disproportionately targets rich people because if you’re rich you can afford to travel a lot, you can afford to go on cruises and you tend to shake a lot of people’s hands all the time.

AS: Yeah, the problem though with that is it’s not…if anything, the rich are the ones being the ones to spread it and then they spread it to the poor communities because, you know, the poor people are the ones who have to serve them. So, when a rich person gets it, they’re rich enough to afford the treatment, but if a poor person gets it and then takes it back to poorer family’s poorer communities, then they’re the ones who then impact, who are then far more impacted because the time it takes for a rich person to be able to afford a test or get tested, super quick, super easy, super accommodated. A poor person gets it, they think they have it, they can’t get tested, they’re infected but then they’re continuing to spread that to other people in their community and those people in their community are also poor and they can’t get tested, they can’t get treatment. So, if you look at a rich person who gets it, they can get it quickly tested, quickly shut down, quickly tell their other friends, their other rich friends can go get tests and avoid them, etc. A big part of Korea’s strategy is early testing, early intervention, and then rich people are the ones who have the access to early access and early intervention. Like the time Idris Elba got a test for it and he wasn’t even showing symptoms. He posted about it on his Twitter like I was asymptotic and I got a test and I had it. And everyone was kinda like, wait, how the fuck did you get a test if you don’t even have symptoms whereas I’m borderline dying in my bedroom and the doctor’s telling me to stay home. So yeah, I get what you’re saying in terms of rich people might have the initial exposure more likely due to the fact that they travel but they’re far more likely to then spread it to other people who then don’t have the access to get the help that they need.

KP: Yeah, eventually. I guess it’s a bit like Reagan “trickle down economics” except that it actually works *laughs*

AS: *laughs* Unfortunately. They’ll give us their diseases, but they won’t give us their money.

KP: It’s coming too, in dribs and drabs.

AS: Yeet the rich!

KP: Let’s move on. Oh my god, it’s…

AS: *giggles* I love that reaction.

KP: Yeah…here we go, fuck, marry, kill.

AS: Ohhh dear.

I don’t even know. I haven’t seen any of these three. But, Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker, Heath Ledger’s Joker, or Mark Hamill’s Joker?

AS: [laughs] Uhhhhhhmmmm…

KP: I haven’t seen any three of them played as Joker.

AS: Oh, you haven’t seen the Dark Knight? Really good movie. Highly recommend. I mean, that’s just my personal taste but I really like Christopher Nolan as a director, so I enjoy a lot of his movies. And then I also enjoy superhero films, so it’s like combining two of my favorite things so out of principle for that I’ll marry Heath Ledger’s Joker. Um, I’ll fuck the cartoon just shits and giggles. And then, I guess that leaves me killing Joaquin Phoenix. *laughs*

KP: *laughs as well* Alright, next question. Scenario, you’re the defense minister of a country currently at war and there is currently a conscription of all gendered people into the military under 35. A common problem you’re facing is that many women are trying to dodge the draft by getting themselves pregnant. Abolishing conscription is not an option because your country’s survival depends on victory. How do you solve this problem?

AS: Forced sterilization. [laughs all round] Let’s go full dictator-mode!

KP: Exactly the response I’m sure everybody would’ve expected from you!

AS: Thank you. We are not having another baby boom. The last time a baby boom happened, it ruined the economy.

KP: There we go. Next question: what do you both think about Dan Petersen?

AS: Who? *laughs*

KP: I don’t know either!

AS: I have to Google.

KP: Me too.

AS: [seraches] Dan Petersen….American baseball coach?

KP: Who gives a fuck? My knee-jerk reaction. I thought you liked baseball? You’re supposed to know who these people are.

AS: Yeah, but he died apparently. Was he the racist, the racist one? I know that there was someone who was involved in the NBA who was super racist because this was the guy that went to the NBA, but I don’t know. It’s hard to say.

KP: Italian teams? Something…I—I don’t know…

AS: “He’s nicknamed “The Coach” for his legacy in Italian baseball”, so I don’t think he was that racist one. Yeah, I don’t have much of an opinion, sorry.

KP: We’ll pass on that one. K-pop isn’t actually popular in the USA, so why there so many artists using BTS for attention by @ing them on Twitter and stuff? Does it actually get them more attention? I suppose it baffles me because I don’t go telling people in real life that I like K-pop.

AS: Ahhh, the old classic “Everyone’s using BTS for clout.” I think a lot of people who come into the fandom later has this perception that everyone’s using BTS to ride coattails on and perhaps it is true to some extent. I don’t particularly like it myself when people try to force everything back to a BTS-related narrative if other K-pop acts are coming across the, um, to America because I think people deserve to be recognized by their own merits. But again, they are conveniently forgetting a time either forgetting or they’ve never been made aware of it, but to anybody who was in K-pop fandom in 2015, the words, Any ARMYs here xD, is synonymous with really fucking annoying people inserting BTS into conversations but they were clearly not relevant. So, it’s like ARMYs are obviously, now that they’re at the top and they’re the number one, they’re super happy to, you know, forget the time where they were the annoying beggers, but their own group’s history is based on how annoying the fandom was shoving them into every conversation and therefor getting them that exposure and I mean, hey, part of that paid off. So can you really blame all these other groups for trying?

KP: Yeah, makes sense.

AS: I think that’s the short answer and I think I’ve given enough long answers already.

KP: And you know, BTS are popular in the US. They’re up there with the Biebers and all that now which is quite an achievement. Let’s not downplay it.

AS: Yeah, people seem to think that I’m this person who’s in denial of BTS’s success, not at all. I admit them as being very hugely popular, good for them. I have no bitterness towards it because it was something that I spent years wanting it to happen.

KP: And I think the way it works for them is just like the way it works for any big music star. Obviously other people would love to be a feature on a track because they get a bit of that fanbase.

AS: Yeah, it’s like they always say, I don’t have to like every pop artist just because I like Lady Gaga, so why does everyone think I have to like every K-pop group if I like BTS. And it’s like “no, no one ever said you had to”. But the other thing that they seem to forget about is how much other pop stars are always compared to other pop stars. Like this isn’t a BTS and K-pop exclusive thing. Just think about Britney Spears and how many people she was always compared to throughout her entire career. There was a whole Britney and Christina rivalry. They’re definitely not rivals but Mariah Carey and Britney—even though they’re completely different types of artists. So any time someone new is coming up, they’re always compared to what the so-called standard is, and I would definitely claim BTS is definitely the standard of American success right now.

KP: Let’s move on. Do you agree or not? And I will show you the… I’ll just send you the link.

AS: *reading* Family Guy is the only adult American animated show I seem to consistently spout genuinely harmful messages without jokes or counter-messages presented. South Park isn’t perfect, but they sure as shit try harder than Family Guy, but I guess it’s not a spicier hot take to hate Family Guy—huh? Yeah, I don’t agree with that because South Park has definitely had a helluva lot more offensive messages than what Family Guy has. And I’m pretty sure that the people who created South Park are Republicans.

KP: I would argue that South Park’s still funnier though.

AS: Yeah, it would be, but…it definitely.

KP: I mean, yeah. Regardless of your political opinions or not, I think…

AS: Yeah, just their ability to tell jokes and use satire is more effective than what Family Guy is by a long shot.

KP: Family Guy is just like the Simpsons for dumb people.

AS: Yeah, it is. It’s very much in your face, straight up slapstick.

KP: It’s the Simpsons for people who are too dumb to understand the second layer of humor in the Simpsons, but they like Homer going “D’oh”. That’s basically Family Guy.

AS: Eh, it’s fun, like I don’t like Family Guy. I don’t like necessarily go out of my way to watch it, but sometimes I go over to my friend’s place and they like Family Guy, so if they’re watching it on the TV, I’ll watch it with them and I don’t complain or anything. It’s alright to have as background noise on or whatever but it’s not something that I’m super invested in.

KP: Next question. Kathy seems mad. Do you think she might’ve eaten bats and….ohh, what type of question is this? There’s two links that come with it.

AS: Okay, so Kathy is the name…I thought Karen was the annoying White woman name. Oh, Kathy is the person. *reading* “Y’all complaining that Chinese people eat certain animals. Yet y’all eat tide pods. One is edible, one isn’t. Lmaooo. Point is, every country has people that do stupid stuff for views. Relax with the racism. It ain’t cute”. Yeah, I mean they’ve got a point in terms of how everyone’s mad about Chinese people eating bats but white people literally ate Tide pods as an internet challenge which is the point. And then, it’s always…a lot of these things are always cultural. For example, Chinese people eating bats “oh, that’s disgusting, that’s gross.” But it’s like, I think Indians would consider the way we eat beef is disgusting to their culture because they consider cows to be sacred. Oh, then someone’s quote, “I can’t believe I’m about to defend Tide pod consumption, but that has never a global epidemic.” I’m pretty sure it kinda did. Where the National HealthCare Organization had to like come out and say please do not eat Tide pods.

KP: An epidemic of stupidity.

AS: Yeah, “Don’t eat bats and rats kids. They should have learned this with SARS like the bubonic plague.” Um, again, hard to say…do I have this person blocked? I think I do. Maybe, I’m subscribed to a block chain so that like automatically blocks people for me.

KP: Yeah, might be from the same one. I don’t know.

AS: Let’s see, have I got them blocked? Not sure. Anyway, you get the gist. The…I’d say, unless you’re vegan then you’re not in any position to be critiquing what type of animals someone is eating because it might also be about resources and, what’s it called, like resources, potentially poverty and access to animals to like meat consumption. And then, what was it? I think SARS that they did mention, the other person mentioned was based on something to do with the wet markets but then I’ve also had other people I’ve been talking to educating me about that as well. You know, hard to say. The thing that I’ll send you. I can’t…I’ll look it up now. [searches] “James, Survivor, bat.”  Survivor years ago. Fans vs. Favorites. I think this was Survivor season 16. I think it was either the China season or Micronesia season but James on Survivor ate a bat. It’s from Micronesia. Yeah, and in the Micronesia Survivor auction that was, because in Survivor you can bid on blind items that are covered by something in the auction challenge although they don’t seem to do the auction as much anymore. But it’s on Reddit, and someone says Chinese bat and then someone corrects it like “no, this came from the Micronesia season”. But in Survivor the challenge is you get five hundred US dollars and you’re allowed to bid in increment for items at the auction. Sometimes items that are under a cover can be really really good like pizza or burgers or it might be a secret advantage in the other challenge but I think the thing he bid on and then won was bats. *laughs* And then they realized that after he opened the thing and then, Probst, the host, then says “this is considered a delicacy in the area”, so you know, the person who ate the bat was by far not the first person to ever eat a bat.

KP: Well, it didn’t even start with people eating bats, anyway. It’s more of the confined closeness of those wild animal markets (AS: Yeah) and interspecies virus transfer and all that. It’s more than someone just ate a bat (AS: Yeah). I’ll move onto the next question and it’s another link one. Your thoughts on this one.

AS: “Why do Ancient Greeks have small penises?” I’ve always wondered that to be honest.

KP: The article actually explains that. Basically, that’s just the beauty standard of the day. And it was because it was considered to be godly because all the devils was sort of always were drawn with really big penises and—(laughs from AS)

AS: I think it might have been the artists overcompensating.

KP: Maybe. Maybe the artist was worried about his own size, so thought if I draw—(AS: If I draw, if I draw a man…) when people see mine, oh wow, it’s really big to that dude.

AS: Pretty much. This is the standard for gods then I’m even better!

KP: Who knows? Next one, do you ever leave the house without showering and/or in your sleepwear to short visits to the supermarket or privision shopping?

AS: Yeah, I don’t leave my house. Period.

KP: None of us do it. I guess, but…

AS: Yeah, I don’t leave the house at all. I’m in like full on lockdown isolation. You know about my history with my lungs, don’t you?

KP: Yeah, I do. You’re at a very high risk.

AS: Yeah, so I had a, for anyone who’s listening who isn’t currently aware, I had four previous lung collapses and two additional surgeries. When a virus that is meant to attack the respiratory system, I don’t particularly want to take that chance. My doctor who I spoke to said that I shouldn’t be at risk more than anyone else because everything’s fixed now, but you know, it’s not something I’m particularly keen to go and test.

KP: Yeah, I’d say you’re at higher risk.

AS: Thank you. So, I’ve got a medical certificate anyway, so, I’m a—

KP: That’s like normal isn’t it? Do people…how often do you people shower? Every 5 minutes?

AS: I’d say once a day.

KP: Once a day will do—Jesus…Oh my god, a million links and stuff.  I’m not gonna share them all, but I bet their question’s fairly lengthy so you’ll get the idea. (AS: Cool cool). Why do…I don’t even know, I don’t know this is even false pretenses, it says something’s up, but anyway. Why do you think female-centric fandoms seem to be the most toxic of them all? (AS: *snorting*) Why do you think mainstream media does very little to call out these very toxic female-centric fandoms?

AS: I’mma stop you there, chief! I mean, have you not seen how many articles there always are about like delusional fangirls and you know… Don’t get me wrong, I am the first person to fucking call out the toxicity of the BTS fandom but it’s very interesting how, you know, they get so much shit which they deserve and deserve more of but, what is it, fucking sports fans – I remember like, I’m pretty sure, like, I’m a Bruins fan based upon the association of their briefing in Boston. I vividly remember, I’m pretty sure the Bruins won the Stanley Cup, it was in Canada and Canada fucking rioted. Was it the Bruins? I don’t know, I just remember it was something because I follow the hockey because of the Bruins, very vaguely that I was exposed to that, so whether it was the Bruins or not, but yeah, Canada had a fucking riot over “sports ball” or “sports puck” in this case. So, you know, if you’re gonna talk about, “Oh, why are females so toxic?”, look in the mirror, mate. It’s just because society as a whole is so – patriarchy, all that feminist stuff. Men being passionate about sports is “passion” whereas women being passionate about music is “obsession” and “fangirl” and “oh my god, it’s so toxic”. There’s definitely a bit of a lens that people are viewing things through and maybe they don’t classify men causing millions of dollars of damage to a city over a game to be “toxic culture” the way that girls being loud over pop music is!

KP: The examples they give besides the K-pop fandom is all the Star Wars related stuff. (AS: Pfft) Stars Wars Kylo shippers have sent death threats to Lucasfilm and film director…I’m not gonna read it all, but you get the idea.

AS: Did they forget the fact that Star Wars fanboys were the ones who bullied half the cast into not using social media? And it was the Boston Bruins, I just Googled it. ~Queen of Hockey Knowledge~ It was 2011, Vancouver’s Stanley Cup, right. It was in Canada. It was the Vancouver Canuks in game seven and the Boston Bruins won that game. At least 140 people were recorded as injured during the incident. 1 person critically.4 people were stabbed. 9 police officers were injured. A 101 people were arrested that night. And four years after the riot, the police finished their investigation, recommended final charges against two suspects bringing the total to 887 charges laid against 301 people. So if we’re going to talk about toxic culture in fandoms I would like to ask the lovely sender of your question, when was the last time that a female toxic culture was responsible for damage of that amount?

KP: Cool. Touché. Slightly off topic. Have you seen Ross Kemp’s documentary about gangs and he’s one that he does about the Polish soccer fans?

AS: No, I have not.

KP: I’ll link it to ya. Have a look at it later. It’ll take about 45 minutes out of your life, but it’s worth the look. Anyway, moving on. Do you think that Kpopalypse would make a good air hostess?

AS: I just read the damage was 4.2 million dollars, by the way. That’s what I was looking for. And what about K-pop host? Who am I—?

KP: [laughs] Do you think that Kpopalypse would make a good air hostess?

AS: I don’t know. I feel like you’d get fired for calling someone a cunt.

KP: Nah, I wouldn’t do that. I’m not an angry person. Even when I’m right, I’m not angry. Everyone thinks I’m angry, I’m not…

AS: Yeah, I think I get a lot more hype for being angry than I actually am as well.

KP: Yeah, I’m pretty chill. Next, more fuck, marry, kill.

AS: Ugh!

KP: C’mon guys, get some new ideas. Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Kylo Ren?

AS: Alright, we’re killing Kylo Ren cause gross. Fuck Anakin, marry Luke.

KP: Alright, cool. Do you like any Kard songs? If so, what are they?

AS: I like “Don’t Recall.” That would be my favorite song by them.

KP I like “Rumor” from Kard, I think it’s their best one. A lot of their songs I really don’t like, but I thought “Rumor” was alright. I actually didn’t mind their last couple because they’re getting away from the whole tropical thing (AS: Tropical House) Yeah, someone’s finally tapped them on the shoulder and said hey guys. It’s dying, c’mon. If you want a career in two year’s time, you’ve got to do something else. Better think of something. Next question, the coronavirus seems to be the most deadly to middle-aged and older people of East Asian racial descent. Do you feel extra concern to for Kpopalypse since he’s an elderly Chinese person?

AS: *pffft* Boomer Remover.

KP: I’m not old enough to be a boomer.

AS: Dodged that bullet then.

KP: But yeah, I’m not concerned.

AS: It would be interesting to see if that statistic changes now that America is becoming the highest-infected country.

KP: Yeah, I think it’s gonna really rip through America in a really bad way.

AS: It’s like, what was that thing I’ve seen going around the internet. What I really really want that won’t happen but I just wish there was a way that all these people who are like you know being super obnoxious and protesting and shit, they should legally be forced to sign disclaimers saying that when they get the virus that they won’t go to hospital and receive treatment there. If you’re doing something so obnoxiously cuntish as going out in violation of protective measure that are not just for your benefit but also for the benefits of the first response workers and for everyone else in society then you should be denied treatment if you get the virus. I mean, you don’t think it’s a threat, you don’t care about it, so why should anyone care about your life?

KP: There you go. Next question: Kpopalypse seems to get annoyed by young girl vocals in K-pop. He calls these girl group songs “screechy bullshit”. Would you consider this to be casual misogyny?

AS: [laughs] Uuummmm, depends on the vocals and the, what’s it called, the processing and mixing of them.

KP: Well, I only call it screechy bullshit when it sounds like screechy bullshit.

AS: Yeah, I mean, what was it? You don’t like eyes one or Izone very much do you?

KP: No, they don’t really have a song I like. I mean, they’re not a really super screechy group but they don’t have any good songs either.

AS: I liked their album. I think that’s a very good straight-to-finish album. It’s like I can actually listen to all the tracks on the album without skipping any. I’m just trying to think who’s a group with screechy vocals that I can think of. Who do you—?

KP: I don’t even think it’s group-specific.

AS: It’s like a member-specific thing?

KP: It’s not even member-specific. I think it’s song-specific. I’m not talking about the actually quality of the voices. I’m just talking about what they’re being made to do in a song.

AS: I think that’s, yeah, I will say that that’s an issue that’s quite broad and it also happens to a lot of boy groups as well because it seems to be this perception that being able to sing a high note makes you more talented and it’s forcing a lot of people to sing outside of their range. It’s not something that I like in particular. I won’t name names but there are definitely boy group members who are being forced to sing way outta their range for the sake of, “Oh my god, he’s sings so high. He’s so talented. He has got like XYZ vocal range. He can sing 4 octaves.” It’s like “shut up!” Screaming is literally not being able to hit a note in that range. I’ve seen video compilations so that like so and so vocal range and the notes they include from the highest one is them literally going, “AHHHHHH” in one of those Weekly Idol challenges, that’s not a range! But you know, people love to circlejerk how talented their oppa or unni is. So, I would say that’s an industry-wide problem, not misogyny. And I ‘d like to think that you’re an equal-opportunity roaster and would drag the shit outta of a terrible boy group vocalist as much as you do a girl group.

KP: I mean, if you look at the ratio of what I like, girl groups definitely get favored, so there you go. But then people, would probably say that’s misogyny, too. So you can’t win. Next question, if you had been 100 years ago, what do you theorize your job profession would be?

AS: I’d be dead. Quite literally at birth I would’ve died. I don’t know what it was that I got injected with but I got something when I came out that I needed to have a needle for some reason, so I probably would have been at risk of even being able to survive outside of the womb. And then, I have like chronic tonsillitis, but that’s not really lethal but apparently if you leave it untreated for a long time, it can be. Because it can grow into different areas.

KP: Well, you would have been fucked then when your lungs went out anyway.

AS: Yeah, the tonsillitis would’ve got me and then the lung collapses definitely would. So I should think I would be dead.

KP: Okay. I don’t know what I would a hundred years ago. K-pop blogger, probably. Next. This person asks: Is this accurate about Australians? I’m just gonna find out what the link is and send it to you. [searches]

AS: Heh, yes. Literally textbook Australia.

KP: Alright, moving on. What’s your opinion on Mondays? What kind of dumb question is that…

AS: Well, Mondays my weekend. I work Wednesday to Sunday now. I work online. And, I set Mondays and Tuesdays as my days off in the week, so Monday is my Saturday.

KP: Groovy. I don’t know. Well, Mondays is my radio show day but I gave it up a few weeks ago.

AS: The weekend is a capitalist scheme~!

KP: Next question. I don’t know who’s…I guess this is directed to both of us, I don’t know. Would you be successful in the drug dealing profession?

AS: Oooh, I’d probably accidentally snitch on myself.

KP: Yeah, …social media posts. Like, my friends always getting high and they’re always posting about it. I’m like you idiots. There’s police on Facebook, too. You morons.

AS: Yeah, I don’t know. Yeah yeah I would get in trouble that way.

KP: Give you one of them. I’d be good because I’d just shut up and deal my drugs and get my money.

AS: Yeah, I’d either take myself out as my own snitch or I would just get shot because I piss off the wrong person. Some combination therein. “Why are you dealing weed? Are you saying that weed isn’t as good as cocaine? I’ll have you know that cocaine outsold weed!”

KP: “Cocaine paved the way!” Next question: My dad religiously watches Australia’s “Married at First Sight.” Every time I see a little bit of it while I’m in the same room, I swear every woman on it has had bad facial plastic surgery and/or really obvious Botox treatments. Are the women on the show the idealized image of beauty for Australian women according to Aussie popular opinion? Do you know?

AS: I would say that they’re the only people that they could successfully cast for the show that were desperate enough to go on it. Fun story for anybody who doesn’t know, I used work in retail and one of the places I used to work was Bondi Junction which is definitely a place for quite a lot of affluent people who are considered conventionally attractive to go and socialize and show off how rich they are or buy all their things. Anyway, I used to work in a boutique in Bondi Junction, and one time, someone came into the shop who then, was a producer or casting of some sort to do with “Married at First Sight.” and they were scouting for “Married at First Sight” and took my number cause they were like oh would you be interested? And one of my coworkers was like flat out no and I’m just like “do you get paid?”. “Yes, you do.” And then I was like “so you get paid, huh?” And they were like, “yeah, you get paid”. And I’m like, “I’ll give you my number”! They actually did follow up and tried to contact me for it, but I was like look “I’m sorry, I’m at uni, I can’t dedicate the amount of time that is needed for the show” which was true. So, there’s the short story of how I potentially could’ve been cast for “Married at First Sight” but I valued my education over a potential television debut.

KP: Oh, you got on Australian TV anyway eventually.

AS: Yeaaaa, and look how well that turned out.

KP: Hehe, yeah but you didn’t have to commit…so much to it.

AS: Yeah, but I didn’t get paid.

KP: I’ve never even seen the show once, so…

AS: I’ve never watched an episode. I just been exposed to it either through something on Facebook or like, an ad or something. And it’s like it’s the very conventional botox-filled out lips. really kinda like stretched face. I think it’s like, the cliché Instagram influencer face, so I guess when you’re talking about an ideal standard, I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s what everybody universally finds attractive because that’s obviously a very subjective concept, but it tends to be what a lot of people think they need to look like to be popular on Instagram as an influencer. And of course, if you look at those contestants, also like, “The Bachelor” as well have their own Instagram profiles and their goal out of the show more often than not is to gain a following and have a career online that way. It’s what they perceive to be the standard.

KP: I just did a Google search, like a Google image search, um, “Married at First Sight” Australia, just to see what the people look like cause I’ve got no idea. And they just all look kinda terrifying. That same look, that same smile, they’ve all got the same makeup. The hair color changes a bit, but even the hair is all kinda the same wavy sort of thing. Yeah, so…what was the question again? Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t even know what’s, what Australian women consider beautiful. Or what Australian popular opinion is…I don’t really know the answer. I wouldn’t think that’d be it, but what do I know?

AS: Again, super subjective.

KP: Yeah. Next question: Which is better and why? “I Got a Boy” by SNSD or “So What” by LOONA?

AS: Oh god.

KP: Hehe, I can’t say I like either song very much.

AS: I like LOONA but I did not like that song. And then I definitely don’t like that song by SNSD. I’d say LOONA purely because of the fact that the fandom hasn’t tried to claim as the “Bohemian Rhapsody” of K-pop.

KP: Yeah, I think the fans have been slightly less annoying about it. I think some of them realize that it’s not very good. And that’s kinda good. But yeah, that’s a “screechy bullshit” song if you want an example of that, but I don’t find any of their other songs to be screechy bullshit.

AS: Yeah, it’s not a criticism of LOONA as much as it is the actual production of the song.

KP: It’s to do with the way the song’s written and what they’re asking the girls to do in the song, it’s nothing to do with the girls themselves who sound perfectly fine on other songs. Anyway, moving on. I was browsing the JB Hi-Fi website recently and BTS’s Map of the Soul: 7 was on the top page. Do you consider this to be a noteworthy achievement and why?

AS: Fun fact: I bought the album from JB Hi-Fi, so again anti-Sana strikes again.

KP: I don’t believe I’ve found any k-pop in JB Hi-Fi. I’ve never seen anything like that in there even once.

AS: Depends which store you go to, I guess. I think maybe being in New South Wales which is a more densely populated area means they put more stock where I live, but there’s been a few stores I’ve gone to that have had multiple K-pop groups. Mainly…it is mainly just BTS and sometimes Blackpink, if I’m lucky. But BTS is definitely the most stocked. I’d say it’s solid. It’s more to do with when the album was released. It was like the number album in Australia and I think they managed to keep it number one for two weeks which is pretty solid given they don’t get much promotion here and also that K-pop groups internationally tend to have a really big debut week but then they drop really quickly afterwards as well because K-pop marketing is not conducive with long-term success and that’s still a key issue that I think BigHit are too stupid to address and it’s going to hinder them until such time as someone actually changes things. But yeah, the K-pop mold is all about having rapid comebacks, rapid succession and that’s how they make a lot of their money and stay relevant in the industry by constantly being in the spotlight. Whereas Western entertainment is all about having… you know, not all about the different artists, I mean, Ariana Grande actually has a quicker release cycle than the average artists but the majority tend to release maybe once every two years? And like, you know, K-pop fans would consider that to be a long ass hiatus if anybody did. Let alone BTS, who release an album every 6 months these days. I think that’s…getting sidetracked, I just consider this a point. Let’s consider the album, Map of the Soul: 7. I have issues with the production and mixing on the vocals because I think you can kind of tell it was recorded in hotel rooms at certain stages like when they were busy, when they were on tour, when their voices were worn out that they still forced them to record anyway because they wanted this album out as soon as possible. But to a lot of them, I would say it was marketed almost like it was their magnum opus and everything they spent their career trying to work towards cause like it was named 7 to do with their identity as a group of seven members and the fact that it coincided with their seventh anniversary of release. And it was like, it’s a fairly long album—it’s a full-length album. I think there was 5 songs that were taken from their era Map of the Soul and then there was like 13 new songs. I can’t remember off the top of my head. And so you’d hope for it to be number one and you’d hope for it to be relevant for a while. But this problem that BigHit has is that the fact that Namjoon’s on TV, on V live talking about how they’re already in the studio trying to record their next album. And it’s like if this was America, you’d still be promoting, but like, they’re in America. They’re trying to become more relevant in America. They are actively seeking American promotions. So if you are making your career America-centric or making America a hell of a lot more relevant in your career than it originally was, there are certain adaptations that should be made, I would say, in a Western market. And one of them that is very common in the American market is the fact that you promote multiple tracks off the album and BigHit did a half-assed version of this when they released “Black Swan” first, but I would almost call that sabotage because they didn’t include the members in the music video and I think at one point, one of them even said on V live they didn’t even know that the track had been released as a single. A bit of a laugh in the face of all the ARMYs who think they’re so in control of their career unlike all those other controlled groups. Anyway, so they did a half-assed release, but it wasn’t properly promoted and then two weeks later is when they came out with “On” and it’s like, that’s not the proper release strategy of groups or artists, individuals, who promote songs. It’s like, you send a song to radio and then you work on promoting that song as much as possible and you keep promoting it for weeks. Like BTS will have their debut week where they go to America. They do the cycle of talk shows, they do a few appearances, and a few performances and it’s cool and then they’re gone in a week. And then that song is completely forgotten about and it falls off the charts in 4 weeks. Whereas in America, you do the constant cycle for as long as possible to keep it up on the charts for as long as possible and then it stays on the charts for months, sometimes even years. I think Rhianna’s, I can’t remember which song it was, but it was one of the songs on her “Anti” album and that stayed on the charts for a really really really long time. And I understand that they’re likely not going to be aiming for that level of success but it’s still…if you’re going to make that more of your priority market, you’d need to be able to adapt and release multiple songs off this album. When people talk about multiple songs off an album, Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” had like 5 songs that was released off it and that was released over—I’m gonna Google that album right now. Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream”…”Teenage Dream” came out in 2010. Let’s see, Wikipedia won’t load. “Teenage Dream” Katy Perry album, um, the amount of singles off that album. There was 7 singles and they were released over a timespan of 2 years, so it’s like exactly what I was saying in terms of how long the time is between different albums. Imagine BTS going two years without an album release. I mean, if they’re going into the military which, you know, these days people on Twigger…Twit…Twitter…Twitter literally saying you need to put a ~Trigger Warning~ before you discuss enlistment. That’s how sensitive they are over it. That’s like an entire military service period between when an album is released and when the last track of that album is released. And you know, that’s…assuming BTS sell, well, they easily sell over a million. I think they might have sold close to 4 million with this one. So, BTs released one album and sold 4 million CDS, in BigHit’s mind, if they only release one album every two years, than that’s only 4 million sells when they could have released 5 albums times 4 and make 20 million sales kind of thing, so they’d never do that. But even just get a bit more consistent, let’s see, and maybe release three songs off an album in a properly spaced out period. So, a properly spaced out period is “California Girls” coming out on May 7th, two months later “Teenage Dream” came out in July 23 and then “Firework” came out October 26th, so July, August, Septem—so that’s 3 months? And then, another 3 or 4 months later, “ET” was released. And then, “Last Friday Night” was released in June, so there was 2 month to 4 month time period between each single’s release and promotions, so I think “On” came out…let’s see, when did that album come out? BTS…On…that album…that song came out February 21. We’re now April 20, so if we were going by typical American standard, BTS would be releasing a new single off the “Map of the Soul” album tomorrow or in the next week or so, but BigHit has already got them in the studio working on their next release. So, I think a lot of artists would find that very strange, to be so done with your album already even after…what most people wouldn’t have even finished wrapping up their first single and then they would be planning future singles, so I think that’s going to be a huge problem that they will always have in their career until such time as they can make a certain amount of compromise. I think, if anything, the only group…I get so much shit from so many fans for saying this, but I think the only group that is really conducive with an American marketing strategy is Blackpink. And the reason for that is, because they’ve only got 13 songs, so if anybody in K-pop right now is capable of releasing songs on a very limited time period and promoting the same song for an extended time period, it would be them by far the most qualified group to do that. And they’ve managed to do it somehow successfully and I give YG so much shit but do not take this as approval of YG in any form at all. I think it’s more to do with the members themselves and how…how well they work as a group and all that kind of thing—

KP: So is this a yes or no to the actual question. (laughs)

AS: I got sidetracked, but I think what I’m talking about is more interesting!

KP: Clearly! [laughs]

AS: It’s something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a while, so…

KP: Yeah, keep going. It’s alright!

I’d say it’s somewhat of an accomplishment. In terms of that question because it’s still ranking that highly if it’s on the front page and I’m assuming this question was sent within the last month because it’s showing steps of progress towards a longevity marketing strategy, but I don’t think BigHit know how to properly manage longevity and I think the only group that is really going to release content on a limited basis and still be able to maintain an active fandom right now is Blackpink because they’re the only group that is used to doing that in the first place. So I just wish that there was a way…I think whoever is managing Y—uh, Blackpink, I think that’s UMG Republic? I get them confused. But Universal, that’s the one. If they could just get an album together. just record literally English version of the songs that they’ve already got, maybe chuck in a few new ones because I want a few new songs, but if they could just do that, they’d barely be doing anything different to what they’re doing now. So, I think they’re the group with the best potential at a long-term chart success without falling off in a month.

KP: I think, getting back to the question, I thought…I think BTS being on the top of the JB Hi-fi website page is a great achievement because whenever I got to JB, I never see K-pop.  I actually went into JB Hi-fi when BTS was the number one album in the country and I could not find it. It was like “where is it?” – I didn’t even want to buy it, I just wanted to see it in there. It just wasn’t there, so the fact that they’re finally forced to acknowledge K-pop in any form is amazing because it feels…it just feels like they don’t really want to.

AS: Yeah, you kinda drag them kicking and screaming.

KP: Yeah, it’s a bit like how Michael Jackson sorta forced people to the American pop music market to acknowledge black people. He was that big that they just couldn’t say no anymore, they just had to go “alright, we’ll let you guys on board now”, and I think that’s what’s happening with K-pop. Next question: Did you know April 20th aka 420 International Smoke Weed Day which also today, by the way, is also…

AS: Hitler’s birthday?

KP: Hitler’s birthday! Yes, you knew. Well, there you go. I didn’t.  Eeryone who thinks I’m obsessed with Nazis now because I’ve made like, two Nazi posts in one year. What’s your favorite element on the periodical table?

AS: HG because that’s my initials which is Mercury.

KP: I don’t even know there’s one for my initials. AB.

AS: Umm, I know that’s a blood type, but I don’t think that’s a periodic table element.

KP: I missed out. Next question: I’ve been wondering about Koreaboos. Do you think they are actually as common as K-pop fans make them out to be? I’ve been a K-pop fan for seven years now and I’ve honestly never met a Koreaboo. Neither online…

AS: Lucky you!

KP: …bloody hell, they’ve dodged a bullet, they’ve dodged a hail of bullets… Neither online or in real life. Maybe that’s because I’m not active on Twitter. Maybe they hang around there.

AS: Yep!

KP: But I feel like K-pop fans act like they’re a bigger issue than they really are. Or am I wrong and they’re actually quite a lot?

AS: There’s a hell of a lot…

KP: P.S. After listening to your latest podcast, I have to say that Zimzalabim is one of the best songs of 2019.

AS: Them’s fighting words!

KP: Yeah, I think with that opinion they’ve invalidated their others… no wonder they got the Koreaboo stuff wrong if they’ve got Zimzalabim wrong.

AS: Yup!

KP: But yeah, there are a lot. I mean, as far as social networking goes the people who are really Koreaboo I tend to offend them and they tend to fuck off. But the people who I actually meet in my real life who are into K-pop are more just sort of basic fans, just like “yeah, I’m really in the Korean K-pop” and that always seems to translate into a love of Korea in general – fuck knows why – and a whole bunch of other things. A lot of them are also into Japanese anime. I don’t know why there’s a correlation there. It doesn’t seem to make much sense to me.

AS: I think the correlation kinda comes to some people, obviously not all, but some people tend to market it like “K-pop is the real-life anime girls”, so I think that has a bit of a role in that regard.

KP: I just thought it was, you know, basic sort of exoticism like “K-pop’s different, anime is different. They’re both Asian.”

AS: I mean, it’s a bit of an Asian fetish in general. So, it’s like you know, if someone objectifies Japanese people based on cartoon characters, it’s not too much of a stretch that they’d would then fetishize Korean people based on the music industry. They don’t see either of them as being real, well you know, they see them more as a fantasy rather than a real person. What was I what I was thinking about when you said the Koreaboo question. It was something about the kinda point I had in my head. I think it was to do with how, I wouldn’t say all obviously, but there are some, I’d say it has more to do with the company rather than the individual. But there are people who try to utilize that fetishism, they try and utilize that in order to sell things.  There was the season of “Hello, Baby” that MBLAQ were on and all the babies in that season were mixed race, so there’s definitely fetishism that goes on within the industry in terms of aesthetics, in terms of marketing to international fans. And I think there was bit of it. So, there’s a helluva lot of fetishism that goes on. Fans themselves are like super disgusting about it. There’s like a super common thing on a lot, I wouldn’t say, on my newsfeed because you know I don’t tolerate that shit, but you know, a lot of people who say really gross shit like “Oh, I want a mixed-race baby purely because of how pretty they are kinda thing.” And it’s…

KP: Let’s see what comes out [of the womb] before they say that! [laughs]

AS: Yeah, what was the thing I saw, like it was a whole shitfuckery of some girl on Tik-Tok who went viralish over…she went to Korea and she was dating a Korean guy based on meeting him online or meeting him on Instagram or some sorta thing like that. And she thought he was “the one” or whatever, but he was cheating on his girl that was back in Korea and then turned out she got pregnant and then he wasn’t responding to her and that’s why she took the whole thing online of trying to force him to acknowledge the child he had created with her whilst cheating on his Korean partner back at home. And, it was again, like super, again super fetishizing in terms of she just wanted to have a hot Korean boyfriend like all the K-pop idols do. It actually kinda goes both ways in terms of Korean guys who are very happy to benefit off of fetishism because they want an easy lay, an easy girlfriend, so it works both ways in some regards.

KP: Next question: Do you prefer ketchup, mayonnaise, etc. sauces at room temperature or straight outta the fridge?

AS: Depends on what the sauce is. So, tomato sauce, I will always argue belongs in a pantry. Mayonnaise, I think needs to be kept in a freezer because that has egg in it and I think there’s potential issues there if you don’t refrigerate something with egg.

KP: Straight from the facts. The nutrition facts are here! Yeah, I tend to keep everything in the fridge. Did you know that testicles have taste buds?

AS: Ewwwww! No?

KP: I can’t taste anything on my testicles.

AS: You must be tasting jeans a lot.

KP: I will try…I’ll try putting some chocolate on my balls see if I can taste the chocolate. (AS: [laughs]) I probably can’t so if there’s taste buds down there, they not doing me a whole lot of good. This one’s obviously for you: If you were given access to the resources of a high-end market sell-on, do you believe you could be able to make Kpopalypse look pretty?

AS: Hmm, potentially. I like to think I’m pretty good with those kind of tools. ~Makeover time~

KP: Another one for you: Do you think Kpopalypse would make a good divorce attorney?

AS: Hmm, that’s an interesting question. I wonder what sparked that.

KP: I’ve never tried it.

AS: It’s very specific.

KP: It is, but what does a divorce attorney do? I’ve never had to deal with one just get you the max amount of dollars out of your separation.

AS: Purely based on the fact that you don’t even know what it is, I kinda have to say no for that.

KP: I’d just say to my client: “Well, you got married, you fool – you sort it out! I don’t give a fuck.”

AS: You’re the idiot and wanted to get married in the first place. This is your problem.

KP: Yeah, I wouldn’t be very good. I’ll allow another XHamster to link. If you qualified for the offer, would you apply? Is the question. And I’ll just find out what this is before I share it to you. Just in case… [searches]

AS: XHamster…Uhh, hmmm, I’m fine. I’m pretty sure that there’s enough easy access without needing to…

KP: Yeah, I’m with John McAfee on XHamster. I don’t know if you’ve seen his video about…

AS: I haven’t

He did a video about how to…how to uninstall McAfee’s software. He makes a reference to XHamster in there and he’s…I’ll link you the whole thing, you can watch it later, but his words on XHamper, someone complained about not being able to get on Pornhub because of McAfee and the person writing said “now I’m stuck with XHamster” and McAfee said, “nobody should ever have to use XHamster”, so yeah, that’s how I feel. It’s a poor man’s Pornhub. I’ve got a Pornhub account, I don’t have an XHamster account, so…yeah. There’s some lines I won’t cross! Moving on…here we go: Sending mixed signals. They’re stockpiling millions of masks but telling people they don’t need them. Thoughts? No need for face masks, said Australia’s chief medical officer as Victoria

AS: I’ve been very outspokenly critical of this. Masks clearly have some form of impact whether it is, like you know, it’s not a fail-safe like there’s obviously gonna be some people that slip through the cracks, but it is by far more beneficial to wear a mask than not wear a mask and you can clearly see that in a lot of other countries that have since started adapting to that. Like America was one of the one’s who was very, oh, you don’t need a mask. And then now, the doctor, Fauci, the one who’s advising Trump has been telling people to wear masks. And like, there’s been some really funny images of Twitter of like people making their own DIY ones at home. I saw someone do a like a fucking water keg thing, you know, those big water, like those water bubble things in the office like the water coolers. Like someone had cut one of those that they were then using to like put over the front of their face. It’s quite funny. But you get the idea. Masks are very beneficial. I’ve started doing it from home. Like, I’ve made my own mask. I made one for…three for friends so far and I’m making more and I want to try and make more eventually to give to as many people as possible. As a pro tip, for anybody who’s listening who is not able to access masks of n95 quality because they are hoarded and sold out etc. vacuum cleaner bag filters, nearly the same level of protection. The filter from a vacuum cleaner bag, if you cut that and then put it inside of the mask, the mask on its own won’t do very much but if you put that filter then inside that mask, it boosts the effectiveness by a helluva lot.

KP: People are gonna start stockpiling those now. Get them quick!

AS: Get them quick, if you haven’t already.

KP: We’ll move on.

AS: How are we going for questions? How many more do we have?

KP: Less than ten.

AS: Okay, we’re getting there.

KP: I know it’s been a long haul. Sorry if I’m wearing you out.

AS: I feel sorry for whoever’s trying to listen to all this. Good luck.

KP: Okay. What’s your take on this: She advocates police beating Hong Kong protestors. Variety reports that…oh, this is the girl from, oh, what’s that fucking Disney film or whatever it is. [searches] Yeah, Mulan.

AS: Ohh, yeah. The lead actress of Mulan who’s like very pro-China because obviously she’s Chinese.

KP: Yeah, she’s Chinese, she’s young. I mean, give her a break.

AS: Yeah, she’s not exactly in the position to have an opinion.

KP: In China, and also beyond that, if she says anything out of line, she’d get her ass kicked.

AS: I mean what happened to how they made Fan Bing Bing disappear. If they can make her disappear, they can make anyone disappear. I can kinda get what you’re saying and it’s like, yeah, we’ve got to be very careful with the lens that you view Chinese pop culture from because it is definintely not the same kind of environment that we’re used to.

KP: Yeah, you can’t just say shit, you know?

AS: Yeah, you can’t just cancel the Chinese celebrities. I think it’s something you’ve gotta be very conscious of when you consume Chinese content that they’re all under control of the CCP and they don’t have the freedom to protest because, you know, you say anything out of line, you disappear, your family disappears—it’s literally lives at stake.

KP: Yeah, so it’s all very well being brave, but… Alright, this one is weird. I’ll send you this. It’s just another thoughts question. This is a lot to take in. I’m just gonna go read it myself. “To be honest, if my wife was cheating on me, I’d rather she fuck the dog than she be fucking a 13 year old boy. I know it sounds weird but listen…at least I can put the dog down”.

AS: “I saw a 4chan thread about guys who find out their girlfriends/wives/daughters get fucked by dogs…suffice to say if I ever have a daughter, I’m not getting a dog. This is part of it but it went on for a while…just got my girlfriend to agree to have a dog eat her out. I convinced my girlfriend to let parent’s dog…” Ohhh, that’s bad. I swear I remember seeing something about this like as a viral clip that went really popular years ago but it would have been like around the time, if you remember Giovanna Plowman, the girl who ate her, sucked on her, ugghh it’s even gross to say it, the tampon eating girl?

KP: Ohhh, I remember. Yeah, I vaguely remember something like that.

AS: Yeah, yeah there’s was something like that where like a whole thing of disgusting trends started happening because people were trying to do anything to go viral and I remember one of those was someone who screwed a dog of some sort. Yeah, that’s obviously gross and animal cruelty and should be punished and anybody caught doing that should never be allowed to own an animal.

KP: Yup. But yeah, weird shit.

AS: Sue whoever sent that in for my therapy bill. Thank you very much.

KP: You know where there’s a lot of dog fucking is in feminist…women’s erotica.

AS: Is that what they’re sending in now?

KP: I…I…a friend of mine commented a while back and says that you know, I bought this book of feminist women’s erotica cause I really wanted to see women’s stories and it was just every second one was, you know… I looked over and over at Rover, he had a gleam in his eyes and it’s like oh my god, not another one. Not another dog fucking story.

AS: Citation needed!

KP: But maybe he just picked up a bad book. I don’t know. I’m sure it’s not all like that.

AS: Probably picked up a book on bestiality and thought that was feminism.

KP: Next question: If Kpopalypse had been born 900 years ago, do you think it’d be likely that he helping take Jerusalem for the Holy Roman Empire?

AS: Hmmm, I don’t know. The Holy Roman Empire was very corrupt and all about, you know, the rich at the top so I can’t really imagine you being on that side.

KP: Oh, maybe if I was rich. But I think it’s the holy thing that would probably be a bit of a barrier for me.

AS: Yeah, it’s like ehhh helping religion. Mmh, gonna pass.

KP: Next one: Have you ever tried or consider trying a K-pop girl group diet?

AS: Umm, when I was younger, a while a while ago, I remember, I think it was either IU or Apink and I literally lived off egg and eggs and, what’s the other one, sweet potato. I think I tried doing that for a little while, but it just didn’t work out.

KP: What was the motivation behind that?

AS: Ah, you know, I wanna be skinny. But, eh, not worth it. I’d rather eat.

KP: Next question: Americans are strange. Yes? And a link. I have to play the video. I don’t want to play the video because it’s a podcast and I might get copyright-striked from the audio, so I’ll skip it. It’s a load to have a million questions—there’s only a few more to go. What are some clichés or preconceptions that foreigners have about Australians which annoy you?

AS: Um, nothing really particularly annoys me.

KP: Most are true anyway, aren’t they?

AS: Yeah, majority of them are true! And then, it’s like none of them are particularly oppressive. Like you know, if you think about clichés and stuff a lot of them for certain other countries can be very offensive and racist. Whereas in Australia, nothing’s effective to impact my life in a racial-restrictive way so it’s nothing that bothers me.

KP: The worst thing that foreigners say about is that we drink Fosters when we don’t, so that’s about as offensive as it gets. Next. I got asked this on my livestream as well. I don’t know what the fascination with this question is. If a hypothetical mad scientist swapped your dad’s mind into your hypothetical male romantic partner and vice versa…

AS: Oh yeah, who would you fuck to…yeah, and I’m just like bold of you to assume I have a partner. I’m like “you guys could be stuck, I don’t care. That’s a you problem, not a me problem.”

KP: Why are there so many racist and misogynistic idols? No matter what group I search about, there’s always at least one member with such scandals. Is it related to them being grown up in a very closed environment or company without proper education? Well, he answered his own question or she did, didn’t they?

AS: Yeah, I won’t be flat-out racist and say something like, oh, it’s cause every Korean is like that because obviously that’s not the case. But if you look at social progression, there are certain issues that Korea are comparatively behind compared to more progressive countries and that also has an impact on that as well. But I mean, there’s plenty of racists, homophobic, misogynistic people in every country, so…Like, you know, look at Justin Bieber who was exposed for singing “One Less Lonely N-word” when he was at the height of his fame and it’s never had any sort of impact on his career. So, I highly don’t think that is a Korean-specific problem either.

KP: Yeah, I think it’s a fame-specific problem. Especially when you experience it when you’re very young because you’re in that world and you’re not experiencing a lot outside of it. I mean, you have your social media but if you’re spending like 12 hours a day…Every idol I’ve ever spoken to it’s like 12 hours a day every day at least doing this shit…there’s not a lot of time spent being culturally aware.

AS: And like, I won’t do, oppa didn’t mean it, because you know that’s such a cliché. It’s also, and it’s like, it’s not an excuse, but I will say a lot of behavior whether it be in regards to attitudes to certain things is learned behavior and parroted behavior and especially if your frontal cortex is not yet finished developing, it’s to do with what you’re exposed to, what you’re surrounded by, what other people who are around you encourage and make you think is normal, but obviously you do have a certain level of responsibility to question things that are around you as well. So yeah, it’s a combination of a lot of different things and it’s definitively not a Korean or K-pop specific problem.

KP: There’s plenty of racist or misogynistic people in Western groups. I should know, I’ve been in bands with some of them. It’s not that unusual for people to have those sort of thoughts. It’s just that it’s just such a focus on K-pop and what these people say and you know, so every now and again something slips out because…

AS: I mean, very fittingly that we’re talking about this right now and I’m scrolling Twitter and someone by the username of Tonestradamus just quoted “I’m not racist. I’m just 17. White people.” And it’s funny because, you know, so many people who are famous or being on Tik-Tok or being as real celebrities or performers, a vast majority of them have problematic pasts. Like Camila Cabello and how she used the N-word against Normani and that was a recent issues as well like that happened within a time period that’s quite recent. It wasn’t just like 2011. Obviously the time period not excusing the actions either way but it was at an age in an internet age where there is a lot more information available than there was, in say, 2010. But you should easily know calling your own black bandmate the N-word is offensive. And there were times where Normani was being sent pictures of her being lynched which is just horrible to think about. And it was by Camila Cabello’s own fans and she wasn’t doing anything to kind of speak up against that harassment or try and stop that from happening. And then it turns out she’s using that word against her teammate whilst her fans are doing—that’s awful! And then if you look at their career success since Fifth Harmony, who’s the one that’s the most successful career? It’s lke that’s…that’s insane to me. And if you also look at their talents as individuals as well, Normani’s got a good voice. And her song, “Motivation,” where she performed that, she was doing fucking flips on stage. And it’s just like, the levels that people have to do, you know, it’s a very cliché experience but it’s like, you know, the black woman is working a hundred times harder doing far more impressive things but she’s not even getting a shred of the opportunities that are being given to the, uhhh, I wouldn’t say Camila, she’s not White, but she’s definitely helluva lot lighter skinned. And she’s got some sort of…person of color, I’m apologizing if I’m saying the wrong terminology because it’s not my intention but I think she is Latina?

KP: I wouldn’t even know, I don’t know these people…I’m not educated enough to speak.

AS: Camila…very racist past that got exposed. No impact on her career. And she’s had two number one albums, so I’m not sure if the last one went number one but she had massive success off Havana and that full-length album and then that next album came out, she got exposed for being racist in the past. And you know, she’s still getting the Cinderella movie deal and her label’s still promoting her and you know, she’s still dating Shawn Mendez, and they’re sucha cute lovely couple together, but like, you know, who cares if she’s a racist? She’s popular~ Where’s that happening for Normani? Normani is doing, I’d say, she’s been far more impressive to me, in terms of the music she’s released even if it’s like…she has that song with Khalid, “Love Lies.” And then her single, “Motivation,” also a really really great song. Turns out, it was written by the person who wrote, “Hit me Baby One More Time” and I’m like *chef’s kiss* pop masterpiece—I loved it. Loved the music video, it was like a total throwback all of the things that are super nostalgic to all the things I adore, so yeah, I’m definitely team Normani in this situation and I’m rooting for her success, but it’s just like *deep sigh* it makes you hate the world sometimes. So again, this is a worldwide problem. This is like, right in our own backyards, in our own music industries. This is not a thing unique to Korea by any stretch of the imagination.

KP: Yeah, people are people. They’re not gonna change. But yeah, it is what it is. Let’s move on. Second last question, by the way. Why do companies let their idols do androgynous concepts knowing well that there’s gonna be backlash for some people. Are they trying to attract netizens’ attention or show their support to minorities?

AS: Hard to say really. I don’t know that there’s Amber obviously who is the idol that people would associate with that. There’s another one in that group, I think it’s called “Girls in the Park” GWSN, I think they’ve got an androgynous member as well. I think there’s a Chinese group that I’ve seen that I think they might have been all androgynous. Was one of them…and then there was another that was in the Rocket Girls, I think? I think? I’m not sure. I think it might be a potential way of appealing to a broader audience. Like I know in the case of f(x), they were all very different from each other. Like, all 5 of them were. And that was done to try and reach as broad an audience as possible and try and avoid a cliché stereotype of what a girl group should be. So, I think that it would be an intentional way of trying to separate themselves from what is considered to be the mold. That’s just my opinion really. I don’t have much…to say on it.

KP: Yeah, I don’t know…I just think it’s marketing and you know, the more things you throw out there, the more chance something’s gonna resonate with somebody. And there’s not point in having a group of 8 or 9 or 5 people and they’re all the same. You know, because you want to have that something that sticks out, that resonates with somebody and if you have 9 people in a group then you’d want them all to have fans. And you don’t always know what’s gonna be a hit, so you just sorta pick what you think will work. You try to mix it together and hope it all works out and then, you know, does anyone ever really predict who’s gonna be the most popular one in the group? You know, did anyone predict that Chuu would be the most popular person in LOONA?

AS: Interesting.

KP: But she is and so, that’s, I think, you know, I think it’s companies hedging their bets, in terms of personality. Because they’re trying to sell the personalities but you can’t sell a whole bunch of personalities that are all exactly the same. You need find one that sticks out. That’s why Jooe from Momoland got all the shine in that group because she came out with this exuberant personality that was different.

AS: Yeah, I think they were hedging their bets on Nancy to be honest. She got a lot of the front center treatment and then just Jooe being crazy, cool, being a bit quirky, and the dance routine got the attention and boosted the group.

KP: Yeah, sometimes it can happen that way. But then sometimes happens with someone like Hani from EXID. Anyway, last question for…for this podcast. Netizens are forgiving Wonho, but why weren’t they this generous and forgiving towards other idols. What made Wonho’s situation different?

AS: Depends who you classify as netizens cause I’m sure in Korea especially there’s gonna be a lot of people who still want to talk shit about him. Yeah, it’s like, what’s that quote that someone said, something vaguely like not all netizens because it’s like the same, the people who post hate comments on one article aren’t necessarily the people who are forgiving on another article. Like, they are two completely different comment sections. That’s not to say the same people carry over. So, I think that unfortunately for him, it’s always gonna be something mentioned in his name. I’m not 100% sure what the story with him was about. I think there was something to do with potential drug use. Yeah, it was always a bit vague. So yeah, I’m not really educated enough on Wonho to give much of a thought of this assessment. Like I don’t really, it doesn’t bother what they do provided that it’s not assault especially sexual assault. I’m just like, go nuts. Go take your drugs. Do what you want, doesn’t bother me. And I think that that’s an attitude that a lot of Westerners have. So, you know, Wonho being forgiven by Westerners very easily for that because we don’t really care that much about drugs.

KP: I mean, people gotta understand as well that when people start looking at what ‘netizens’ say, you’re often being fed a narrative by certain websites that’ll publish certain comments in favor of other comments.

AS: Mmhmm, Netizenbuzz obviously being the key example.

KP: But there are others as well, you know. I mean…

AS: Of course, like Pannchoa is another one.

KP: But, you know, cause they always put down the comments and put down how much something goes up, upvoted and downvoted, but those figures aren’t static, they change over time. So, depending on when someone happens to come to the article and decides to translate it, will make a big difference in where those things rank. And then, you also decide how many of those comments am I going to translate? Where I’m going to stop. And you can see…

AS: “Which narrative do I want to push?”

KP: So you’ll see sometimes they’ll translate a whole bunch and they’ll get to the kinda questioning ones at the bottom of it and sometimes they won’t. Sometimes they’ll just stop before they get to that point, so there’s so…when people start talking about netizen opinion or whatever, they’ve gotta realize that a. they’re being fed opinions which often isn’t actually the correct one or a consensus. And also, no one really cares anyway. I mean, it’s only…it’s like YouTube comments basically. Comments on entertainment articles aren’t really indicative of the population as a whole and what they think or fans as a whole and what they think. And I mean, even Netizenbuzz has a disclaimer on her site saying exactly that because presumably she’s sick of people being so retarded but then I think she eventually just gave up on trying make people see reason because she never writes any editorial content anymore whatsoever. I think they’ve just givem up and said “alright, we’re a click site—fuck it”. But, yeah, it’s just you know, if you talk to anyone who actually lives in Korea about netizen comments on Nate and Naver, they’d be just like, “what?” You know, like a minority of trolls basically.

AS: Yeah, well, I’ve always viewed netizen comments as like taking people from Twitter and then saying, this is how Western fans think. I’m like, they’re fucking idiots. It’s just like, you know, if you wouldn’t take a translated comment of stan Twitter as being the standard of how people think on the Wes, why would you do the same thing from Korean sites as well? It’s just like, you know, 15 year old stan accounts of the Korean equivalent postings things about either how fantastic their favorite is or shit talking every other group they perceive as a threat.

KP: It’s just lame stuff. Winners in life don’t leave comments like that, you know what I mean?

AS: Mmhmm.

KP: I’m sure, people who are very successful don’t sit there and say oh, what am I gonna troll people about on YouTube today? Busier doing other shit. But yeah, so Wonho, yeah, I don’t know. I think it was the computer games that made people forgive him. Anyway, that’s all I’ve got.

AS: Cool~! That was like three hours.

KP: I don’t know, but thank you. We’ve gotta stop this now because I’m gonna run out of hard drive room to store all this.

AS: Yeah, good luck.

KP: Thanks to talking to me once again. We’ll do it again at some point in the future. And there’ll be some more questions. Hopefully, hopefully less marry, fuck, kill questions.

AS: Yeah, I’m happy to do this in like a little bit more regular as well, so next time it isn’t so long so maybe a month or two. Just depends on how quickly the inbox fills up, so just keep me posted.

KP: Yeah, I’ll see how quickly it comes up, and you know.

AS: Yeah, I was about to say it’s not like I’m doing that much else.

KP: Yeah, I just thought I wanted to do it now because I figured you could probably use the entertainment.

AS: Yeah, a good solid two hours of entertainment.

KP: And you know, it’s also good to get you out there and let people know that you’re still alive.

AS: Yes!  My legacy will never die!

KP:  I can post it on Twitter and everyone can go “Oh my god, it’s AustralianSana. Burn the hag. Go away.”

AS: Why won’t this bitch stay dead? I’m like the Terminator!

KP: Yeah, always gonna like Jason Voorhees, there’s always be a sequel. So, haters can, you know, get fucked basically. You can harass them some more and I’ll help you with that—that’s all good. (AS: Always fun!) It’s been a pleasure as always and yeah, thanks very much for talking to this crusty old man and having a chat and we’ll do it again another time.

AS: Yeah, I’ll see you next time.

KP: See ya.

AS: Alrighty. Bye~!


Do you have a topic for the AustralianSana and Kpopalypse podcast series?  If so, use the question box below!  If no box appears, you can use the Yeojin link on the sidebar to submit your topic request!  Stay safe, caonimas!

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “AustralianSana & Kpopalypse podcast – Episode 10: 50 questions from k-pop fan hell

  1. In the case of Apink’s agency — now renamed Play M Entertainment — it’s obvious they cannot move the dial when handed a spectacular opportunity on a silver platter. They also manages Victon, which debuted in the overloaded year of 2016 and is only just now getting a bit of traction due to 2 members’ participation in the last season of Produce 101, with one making the final group. Even that momentum could not make poor Victon the comeback kings that Nuest became, X1 debacle notwithstanding.

  2. I would like a transcription of the podcast. I have little attention span lately and sometimes I could not decipher australian accent 😁 Stay safe Kpopalypse oppar and AustralianSana unnie 😃

    • Thank you for the transcription 😁😃.
      I did not see the dog f*cking coming. Just gonna share that my first exposure to porn was in 6th grade when my male classmates invited me to “see something interesting” then the video they showed turned out to be a woman f*cking a dog 😞. God that was so awful, my classmates at that time having some copies of porn including the dog one. That’s how sick the regulation of porn is in here.

Leave a reply, cao ni ma

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.