It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out some new releases!
Note that since there is no more radio show, the Roundup schedule has been moved to a few hours later, this is to pick up the Korean-time Monday night, which is when a lot of the big new releases from major labels drop each week. This was a popular request from caonimas, so enjoy! Or not…
Winner – Hold
Song is total garbage of course but there’s more Suhyun screentime here than the last five AKMU videos put together, so some good has come out of this.
Seventeen – Fallin’ Flower
Seventeen continue to be that other boy group who is continually incapable of having a good OR a bad song.
Oneus – A Song Written Easily
It’s amazing how even the most tired genre can sound great if you know how to write a melody.
Stray Kids – Mixtape: On Track
School uniform fetish fap concepts aren’t just for girl groups.
Suho – Let’s Love
There are approximately 234598623 Korean ballads that exist but Suho still has to do his own one because his fans won’t listen to any of the others even though they’re all exactly equal (lack of) quality.
MY.st – Don’t Know
So many iconic nugu locations in this video, including the “wire fence with signs on it” and the “Ned’s discount variety store house furnishings section”, that it really overshadows the song itself.
4Carat – Be Breathless
When you look at really young people in k-pop, you kind of want them to be a bit shitty at it, not out of any kind of malice, but just so you can say to yourself that at least they possibly weren’t tortured into perfection like most of the rest of them.
Kisum – Primero
Kisum is always doing weak crap like this.
Kang Daniel – 2U
Just the usual absolute nonsense.
Kang Daniel – Jealous
His other song is slightly better but not by much.
Yanu ft. YunB – Damn
One day someone in Korea will learn beat writing for five minutes before forgetting all their knowledge again.
Ong Seong Wu – Gravity
I’m as surprised as you are that this is actually any good.
Ong Seong Wu – Guess Who
And his other upbeat song is kind of boring. Imagine that.
Bursters – Smell The Rot
Well, that’s one way to protect yourself from Coronavirus and still shoot a music video.
Gracy – Only When You Don’t Love Me
I find every video from Gracy to be profoundly disturbing, with that robotic off-angle stare straight to camera. Someone please tell her how weird it looks.
Sleepy ft. Reddy – Flash Light
Okay, Sleepy likes Pharrel. That makes a lot of sense actually, certainly explains how he’s had like one good song in ten years.
Xydo ft. pH-1 – Betting
If there’s one good thing about all this social isolation, it’s that casinos are shutting down. Gambling sucks, and so does this song.
Vincent Blue ft. Verbal Jint – LTNS
Jazz is morally wrong. Don’t do jazz, kids.
Junoflo – On My Line
Weird how rappers in Korea can be good one minute and suck flat out the next. When they get a good song it seems to be just chance.
Mq x Loey – I’m Fine
How does boring shit like this get half a million views, that’s what I want to know. Is it really that bad being cooped up inside folks.
YunB – P
Hi-Lite continue to fail with all their male artists.
Kush – Reminisce
Dogs can hear ten times louder than humans. No wonder this one looks so sad.
Han Yo Han ft. Kid Milli – 400km
There’s a Flying V in the video, which means there’s a finite limit to how much I can hate this song.
Del.Mo ft. Dr.Lee – Gat
More people who don’t know how to program a drum machine pretending that anybody cares.
Sik-K – Hear Me
He shouldn’t sell himself short with that It G Ma colour scheme, the song’s pretty terrible but it’s not THAT bad.
Nafla – Ice Coffee
Fender Rhodes cancer.
Heykyoung Park – Rainbow
This acoustic folk was so dull that the lady chopped off all her hair just for something to do.
Boheme – Do-Re-Mi-Fa-Sol-La-Ti
Re, a drop of golden shit.
Soyoung Lim , Y.Sookyoung – The Other Score Vol.1
Well it’s different, but it doesn’t exactly grab my attention.
WooIn – Zzz
Going to ban stuff which is just random street and nature scenes over a boring slow beat. Just because everyone has Coronavirus quarantine doesn’t give people the excuse to go out when it’s deserted and shoot boring shit.
Repenteve ft. Jolly V – Warigari (What’s Up?)
Jolly V used to have diss raps against Tymee once. It’s hard to imagine either of them dissing anyone these days though with the sleepytime music they produce now.
M.C The Max – Bloom
M.C. The Minimum is back and as boring as ever.
Banhana – Something Like That
I love it when shit like this gets on 1theK channel and all the k-pop kiddies are like “omg so emotional” not realising how cookie-cutter this shit is and that 2346 songs exactly like this come out every month.
Song I Han – U Everyday
Really, kids. Every month. Not joking.
Trinity – Remember
They’re so over this shit that they couldn’t even be bothered opening their own mouths. I mean it’s not that bad really but after going through so much absolute crap on roundup lately I have barely any tolerance for slow songs even when they don’t completely suck.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Some kids doing Twice’s “Fancy” deliberately badly
The problem with this video, is that even though these kids are just goofing off, the effort that they put into making this is still impressive enough to completely undercut any humour that their “laziness” brings. I can’t laugh at people sucking at life if they actually don’t, but on the other hand I can’t be entertained by people being good at what they do if they’re deliberately not, even if they secretly are. I’d be more impressed if they either tried to sing and dance it properly, or if they just said “fuck it” and took a whole load of drugs. Either give a fuck or don’t – pick one.
That’s all for roundup this week, Kpopalypse will return!