Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 6/1/2020

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Welcome to the first Kpopalypse roundup of 2020!  Let’s check out some new releases!

The reason why OH&S compliance is a meme around these parts is because for all the slings and arrows I get about being a ‘hater’, ‘edgy’ or whatever other nonsense, I actually give a fuck about these idols, unlike their companies, and unlike their hypocritical fans who beg to let the agencies give their performers a rest while freaking out and pressuring the same companies like mad if their fave doesn’t release at least one worthless product every six months.  Let’s hope Wendy was holding that flower when she fell and it cushioned the impact by 0.01% or something.

Momoland – Thumbs Up

For those of you wondering if Momoland’s last-minute 2019 entry just missed out on list inclusion but will be featured in 2020 somewhere, the answer is “thumbs down”.

Nell – All This Fxxking Time

They might be rocking a little more than usual here, but the real proof that Nell aren’t a real rock band is that they can’t pass the Super 55 test.  Nobody’s fooled by those glowing amplifiers.

Uza&Shane – Kisscuse Me

The good thing about having a retro concept is that you can use old cheap camera equipment and it doesn’t look stupid.

Exid – Bad Girl For You

I thought they split up, but I guess what they really did was just dumped the markets that don’t matter.

TST – Count Down

This is about as weird as I’ve heard crappy Korean R&B pop get lately.  I support them trying to mix it up a little, but why not save experimentation like this for a genre that is actually worth bothering with in the first place.

Dongkiz – All I Need Is You

Instead of copying boring 80s theme songs, they’re just gone back to being generically awful.

Simba Zawadi ft. DJ Kendrickx – Anti-Hype

A good try, pity it saves the best rhythm for the last five seconds.

Giriboy ft. Yunhway – What’s Wrong

I think we all know what’s wrong.

Stray Kids – Gone Days

After a quality 2019 Stray Kids are back to doing stupid trap-pop and promoting furries.

Iris – Love Game

Kind of a little like Eyedi’s “& New” if you replaced all the really good instrumentation that song had with the same generic crap everybody always does.

msftz – 2080

Looks like in 2080 we’ll have cracked the secret to space stations and interstellar travel but effective lip balm will remain elusive technology.

Sorn ft. Edward Avila – Cater 2 U

While I’ve always maintained healthy cynicism about CLC’s “pro-woman” facade, Sorn singing “I’ll keep my figure right” on a song called “Cater 2 U” featuring noted fat-shamer Edward Aliva is a low point for k-pop that even I didn’t think was possible.

MCND – Top Gang

Oh dear.

N.Flying – It’s Okay

Typical soft rock nonsense but the video where the N.flying boys travel through dimensions to help a random girl with her homework or something is kinda cool fanfiction material.  That’s one way to get a fanbase.

Crush ft. Zion.T – Nighty Night

That dog is falling asleep and so am I.

M.O.N.T – Tired

Why are you shooting a video in Germany, isn’t Korea good enough for you?  The standards for nationalism are low.

Yoyomi – If You Love Me

Yoyomi’s trot sounds different to most trot and her leery straight-to-camera performance videos are the cheapest and perviest in k-pop.

Vinci – Can’t Erace

Dude that guy pouring corn syrup on your face was a hint that we didn’t want to hear you sing.

MC Sniper – Your Voice

It’s depressing when anyone does crap like this, but even more so when it’s a veteran who should know better.

Baek Z Young – No Love, No Heartbreak

I deleted a ton of the submissions that I got for roundup this week, easily over 75%, because fuck it I just don’t have the time to wade through crap, plus I’m keen to draw a line under 2019.  In retrospect I have no idea why I left this one in.

Layone ft. Ash-B – Love Paradox

Remember that girl Ash-B from years back?  No I didn’t think so.  Anyway she sucks now.

Loopy – No Fear

The worst thing about Autotune isn’t all the singers faking it, but all the rappers trying to be singers.

Nafla – Merlot

She shot him but somehow he keeps rapping.  Our worst nightmare.

Laysha – Freedom

Basically just an ad for underwear.  I calmly accept.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK

AOA Jimin Q&A for Allure

The only original member of AOA answers some questions.  “My dream was to become a rocker” – YES WE KNOW.  YOU CAN STILL LIVE THAT DREAM.  DO IT.  DO IT LIKE ROCKIT GIRL.

That’s all for this week’s roundup, more next week!

8 thoughts on “Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 6/1/2020”

  1. As soon as I saw “ft. Edward Avila”, I chose not to click on it. As a Cheshire and Sornshine (the latter being a subscriber to PRODUSORN), I really wish that Sorn would find better friends. Outside of CLC, it seems like her only friends in Korea are fat-shamers or guys who think it’s cool/funny to walk around wearing black caricature masks.

  3. Why would Sorn pick the worst Destiny’s Child song ever to cover? and involve Edward Avila of all people? I am baffled by her choices.

  5. Trot is the future! Stan Yoyomi!
    Also, the Laysha video is *literally* an underwear commercial (I didn’t know that Guess had an underwear line).

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