Kpopalypse’s second guide to the best erotic computer games if you’re Monsta X’s Wonho

Kpopalypse is back to help Monsta X’s Wonho out with more computer game recommendations!  Read on for all the gaming trufax!

Those who came in late to this important issue and may experience confusion about the theme of this post may do well to read the first guide, where it is explained that Wonho from Monsta X was noticed with a big tiddie anime CGI lock screen on his phone, and it was deduced that he is an erotic gamer and hentai fapper.  Fair enough too – idols are some of the most involuntarily celibates out there, your local random acne-scarred potential school shooter incel at least has somewhat of a fighting chance if they fix their shitty attitude without being cockblocked by a million-dollar company’s legalese (just ask ex-Girls’ Generation member Jessica who is at the time of writing busy bitterly scratching out an entire novel about how she wasn’t allowed to fuck back when her old group were riding high on the charts).  However the original Wonho guide is 18 months old, and a lot has happened in the world of busty fap-friendly gaming, so it’s time for Kpopalypse to bring Wonho and you an important update so you can keep fapping!

Note that in this list, prices haven’t been included as different vendors may have different prices, and also price can vary between country and also depending on sales.  I’ve also included a variety of stores where possible.  Note that some stores such as Steam may only carry censored versions of the game, you will need the uncensored patches to restore the full adult content, links have also been provided to these where applicable.


 

ROLE PLAYING GAMES

President Yukino

Steam

FAKKU

Mangagamer

JAST USA

Uncensored patch

President Yukino follows a similar plot to Material Girl (see the first guide), with a young woman of Hitomi-esque proportions who has 60 days to make 1 million yen by doing various part time work, such as a cafe attendant, a health service worker and even a pop idol (although oddly not a “president”, despite the title).  However in what might be a chillingly realistic touch for many, you also get to play as Yukino’s boyfriend who occasionally dates her but has impotence issues, and also faps to an online porn site without her knowledge.  This plot twist may lead to a “fapception” where you find yourself secretly fapping on your computer to someone else secretly fapping on their computer.

Yukino discovers the hard way that most people who run idol websites lack professional interview technique, if only she’d said yes to Kpopalypse Interview instead

The Material Girl influence is strong here, although President Yukino is by far the more polished product, being made with a newer game engine and higher resolution which should ensure smooth fapping action for Wonho.  The other area where President Yukino differs greatly from Material Girl is that the English localisation is from Kagura Games, which means excellent quality translations.  If the constant references to “bubby” were getting in the way of your fap on that game, you might find President Yukino’s greater care for the English language preferable.  Unfortunately President Yukino is also a lot more expensive, but you definitely get what you pay for in this case.

*

The Heiress

Steam

Uncensored patch

On the other end of the comprehensibility scale we have The Heiress, which has such terrible English translation that I still don’t even really know what the game is about after four hours of playing it.  Fortunately it’s cheap as shit, so I wouldn’t necessarily let that put you off because this is quality Wonho content for a very minimal price.  All I can tell you about any story aspect is that there’s a girl called Alice who has big boobs and she goes on random missions to kill people for no reason that I was able to determine.  However, Alice has big boobs so as far as I’m concerned she can take over the world if she wants.

Alice says fuck your idol diet because tiddies are important

There’s a few different pathways the game can take depending on how badly you deliberately fuck things up (as it’s hard to lose a fight by accident), and the action increases in classy-sexiness relative to how incompetently you guide Alice through her various quests.  The Heiress follows the common “lose-em-up” format of Wonho-friendly RPGs where failing key missions is actually what’s required to unlock the most interesting content, so it’s always worth saving your game right before a boss fight and then losing the fight just to see whether it was a fight you were “supposed to lose” or not.

*

Leanna’s Slice Of Life

Steam

FAKKU

Mangagamer

JAST USA

Uncensored patch

Leanna’s Slice Of Life is essentially very similar to President Yukino – in fact it’s so similar that it’s almost the same game, with Leanna working various part-time jobs in different boob-enhancing outfits in order to raise enough money for her husband.  There’s really only a few key differences.  One is that it’s in a fantasy-world setting, although the protagonist Leanna doesn’t actually do any dungeoneering herself, this is left to her hapless husband.  The other big difference is that Leanna is very, very fertile.

Is Leanna… some type of pregnancy machine?

Trips to the gynecologist and impromptu birth sessions are very frequent in this game, so if getting up the duff (or getting someone else up the duff) is something that you fap over then this is definitely a game for you.  I can’t speak for Wonho’s mileage in that regard, but Leanna does certainly have some curves so I think he’ll be happy with that aspect.  Personally, I think that if I were to choose one, President Yukino is a slightly better game just because I don’t exactly fantasise over the idea of paying child support to Leanna for a whole bunch of baby Kpopalypses.

*

Ideology In Friction

Steam

FAKKU

Mangagamer

JAST USA

Uncensored patch

Ideology In Friction is from the same developers behind Material Girl, Dark Elf and The Heiress, but comes with Kagura Games’ much improved English translations.  Unfortunately it also comes with a fairly high price point given how similar it is to those very cheap games, which is annoying.  However if you’re into complex plots, maybe it’s worth it.  The game throws so many characters, relationships and settings at you that even with the reasonably good English, it’s still not all that easy to keep track of what’s going on.  Especially if you’re skipping through the dialogue really quickly to get to what you bought the game for, which is all the classy-sexy Wonho action that’s buried mostly in the second half of this quite lengthy game.

Ideology In Friction’s protagonist Clacier faces a difficult decision at YG headquarters

The best scenes are reached not only by failing quests, but by having as many varied sexual experiences as possible to get all your “sex stats” up, as well as randomly murdering as many people as possible, it’s worthy checking out a walkthrough to maximise your enjoyment here.  Although it’s a little pricey, there’s lots of content, and Monsta X members longingly yearning for the day they can freely converse with WJSN members should definitely find enough faps here to relieve their frustrations.

*

Treasure Hunter Claire

Steam

FAKKU

Mangagamer

JAST USA

Uncensored patch

Treasure Hunter Claire is a refreshing change from a lot of Wonho RPGs with plot overload – Claire just wants as much money as possible, just because, and will do whatever it takes to get it.  For some reason this also means collecting lots of semen because it gives her some power for some reason that I can’t quite remember due to a spell or some bullshit.  Fuck, I really wasn’t paying that much attention to the plot.  What is more relevant is Claire’s boobs which definitely do meet required standards.

You know a game’s old-school like Seo Taiji & The Boys when they’re still using magazines

I played this game for a while, and then forgot about it, and then started playing it again recently in preparation for this post.  During that intervening time, the uncensor patch mysteriously stopped working, so with this game or in fact any of these games just be aware that updates can break the patch so you may have to reapply the latest patches at a future date.  I guess Wonho can get his dorm manager to download it while he’s away and can’t get to his computer.

*

ACTION GAMES

Kuonichi Botan

Steam

FAKKU

Mangagamer

JAST USA

Uncensored patch

With an RPG-Maker style front-end, once Kuonichi Botan gets past the exposition it’s actually largely a stealth-em-up, where the gameplay mainly involves sneaking past and/or killing enemies who have their backs turned in classic Thief/Metal Gear Solid/Deus Ex style, a genre where there generally aren’t enough games in my opinion.  Of course the gameplay isn’t anywhere near as sophisticated as those games (most notably, the strategic use of sound is completely absent), but then those games also didn’t have a protagonist as cute as Botan.

Botan is horrified to find out the truth about Burning Sun

The plot mainly revolves around revenge and like with most of these games, it’s too complex to get into here and I can barely remember the details anyway.  Of course it doesn’t really matter anyway as the plot is all just a setup for lots of Botan re-enacting your favourite Gain videos.  The fapability is high, but the classy-sexiness is so off-the-charts that even Gain herself probably would find some of the violence too extreme – the fully-uncensored version of the game still sees fit to warn you about certain scenes and makes viewing them optional.  While none of these games are for the easily-triggered, Kuonichi Botan is clearly only for the most mature-minded of mature gamers.

*

Phantom Thief Celianna

Steam

FAKKU

Mangagamer

JAST USA

Uncensored patch

Phantom Thief Celianna is also strictly an action game, with a traditional RPG-style front end.  However don’t be fooled by the world “thief” in the title, as there’s zero stealth involved here, it’s all about timing and rushing past fast-moving enemies and traps to accomplish your goals.  Where Phantom Thief Celianna does stay far more true to the Thief games, is in the sense that the plot of the game has our protagonist doing far too much boring saving people and nowhere near enough stealing shit.

Celianna’s accomplice Moon reflects, but I don’t think she needs a more mature image

Of course what the game does deliver in spades is hefty serves of quality Wonho-friendly content, and it’s a credit to the skills of our top-heavy heroes that they manage to remain so stealthy and fast-moving for the duration of the game.  However it must also be said that they have the weakest bladders of any action heroes that I’ve ever seen – if people in an Arnold Schwarzenegger action film had to take a piss as often as these ladies do, nobody would have ever made it to the chopper.

*

Insect Hazard

Steam

Uncensored patch

For something that actually looks a bit more traditionally action-based, you could try this cheap and cheerful side-scrolling shooter.  Okay maybe cheerful is the wrong word, as the story is basically that aliens have invaded a school and are getting classy-sexy with everyone.  Fortunately your protagonist has her trusty unlimited-ammunition pistol and incredible high-jumping moves to help repel the aliens and prevent her school turning into an Open World Entertainment training session.

Yes this game has a pink heart meter to show you if any breast has slipped out of clothe

This game is extremely difficult, mainly due to the control system which has no remapping and allows only very restrictive movement, perhaps simulating how difficult it must be to save a school from invading aliens while wearing a skirt and high heels.  However there’s a certain satisfaction to be had from shooting zombies in the dick and perfectly timing a leap over those annoying flying bee stings.  The game isn’t really as Wonho-friendly as it could be however, lacking some of the more user friendly features of other games such as easily accessible galleries and one-handed play, so fap potential is sadly quite limited.

*

Seed Of The Dead

Steam

Nutaku

If you fancy your action games a bit more graphically and conceptually modern, you could try Seed Of The Dead, a first-person shooter where you kill zombies with the assistance of three girls.  The action here is delivered with a combination of hand drawn scenes and 3D CGI, and for a Wonho-themed game the entire affair is quite ambitious.  The shooting action doesn’t really hold up to modern AAA-level shooters so if you’re expecting CS:GO responsiveness you’re going to be seriously let down, but you do get location damage, ironsights aiming, and a mechanic where you can have sex with the girls to replenish their health which I can confirm is exactly how it works in real life.

The walk back to the hotel after the Blackpink concert looks pretty much how I remember it

Only one of the three girls is really busty enough to meet Wonho’s required standards, and even she has some of the fakest-looking boobs ever, even by CGI boob standards.  It would have been nice if they threw a few more polygons at the models so we could get some proper gravitational effects on the boob flesh but oh well.  It’s a bit hard to fap during the fight scenes anyway with all the zombies everywhere, but the in-between cutscenes are designed with this more in mind, including thoughtful camera angle choices.  I definitely enjoyed this game just on a shooter level as a cheaper and sexier single-player version of Killing Floor (which plays very similar) however as far as fap goes it’s not quite as satisfying as Overwatch Mei porn.

*

CASUAL/PUZZLE GAMES

Tropical Liquor

Steam

Uncensored patch

Tropical Liquor is a “dating simulator”, which really just means a “casual game of some type with sex in it”, but in this game’s case they really do try to simulate dating.  In the game you talk to a girl, pay attention to what she likes, buy her a gift you know she’ll enjoy, then go out and watch her get shitfaced a bunch of times, have a lot more conversations, gradually see more and more boob, buy her a second better gift, and eventually fuck.  This dating experience definitely echoes quite a few of my own, so I’m going to say that this is a very realistic dating simulator.  The only thing I don’t remember from my real-life dating past is matching coloured cubes in a shotglass, but maybe my ex-girlfriends were actually doing that and I didn’t notice because I was too busy staring at thier tiddy meat.  Come to think of it, that seems likely.

I swear I didn’t put anything in the drink, my name’s not Seungri…

There’s various girls of different body and personality types, and none of them are really outrageous Wonho-level busty, but certainly the bustier ones are about on the same level as the ones who have dorms across the hallway from Monsta X, so I think he should be satisfied.  Unfortunately their personalities are all bland as fucking shit, so if you were looking forward to meeting a bratty nihilistic cunthole like Audrey from Hunie Pop, unfortunately that isn’t going to happen.

*

Monmusu

Steam

Uncensored patch

Monmusu is one of those “idle clicker games” where you basically just wait for progress bars to fill up and that’s the extent of the game.  Oh except in this case you also get to unlock “monster girls” periodically and then there’s scenes with each one where you have sex with them.  This raises an interesting question – is it really beastiality if the thing you’re having sex with doesn’t exist in reality?  I’m not sure, but the game is free, so you can take a look and attempt to answer that question for yourself if you like.

The new version of T-ara’s “Bo Peep Bo Peep” video has editing which is much easier on the eyes

There’s nine different monster girls all of whom meet required standards, and while they’re all annoying because thoust all doth talk like thy medieval slatterns, the artwork is excellent so it won’t bother you probably.

*

Mirror – The Lost Shards

Steam

Uncensored patch

It’s worth noting that the excellent match-three casual game Mirror has an expansion pack.  This doesn’t change the gameplay at all, but it does add four new girls into the mix, and the team behind the game have put much more work into the “content” that comes with these girls than the original group, so it’s definitely worth picking up for the fairly cheap price.  Don’t bother with any of the other paid DLC though.

K-pop fans around the world can relate to Mirror’s realistic dialogue

Unfortunately for Wonho, only two of the four girls would meet his stringent bustiness standards, but the two who do look so good that the other two really don’t matter.

*

Visual Novels

Negligee: Love Stories

Steam

Nutaku

This episode’s visual novel pick is Negligee: Love Stories, which has four intertwined stories about four different girls who all end up working in a lingerie store (that is, if you don’t fuck up and pick the wrong story choices).  I don’t usually bother with visual novels, because I like to have a game with my game, so I can game when I game, however this one here was banned in Australia when it first came out, so I went over and bought it on Nutaku so I could say a big FUCK YOU to my government censoring what I can fap to.  By the way the sex scenes in this particular visual novel are not classy-sexy at all and therefore far tamer than the majority of what’s here, so I’m not even sure why the Australian government picked on this title in particular, they just wanted to be cunts I guess.

Negligee protagonist Jasmin finds out from her manager how much Kpopalypse just spent on buying IU’s guitar

Anyway, all scenes and girls here look great and Wonho would definitely approve.  Make sure you buy this one if interested, just to annoy the conservative idiots who run Australia and want to censor the air we breathe.  Not every country gets things like “freedom of speech” and a “bill of rights” you know.  I guess that’s the thing that sucks the most about living in a former prison colony.


That’s all for your Wonho wrap-up!  Keep fapping, Monsta X – Kpopalypse will return soon!

3 thoughts on “Kpopalypse’s second guide to the best erotic computer games if you’re Monsta X’s Wonho

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