It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! let’s check out some new releases!
BOL4 – Workaholic
The best thing about this is the singer’s hair, I think she worked a lot harder on that than the actual song, which is just the usual coffee-shop-by-numbers that they were doing before “Red Diary”.
BOL4 – 25
On the other hand their other feature track is more modern sounding, but sucks far more. Hearing her sing “twenty five” over and over is seriously grating.
Dreamcatcher – Breaking Out
It’s a good thing that there’s a heavy chorus because everything leading up to it is pretty pathetic. We didn’t need more of this sound in k-pop in 2019.
IZ*ONE – Vampire
Overly present vocals that don’t have the usual blandifying soft Autotune treatment are probably going to bother k-pop listeners raised on a diet of fairy floss and have them recoil in horror, but there’s nothing too drastically wrong (or right) with the actual song once you take away the fact that whoever recorded this clearly didn’t give a fuck.
FTIsland – Quit
They’re making my job real easy with these song titles aren’t they. Still, this isn’t that bad that they should give up or anything, but FTIsland sure ain’t no X Japan.
Sunwoojunga – To Zero
Tedious art-wank that probably would have impressed me hugely when I was thirteen. If you’re also thirteen you can consider that a recommendation I guess, now stop reading this blog before I tell your parents.
WeGirls – Ride
It’s not completely awful, which is actually quite an achievement for something in the tropical shithouse style.
Haubi – You’re Always My Side
Haubi might not be as attractive as your usual trot singer but her song is better.
Pierce – Villain
It always creeps me out to see girls this young in a k-pop group. I don’t even want to think about what their diet is like.
Dongkiz – Dreaming You
Your usual “gosh we love our fans” type bullshit song, although far from the worst of its type.
Chungha, Mommy Son – Fast
I’d wear a mask, too.
Monsta X – Pepsi For The Love Of It
It’s kinda shitty, but not because it’s a commercial or anything, I mean we’ve had good commercial songs this year.
Wiz – Sunlight
It’s a bit sad if this is what rock in Korea has become.
BB – Never Wake Up
They put “hip-hop” in brackets right there before the song title because there’s no way you’d be able to tell otherwise.
Sim Yejun – After Shower
The usual bullshit by some guy who wishes he was in SHINee or something, but SHINee always sucked at this kind of smooth R&B thing and so does he.
Jang HeeWon – Let’s Dance For Me
Not much dancing going on here.
Ku One Chan – We Need
When you’re flying through the galaxy, wear your fucking seatbelts. What’s wrong with you people? Didn’t Ladies Code teach you anything?
HENG – Summer’summer
Stop linking me porn for roundup guys. This blog isn’t like that.
Kim Young Geun – Not Happy
There’s a lot of hugging and embracing in this music video. It’s good to see actors emotionally support each other through the tough times of having to be in crappy Korean ballad music videos.
Ji Dong Kuk – The Way Back To You
I think she’s just crying from all the dust in there. Put those books away properly damnit, that’s a fire hazard to leave everything like that.
Wilcox – Rainman
Wilcox is always bullshit, one of those artists where you can safely not bother clicking on the videos because it’s just never going to be good. I guess he writes his own songs.
Wilcox ft. Boni – Rose
Just a shame that poor old Boni gets dragged into this but oh well. Maybe she can take legal action or something.
Soovi – Chained Up in Diamonds
UV – World Tension
You know it’s a bad week in k-pop when even UV can’t quite get it right.
LambC ft. Ko Youngbae – You
Fucking jazz chords. Just say no, kids.
Ryu Su A – H!
It takes a lot to creep me out but I think this girl singing into a pine cone just passed the threshold of wrongness.
Holmsted ft. Chaanill – Time Goes By
It’s just natural law that no song called “Time Goes By” can ever be good.
Jeon Sang Keun – I Still Love You A Lot
She doesn’t love you at all. She has hear earbuds in while you’re talking to her. Get the hint, bro.
Hyun Su – If
bintage ft. Donggyoung – Workroom
More shit. “Seoul Music” YouTube channel is a waste of time. It’s like their government wants everyone else to hate them.
Jdle – Cinderella
Supposed “indie” shit that sounds exactly the same as all the other shit. The term truly has no meaning.
SarahKayaComson – El Macho
Your worst nightmare has arrived. Sesame Street has discovered Korean hip-hop/R&B lite.
Del.Mo – Aqua Girl
Too much aqua, not enough girl.
Wavycake ft. hatts, Crucial Star – Space
I think the space is between their ears.
Knave – Call Me Back
If you’re not getting phone calls, maybe you should be asking yourself why this is.
Southcarrey – Bullet
Who the hell walks out of a studio after cutting something like this and thinks “gosh that was a hard day’s work, but gee we did a good job didn’t we”.
Oriental Showcus – Break The Routine
Swing jazz is all very well but scat vocal is just immoral.
Tiffany Young – Magnetic Moon (Tony Romera remix)
It’s had enough of the original song bleached out of it to the point where it doesn’t even sound like the same piece of music, which would be a good thing if any of the stuff that was replacing it was worth a shit.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Should K-pop stars be punished for their past bullying?
The interview with Tvixxbar about experiencing bullying from a k-pop idol has really taken off, with a lot of mixed reactions being generated, as fans of The Boyz struggle to deal with the possibility that one of their favourite group’s members might have been a bully in the past. For the record, I don’t think Eric should be removed from his group, “cancelled” etc, I think that mentality is silly. I just think that idols shouldn’t have to pretend to be perfect, because none of us are perfect, being flawed humans and doing flawed human stuff should be acknowledged and dealt with openly. The main objection people are having with the interview is that he was only thirteen at the time… and that’s true, but let’s also consider the fact that so was his alleged victim, and also consider the fact that regardless of the age when it happens bullying has a real human cost which includes ongoing mental health issues and even suicide in some cases. What should happen from here in my opinion is Tvixxbar’s call, if it were me I would have thought a simple acknowledgement and apology would be enough, but would his agency allow it, even privately? To me, this isn’t a so much a problem with Eric, as a problem with the system Eric is in that demands a veneer of moral perfection at all costs. The video above explores the issue “what to do about idol bullying?” in a more general sense and is worth a watch if you care about this issue.
That’s all for this post! Kpopalypse will return soon, but in the meantime remember that the latest Kpopalypse survey is now live, so don’t forget to participate! Stay safe, caonimas!