Kpopalypse’s guide to dating busty women for Kang Daniel to use when dating Twice’s Jihyo

Important dating news recently rocked the world of k-pop, as Wanna One’s Kang Daniel was revealed to be dating Twice’s Jihyo.  However, does Kang Daniel really know how to handle Jihyo?  I think it’s important that Daniel treats Jihyo right, so rather than leave everything to chance, I thought I’d lend a hand with a little bit of help.  If you’re reading this and you’re not Kang Daniel, or also not someone else who is dating a girl of Jihyoesque proportions, then this post isn’t really for you so feel free to consider reading it strictly optional.  Kang Daniel and other interested parties, read on!

Fig. 1 – Jihyo

Now it’s one thing for a Korean pop idol to dream about dating a girl with boobs like Jihyo, as we all know Wonho does, but what to do when such a fantasy becomes a reality?  As Kpopalypse has much experience with dating busty females over long-term relationships (current one over 9 years and going strong) and always has the best interests of your favourite k-pop idols in mind, I feel that I am exceptionally qualified to put together this guide for Kang Daniel so that he can ensure that his relationship with Jihyo progresses in a smooth and harmonious manner.  I hope that this guide is useful for all parties concerned, and maybe some others will find it useful too, or at least a vaguely amusing time-killer while they scratch their heads and wonder why someone would have written this crap.

Fact 1: Jihyo’s boobs are big – but Jihyo is more than just boobs

Consider this picture of Jihyo, highlighting her boob region.

Fig. 2 – Jihyo (boob region highlighted)

Jihyo definitely has big boobs for a k-pop.  However, it may surprise Kang Daniel to know that even though Jihyo has big boobs, Jihyo is approximately 85% non-boob by region.  Therefore, we can deduce that when dating Jihyo, while it is important to appreciate and not ignore Jihyo boob, it is also important to appreciate and not ignore the other qualities of Jihyo that are non-boob, since we are dating the entirety of Jihyo rather than just the boob portion.  For optimal dating results, appreciation of Jihyo boob should constitute 15% of overall Jihyo appreciation time.

Fact 2: Jihyo’s boobs are part of Jihyo

Consider a highly physical dance routine such as the below.

Jihyo’s boobs, being part of Jihyo, means that they exhibit many of the same physical symptoms as the rest of Jihyo.  In the case of a busty person engaging in strenuous exercise such as a busy k-pop dance routine, this means sweat.  Underboob sweat is a real and pervasive phenomenon that affects all women with boobs, and the more boobs, the more sweat to contend with.  Therefore, immediately after her comeback stage is probably not the best time for you to engage in physical boob appreciation.  Hold back for a moment and give Jihyo time to freshen up and take a shower, you’ll both be happier as a result.

Fact 3: Jihyo’s boobs have weight

Women who have boobs have to carry them around all the time, and this can cause issues.  Observe the following animated picture from Twice’s “Likey“.

Fig. 3 – Jihyo boob mass and gravitational pull demonstration (50% speed)

In the above animated picture, the effects of boob mass and gravitational pull can be observed.  These effects add up over a long period, such as the lifespan of a girl with big boobs.  Carrying around a large amount of boob flesh is a weight that a woman such as Jihyo is never free of during her lifetime.  To assist with this constant weight, an arcane, uncomfortable device called a “brassiere” (or “bra” for short) has been invented.  Know the following about these devices:

  • Bras add extra apparent boob volume and firmness when worn (which is why females do not need a firm breast to be a kpop).
  • Some women who are a k-pop go without bras in public and this should be supported – but in general, the bustier the female, the less likely this is to occur.  You can assume that Jihyo always wears a bra.
  • While carrying heavy boobs is not comfortable, bras are also not comfortable for long periods.  Expect Jihyo to remove her bra immediately when not in polite company (while keeping the rest of her clothes on – busty women are very good at this).  If this happens when you are in the room, take it as a compliment that she feels comfortable with you, it means that your relationship has progressed past the “polite” phase.
  • Spending money on good quality bras is a worthwhile investment for your date.  However don’t buy them as a “surprise gift”, instead go to the store together and let her try them on.  Comfort is everything and this can only be assessed properly in a try-before-you-buy situation.
  • A well-fitted bra can give the illusion of perfect symmetry most of the time, however…

Fact 4: Jihyo’s boobs are not symmetrical

Observe the following picture of Jihyo.

Fig. 4 – Jihyo boob asymmetry in light/loose clothing

Like almost all women, Jihyo’s left boob is bigger than her right boob (related – most male left testicles hang lower).  Be prepared for some asymmetrical boob action when your relationship with Jihyo progresses to the disrobing stage.  The only women who have perfectly even breasts are those who have had breast surgery, where the surgeon will “even up” the differences during the procedure (and even then, they don’t get it completely even).  Jihyo is not one of those women.  Remember that many women are also self-conscious about their asymmetry, so upon boob-flesh observation remember to show your full appreciation and do not fuss over any supposed negative aspects.  It’s our imperfections that make us beautiful and more human, after all.

Fact 5: Jihyo’s boobs will feel nice – for both of you, but play respectfully

Boobs are generally sensitive erogenous zones, which should certainly be paid attention to during any sexual activities with Jihyo.  However, there are many important aspects to consider!

Fig. 5 – Jihyo demonstrating correct introductory underhand boob-caressing technique

Women with larger breasts tend to naturally attract partners who are very interested in breasts, therefore they are used to their partners being very keen to play, so this means that Jihyo will generally be understanding about you wanting to touch boob-flesh.  However, it’s important to also consider the following:

  • Boob sensitivity can vary, often with the female monthly cycle, so start gently because not many people like to be mauled – don’t worry, if you’re not doing it hard enough, she’ll tell you
  • Larger breasts do put stress on the back muscles, so consider incorporating a back massage into your activities, rare is the woman who does not enjoy a good backrub
  • If it’s your first time with Jihyo it’s wise to check in with whether she enjoys some specific boob-related activities more than others, prioritising her pleasure and putting her needs first will make her happier and more willing to return the favour
  • Pay attention to non-verbal cues, face and body language will tell you a lot about whether you should be doing more or less of whatever you’re doing
  • You’ll never truly know what she likes unless you ask – don’t be shy!
  • Do keep a towel handy – while Seungri should obviously never be used as a role model for these situations, he was at least right about that part

That’s all for this guide – good luck Daniel and make sure that you treat Jihyo right, or you’ll be burned at the stake by Kpopalypse, all his readers, plus the entirety of r/kpopfap!  No pressure.

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