It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out some new releases!
NCT 127 – Superhuman
Get Shinee’s “Lucifer“, produce the shit out of the backing track until it shines like gold, then get all the melody and harmony that song had and put it in a mixing pot and swirl it around until it resembles a bland mush, and then release it, fuck it.
Eunjung – Desire
Eunjung clearly just played Dreamcatcher’s albums to her engineers and told them “can I have some of what they’re having?”
GOT7 – Eclipse
Just another boring song.
Lovelyz – Beautiful Days
Just a little more oomph in the backings for the chorus and this could have been amazing.
Astro – One In A Million
It’s actually one of the better songs in this roundup despite not being very good.
Cherry Bullet – Really Really
Well it’s better than their other crap song. What’s with the gamer concepts though, aiming for that nerd demographic I guess. I guess they figure if you’ve got money for a new graphics card and gaming monitor you might have spare change for some Cherry Bullet merch.
Lim Kim – Sal-Ki
Much like Nada’s “Trippin” this is a song where 100% of the interest is in the backing track. Unfortunately, unlike “Trippin”, it’s not very good.
3YE – Do My Thang
Wow this is terrible. Apparently this is what Apple.B have morphed into. Maybe they should be called Apple F-.
Berry Good – Oh! Oh!
Actually pretty good until a below-average chorus crashes the party and ruins it.
Hyolyn – You Know Better
I was going to write about how I didn’t like this, but Hyolyn just emailed me and said that she wants to meet me, so I’d better be nice.
AB6IX – Breathe
Yeah it’s nothing that great.
Beenzino & E-Sens – OKGO
This came out last week and I didn’t review it on purpose because I figured nobody would care. Then you all messaged me saying that you wanted this here this week. Not sure why it’s the usual Autotuned crap and I have nothing innovative or interesting to say about it.
Hitchhiker – Nada
Cool production as always but I’m not so sure about the choice of vocals, oh well. It’ll annoy some radio listeners, Hitchhiker is always reliable for that.
Wheein – 25
Not sure why it’s called 25, maybe it’s supposed to be Wheein’s age, or maybe it’s the amount of seconds the average listener lasts before falling asleep.
Katie – Thinkin Bout You
Katie isn’t on YG anymore and that’s probably a good thing for her, but it’s also a shame because for all their faults YG sometimes write a reasonable song in between organising rapes.
5tion – Wanna Know You
It’s okay. Could have been really good but it’s missing something.
Kim Sun Jae – Radio
He looks how I feel when I listen to this.
Kisses – Painting
A terrible song and a video really designed only so you can look at this girl a lot. Pretty much just porn.
Soyoon – zz’city
I don’t know who this is but this is crap.
Wonji – Hold My Hand
I don’t like to say “who is this nugu” because it can be seen as derogatory, but who is this nugu.
Yoon Hyun Sang – Sad But Pretending I’m Not
It’s okay – you don’t have to pretend. This shit song makes me sad too.
Stella Jang – Fine Dust
Well, the dancing’s nice I suppose.
Mail – DM
The mail has arrived and it’s just bills again, plus a creepy letter from that ex you’d rather not hear from.
Bumjin – Regret
She seems regretful that she’s in this video for this boring crap. We should all be crying with her.
Ants – Trip
A very unexciting trip of scrolling images with dull music.
Goho – Dive
This guy sounds like he’s about to stop singing and just break down and cry. Actually maybe that’s a good idea.
Soyou & Ovan – Rain Drop
Soyou is sadly coming down with “hot girl who never appears in her own videos” syndrome. There needs to be an expose.
Onewe – Ring On My Ears
I don’t like that floor, it’s fucking with my audio engineer’s OH&S compliance instincts.
Onewe – Reminisce About All
This is much better. The floor I mean, not the song – the song is still bullshit unfortunately.
Nu’est – Talk About Love
Let’s talk about overuse of Autotune, stupid falsetto vocals, and R&B shit. Oh, rather not talk anymore? Well okay.
Cherry B – Lovin U
I’m not sure if this is even meant to be a song or just a very scary first person dating simulator.
Beijo – Meu Samba
It took me a while to realise why I found this so uncomfortable to listen to but then I realised it’s that fucking dog-woofing noise, or whatever the fuck that is. People will just make a song with anything these days, won’t they.
Woo-ah – Issue
Actually really cool but the harmony lets it down a little. Something other than sitting on one chord for half of it would have helped.
A lot of rappers do a thing
And it’s not that great. Can that last guy even rap?
Jay Park & Hit-Boy – K-Town
This makes me never want to go to a club again.
Sik-K – Love Aches
Really painful. Why do rappers suck so much now.
The Quiett, Sik-K, Beenzino, CHANGMO – The Fearless Ones
Yeah yeah, you’re not that cool, just stop it until you get some proper hard beats. Even western rappers are finally realising that they fucked up by being too soft, but sadly the damage is now done worldwide.
Turboy ft. Turboy Friends – Flower
Girl standing in a field of flowers, it’s gotta be another boring ballad, right? Yeah nah. I’ll just say that if you take a wild random guess at the musical directions that this song will take by 30, 60 and 90 seconds in you’ll probably be completely wrong on all three counts. I’d already featured Turboy with the incredibly awful “Bean Bean Bean” but I reckon they’ve redeemed themselves with this one just because it’s so far out of the field (literally) that it’s impossible not to like it.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Loona – NCT 127 Cherry Bomb Dance Cover
Those Loona girls are back at it again, showing just how great k-pop girls look when dancing to k-pop boy group dance routines. People couldn’t believe that I liked this song when it came out but hopefully some who doubted will now see that there was nothing wrong with the song and it was just their difficulty watching a bunch of teased, primped young boys do this instead of stannable Loona that biased them against “Cherry Bomb”.
That’s all for this week’s roundup – more songs next week!
10 thoughts on “Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 27/5/2019”
The “dog-woofing noise” is a cuíca lol. It’s very used in samba music. Now, why did they decide to make a weird cover of a samba song I don’t know. I’m not a fan of the instrument sound either, but as a brazilian, I guess I just got used to it. I actually know someone that plays that instrument, for whatever reason…
I’m REALLY surprised to see this cover here. Lol. WTF it’s a cover of a SAMBA
Was what you said about Hyolyn just a joke, or will there be a Kpopalypse interview?!
It’s a reference to a recent controversy where Hyolyn wants to meet one of her alleged bully victims.
Eunjung – so happy the Dreamcatcher influence is (finally) spreading…
Lim Kim – where’s she been all this time? Glad to hear she’s still active.
Wheein – you go girl! Too overlooked, but a stronger song next time, ok?
LOONA – ok, I give in. I’ve resisted Loona this whole time, but DAMN, they are an excellent dance team! I’d say they’re on the level of Gfriend and Dreamcatcher (don’t hate me!)
I hadn’t heard Cherry Bomb before the LOONA cover, and I feel strongly that the song sucks balls
Have you ever listened to the instrumental? The quality improves quite a bit when the vocals are taken away. I thought it sucked at first too, but it’s a lot more enjoyable when you don’t have to listen to guys going “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.”
Dunno, that 3YE debut is pretty good imo…
Lovelyz are the definite winners of the week for me! I can see what you mean by wanting more oomph from the chorus, but I quite like the airy and shimmery quality of it. The rest of the song is so, incredibly good, too. This might just be one of my favorite title tracks since Now, We!
Calling Goo Hara’s ex crappy is putting it nicely
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