The Kpopalypse 2019 survey of important trufax – THE RESULTS!

This post has all the results of the Kpopalypse 2019 survey of important trufax – read on to find out more!

Over 500 caonimas did the survey – thank you all for participating!  Let’s take a look at the results!

Question 1: Hi! How are you? Answer in as much or as little detail as applicable.

Most people were good.  I’m good too!  As usual Kpopalypse will cherry-pick random responses from readers!

I’ve been struck with a severe case of weeb syndrome, how did you overcome yours when you were diagnosed?

I started following j-pop.  In less than a week I was cured of weebdom forever, as well as the desire to care about j-pop ever again.

Hi Oppar, tbh I always look forward to this question because it gives me a chance to unload. I am doing pretty terribly to be honest. I’ve been suicidal and really depressed and checked myself into a crisis center for the past 4 days. My mum flew down to come see me because she is worried. I don’t understand why I’m hurting so much, but I just feel very empty and purposeless, and that I will never be happy in this lifetime. I also got rejected from the guy that I liked and he started avoiding me (tho he is a really really nice guy) and that was one of the triggers. I’m 22 and I’ve never had a boyfriend, and it feels at this rate I will never get one on account of how damaged I am. And when I look in my future I just see myself hurting, I see myself alone and that scared me because being alone is one of my phobias (along with rejection, abandonment and trust lmao) what I’m trying to say is, I can’t feasibly see any possible life where I will be free from this pain, and I don’t see the point in continuing with life if I will just be hurt constantly over and over with no real lasting happiness.

I never had a girlfriend at 22 either and felt much the same, but shit then started happening for me.  Good luck, but you won’t need it because things will start happening for you.  In the meantime it’ll help to worry about these things less, every time I had something turn up it was when I really wasn’t expecting it.

Hi, I’m fine and hope you’re doing well too.
I’m facing that classic teenage problem of “I’m in love with my best friend but I’m afraid of ruining our amazing firendship if I tel him”.

Friendships are always worth ruining for the chance of something more.  It’s not that hard to make friends with people.  Step up.

“My president” is a racist clown who makes me rage stroke every day. I used to use k-pop as an escape mechanism….then we all got Burnt By The Sun. Which is a Russian movie about the Stalin era, check it out some time. Somehow it’s all connected…


I have a conspiracy that my professors get together and put all of my exams on the same day to make my life harder. So there’s that.

It’s probably true, professors love fucking with people.

I’d be better if someone would stop AJ from posting Rapist Group Chat articles every five seconds. I also miss the days when I could hate Seungri for no reason beyond him seeming like a douche… now it’s validated and I can’t pretend to be some proto-hipster.

The eternal struggle.

fuck off

no u

Hey, there is this young woman named Kate Miller-Heidke, married and participating in this contest about Europe and Australia, and she’s from down under, so what do you think, will she win?


Not feeling too great atm,however your blog has always been pretty edgy and hilarious. Admittedly some things are not to be joked at, but the stupidity of the kpop community at large as it is means that most of your content is more than welcome.

If this blog actually qualifies as “edgy” instead of just “stupid” you guys must be consuming some pretty soft-ass content.  But I’m glad you’re enjoying the site!

Hello. I am doing fine given that reading your articles for these past years have prepared me for what’s happening to the Kpop world right now. Surprised but not surprised. You can say that Kpopalypse has prepared me for kpopalypse.

Awesome.  That’s exactly the way it’s supposed to work.

I just discovered my hairline is receding for the past few weeks and I’m basically between panicking because it’s practically inevitable and there’s nothing I can really do except slow the process or try to be calm and think it’s not that bad. I’m 19. ;-;

No sympathy from me!

Hi, I’m doing fine. I hope you are, too. The only setback in my life currently is the fact that I can’t seem to make “Escape from the Idol Dungeon” work on my Macbook. But it’s okay! Nothing’s impossible with high determination levels so I’ll try again and again. By the way, I watched your livestream in which you played the game (since I couldn’t do it myself) and I must say I greatly appreciated all the inside jokes and the game as a whole, so thank you for providing great content, as usual. I can’t wait to play it! I liked the concept so much it made me want to write up a plot and make my own RPG as well, and I decided I’ll start working on that next month! Thanks for the inspiration, oppar, and don’t worry, I won’t plagiarise you or anything. Enjoy your day, 草泥马!

I’m no expert on the Mac side – a reader did the Mac port for me.  You could buy a mega cheap used PC and play it on that probably, it’d probably run just about right on a system made last decade that you could get at a garage sale for ten bucks.

better than seungri’s apologists and enablers right now as they snivel into a collection of posters and albums of his, whilst typing away furiously on their keyboard, defending him while taking a neutral, “we just have to wait and see what the corrupted police’s verdict is before labelling him as a dirty dirty pimp he’s really not like that he waved at me once when i was in the crowd for one of his concerts i swear” disingenuous stance. Gee i wonder where this mindset was for like the past nine years in kpop for all the previous “scandals” that took place. Shocking to only watch this attitude being applied to their fave. Anyway i’m doing good, hope you are too!

I’m good!

I got to see Red Velvet in Chicago and then Tiffany in SF (my first two kpop-related concerts ever) so I’d say I’m pretty good 🙂

Definitely jealous.  You Americans and your k-pop privilege.  Imagine getting to choose what k-pop concert you want to go to.

[scandalous tipoff about the shocking true nature of the k-pop industry deleted]

If you have scandalous tipoffs and dirt, send them directly to my email inbox!  The email address is on the “about” page.

pretty fucking shit but distracting myself from the reality with this survey. thx oppar!

Happy to assist!

Not good, I just keep procrastinating and I know I’m self-sabotaging myself. I don’t know how to snap of it. I have to write my master’s thesis and I still haven’t started and I have a ton of essays to hand in. So everything’s shit right now. What about you?

I’m good, but you need to increase your determination levels.  Listen to this song, it’s about winning at life and it’s very motivating.  Be like Yves.

I’m very conflicted oppar. I’m much better at humanities-related subjects but I also don’t want to be homeless, so I’m probably going to pursue a STEM degree. Thankfully I have a fun poll to take my mind off these stressful decisions.

Any degree is better than no degree.  Do what you will enjoy and that you can pass.  It’s three years (or more) of your life, you want it to not be shit.

I’m trying to hang in there. My mom got hospitalized because of cancer, but she’s fighting through it. I flew in the next day soon as i heard the news. I know she will overcome it. How about you?

I’m good!  Good luck to your mom!

I moved to the land down under recently. I can’t understand what your countrymen are saying half the time because of their accents and slang. It’s mildly frustrating in classes. I’ll probably get used to it eventually.

Yeah sorry, we’re cunts like that.  You’ll get used to us deros soon.

Not great, but looking forward to better. I am in the middle of a set of three bronchoscopy procedures for asthma called bronchial thermoplasty which, hopefully, should get me a) breathing without coughing and wheezing again, and b) off 6 of the 8 medicines I’m currently on. I’ve gotten handicapped this past year, Oppar, and it’s sucked. I can barely meet Ginger the mini horse, and she’s pissed at me. Also, if you want to share this for people who want to follow the bronchial thermoplasty journey, since there’s not much information out there, and there are a lot of asthmatics, they can find me on reddit as JYQE.

Follow this person, they need some bronchial love!

Getting more and more weirded out by kpop fans…it’s amazing how strange they become because of their faves. And now thinking about how I used to be like that. *sigh*

Don’t be sad – enjoy your improved mental health!

Things are good! Finished a show and made a good few friends through it. Have a better idea of what I want to do in my life and I’m no longer single bc I’m slightly less offended by stuff. Thx oppar

You’re welcome!

Im ok! Actually this week was kinda rough cause someone from my university committed suicide..they were between an acquaintance and friend to me, but even then just knowing the person who did it feels really different from some random person who did it. Presumably they did it from the pressure of school and mediocre results from studying extremely hard, which made it even more sad for me cause I have and have had similar experiences. This incident kinda made me realize that this kind of shit happens everywhere..yet I have never cared about those incidents as much as this one. Even if future incidents occur involving people I don’t know I don’t think I will care as much as I have for the one that just happened. Is that normal?

Yes.  Look up “monkeysphere”.

Good, actually. The therapy actually works, who knew? Or maybe it’s just Apink’s %% reformatting the brain. Either way, it’s cool.

Cool!  Caonimas with mental health issues may want to listen to “%%”.

Physically I’m great, just a little iron-deficient.

Since I’m a young teenager, I’ve been feeling what i think every teenager feels, where I just don’t feel like I fit in anywhere. It’s why i got myself into K-pop in the first place, because I felt like I could feel a sense of belonging to a fandom. But even when it comes to K-pop I feel like such an outsider, whenever I meet someone I like they’re always so much more attached and crazy about their fave than I am, and it’s been this way forever.

I didn’t think it would turn out to be a problem, but since I came back to Twitter (which was a mistake) I’ve made some friends that I actually like (when we aren’t talking about kpop), but to be honest: their fangirling annoys the shit out of me. And I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around them constantly because most of the things I would say normally (about kpop) would be considered radical and blasphemous by them. One time in a group chat on Twitter, all of my mutuals were FREAKING OUT about an mv dropping in a few minutes. I’m talking keyboard smashes, CAPS LOCK, thirst messages. I wrote “it’s just a video, chill out”, and got destroyed by everyone in the chat because “ITS A COMEBACK AND I CAN FEEL HOWEVER I WANT TO”.

I want to leave stan twitter so badly, because it makes me feel so alienated, but at the same time I don’t want to feel alone and out of the loop. I still have a yearning to be part of something. I wish i could meet and have friendships with people my age who feel the same way about kpop as I do, but I dunno where to start.

Yeah, that’s my tiny problem that really isn’t a big deal.

Yeah it’s a struggle sometimes to find sensible people.  Hopefully more people that you know read this blog and get some rationality happening – but they probably won’t!  I’d try to help but I have a hard time finding people too – within my age group or not.  Maybe you’ll meet some friends who read this?  Perhaps put your Twitter handle in the comments below and others can friend you.

To be real fucking honest, I don’t fucking know how I’m feeling, I’ve been struggling with depression for more than 2 years and some days I feel nothing at all and others I feel it all at once. The only thing keeping me from losing my shit is taking hella drugs that numb everyrhinf and then reminiscing about when times were good. But when I think about my past i get even more sad bc like,, I realize how powerless I am and that things will never be the same in my life. Im still in high school and i have so much pressure to choose what I want to do with the rest of my life but thanks to my family shutting down anyrhinf that doesn’t relate to being a doctor even tho I have no interest in the medical field I’ve given up on deciding. I know what ur gonna say “just do wtf will make u happy” but that’s the thing, I HAVE NO IDEA what makes me happy. When I do think about it i just start thinking that maybe I should just end it all here and not continue. A happy life isn’t one worth living, and I have so many factors to my unhappiness and I don’t know how to talk to my psych about it bc I don’t know where to begin and even then she says the same fucking cliches “do what makes you happy” “be confident” like I’ve spent my entire life being shot down by my family and it’s so fucking hard to just deal with it. My family doesn’t understand the first thing about depression and frankly they don’t fucking wanf to, I was even hospitalised bc of my condition and I had to call the cops ON MY OWN bc if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be here typing this bullshit incoherent essay. Maybe I sound ungrateful, but at the same time I haven’t put in all the details.
That’s how I am.
If you’re reading this, thank you for even giving me a second.

Yeah it’s a bit hard to maintain happiness and confidence when you’ve got people close to you who are fucking with you.  What might help is trying to find an online community that can help you through it until you have the freedom and ability to make some more powerful moves.  Choose wisely, don’t sign up to incels, Kekistanis or any of that crap.  Also, if you have like literally no clue what the fuck you might enjoy, pick martial arts – seriously, try it.  Scout around and find one that doesn’t have a shitty attitude, there are sport-oriented ones and also more self-defence oriented ones.  All martial arts dojos will let you sit in on the and watch them train and decide if you wanna be involved.  Even getting to the most absolute basic-ass level with that shit helped me a lot when I was younger just in terms of my mental state, and trust me I never was “good” at it.

Wow, oppar cares? *blush blush*

Trufax!  Kpopalypse cares about all caonimas!

Pretty good, kind of lonely these days because I’m forever lonely no gf, in a bit of a slump but otherwise I’m alright. Got some good mates, work is doing okay so all and all can’t complain really. Especially since we’re finally getting a girl group concert in Australia for once so that rules.

Yeah it’s about time!

Well I was okay when I woke up this morning because last night I went on a wonderful date and I thought my love life was finally looking up. I’ve been single since I was 19 and I’m 24 now so I was very excited. I woke up in that giddy mood that only happens after you have a bunch of very great dates with a great person.

That being said, I was up early because I had a dental appointment at 9:00 AM. Why I did that to myself on a Saturday I don’t know, but I was neutral about it. Dentists now are mostly a scam, and they try to do a bunch of faux medical tests (like using a blood pressure monitor that is only used in hospitals when someone is too fat for the regular one) in order to justify the horrendous costs of dental work. At least, that’s how it is where I am. I don’t know what the dental system is like in Australia, but I imagine it’s quite similar.

So, I’m on my way to the dentist during a time I want to be sleeping. On my way, my phone buzzes; it’s the boy I went out with last night. The only part of the text that’s visible on my home screen says “I’m glad you had a great night yesterday!”, so I open up the text to read what it says. Right after that great start, it continues with a long explanation about how he thinks we have great conversation and have a lot in common and how we would be better off as friends. Then he has the audacity to ask me what I thought about the situation. As if there’s really anywhere to go after that.

So I make it to the dentist’s in an awful mood. While I’m neutral about the dentist (despite them increasingly becoming a scam), receiving that text before 9 in the morning is enough to ruin anyone’s mood. So I go and sit in the chair, and the dental hygienist starts asking me about medical history that’s not relevant to my oral health. For any Kpopalypse reader (and for you, Kpopalypse)still somehow reading this, if a dental hygienist asks you for this information you can tell them to fuck off.

So, this woman is looking in my mouth and said, almost immediately, “you’re a mouth breather”. While this is a true fact, since I’ve had sinus issues my whole life that were given to me genetically by my father, the snarky way she said this did not help my mood. She then proceeded to scrape at my gums with that sharp point that they use and asked me if my gums bled this much at home. I responded “no”, with the fact that I also don’t willfully cut up my gums with a sharp point left unsaid. She then proceeded to lecture me about gum health and how “mouth breathers” should be going to the dentist every 3 months. She also said there was a “concerning spot” on one of my top molars. I asked if it was likely a coffee stain. She said she couldn’t diagnose me, but she was concerned.

So there I am, with a snarky dental hygienist, having received essentially a break up text, and I might have a cavity. By the time the actual dentist comes in to examine my mouth, I’m in an absolutely foul mood. So the dentist comes and the hygienist tells him to look at this molar because she’s concerned. He looks at it and laughs. Guess the fuck what? It’s a coffee stain. So that’s good news. Except then the dentist looks down at me and says he calls coffee stains “happy fun time stains”, which rubbed me the wrong way at that point. He also told me that I should be rubbing vaseline on my gums before I go to bed since I’m a “mouth breather”. Absolute garbage.

By the time all that I have written here occurred, it wasn’t even 10 in the morning yet. So just know, Kpopalypse, that I will be living vicariously through you and your girlfriend’s seemingly stable relationship for the time being. I usually don’t get past the first date for any number of reasons, so I’m bitter. I also hope that you have better look getting dental care then I did this morning.

I hope the next few days after you read this go decently well, and I hope as you’re compiling this survey you’re in a good mood. I’m only giving you the grace of a few days because I can’t rule out the possibility that you’ll say something cunty on twitter that I don’t agree with.

I’m good!  I’ve been going strong with my partner for 9 years now so you should have lots of opportunity to live vicariously through me, hopefully this sustains you until things are more stable for you in the relationship department.  I really need to go to the dentist though.

I feel like shit. My sleeping schedule sucks. I have stretch marks all over my body. And my face is covered in pimples.

When I saw my first video of JAV star Amayoshi Shizuku (who I think is great and she wasn’t featured in the April 1 redesign only because I couldn’t find any photos of her with clothes on) I was really happy to discover that she had stretch marks.  Not only is she hot and one of my faves and she definitely rocked stretch marks plus bad skin in general, but I felt like it was a win for the regular people without perfect skin – we could all be JAV stars, or anything else we might want to be.

I was also watching a horror movie with ex-JAV star Maria Ozawa in it (who did make the sidebar and is widely considered one of the hottest ex-JAV stars to walk the earth), my girlfriend was watching with me, the first thing she notices is how shit Maria Ozawa’s skin is.  The film director applies some really intense face makeup to hide the fact that she has totally acne-scarred cheeks like James Hetfield.  The lesson here is that don’t worry if you feel like shit about little things like that because everybody does.

I’m having a rough time trying to explain the current scandal to my little sister. I introduced her to kpop and girl groups a few years ago, and she branched out on her own into liking newer boy groups and older male celebrities (through dramas). I’m more concerned with kpop music than the personal lives of the people making it. I try to communicate this to my sister, but she and her teenage friends get really obsessed with idols as the pseudo-boyfriends they’re marketed to be. I don’t know how to warn her away from putting all her trust in some random Korean man in a way she will actually hear and heed. It’s not dire – if her bias became involved in a scandal, she would be okay eventually, but I’m worried about her being sad because of a genre to which I introduced her.

She’ll learn eventually.  In the meantime educating on this stuff is what big siblings are for.  Sounds like she’ll be okay with you around!

Thanks for asking every time. This is only my second survey and I’m doing much better than the first! In that survey (I think it was around September? October?), I was the one to say I discovered your blog while I was in Korea when I studied abroad so it was nice timing considering I witnessed some ridiculousness in the form of being mushed and pushed side to side by rabid fan girls on a music show (it was a first for me so the trauma is still nestled deep within my mind).

But in my last answer, I was basically a ball of negativity and self-hatred. Then you actually chose my answer to this question and I was like “Oh God, I’m such a whiny idiot” but I was happy because I certainly wasn’t expecting it but it did make my day a bit better than so thank you. But I must say if I had known I would have held back, haha. I guess I just needed to vent even if it was to a stranger so thanks again for listening to my nonsense.

Also wanted to add that I’ve recently started watching your Twitch streams since the turn of the new year and they’re quite entertaining though I’m just a lurker. I look forward to them every Saturday night (I’m based in the US). They’ve particularly helped my mood especially last month when I hit a major rut again in terms of anxiety and apathy towards my studies (self-hatred strikes again) and honestly, your stream that Saturday was one of the few things that week that improved my mood. So even though not many people watch them, I highly appreciate you doing them but obviously if you discontinue them any time in the future, I’ll respect that decision.

Anyway, I hope you’re doing well as well. Have a good day or night.

Glad you like the streams!  Kpopalypse does not do things for popularity, so the fact that few people watch the weekly livestream is fine.  I prefer participation to lurking simply because it’s easier to conduct a stream if people are actually conversing, but I’m appreciative of all watchers even if they are lurking in the background because I tend to do that too when I watch streams.

I want to fucking kill myself, I’ve been (illegally) downloading a game for the past 10 hours but my internet keeps crashing and I’m mad and I just don’t feel so well. I guess that’s what I get for being cheap and refusing to buy games. To my defense, I’m broke after wasting all my money on going to Australia so I didn’t really have a choice. Actually that was a lie, I haven’t been to Australia yet but I’m saving money so that I can go to Australia in a year so I need to cut down on the money I spend on games so that I actually have money or something like that. Actually that was another lie, my parents love me so they’ll fund my trip to Australia. I have no reason to not pay for video games. Other than that, I guess I’m feeling pretty shit.

You naughty pirate, tsk tsk.  Anyway if you have bad Internet you definitely shouldn’t come to Australia, it’s even worse here thanks to the dumb-as-shit Liberal party fucking it up for everyone.  Crap broadband is actually part of their political platform, can you believe that people voted for that?  There’s an election soon here in Australia and I hope that the Labor party gets in before the national broadband network rolls out to my place so I’ve got a hope in hell of getting decent Internet and not the tin-can-and-a-string shit that is five times as expensive as fiber that current moron leader Scott Morrison thinks we all want.

I’m okay! I had three tests last week (one of them neuroanatomy) so I was stressed out from studying but thanks Chuu I passed them! I hope the Kpop content will be better soon, 2018 seemed like a great year for music but 2019 has been meh so far.

People who stan Loona pass exams.

Better, since you released this survey! I love you oppaaaar

(all my friends think I have a Korean fetish, which is so dumb, Victoria from f(x) is Chinese)

I love you too!

I am very mad. I rode all the way to the village to do my farming, get stuck in the mine and got fucked by this retarded ass skeleton. Had BS aim and wouldn’t stop shooting I really cannot think straight right now. I tried to run away with more than Speed II. Nope. I thought I would have made it out of the mine if I knew how to fucking dodge. But they didn’t even give me the chance to do it. Bullshit, just straight up bullshit. Probably will never go to that mine with the mobs ever again. This definitely ruined my day.

Wow, your life is crazy.  I bet your computer games are even more strange.  Also since you’re a farmer, do you live anywhere near me?  Can I get some discount fruit and veg?

i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible.

Maybe that’s true Shane, but put that dick anywhere near my cat and she’ll scratch the shit out of you.

Kinda lost. I’ve been seeing this guy for like 4 months now (I’m also a guy) and we’ve been on several dates. We’re both in our mid-late 20s but we’re still kinda new to exploring our sexuality (or at least that’s what he tells me). I feel like we’ve both got a bit in common, our conversations rarely run dry, I think he’s hot… but I guess I don’t have the courage to make the next move. Hell I’m not even sure what he thinks of me.

I mean I wouldn’t mind if we stayed friends, but I feel like I’m still in this “grey area” and I really don’t know how to get out of this, whether as friends or something else.

As you can probably tell, I have literally no past dating experience, which really doesn’t help with my situation!

Some of my friends think there’s not a lot of hope seeing as both of us haven’t made a further move yet. I want to, I really do. I guess I’m just scared that I wouldn’t be able to handle a potential rejection. Like does that mean I shouldn’t speak to him again? Will it be awkward if we stayed friends?

I know one thing for certain – I’m always happy to see him again. I just want to jump over the next hurdle!

Just get it over with and pull down his pants.  Or if that’s a bit forward, you could try kissing him – hell, even just saying to him “so are you gonna kiss me or what” will probably work, unless he’s really dopey or just doesn’t like you.  But you won’t find out by doing nothing.

Hi, I’m fine thanks. I’m feeling a little up and down because I’m getting over my first ever breakup, which happened two weeks ago. I think I’m coping with it relatively alright as it ended on good terms and we said we might be friends in the long term, although we’re not talking while we both get over it. I was the one who was dumped, and while our relationship was straining, I did want to keep it going.

I try to cope with it by keeping myself busy, as well as looking at the positives and thinking things through rationally and telling myself why it wouldn’t have worked out long term. How do you deal with breakups, oppar?

That’s actually a pretty good strategy.  Keeping your mind occupied is the biggest help.

I’m okay, I’m alright… thanks for asking! lost a lot of weight recently and I’m happy about it 🙂

Kpopalypse followers stay skinny!  (Except the ones who don’t, but they still MRS)

Hello! I’m doing decently well, stressed. How are you? I figure the recent scandals have kept you busy! Love your blog by the way, have been following it for years but never got around to take part in the survey before.

Unrelated, but couple Qrimoles ago you mentioned Ratos de Porão. That kind of made my day! They’re awesome, and downright legends in the underground rock scene here. Glad to see some folks abroad appreciate their talent too.

Hope you’re having a nice day!

Ratos de Porão are definitely not well known around these parts, but some old-school metalheads here like me know them because Sepultura used to name-drop them a ton when they got big in the early 1990s and started doing a lot of interviews for western metal magazines.  Recommended!

It’s election day here in NSW and I’m struggling to care much even though I probably should (my work is fairly dependent on government funding). All I’ve really wanted from this election is for the Libs to demolish the football stadium and then for Labor to get elected & follow through with the promise not to rebuild it because that would be hilarious.

Otherwise I’ve been feeling pretty depressed this week which sucks because I’d been doing really well recently. I haven’t yet identified anything that needs to change for me to feel better, so for the time being I’m just riding along trying to cope with the weird sadness & lethargy best I can. Brains are fucked up.

Sorry for your election loss, having the libs in for yet another term must suck ass (or if it doesn’t for you yet, it will soon).  Oh well at least that fuckwit Mike Baird resigned, he was a complete cock-smuggler who is pretty much single-handedly responsible for turning Sydney CBD into Pyongyang.  Read more here.

Hi! I’m finishing uni and having a lot of thoughts about life. At times everything seems bleak but sometimes it seems like things are going to be sort of okay so it balances out. I’m constantly questioning everything I do and how much of myself is genuine and how much is based on how I want to appear. How do you stay true to yourself and avoid looking at yourself from the outside?

I don’t worry about how I appear, have never really worried about it much.  There’s no law that says I have to, so I don’t.  One of the things that always bothers me about Korean culture (and Asian cultures in general) is how focused people are on how they’re perceived by others.  You can see this reflected really strongly in all their media, etc.  I think I would be miserable if I ever went there for any extended length of time.

Hi! I’m ok, I recently moved to Canberra for uni and I thought I would be less into kpop as I got busier but I’m still really into it. Also I’ve actually been meeting other fans and going to club nights and stuff so that’s good. Which blackpink concert are you going to, Sydney or Melbourne? I’m excited to hear their 9 songs in the way they’re meant to be heard- while surrounded by screaming fangirls

Melbourne – it’s a shorter and cheaper trip from Adelaide.

Little wasted so maybe I’ll answer in a really dumb way but fuck you if you don’t like it but I mean you’re Kpopalypse of course you dgaf


I’m ok, thanks.
But, at the same time, if you don’t mind too much (sorry, I know you don’t have a choice in the matter) I’d like to whine about my first world problems.

I still don’t know what to do with my life, I’m refusing to choose anything at all (I hate to choose in general, that’s a problem), wasting that life in the meanwhile and not getting any younger in the process.
I want someone to manage my life, I’m so good with other people’s lives, I get super active and dedicated when I have to help a friend, why is that when it’s my ass on the line that I’m stuck?
I don’t know what kind of job I want and I don’t even check on job openings (sometimes my friends send me links, they are concerned too, poor souls) because I just think that I’m too old and there are more qualified and better people than I am (I know, it’s a conundrum, the more I wait the older I get). I studied languages, a degree that allows you to do everything (positive) and nothing (negative) with it. I know 5 languages apart from my native one but I’m not doing anything with them and I’m slowly forgetting every single one (I’m just the worst). That’s another reason I’m scared to take on a job that requires one of those languages (again, my only qualification), I’ll probably be embarrassingly bad, I’m practically a fraud now!
My parents are reasonably concerned (and fed up) with me, my father wants me to be a school teacher but I really (really) don’t want to. My mother was a teacher, a great one. She was passionate, dedicated, and through her, I saw how important are these qualities if you want to become one, for yourself and for the children that you are shaping into adults. Well, I don’t possess neither of those qualities. Also, kids are the worst, and nowadays they get more and more ill-mannered and impossible to manage while the teachers have almost no power at all.
I love art, travelling, photography, fashion, cinema, books, and tv series but my knowledge or qualifications do not warrant a real job in those fields (because I did nothing to improve them and it’s definitely too late to start now). Yeah I know maybe I can find something with those freaking languages in these fields, but I don’t know what to find, and who knows, maybe the reason I don’t want to choose is that my brain stupidly thinks that if I choose a path I can’t change it anymore?
But this is just one big example of how I generally don’t manage my life, I’m like a spring-loaded doll, doing something only when other people make me. Another example: I’m just now taking my driving license. I’ve always said that I didn’t want to become one of those women that have to be driven around by others and that’s what I have been for years! My parents or my friends have to take me to the veterinarian when I have to take my kitties for their check-up. How pathetic and shameful is that?
So, I don’t know, my question is how can I be a decent, functioning adult? I just don’t want to be one? Am I just a lazy shit?

That’s it! Sorry. How are you?
Stiglitz was so cute inside the closet in the latest video! And she was adorable in the sink! Moar, please.

You know languages?  I’m so jealous.  If I knew five languages I would keep my hand in all of them.  That shit makes you very employable and useful in tons of ways.  Drivers license soon too – you’re on the way up!  Also you correctly realise that kids are little oxygen-wasting turds so you’re also very intelligent.  You’re probably the most employable person to have done this survey!

The only way to get good at adulting is by doing.  Don’t worry there’s tons of videos on YouTube about it, and not all of them have Jordan Peterson in them, thankfully.

‘Sup. I’m ok. It’s tranpoline girl – I didn’t end up getting my elite status, because my whole chronic illness thing got in the way. Thankfully, after more than two full years they finally know what’s wrong with me. A bit frustrating that it took me two years to even get referred to a sleep specialist for a primarily sleep-related a problem. I think the doctors thought, “oh, she’s a teenage girl. She has depression, which causes fatigue. Many teenage girls and don’t get enough sleep, so it must be the depression or a fairly normal cause. Her blood tests come back average, so there’s nothing really wrong.” I mean, that’s what they said to me, anyways. I don’t think any doctor really listened to me until I finally got referred to a neurologist who finally was like “oh shit dude we gotta sign you up for a sleep study stat.” Turns out I have some wack sleep issue and that my brain wakes up like 9 times per hour, so I haven’t gotten a restful night’s sleep a single time in two years. Lol, at least it’s treatable, but I feel resentful that I had to give up two years of my life as well as my gymnastics career before a professional took me seriously. On the bright side, I’m going to graduate high school in about a month, and I’m finally going to go to college. I worked myself half to death in high school (enough to fuck my brain for two years, anyways!) but I ended up getting into one of the best mathematics programs in the US, which is very, very exciting for me. It’s finally time to move on to a new chapter in life. I am a little worried about being a three hour plane ride from home! I’m moving across the country for school at the end of the summer, and I would be lying if I were to say I’m not apprehensive. Either way, I’m grateful for rough times to hopefully be finally wrapping up.

Your life is looking good!  Caonimas succeed and achieve!  However keep in mind that bad things will happen again from time to time.  Use the good times to gain skills to help you through the tough stuff.

I’ve caught sleepy bitch disease zzz

I know the feels

Sometimes, I feel unaccomplished in life. Maybe because I look at other people on the internet that are successful, like instagram celebrities and youtubers. I’m only a college student and I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others so much, but there’s just a lot I feel I lack. I lack a social life for one, but I don’t how to talk to people without coming across as desperate. I am good at joining in conversations or making stuff up on the spot if I know I can get away with it, but if someone seems cool, I never know how exactly to go up to them and say something. I guess because I had so many instances where I would talk to someone and they would act nice to my face then go behind my back and talk about how weird I am.
I have been working actively on my youtube channel in terms of content, and I always wanted an audience that I could talk to (I don’t need a million subs or anything, just active viewers), and I know I need to network my way into garnering that audience, but again, I just never know where to begin.
But I mean, life is good apart from that

Online celebrity is nothing to be jealous of, it just means more scrutiny and tons of people hating you without even knowing you.  Better to focus on flesh-and-blood friendships.  When the shit really goes down in your life, it’s not your YouTube followers who are going to have your back.  Don’t worry about coming across as despoerate, or anything else for that matter.  It’s not so important, the stakes aren’t high, just tell yourself that because it’s true.

Hello. I am somewhat getting through life. I actually wanted you to drop a survey because of how I saw other people answer this question last time. I’m fairly new to your site/twitter nonetheless I look forward to your weekly reviews when one of my bias groups/soloists release something. I feel like sometimes you can be a bit mean with the reviews but I don’t take it seriously. Also, you don’t review songs from the produce 101 series do you? The ones that aren’t cover songs I mean. I’d like to know your opinion on Rumor – Produce48/Iz*one if possible. Wait do you even watch that/kpop survival shows? I’m both fascinated and entertained by it than anything. Korean general public do not hesitate to remove and drag talented candidates in a show for more visuals. Interesting as always. Anyways, I hope you enjoy seeing Blackpink live!
OH WAIT I just thought of something to ask you. Sorry if someone asked this already in your life (probably): if you mayhaps met a kpop idol you are familiar with would you ever reveal that you write kpop reviews? well now that i’ve written this is i’m thinking about the likelihood of how most kpop idols wouldn’t know english let alone know about an infamous website hmmmm…..Anyways I look forward to your next round up of the week! KPOPALYPSE OPPAR FHWAITING!!!!!

Thanks for your response!  I really don’t give any fucks about k-pop survival shows, it’s all just marketing bullshit designed to hook you in so by the time the final group actually does something you’re already emotionally attached and invested.  Once the show is over, a group is formed, and then original songs start coming out, at that point I give a fuck – not before.

If I met a k-pop idol I wouldn’t tell them about reviews, because reviews don’t make me special or anything – anybody can review something, and my opinion isn’t important.

conflicted. my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend harassed me about staying friends with him and called me a whore for it. apparently i’m not allowed to talk to him anymore even though i never intended on getting back with him anyways. 🙂

She seems like a bitch, you should talk to him more just to piss her off.

As a 48-year old, generally non-creepy but sometimes probably pretty creepy, casually “elder goth”-adjacent female, I have come to accept that I am, undeniably, an ajumma K-pop fan, and I now credit this as one of several hundred reasons why I am so, so very tired. I was too old for this shit when I was a kid, and now I’m basically roused from my grave daily by some new ridiculous manifestation of drama. Can’t one just enjoy impressive choreography and vague connections to nostalgia for the 80s music of one’s youth as presented by reasonably pleasant and charismatic young people in over-tight pants/impractical heels in peace without being drowned in the angst of millions of teenage and “New Adult” fans freaking out on the daily?

I need a nap.

I can definitely relate to a lot of this predicament.  You kids and your fan-spazzing tire us out, man.  Respect your elder goth-adjacents.

Absolutley fucking awful, as a korean, not only do i get absolutley assraped by school and society, but also overwatch league and e sports in general.

What, you’re a Korean and you’re not good at e-sports?  You’re letting your race down, shame on you!  Just kidding.  Fuck e-sports, if you’re over 15 you’re too old for that crap.  Get some sun, kids.

I’m good! Anxious cuz my boyfriend and I are trying to move to the same place, but there’s immigration involved no matter what, and him finding a job is turning out to be more difficult than expected so…..yeah. It’s easier for me to, so I have nothing to do until he finds a job, which is frustrating. However I’ve taken up meditating a couple times a day for the past two weeks or so, and it’s made a BIG DIFFERENCE with my anxiety! A freakishly big difference. Otherwise, I’m killing it as a teacher, really feeling like I’m getting the swing of it, enjoy my one-on-one students, and made a new friend! That’s really thrilling. ALSOOOOO, I’m gonna go see some amazing secret cherry blossoms tomorrow, and then make pizza with the aforementioned new friend and her husband, so I’m pretty damn excited.

Meditate, caonimas – it helps.  Preferably while stanning Loona.

Question 2: What is your gender?

It is now confirmed that Kpopalypse blog has more female readers than male readers!  I always wondered about this fact.  I had asked questions like this before and had gotten similar results, but in the past I have also always included third or fourth options to be “inclusive”, and since a high number of people picked the extra options just to troll, I never really knew whether it was really true that more women read the blog, or whether I just had a higher percentage of male trolls who picked the weird options, and their resulting lack of votes for the “male” category were inflating the score for the relative total number of women.  This is the real reason why there were only two choices allowed for the answer to this question, it wasn’t me trying to be a problematic asshole (for once).

Question 3: What Kpopalypse content do you regularly access? Tick all that apply.

I didn’t include percentages here, but almost everybody read the blog.  It was surprising to see that the Twitch stream was slightly more popular than the very long-running radio show for most readers, but then it makes sense as who needs the radio when you have YouTube.  It’s definitely a sign of the blog’s international appeal, as the radio show is more relevant to Adelaide readers, which is a very small minority.  On the other hand many people enjoyed Kpopalypse trolling other websites!  If you were one of the ones who clicked “none of the above”, congratulations on finding this survey, and you’ll have to tell me how you did that one day.

Question 4: Name your preference between these types of Kpopalypse content

I had released several different types of interactive contact recently, and I wanted to see how these stacked up against the regular fanfictions that long-time readers will know.  Pretty well as it happens, although less people were interested in the RPG game than anything else.  This makes me think that perhaps I won’t do another one and that the next interactive Kpopalypse project that isn’t just a “choose your own path” fiction may be something completely different.

Question 5: Are you finding the Kpopalypse subreddit useful?

Most people had no fucking idea that there even was a Kpopalypse subreddit, even though it’s been on the sidebar of the blog for a few months now.  One of the main reasons why I started the Reddit was because people would complain occasionally about the commenting system on this blog, so it’s a way for people to leave comments on articles in a format that they might find more user-friendly or “traditional” (i.e with upvoting/downvoting etc).

Question 6: This is the music video for Yeojin’s “Kiss Later”.

“Kiss Later” is a song about an underage girl not consenting to creepy pestering dudes. What could Seungri and his friends learn from this song and video?

Remember caonimas – stan Loona to stay out of jail.

Question 7: If you have a good idea for a new flair that I can add to the Kpopalypse subreddit, please share it below. The best suggestions will be added to the subreddit for users to select and tag themselves with. This question is optional.

Thank you for your input!  Many new flairs have now been added to the Kpopalypse subreddit at the suggestion of caonimas!  For those who didn’t know what a flair is (which, encouragingly, was quite a lot of you), it’s the little tag that appears next to your name when you post something on Reddit.  Most k-pop style reddits have user-customisable flairs where people write in their bias etc, whereas my subreddit instead has “conceptual continuity declarations” that you can choose from.

Question 8: How culpable is Yang Hyun Suk (founder of YG Entertainment) in the Burning Sun scandal?

“Nobody’s innocent, citizen – we’re just here to determine the level of your guilt” – Judge Dredd

Question 9: There’s been a lot of Loona content on Kpopalypse blog lately. What is the most likely explanation behind this?

Actually all of these are probably true on some level, but Kpopalypse readers felt that T-ara’s inactivity and the need for an annoying substitute was the “most correct answer”.

Question 10: Here’s an article in a newspaper about some Hollywood actors with relationship issues.

How did Twice become so relevant and influential to Hollywood stars?

Clearly it was the positive influence of Twice’s “Yes Or Yes” that demonstrated to all a broad understanding of the issues that face today’s modern couples, and this drove Brad and Angelina to meet them and discuss their relationship issues.

Question 11: Kpopalypse didn’t write his highly anticipated “big boobs in k-pop part 6” last year. Why not?

It’s official – Seungri is now k-pop’s biggest tit, and therefore a need for a separate compilation of k-pop tits has been made somewhat redundant.  However I might return to boobs posts at the end of this year if I really run out of ideas, or if I feel an urgent need to drive more traffic to the site, we’ll see.

Question 12: Are you satisfied with the levels of Asian Junkie trolling on Kpopalypse content?

Readers had very little disagreement here – the vast majority of them either wanted more trolling of Asian Junkie (k-pop’s most trufaxual true journalism site of truth) or they felt that trolling levels were currently adequate.  Very few people wanted to see less trolling.  That’s good, because I wasn’t planning to let up the trolling levels anytime soon.

Question 13: Why do kpop fans seem to be perpetually mad about the BBC? What does a British TV network have to do with kpop in the first place?

This was a question that was asked of me by one of my followers on Curious Cat, and I didn’t know the answer, so I thought I’d pass the question on.  As it turns out, you guys didn’t seem to know the answer either, with responses to this question being fairly evenly spread.

Question 14: This is an image of automated follower recommendations, thoughtfully provided by a caonima who follows Kpopalypse on Twitter.

Besides Kpopalypse, which social networking account listed above looks like it would be the most rewarding to follow?

I’m not sure what any of these Twitter accounts have to do with Kpopalypse or why they turned up in this person’s recommendations, but it seems that Kpopalypse readers felt like they would enjoy Lost Islamic History the most, so why not get on down to @LostIslamicHist and read all about Islam’s past today?

Question 15: Do you like multiple choice questions with only one answer?

Well, at least you guys were honest.  I hope that this question met required standards.

Question 16: What’s the most convincing proof to date of Kpopalypse’s super Boram ESP powers?

It is trufax that Kpopalypse predicted all of these things, however readers felt that Kpopalypse sniffing out Seungri’s power-tripping classy-sexy tendencies was the real clincher in determining the presence of super Boram ESP powers.

Question 17: Kpopalypse has recently switched from to Curious Cat, despite being one of the top 10 most popular users of in Australia and having tons of crypto. Did this move enhance your life?

The choice of Kpopalypse readers was clear, so here’s your reward!

Question 18: How many more times will Asian Junkie use that picture of Seungri on a plain yellowish background between now and the end of 2019?

Readers were asked to pick using a slider that went from 1 to 99, and the above was the result.  I’m not a mathematician so I have no fucking idea what any of that shit above really means, but it did seem to me that most survey participants thought Asian Junkie would be using the yellow-background picture of Seungri an awful lot.

Question 19: Which is the most profound video of Kpopalypse’s cat?

Kpopalypse’s cat flexes her celebrity cat status often, but never more so than in her “sexy concept” video.

Unlike Stellar’s management, I didn’t force my cat to do this, and she is very aware that the camera is on.

Question 20: This is the music video for CLC’s “No”.

Why are CLC so negative?

Is CLC’s “No” really a response to Twice’s “Yes Or Yes”?  My readers seem to think so, and that’s good enough for me!

Question 21: What aspect of music theory are you the most keen to see Kpopalypse cover in the music theory series?

Actually most of you really didn’t give a fuck but just wanted me to write about your bias and attach it to some music theory bullshit somehow.  I’ll see what I can do.

Question 22: This is a conversation about an article by Asian Junkie about Jung Joon Young.

When is it okay to joke about k-pop rapists being raped?

I felt like I needed a little extra help being woke, but it turns out that readers felt that I just raped everybody with this line of questioning, gosh that sure backfired.  Next time I ask a question about rape in a survey, I’ll try to include a checkbox indicating consent or something.  In the meantime, I think Asian Junkie deleted the entire comment thread apart from my OP so maybe he felt raped too.

Question 23: If you’d like Kpopalypse to interview anybody in k-pop in particular put their email address below, and I will try to make it happen and probably fail. This activity is optional.

Thanks for all your suggestions!  As mentioned in the question, don’t get your hopes up about any actual interviews happening, but I agree with almost all of your picks and would love to interview some more people with the balls to tell it how it really is in the world of k-pop.

Question 24: This is the music video for Dreamcatcher’s “Piri”.

Why is Dami styled to look like Hillary Clinton?

People suspected that attempts to thwart Russian dominance of the k-poponlineosphere might be behind Dami’s new stylish haircut.  Expect to see a boy group strike back soon with MAGA-friendly styling.

Question 25: Kpopalypse is very interested in politics, so nominate your political beliefs here.

The political spectrum of Kpopalypse readers is revealed!  Note that the designations “left” and “right” don’t really mean anything coherent in these answers, but then they don’t really mean anything all that coherent in actual politics either, so I figured nobody would mind.

Question 26: This is a video called “Tiffany Young Teaches You Korean Slang”.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: screencap any frame from the above video of Tiffany, make a meme out of it, and upload it here. Maximum file size 300kb, maximum image size 640×640 pixels. The best memes will be featured in a future post! This activity is optional.

Many submissions were received!  I was totally impressed with the creativity on offer from survey participants!  Here’s a selection of Tiffany memes that met required standards!



Question 27: The last time I put in a “rank” question like this I got lots of negative feedback because people didn’t realise that while the click-and-drag boxes didn’t work on mobile devices, they could still use numbers to do the rankings. You can practice allocating rankings with this question here, so that way when the next survey appears in six months you’ll be an expert and will be able to cope with these kinds of questions no problem. This question is optional, if you skip it, the rankings will remain in the randomised order that you see them in now.

I thought some practice at ranking things might help you readers who struggle with these questions for some reason.  The practice was definitely needed, a lot of you struggled anyway, however most of you were able to put the twelve Loona members into some sort of order.  Poor Yeojin, she’s always coming last in polls like these.

Question 28: Recommend a cool website for the no reason sidebar girl. This activity is optional.

Thanks for all your recommendations!  Someone of them may be coming in the sidebar soon!  Keep in mind however that a lot of the picks you guys made have actually already been featured.

Question 29: If you were upset about only being given the choice of two genders at the start of this survey, please use the space below to express your frustration and disappointment with Kpopalypse. This question is optional.

A few people said that there are only two sexes but there are many more genders… but then other people saw through the loophole here and said that if I had made the question about sexes instead it would have made no difference as some people would still whine about not being able to choose “intersex”.  In any event, the question served its purpose (finally) and hopefully all you non-binary types weren’t too frustrated.

Question 30: Thanks for doing this survey! If you have any feedback please put it in the space below. This question is optional.

There was lots of feedback!  Let’s take a look at some!

Kpopalypse is getting slower on phone browsers which is bad since I use phone the most. Please suggest me the best phone browser to get into the blog just fine.
Also I hate the fact that I can’t write 1000 on AJ one.

I haven’t noticed any change.  This might just be your phone.

How dare you ignore my postcard? When I finally decide to send it you stop making Cao Ni Ma appreciation posts?

I’m sorry, I get very little stuff in the mail these days, I’ve had to put the caonima appreciation posts to bed.  I’m trying to think of some good content to replace it with, because people don’t send me stuff anymore.  My sincere apologies.

Fun Survey. Also, off topic your girlfriend seems very cool.

She is!

As always oppa, I love your blog, keep on doing your thing! It’s super entertaining and at times I even learn nerdy stuff, which I love because I’m crazy like that. Hopefully you, your girlfriend and your cat are all happy and well!! Looking forward to more trufax, more technical posts with my bias shoehorned into them and the all important annual kpopalypse objectification survey!

Thank you!

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ddddddggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggggg reveal where eung eung stands in the 2019 positions instead of being vague u coward fdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd dddddddddddddd ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd dddddddddddddddddddddddddd ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ddddddddddddddddfds sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssdfffffffffffffffdf ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

I don’t even start thinking about the order until December.  However I do like the song and the chances of it being included is at least 5*(25/7e)-Boram.

Glad to see you’re making use of your music degree by making wordpress posts about what a quarter note is. I would think these music theory could be improved by just linking to Jason Allen’s Udemy music course instead, so your readers don’t have to feel Michael Jackson-y with all the images and videos of underaged, makeupped Asian children spread throughout your site. Not that you would catch your own dog-whistles, of course, since you’re attracted to my mom or something.

How quick were you to change your DNS since Australia decided to block 4chan? Why did tumblr decide to ban porn? Questions, questions.

Moving on, I’m glad that you made your own subreddit! There tends to be a little less alt-right folk on reddit in general, but they do tend to huddle in specific communities on the site. With a blog like yours that trivializes the plights of under-represented communities, your subreddit can be an oasis for the white plight!

It’s always a treat when news of assault within the K-pop community appears, because I know Kpopalypse will make 5 – 10 “humorous” posts about it. Of course, these posts are as dry and stale as Seungri’s used cum rags, but you do make an effort. Nice try!

It might be time to change the name of your Q.R.I.M.O.L.E. posts, since, well….T-ara is.. nevermind.

Of course, you let “Oh My Mistake” blind you from the true K-popified New Order Substance album track remake that you’ve been looking for in April’s “Yes Sir.”

You seem to spend a lot of time on Twitter going back and forth with K-pop stan accounts, not even American pop stan accounts. I hope this is a fulfilling life for you.

Freddie Mercury’s teeth were truly disgusting. The gays are truly a horny group of people if their dicks could get hard while looking at that grill. At least they toned his mouth down in the Bohemian Rhapsody movie. They also toned down how much of a slut he was. Unlike those messy BBC Queen documentaries. Lord do they love to slander the dead.

In all, you are

String array = {“r”, “b”, “cr”, “l”, “d”, “m”};
for (String s : array) {
System.out.println(s + “usty”);

Hope that helps the next time you decide to try and code something.

Obvious troll is obvious, but a few things:

  • The first post in the music theory series explains exactly why I don’t just link to someone else’s course material and call it a day.
  • I don’t use 4chan, have never posted on it and the only times I’ve ever visited was when I was alerted to someone posting a link to one of my articles there – so I won’t miss it.  4chan users have always suspected that I participate there, but they are wrong – Kpopalypse does not post anonymously anywhere, ever.  If someone on an anonymous forum claims to be me, they are not.
  • I am really rusty, dusty and musty at programming.  No your example doesn’t help I don’t even know what language that is.  Feel free to feel clever and stuff.

I’m interested in what your ranking is for Loona’s pre-debut solo singles, you had us rank their members, so now it’s your turn! Their company only 15 employees and they need all the promo they can get. Do it for Chuu…or ELSE.

New > Love & Live > Loonatic > Heart Attack > Kiss Later > Love4eva > Around You > Egoist > Eclipse > ViVid > most of the others > that slow shit one by Vivi > that Christmas one > the other Christmas one

create a post asking people to add me on discord. Promote me!

My name on it is Addzz#0042

i want friends

Do it, caonimas.

Can you please explain what is the difference between a girlcrush concept and a sexy concept? Some people seem to treat them like it’s the same thing, while others say that not only they are different, but that they have no similarities at all (although they never explain HOW they are different, and that’s frustrating)… Thanks, oppar, and I hope your cat is happy and healthy!

PS: stan Loona

Coming in a future post, once I figure it out.

I would like to thank you for your flawless work ethic and take no prisoners attitude.
You’re like the kpop Lester Bangs but less douchy and more accurate and your voice is really needed in this industry even at your blogger scale as it is important now more than ever.


where is the annual Kpopalypse’s Objectification post?

These drop around the middle of each year.

I would have put the RPG game as my favorite type of content if it hadn’t gone from fucking easy, to an impossible 10 seconds (or something stupid like that) to get out of the dungeon, killing me. You fuck. And no. No I hadn’t saved, because there was no warning that the game was about to go from 1 to nuclear in an instant. Fucking caonima. Props for the creative content though.

Dungeons wouldn’t be very scary and dungeonish if they were easy to beat.  Glad you enjoyed it!

Fuck this Loona fetish… If i wanna read about them, I will just check Allkpop. Twice’s songs still suck. T-ara still is overrated. Julia is still better than Yua. I’m not triggered.

Maybe if you stanned Loona your current triggered state wouldn’t have happened.

Do you believe in gumihos? Are there Aussie gumihos? Will your cat like gumihos?

Is there any chance Jaehyo will ever sing a decent Kpopalypse-approved ballad, and not just rely on us fapping to him while he caters to the Korean public?

And do you think Yves wants to punch Chuu?

No.  No.  No she would kill them.



Keep up the good work! I do miss the boob rankings but am greatly thankful for the weekly round-ups because keeping up with the new kpop is a nightmare. I hope your blog continues to make me laugh about everything kpop. Stan Loona and give some love to my girl, Haseul ?

Thanks!  Haseul is already sidebar girl, it doesn’t get much higher than that in the Kpopalypse love stakes.

1. So, for the past however many years, you’ve had Eunji on your sidebar to blast space rocks. Since I love Eunji, and love that picture of Eunji, I have clicked to blast space rocks probably dozens of times. Here’s the thing though: I fucking suck at that game and inevitably end up ragequitting after about five minutes. But still, next time I see that picture, I’m still clicking. My point in all of this is A) marketing works and B) please don’t ever change that picture to the link to your paetron until I finish paying off my student loans.

2. Also, thanks for putting me onto CLC’s b-sides. I now judge other girl groups’ comebacks by whether their title tracks could make it as a CLC b-side.

3. Finally, thanks again for bothering to cover all releases every week. As a stan of mostly nugus, it’s nice to see them covered someplace, since most big kpop sites focus on the famous ones/their favorites and tend to pay the little guys peanuts. Cheers for that.

Glad you’re enjoying blasting space rocks.  Original Asteroids will never die!

[long-ass but exceptionally helpful feedback with several email addresses of k-pop stars and some feedback about potential interviewees – you know who you are]

I’m not really into asking idols to share gossip about other idols.  Kpopalypse is not a “celeb gossip site”, I’m not into it even as much as someone like Asian Junkie is into it, and certainly not as much as many other “k-pop news” sites are.  When I spoke to Melanie Lee from Chocolat I didn’t ask her about any people who weren’t Melanie Lee except in very generic terms (i.e “do you think other people felt the way you did” etc), nor did I ask her about her relationship with her partner even though during the group’s life that was the biggest public controversy she was ever in.  You can assure any interviewees that the focus will remain on their experience, and if certain people have “no-go” zones I will respect that during the interview process.  I feel that this would be self-evident from looking at my content anyway, but I also understand that idols and ex-idols go through a lot of shit and get continually burned by the media process, so I don’t blame someone in their shoes for being cynical.  Ultimately I don’t want to do it if they don’t want to do it.  Melanie Lee was familiar with my past content and was really keen, that type of person always makes the best interviewee because they understand my true aims and won’t hold back on telling it how they really see it.

I can’t believe I actually made a stupid meme for you. I should have just sent a dic pic.

I wasn’t stopping you.

I wonder if you’ll change again the survey site/software next time

I didn’t change it this time – Polldaddy have just rebranded themselves to Crowdsignal for no reason but it’s still the same site.

pls take care oppa! reading your shit makes me happy, and finding out new music to like on your lists makes me happier for longer! it means a lot to me

Thanks, I’ll proceed carefully!

this is super nit picky, but I wish your games could be played on computers other than shitty PCs. I have to make up an excuse to go to my friend’s house so I can play Escape from the Idol Dungeon, and I never leave my house.

If you’re a riatch biatch who can afford a Mac, you can probably afford the kind of PC that Escape From The Idol Dungeon requires to run with the loose change in your pocket.

Bruh it’s been literal months since I visited your blog but no mather how many times I go back and forth into your blog, I am always welcomed with actual quality content, I am thankful for your efforts ❤️

Thank you!

Wasn’t expecting to get much out of this survey but I at least get to walk away having learnt something, and that is Tomoe Nakamura’s existence, so this survey was quite useful. Thanks

Also buy a bunny and make bunny videos.

If I bought a bunny, my cat would just attack it all day.  It would be the most scared and miserable bunny ever (my cat on the other hand would be thrilled).

i looked up nina nishimura and tomoe nakamura because of this survery so…. thanks

For those still confused about what side of the political spectrum they sit, here’s a couple videos of Tomoe Nakamura and Nina Nishimura respectively.  Don’t worry all you sensitive caonimas, they’re not as explicit as the baiting thumbnails make them appear.

More music theory posts. The number of people who walk around every day without being able to do something as simple as read sheet music saddens me whenever I think about it. That being said, cover the advanced stuff first cause I need to learn that shit before my music theory final.

Sorry if I’m not in time for you, but at least if you fail you can see how badly you fucked up later.

It’s been fun taking this survey! I’ve been following your blog for quite a long time now and I just wanna say I really appreciate how much work you put into it. Your reviews are always a delight to read, and they never fail to make me smile after a shitty day. Sounds corny, and it is corny, but to be fair the state of the world is quite grim, and I’ve learned to cherish these sorts of things. Happy to be a caonima.


Uhhh, so if I can be real for a second, I really enjoy your interviews you conduct occasionally with AustralianSana and the like, but sometimes I’m confused by your other posts. I understand that this is probably because I’m just dumb, but when you post something like the positive post about Seungri, I feel like there’s something more I should be getting other than what’s presented at face value. Like in the post about Seungri there was someone in the comment section talking about how you’re “keeping the K-pop community honest” when I didn’t pick up on anything other than the joke of reusing that Seungri picture over and over again.
To be clear, I don’t want to take your word as gospel on anything, in fact, I disagree with you on many things (particularly music) but sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on an underlying message you’re trying to get through to the audience with your posts. Am I being stupid?

It’s okay not to get it, if that’s inspiring you to think about the articles more and what they might really be saying, then I can only say that that’s a very good development and you should pursue that.

please roast asian junkie more.


Q.4 should have been a checklist cause I also like the Interactive fanfiction but Star Date Irene Edition was just so fucking good

Glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks for putting up music theory posts.

I enjoy those pieces where you write at length about music and the music industry, even if I don’t always agree with your arguments. I also look forward to your end of year lists.

I’m not in a position to support you financially, but I appreciate your blogging.

Thank you!  Don’t worry about the financial thing, it’s purely optional and while I am forever grateful for all donations however small, I understand not everyone has disposable income.

I really appreciate the effort you put into making kpop related media (RPGs, Interactive Fan Fiction, Fan Comment Script) and all your other variety posts. Keep up the great work but also make sure to have adequate rest! Always be your Caonima!



YO! Didn’t realize there was a subreddit! I’ve just started to actually reddit recently, so that’s fortuitous, and I’ll definitely pop over and give it a follow. I’ve been ignoring my RSS feed recently, so this should keep me abreast of all Kpopalypse developments I need!

Hey, btw, how ya doing? It’s always a pleasure checking in here, but I wonder how you maintain a consistent interest in something like Kpop. Living in China, it’s a little harder for me to consistently and easily access English-language content about Korea, and my interest has waned. I think it’s also a bit of growing up, but I really just read you and AJ occasionally, and don’t listen to a lot of Kpop music. IRONICALLY, I’ve been super into Austrian rock since following a link that someone posted in the comments of Kpopalypse! But seriously, how do you keep it up? Especially when there aren’t good releases for a good long while? Is it just the fappability?

High determination levels.  Also the blog has been working out quite well for me and is kind of self-motivating at this point.  It’s definitely not the fapability, k-pop doesn’t hold a candle to JAV in that regard.

Keep on being your normal, salty caonima self, you incorrigible humanoid, you.

Seriously, one of the reasons I keep reading your blog and Twitter feed is to see all the aegyo-goo and other shite scraped clean from K-pop, and its true worrisome face revealed (your dog-whistle series on DIA was revelatory).

Long may you wave.
Or piss and moan.
Or…. whatevs.

Thank you!

Not really feedback, just a question: do you think your music taste has changed over the years you’ve been running this blog?

Not significantly, no.  The early best-of lists might change a little bit if I were to redo them now – but not much.

Thanks for making the survey! I had fun. Definitely MRS


That’s all for this post!  Hopefully you enjoyed reading the results of this survey!  I’ll leave the final word to Tiffany!

7 thoughts on “The Kpopalypse 2019 survey of important trufax – THE RESULTS!

  1. Solos: Egoist = new = Heart Attack > Love Cherry Motion > ViVid > Eclipse > Kiss Later > The Carol = I’ll Be There > Let Me In > One & Only > Singing In The Rain > Around You > Everyday I Love You > My Sunday = My Melody > Everyday I Need You = The Carol 2.0

    Subgroups: Loonatic > Girl Front > Sweet Crazy Love = Love & Live > Sonatine > love4eva

  2. “Your Bias Is A Rapist”

    I only stan girl groups, so I probably don’t have to worry too much about this.

  3. “Angie, Brad met Twice last week”… Thanks so much for a good laugh! 🙂
    “Why is Dami styled to look like Hillary Clinton?” and another! Ha!
    And thank you forever for mentioning Amayoshi Shizuku – a plump Japanese GND in porn? I would probly never have found her without you. Great blog, sir!

Comments are closed.