It’s time once again for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out some new releases!
Holy fucking dickballs, shit-cunts, it’s Yein from Lovelyz!
Itzy – Dalla Dalla
Well, when Twice started they weren’t all that great either, so let’s just forgive them this awkward 2NE1-lite and see what happens down the track I guess.
Loco ft. Zion T. – It’s Been A While
It’s been a while since Zion T. was in anything good. In fact was he ever in anything good ever? I can’t remember. At least Loco did a song with Hyomin once.
ONF – We Must Love
Don’t get too excited, it’s not another “Complete“. It’s okay though.
Jisook – The Way We Were
Even though this song really isn’t my style it’s good to see Raina back again. What do you mean this isn’t Raina? I don’t believe anything about this until I see a doctor’s certificate.
Deepshower ft. Min – Marathon
Tedious techno crap. No wonder we haven’t heard anything from her in a while if this is what JYP was refusing to let through quality control.
Kim Hyun Joong – Why
I like how the subtitles are in French. It’s the language of love! Hey, what’s French for “I’ll attack your butthole today”?
JYP – This Small Hand
This fucking creeps me out. To you it might seem “heartfelt” or whatever but all I see here is another cult recruit.
Yesung – Because I Love You
Fuck the song, it’s the usual generic ballad shit that you’ve all heard before a million times and are now sick of – but who is the girl in this? She definitely meets required standards.
Pierce – Shadow
Usually “kids k-pop” is super cringe, and I guess this is too, but it’s actually also a reasonably good song.
CoCo – TalkTalk
…and this one is also not too bad. This week I guess is the week where the kids all kick the adults’ asses.
MJ Sunnyside ft. Han Hyeri – Good Night
If fully-grown adults insist on making music like this it’s no wonder they get so easily upstaged by a bunch of rugrats.
6band – Just Memories
Some one-take videos are less impressive than others.
Jero – Judge
I judge that this is shit, case dismissed.
Hanhae – Flashback
Jazz trap. Now that’s a fusion nobody needed or asked for.
Lafee – Hello
Just because you’ve got apples in your video doesn’t mean you’re Loona.
CHS – Seoulmong
What’s worse than listening to four minutes of boring smooth instrumental? Listening to ten minutes of boring smooth instrumental.
Koyote – Fact
Crappy 20-year old idol pop doesn’t actually sound that bad once you remove the dreadful production.
BORING J-SHITS SECTION
IZ*ONE – Gokigen Sayonara
It sucks for me that IZ*ONE exist because it kind of feels like writing about j-pop.
IZ*ONE – Neko Ni Naritai
Anyway la de da let’s just move on.
Snuper – Weekend Secret
It’s actually better than their last few songs for the Korean market. How sad that it’s come to this for Snuper.
FTIsland – God Bless You
Sure it rocks, but I would never accept this type of half-assed emo rock from any western group so I’m not going to accept it here.
N.Flying – Stand By Me
N.Flying’s half-baked emo rock is better than FTIsland’s due to some decent keyboard action.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
Longest k-pop girl group/boy group days since last comeback
Elite caonima YouTuber isaymyeolchigr returns with more quality content! Shed a tear for the winners.
That’s all for this week’s roundup – more next week!
KPOPALYPSE 
R.I.P. 9MUSES (2010-2019)
Did Itzy dalla dalla and cherry bullet Q&A written by same person?
No idea, I don’t really follow who writes what. Perhaps someone else knows.
Hello. I’m French. “I’ll attack your butthole today” is “Je vais attaquer ton trou du cul aujourd’hui”. You’re welcome caonima.
Thank you!
What a sad week. Anyway I love We Must Love – although I agree, it’s no Complete – and Weekend Secret; everything else… nope. Coco is so creepily young; I joke that anyone born 2000 or later is basically 12 but they’re literally 13 at the oldest and who knows how long they trained before that. I’m genuinely concerned about them, like go to school for fuck’s sake.
IT’Z A mess.
Yein is officially a fellow caonima now…kpopalypse finally meet his soulmate
Is it me or does the KYT track have elements of an Ailee track in it.. I do disagree with your assessment regarding Hanhae its ok but its definitely no Stetsasonic – talking all that jazz who did it better and in 1988… the rest seems to getting the same malaise that western pop music has had for the last 10 years its boring as all fuck…
I forgot to add.. the 2 kids groups in this selection if they had to train the way others kpop idol aspirants had to train id call that child abuse… but speaking as a parent those kids are gonna be insufferable by the time they hit puberty if they become successful…big if though songs are shit
Not sure which ONF – We Must Love youtube link you had but seeing as its now gone, there is another at
watch?v=oGTJkDWxR_s
The one I have here still works for me?