It’s time for the next clearing house post! Let’s take a look at some more songs I didn’t get a chance to review throughout the year, and dump on them in typical Kpopalypse style! Yay!
EXO – Oh La La La
Not all that fascinating, because it doesn’t do much – the fangirls screaming in this live version is far more interesting than the song itself.
Ten with Rion Five – Do It
I like the idea of the two grouups having a dance-off, more groups should try this in official MVs. K-pop is the ideal genre for it.
Indigo Music – IndiGO
Not too bad, but would be better if the beat threw away those trap cymbals.
Rose Finger – Hibidi Pop
Legit good visuals for a nugu but there’s not much else here.
Rose Finger – Go Away
The ballad is actually a slightly better song but the visuals are worse with about 80% of the screen time spent waiting for someone to fade into focus.
Parkgolf & Jvcki Wai – Xaradise
None of her other songs have the infectious catchiness of “Enchanted Propaganda” to help mitigate that horrible Autotuned drawl but at least she still looks the part here.
AOA – Super Duper
Well they’ve had worse songs, especially these days, but it all just makes me miss the band concept.
Xeno-T – Everywhere
These guys used to be in ToppDogg, and have now moved to Japan, probably because they want to be closer to Martina’s flesh. Who can blame them, that’s what I’d do too.
Dabda – Polydream
Korean pop has overtaken the west years ago but their rock music is still three steps behind the pack. The co-ordination required to do some of that playing seems pretty cool, until you hear how much the western version of this kind of thing shits all over it.
IN2IT – Geronimo
Too much brassiness, not enough actual song.
UNI+ G – You & I
Really pretty bland.
Gfriend – Love Bug
It’s not bad but sometimes it’s easy to hear why a song wasn’t chosen as a feature track.
Sera – Medicine Song
Poor Sera can’t turn a trick since leaving Nine Muses. Boring songs all the way without exception.
Sera – Han River
See what I mean? Idol agencies hire outside songwriters for a reason.
Sandy – Azera
I’m sure one day she’ll get big and will be forced into boring rap ballads and R&B bullshit to sustain a career, but right now she’s still cool, enjoy it while it lasts.
Dreamcatcher – July 7th
Honestly a bit of an unfortunate waste of time, Dreamcatcher shouldn’t mess with tracks like this that dilute their core sound into nothing. Know your strength, team.
NO:EL – 00
That bass and those guitar riffs just don’t go together at all.
Young B – Polo
This guy can’t work out if he’s shit yolotrap or shit shoegaze.
Shaun – Way Back Home
Honestly, I don’t completely doubt Shaun’s success – this is definitely one of the better songs in this style, and there’s not many good ones, so the good ones stick out. The fact it goes for midrange guitar where most songs would reach for the ear-busting toot-toot certainly helps it along.
Lim Hyun Jung – God Bless You
This has some nice strings but it still boring anyway.
Jade ft. Seoungmin – Would You Love Me The Same
This looks like a heavy metal album where they deploy cursive and rococo ironically – except in this case, these boring cunts mean it.
Saturday – In Your Eyes
Oh dear, this is about as far downhill from their last song as it gets. Also what’s with the disturbing zoom. I don’t care how pretty you are I don’t want to see anybody’s face that close up.
Kwon Jin Ah – This Winter
This winter don’t listen to bullshit like this and you’ll have a better winter than I did… oh wait it’s actually summer where I live. Fuck these k-pop singers are so insensitive waving their Northern Hemispehrian privilege in my face.
Berry Good – This Winter
You know those fan videos that get made where people grab random footage from various official sources and try to sync the words up? Well this is just like that except it’s actually an official video, and they do a far worse job of it than most of the fan ones do.
Jay Park – Million
That hair, Jay – yeah nah.
Eyedi – Caffeine
Eyedi pitches for 80s synthpop territory and doesn’t quite get it right.
GOT7 – I Won’t Let You Go
Who is the “you” they are referring to here… or maybe it isn’t a person but they’re talking about the tropical shithouse fad, now that would make sense.
100% – 28C
Man, it hurts how much this group suck now.
Junggigo ft. Soma – Swish
On the other hand Junggigo has always been crap so this doesn’t hurt at all.
Yesung & Chungha – Whatcha Doin’
The usual rambling formless R&B mess.
Surl – Snow
Hey this is alright and wasn’t the lame seasonal bullshit that I feared.
Woohyun – A Song For You
Woohyun talks over most of this song and probably just as well.
BoA – Amor
BoA is a bit late to the boring latin trend. Go home girl, party’s over.
Jang Deok Chol – If I Knew
I can’t wait for global warming to stop these kind of comebacks.
Winner – Millions
This is just that trendy sound we’re all bored with, it’s weird how YG can get Blackpink right these days but can’t do much for Winner.
Seventeen – Getting Closer
All those people sad about Pledis changing their YouTube channels or some bullshit are idiots. Pledis are looking out for you – they’re just trying to protect you from having to hear this crap.
Sooyoung – Winter Breath
Relax, it’s not that Sooyo… oh wait what the fuck, yes it is! Sooyoung here is de-glam like SM would never dare, pity the song isn’t anywhere near as brave.
The King – I’m Coming To You
Let’s hope not.
High Tension – Infectious
This is that group who like to dance with guitars but who don’t play them much. They haven’t changed their ways.
Sori ft. Jaehyun – I’m Ready
This sounds exactly like every other tropical shithouse song ever. Watch everyone else lose their shit about it because they can’t see past Sori’s body, but she’s not my type at all so her powers don’t work on me.
That’s all for this post! The next post will be the Christmas roundup – enjoy!