Kpopalypse 2018 roundup clearing house post 1

Hi everyone and welcome to the first clearing house post of 2018!  These are some songs that didn’t get in any of the roundups, plus quick thoughts.  Don’t worry if that song you asked for missed out – there will be at least one more of these posts over the next two weeks!

REQUESTS

I tried to get most of your requests in.  Some were left out due to lack of eligibility (i.e not a feature track or a song released as a single or performed at music shows), or because I had covered them before and you just hadn’t noticed, or maybe I just skipped a couple because the list was about 600 songs long (not even joking).

Norazo – Cider

This was requested more than just about anything in the end of year survey for these clearing house posts.  Honestly I always find Norazo dull – all style but never any good songs.  I didn’t write about it because I figured nobody else would care either.

Yang GuBeom ft. Jeon SeonJeong – Femme Fatale

Well it’s better than a k-pop ballad, I’ll give it that.  I still found it a bit plodding and boring though.  Also why is the bass player wearing that bright red jumper and destroying the colour-coordination, talk about a combo breaker.

Myteen – Martian

Eh, it’s okay I guess.

Blanc7 – Drama

This one’s actually pretty good.  One of the best suggestions I got, for sure.

BTS – Airplane pt. 2

The vaguely tango-lite start isn’t too bad but then it just transforms into the usual trap-style bullshit.

Kris Wu – November Rain

I didn’t forget about this song, I was just trying to pretend it didn’t exist.  Where’s Slash when you need him.

Key – Good Good

This song has one really good feature – that synth bassline in the chorus.  Everything else is terrible.

Fei ft. Jackson – Hello

Fei’s song is a nice try but it’s just too slow and uninteresting to grab me, plus Jackson still can’t rap.

Dongkiz – Nom

I was expecting a group full of Shindong clones but instead it’s just the usual average brassy k-pop boredom.

V – Singularity

For the person who asked, this is not even 1% jazz, it’s ultra-slow pop with a few instruments that are typically used in jazz.  It’s also boring, and it wrecks its own mood a bit by going to major chords at really weird times.

Jin – Epiphany

Jin’s song is much better… at least in the verses, which start promisingly.  Pity the chorus completely doesn’t pay off the build up by being some ballad crap.  Anyone who thinks that BTS are somehow “different” to other k-pop groups in any meaningful way musically has rocks in their head.

Chohyun – Last Summer

It’s really good, with a fantastic ambience which (unlike BTS above) actually pays off as the song picks up.

Hcue ft. ACE – I Feel So Lucky

Apparently this had an official video that was removed and I have no idea why.  Maybe in a rare attack of good taste they realised the song was shit and wasn’t needed on the planet.

G-reyish – With A Smile

A great song, except for that bit where it slows down for no reason, songwriters need to stop that.  It hurts to think how much better this could have been if they’d removed that and put another actually good section in.

Stray Kids – Voices

This is actually better than all the other stuff Stray Kids put out this year.

Lovelyz – Aya

The producer really tries to make this average song amazing by adding all sorts of random shit in the background, and it nearly fooled me.

Wooyoung – Party Shots

Sometimes people request stuff because they think it might belong on the worst-of list instead.  In this case, er… well picked.  Mind you, competition for total shit is pretty stiff this year so it might not get on even so.

Doo – Love Always

Yeah this is dull.

Lee Jin Ah & Gray – Run

If Gray is in something you know it’s going to be bad.  It’s almost like he called himself Gray for a reason.

N-Flying – Up All Night

This is just dull, N.Flying have done a lot better than this.

Purple – Maemmaeya

Writing an 80s style song is more than just having lots of gated drums, you need a good song too.

Romeo – Beautiful Like A Flower

Definitely not Romeo’s best, this is just average.

IZ – Heartbeat

It’s not good.  I don’t like this type of funk-rock thing generally.

Blackpink – Forever Young

I thought I’d gotten around this one already but I don’t think so.  Anyway it’s really good.

WJSN – You You You

It almost comes together in the chorus but not quite, and the rest is boring.  Note that this is a cut-down version of the full song, but you’re missing nothing of importance.

Soju ft Edward Avila – K-pop Idol Reject

Yeah thanks for this suggestion – not.

HeMeets – Casanova

Great guitar playing but the song itself is pretty average.

Maywish – Hello

This should have really gotten in the last Nugu Alert but oh well.  It’s not all that great though, but I really like the look of the video and using a helipad is a good nugu budget setpiece solution.

NEW SHIT

Justhis – Gone

Partway through the captions ask “how do you like this song so far?” so I’m going to say “needs a harder beat”.

Swavey Child – Replay

If there’s one thing worse than Autotuned rap it’s harmonised Autotuned rap.

Bay P – Snow In Your Eyes

I bet that’s what he tells all the girls.

Gaho – Preparation For A Journey

Seatbelts, folks.  Wear them.

Lee Changsub – Gone

Well maybe she wouldn’t be gone if you weren’t such a ballad-writing cunt.

Pretty Brown & It’s – By My Side

That’s funny, the last time I did a shit I also looked down and thought “it’s pretty brown”.

Hollen – Romantic Edition

No.

Land Of Peace – Happy Kushy Days

Sounds just like 90’s britpop except shit.  So in other words it sounds just like 90’s britpop.

Heyne – Don’t Be Afraid

I always skip OSTs because they suck and this is no exception but I just wanted to let you know that this exists so you could feel as bad as I did when I found out.

Zene The Zilla – Samsung

I’m pretty sure he’s serious.  Pretty sure.

Most Badass Asian – Moori

I thought this was supposed to be a joke group or something, so who knows how close to their aims this really is.

Gilla ft. Meego – Vivid

One fucking weird backing track that lurches around like a drunk, and that Gilla steadfastly refuses to do anything interesting with.

Tweety – Run Run Run

This could have been great but awful production kind of kills everything.

TraxX – Excape

Yeah just let it die guys.  It’s too late now.

Loop & Nafla – Shooter

Aren’t you glad Korea has strict gun control laws.

Younha – Snail Mail

Even snails have more excitement in their lives than this.

Buzz – Missing You

Yet another ballad like every other ballad.  Even that guitar solo can’t save it.

Heize – First Sight

I thought she was sitting under mistletoe but it’s just weeds or something.  You’re safe, Heize – for now.

EXO – Love Shot

Not much to listen to here but look at that red suit, I’m waiting for some fangirl to wrap it softly.


That’s all for this post – more posts soon!

5 thoughts on “Kpopalypse 2018 roundup clearing house post 1

  1. You forgot 100%’s newest release (28* C) but I don’t even blame you because that is the most YouTube search unfriendly combination of band name and song title I have seen in a while.

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