It’s time once again for Kpopalypse roundup!  Let’s take a look at some new releases!

Note that the radio show was guest-programmed this week, therefore the roundup and the radio show do not have their usual symbiotic relationship, hence no “bonus songs”.  Essentially, everything is a bonus song this week.

Jennie – Solo

An accurate portrayal of going to the laundromat, both visually and musically.

Drunken Tiger – Mantra

The sort of thing that I’d expect from Drunken Tiger and that I hope they do more of… wait, they’re breaking up?  fml

Nell – Let’s Part

And then there’s groups that you wish would break up because they’re now on their 265th album and still not getting much better.

Kim Nayoung – I Can’t Say That

Don’t worry Kim there’s freedom of speech, you can say anything, people don’t have to like it.

Taemin – Under My Skin

Speaking of which, to all the people upset that I make jokes about Jonghyun, remember that black humour is how Australians often cope with tragedy, and I lost a partner in very similar circumstances to Jonghyun.  I wouldn’t make jokes about it at all if I didn’t think the issue was important.  Try to read between the lines a bit, if you can.  Or you can just choose to be offended if that floats your boat more.  Taemin’s song is alright by the way, hopefully I get to play it on the radio one day but you know how the Japanese are with music access so I can give you no guarantees here.

D-Crunch – Stealer

I like the flashlights, that’s a really clever way to have a cool lighting effect and save on budget, other agencies take note that a good light show is only a dark room and a supermarket visit away.

BTOB – Beautiful Pain

This is actually relatively upbeat for a BTOB song these days, so even though I don’t like it much I feel oddly grateful that this isn’t even worse.

Hyoyeon & 3Lau – Punk Right Now

Well it’s pretty far away from punk (Hyoyeon needs a lesson from the masters, stat) but it’s actually not bad anyway.  Hyoyeon’s tropical shithouse-influenced songs have actually been some of the best in that particular genre this year.

Dynamic Duo ft. Ohhyuk – Hemi’s Room

Dynamic Duo can be great when they want to be, but today isn’t one of those days.  In fact we haven’t had one of those days for about a couple years now.

S.O.U.L – Get Myself With You

I don’t know much about this but apparently it’s a semi-fictional group for some mockumentary or something?  Anyway it’s not exactly Spinal Tap by the looks so I think I’ll skip that bullshit.

Stray Kids – Get Cool

The real question is why is there an American quarter in this video instead of Korean currency?  Did they really think that a local coin would alienate the international listeners that much?

Under Nineteen (Performance Team) – We Are Young

Check the comments on this one.  Everyone just announcing who in the group they will support, like other people care.  TV reality shows turn music fans into drooling idiots.

Under Nineteen (Rap Team) – Friends

It’s not too bad but when that kid comes on and starts doing nursery rhyme shit I just want to tell him to stop playing with the adults and go to his room.  It’s not an age thing, it wouldn’t be any different if he was 90 years old singing that same bullcrap but it would be different if he was doing something, you know… good.

Under Nineteen (Vocal Team) – Go Tomorrow

The vocal team strangely have the best song.  I’m not sure what it is.  Maybe I actually am a vocalfaggot, or maybe I just really like pizza.

Crush – Lay Your Head On Me

Terrible balladeering of the worst kind.

Hotshot – I Hate You

Maybe they should be called “medium shot” for this one.

N.Tic – Do You Know Who I Am

For some reason I kept skipping over this song when compiling roundup.  A shame for me, as I really like it actually, although I’d say that their debut is even better.

Aqua – Log In

A rework of the rhythm and harmony for Loona Odd Eye Circle’s “Girl Front” but with a much worse melody over the top.

P.O – Comme Des Garcons

Much better than I expected, it’s kinda average, which is a pretty outstanding achievement for any boy k-pop group soloist.  Respect.

Triptops – My Song Is

…shit.

Leebada – Painting

This song is garbage too but the video has some great perpetual motion devices.

Ignito – Tipping Point

I feel like this video is cool but that it’s for the completely wrong song.

Choi Chang Soon – Each Other

Kind of boring but I guess if you’re sleepy it might do the job better than Stilnox.

Fly To The Sky – A Time Limit

These guys are definitely past theirs.

Kwak JinEon – Freely

It’s got one foot in early Pink Floyd territory and the other in a big dollop of ballad poop.

Jay Kim – Happy Together

Listen to this jazz fusion trash.  This is the enemy.  Know your enemy.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Pink Fantasy – College Scholastic Ability Test Support!

I know it’s supposed to be cute and encouraging to all those students out there, but I can’t stop thinking that I’m watching a Donnie Darko sequel whenever I see this group do anything at all.  Maybe if the rabbit mask actually looked cute and not like something pulled out of a skip bin at the back of a strip club that might help their cause a little.

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That’s all for this week’s Kpopalypse roundup!  More next week!