It’s Kpopalypse roundup time once again! Let’s check out this week’s new releases!
Twice – Yes Or Yes
“Rape culture” is a term for idiots, and people who think that dirty jokes and healthy objectification somehow contribute to an overarching culture of rape are not thinking with their full brain capacity. When someone steals we don’t call it “theft culture”, nor do we act as if borrowing something from a friend and forgetting to give it back is somehow on the same moral equivalence scale as a bank robbery. Likewise, when Twice consistently release songs this good we don’t call it “Twice is better than your bias culture”, we just calmly accept that Twice is better than your bias.
Gugudan – Not That Type
Posing on top of the family SUV doesn’t actually make you look that badass, it makes you look like someone who needs to wait for their dad to finish paying for the petrol. He’ll only be a moment, can you get off the roof please you impatient fucks.
Key & Soyou – Forever Yours
None of Soyou’s ample bosom in the video, save yourself the click.
Dreamnote – Dream Note
I shat on it a bit during the livestream for this roundup but the song is actually growing on me quite a lot. It took me a while to work out why, but then I realised that it’s because even though some of the chants are a bit annoying, thinking about how they’ll annoy others even more makes me kind of happy, which then allows me to get into the happy mood of the other parts of the song more. Funny how that works.
Spectrum – What Do I Do
Here’s the other really good song this week. The tropical shit works here because it’s actually related to the rest of the instrumental and doesn’t break the mood, but nor is it that generic tropical beat shit behind it. It’s like someone actually wrote a song carefully instead of hitting random notes on a keyboard with a marimba patch dialed in.
Truedy ft Avec Plaisir – Very Rare
Truedy makes the mistake of rapping just enough in English here to reveal to English speakers that she can’t rap. I like her though, the way that one likes a kitten who falls down some stairs.
H.U.B – Finale
That girl with the short multi-coloured hair really drew the short straw, didn’t she. Imagine being all excited for your k-pop debut, imagining the (supposed) glamour and fame, and then your CEO approaches you with your new hairstyle concept and it’s a flotation device for toddlers.
Jackson & Gucci Mane – Different Game
Jackson wants to be one of those rap guys so badly, it’s cute how he keeps trying.
Jay Park ft. Superbee & Jvcki Wai – Finish Line
Meanwhile Jay Park is one of those rap guys these days I suppose but keeps wanting to be soft-ass R&B-pop like his old group instead. However this song is over 5 BPM and has actual rap in it so that’s something.
Dean ft. Sulli, Rad Museum – Dayfly
It’s great to see Sulli doing more music just so her continual inclusion in the conceptual fabric of my blog stays relevant, but this isn’t much of a song in the parts where she’s not singing. Sulli floats over the beat nicely while the two guys just kind of mumble through it slack-jawed. I suppose if Sulli was there in the studio with them, who can blame them.
Seventeen – Holiday
Vegans everywhere have just cancelled Seventeen. I’ve never seen teenage boys so happy to be in a supermarket aisle.
Sixbomb – some ballad bullshit
Lafee – Love Fever
I feel suddenly struck with “let’s just be friends” fever.
V-Hawk ft. Niel – Alice
R&B/Jazz-lite is the enemy of all that is good in this world.
K.will – Those Days
K.will continues to be boring.
Noel – How About You
How about no.
Anne One ft. Junoflo – Ride
I was thinking about not doing a boobs post this year because of the lack of contenders, plus the fact that I think people get the picture by now. Anne One is doing her best to change my mind.
O.When – Picture
Don’t be fooled by the trendy bullshit videos like this one. Vintage anything is crap. As someone old enough to remember, shit is so much better now.
24 Flakko – Do More
This is actually way creepier than the Twice song and not just because a guy is doing it. It would be creepy for anybody to sing this bullshit.
Jaeph – Good Night
How did he know that I would be sleeping to this.
South Club – I’m Crazy
He was supposed to be some rebel two years ago and now he’s a polite acoustic guitar strummer, what happened. Don’t tell me rock and roll is all a lie nooooooo
Mabean – Hide Away
It’s not that great or even much to look at but at least it rocks a bit.
Numori – Cheer
This group actually came out with a bunch of stuff this week and they’re actually really good. Unfortunately they are hardcore nugu and I can’t find their music anywhere.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
A-YEON X Roland V-drums TD-50KVX – Let Me Go
Bebop’s Ayeon has now picked up a Roland endorsement, so it’s time to talk about important advances in drum technology. Electronic drums are pretty cool, they’ve been around for a while and were a bit crap in the 1980s but the technology is much better now, to the point where drummers actually enjoy using them. The early versions detected nothing but how hard you hit the pads and then adjusted volume to suit, but new ones are much more responsive and allow for traditional drum techniques like bell-proximity effects for ride cymbals and even rimshots to be executed in the same manner as the real thing, they also feel a lot better to play and a lot less like hitting plastic practice pads. Audio engineers love electronic drums too because it makes drums so much easier to record if you can just take a direct input feed from a control box instead of setting up fiddly microphones for everything. Also Roland gear is super-reliable and never breaks unless you wildly mistreat it, I’ve still got Roland gear from 15 years ago that went through every other piss-stained pub carpet in Australia and it all still functions. However don’t take my word for it, Ayeon is a drummer with experience and knows what decent gear is, please replay this video to closely observe the equipment’s excellent versatility, responsiveness and build quality.
That’s all for this week’s Kpopalypse roundup! Roundup shall return next week!