It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out some new releases!
April are smiling because they’ve just realised that they’re almost definitely going to get on the favourites list this year. Yes my opinion really means that much to them. Or maybe – just maybe – I’m joking, and the fact that a Korean group would even know about or give a shit about some snarky irrelevant western blogger is, like, the joke, so I’m actually making fun of myself here in a very self-deprecating style which is common for Australian humour generally. As you can see, my humour isn’t very funny, but it’s a whole lot less funny when I have to explain how it works to borderline-retards (which isn’t ableist because if you don’t understand the above then you probably actually are borderline retarded so it’s just stating facts really).
April – Oh! My Mistake
Oh yeah and their song is really quite good.
Sohee ft. Bolbbalgan4 – Hurry Up
It’s quite BOL4. Yeah don’t be fooled by the attractive front-end like lesser bloggers were, this is a Bol4 song in everything except name.
Eunji – Being There
The song starts at about 2:10 and fuck knows what is going on in this eight-minute drama video but let’s just say it isn’t T-ara fighting with samurai swords in a post-apocalyptic Seoul so who really cares.
Hongki ft. Ilhoon – Cookies
When even the rockers are doing tropical shithouse it’s time to put the whole style to bed for good. Anything except this type of sonic treatment would have suited this song.
John Legend & Wendy – Written In The Stars
Who is John Legend? I don’t know but this sucks.
Dua Lipa & Blackpink – Kiss & Make Up
I don’t give a fuck about this song but I’d better put it here so you all shut up about it.
Amber – Lost At Sea
Good description of her music post-f(x) but at least it’s not some fucking mid-tempo R&B ballad snoozer like usual.
S#aFLA – DDu-Ru-DDu-PPa-Ra-Ppa
The guy at the agency grooming this group was like “fuck it I can’t think of a group name let’s just roll my dick across the keys sa#D%$l@j#h$Ad s$lH$n%@#eR$Ga ur@eN5s2g##%l@jKH S#aFLA…. hey that’ll do!”
Soya – Artist
Well at least it’s OH&S compliant with all that high-vis.
BONUS SONGS
Rainz – Niji
I know these Koreans really go into for the jawshaves a lot so it’s heartening to see one guy here who seems to have everyone else’s extra jaw tissue bolted onto his chin. Now we all know where it went.
Joungjae & Park Jimin – I’m All Ears
Apparently this is for some suicide prevention benefit which seems ironic as I don’t think this song is going to stop anyone from suicide, but it might inspire a few people to start. Don’t listen without a health professional present. Also, what happened to Park Jimin’s face, is that really her?
Aoora – Harder
Someone told me that I forgot about this song when it came out and I wish that you didn’t remind me thanks.
Mommy Son – Shonen Jump
Korea finally get their first TISM. Not sure how I feel about this, because while TISM did certainly have a few good funny moments their music was always playing second fiddle to their trolling.
Kim Dong Han – Good Night Kiss
This is boring.
Zion T. ft. Seulgi – Hello Tutorial
It’s quite shit. Does Zion. T ever do anything good? Spoiler alert – no.
Lay – Namanana
It’s not quite tropical shithouse, more of an African vibe. Well kind of. This shit all sounds the same now so I gotta cling onto the little differences.
Xeheun – Ride On
Wait, they have Zombie Walk in Korea now? I thought that was just an Adelaide thing.
Brand Newjiq – Hello
When you run out of money just go to a karaoke bar and film it, I guess.
Biya ft. Olltti – Tokyo
A story of a girl wandering through a foreign city where people actually obey the road rules.
Cacophony – Breath
Wow, this group have sure mellowed since their “Speed Metal Symphony” days.
Yoogno – Last Scene
Not much of a song but watching this random girl dance for no reason to a thoroughly undanceable song is actually entertaining.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
IU “Bbibbi” – making of
Watching IU trying to crack the camera lens with the sheer hate-energy emanating from her eyes never gets old.
That’s all for this week’s Kpopalypse roundup! Thanks for reading and Kpopalypse will return!
KPOPALYPSE 
April’s new song…wig flew.
Amber! Just a guess after watching – she might’ve had something to do with the editing. (Multi-talented!) I like Park Jimin, and she needs songs to sing, this is a nice one for people who’ve lost all hope. Tried to watch IU filming Bibi, but her falling asleep lost me.
april really outdid themselves
Why settle for just four minutes of total boredom when you can have eight?
S#aFLA is supposed to be “Sharp and Flat”, also they have an ex girl’s day member in there, I can’t be bothered to look up which though.
Who’s going to tell them that debuting mature girls isn’t fly anymore?