It’s time once again for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
Weki Meki – Crush
Well it has a chorus with a tune, and that’s the first for Weki Meki. Let’s support this so their agency gets the hint!
Alphabat – New World
It’s the same sets as Hint’s “Tang Tang Tang” so you know the song isn’t going to be too bad.
IU – Bbibbi
I’ve been telling people for years that IU hates you all, but nobody would believe me, accusing me of being misogynist or whatever fucking bullshit. But I was right of course. Now she’s got a song where she basically proves me correct, and comes right out and says everything but “all of you cunts just fuck off” and you’d better believe she means it. I suppose you could interpret the lyrics as pro-woman if you really wanted to, but that’s honestly a reach – really they’re just pro-IU and anti the entire rest of the planet.
NCT 127 – Regular
This is the Korean version, I’ll spare you the “let’s compete with BTS even though we still haven’t really worked out what they did that we didn’t” English version. Trust me the song is even worse when you actually can understand the words. Actually even the Korean version has a pretty high cringe ratio but at least there is some legit sub-bass to try and get your mind off it all.
Fromis_9 – Love Bomb
It’s actually a really good song and would be better still if the girls didn’t have to go “love-love-bomb” repeatedly in the chorus. Come on songwriters, give them a chance to breathe! When they start passing out on stage in a few weeks we know who to blame.
Super Junior & Reik – One More Time (Otra Vez)
At least we get to see Shindong doing latin dancing. Fuck yeah! Bring on the fancams! And that scene with his hand on his heart… ladies you’re not ready for the raw emotional impact.
NC.A – I’m Fine
So I guess this is her “ballad song ready for just in case I die tragically”. It’s always good to keep one of those up your sleeve so your agency can make some money posthumously from all the trendy fucks who didn’t give a shit about you when you were alive because they were too busy paying attention to whatever was trendy and cool in Korea at the time, and then start mass-streaming your songs out of guilt from not supporting you enough.
Seven O’clock – Nothing Better
Well the intro was cool, it went a little bit downhill when the song started though.
Seven O’clock – Searchlight
This song is much better, it’s actually really good. No, really.
Sweet Fresh Thrill ft. Orange & Smilli – Pink Hard
As far as the hideous latin trend goes I guess this is actually a better crack at it than most of them.
Loco ft. Colde – It Takes Time
I had to listen to YouTube ads before I could hear this because my adblocker fucked up, and it wasn’t worth the five seconds I had to wait. (Oh and thanks to the caonima who recommended uBlock Origin, I agree that it’s better than Adblock Plus! FUCK ADS. Isn’t that right, Asian Junkie.)
Monika – Luvidu
This is supposed to be some kind of up-vibe tropical latin bullshit just like everything this week, but Monika looks oddly depressed throughout it all. Then again, so am I from listening to this so maybe that’s understandable.
Silverbell – Reset
Yes this is about as exciting as drawing on post-it notes.
Lee Hong Gi & Cheetah – I Am
This song is boring.
Elaine – Falling
Nakjoon ft. Luna – Still
Luna appears at 1:39, you’re welcome.
Kris Wu ft. Jhene Aiko – Freedom
Well at least he pronounces his words correctly in this one… which makes me wonder why he didn’t bother to do that for “Juice” given that it was for the American market and all.
BM – Be Mine
Why does this remind me of Bangs?
VAV – Senorita
With all these Latin sounding songs these days latin ladies must feel like the sexiest people on earth. Or maybe not, once they hear this one.
Snuper – You In My Eyes
It’s not as awful as people think it is, but that’s only because people are (understandably) dearly hoping for another “Platonic Love” from these guys at some point. Remove the Snuper name from it and it’s just an average boy group song like any other.
Jei – If You Love Me
No, it’s not that Jei, the one from Fiestar. Or if it is, damn she sure got a ton of surgery to fill back in the bits of jaw she got scraped off five years ago (ouch).
Wisue – Hey
My browser started crashing while watching this and the song didn’t really grab my attention enough for me to give a shit.
We Are The Night – SF
It’s okay but it would be better if they double-timed the rhythm.
Vibe – Not A Love
Accurate song title of the week.
San E – Wannabe Rapper
Get that rubbish Childish Gambino song and remove the one good thing about it which is that someone gets shot in the video, and this is the result.
Lim Hyunjung – First Love
Tune that violin ffs.
UV ft. Yoo Hee Yeol, Jung Jae Hyung – Who Am I
Even UV are boring this week.
MRSHLL ft. Lydia Paek – OK
Why does he sound like he’s been kicked in the nuts. Yeah I know he’s gay but that’s no excuse, gay guys give their nuts a workout more than anybody so his ballsack should be super fit and buff, but this guy’s throat sounds like he is actually a cigarette.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Blackpink “Ddu-du Ddu-du” – 8-bit videogame cover
The person who made this has a ton of these very clever “8-bit covers” on his channel, but his version of “Ddu-du Ddu-du” is by far the most interesting visually (if not the best sounding – not sure if making up randomish tunes for the rap parts instead of trying to nail the actual pitching of the rap vocal was a good idea but oh well). A surprising amount of detail from the actual music video is in this 8-bit version if you pay attention, and the more you watch, the more you will notice.
That’s all for this week – roundup shall return!