Welcome to another Kpopalypse roundup – let’s check out some new releases!
I guess because they’re called “Noir” they have to wear all black, so that headgear is some serious over-compensation.
Lay – Give Me A Chance
I gave him a chance but I’m not sure if I should give him another one.
Yuri – Into You
The only good thing about Yuri having a solo song is that after following her group for a decade I might finally be able to remember which one she is.
PDE (Pungdeng-E) – Super Market
Pungdeng-E remain squarely in nugu territory with their boring “cute” shouting and I-IV-I progressions straight out of nursery rhymes. They are all the style of Crayon Pop, but none of the substance, but having said that this is still their best ever song, weak as it is.
Berry Good – Mellow Mellow
Berry Good had that songwriter who did all those great tracks for them and who died a couple years ago, they haven’t really been able to replicate their quality post that guy. Of course because he’s someone behind the scenes and not a member of an idol group, nobody gives a fuck that he’s dead except me, the Berry Good team and maybe three other people.
Ikon – Goodbye Road
At first I thought that they stole Loona’s pink crane, but Ikon’s crane is 102 whereas Loona’s is 101. Sharing is caring.
Soyou – All Night
Some interesting rhythms can’t hide the fact that this is a GroovyRoom song and has the same problems that all of their tracks do.
Noir – Airplane Mode
I guess Noir have been reading my “boobs-harness” fashion posts during the flight.
The Rose – She’s In The Rain
Nice that they’re using the Blockberry bunker, I guess they didn’t find Kim Lip’s songwriting manual there.
Solbi ft. Maniac – Class Up
Good rhythms do not make a song.
Nu’est W – I Don’t Care
Well at least the colour-matching is nice.
BONUS SONGS
Park Ki Young – High Hits
It’s not that good… but at least it’s different? That’s something.
Park Giyong – Can’t Stop Loving You
Did these two people really sing this? Maybe they should stop.
KCM – Sad Man
He had a song last week, and I didn’t know, and I still don’t know. Also why is this T-ara drama video length.
Ashmute – Summer’s Gone
Pro tip: play at 1.25x speed and there’s a reasonable song here.
Yammo – Out Here Grindin’
Is this actually all in English? Is he really singing “out here grindin'” in the chorus? I suggest he grind some levels in English pronunciation.
Ubare – Degururu
Ugh.
Highsoul ft. KissN – I Choose To Love You
Highsoul has lost a bit of thiccness since being featured in Nugu Alert a couple years ago, but the song’s okay I suppose.
Epitone Project – First Love
More like the epitome of boring me to death project.
Park Won – Rudderless
Putting a garbage bag over my head like the guy in the video suddenly seems like a really good idea. Who says YouTube can’t influence people.
Youra – My
Nice guitar in the chorus almost saves this from being the boring shit that it is.
Baek Ji Woong – Close But Far
More like “slow but shit”.
Hitchhiker – Ah!
Whenever he’s a CGI guy Hitchhiker is always super-agile but when it’s just a person in a suit he moves like a fucking slug. Perhaps it’s really Hwasnake in there aiming for a second stab at a k-pop career and (correctly) figuring that hiding her identity is the only way anyone would let her record music ever again.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Tiffany Young – “Teach You” Beauty Breakdown ep.4
Learn how to turn your face into a scorched wasteland where nothing grows just like Tiffany.
That’s all for this week’s roundup – more next week!
KPOPALYPSE 
Yammo’s “Out Here Grindin'” is so-bad-it’s-good, and it seems to have become my newest guilty pleasure.
After you said Ashmute’s song was better in 1.25x speed I went and tried that with her other songs and, guess what, it works with all of them!
Now when I listen to them in normal speed it sounds like it’s in slow motion…