It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
Shinhwa – Kiss Me Like That
They’ve been really careful with the angles, lighting and makeup here to make sure the Shinhwa guys don’t look anywhere near as old as they are, so I hope you all appreciate it. Sure the music’s a bit plodding but let’s not give these old men a heart attack, they’re nearly as old as I am.
Alike – Summer Love
I guess now that most groups actually worth a shit are done and dusted with the awful tropical shithouse trend, it’s graduated to becoming the default setting for nugus a couple years behind music fashion.
Tropical – Mwah
So much so that nugu groups are even naming themselves after the style now. We are living in dark times.
Hitchhiker ft. Sunny, Hyoyeon, Taeyong – Time
Starts off a bit slow but soon we’re into fairly typical Hitchhiker territory, although the lack of a bass-heavy drop somewhere is concerning. What’s the bet that this is miles better than the new SNSD comeback anyway.
Baekhyun & Loco – Young
It’s kind of almost not completely boring but not really.
Jooheon – Red Carpet
You’re right – it’s not my thing. But this week is unusually shit so I’m pretty desperate.
We Girls – On Air
You know the rules, folks. If the producer is in the YouTube title, the song is almost always going to be shit.
Rothy – Burning
There’s a lot of bullshit that sounds like this, this week. Rothy’s is actually a better version than most, and if all the tropical shit was removed from it completely, would actually be a really good song.
Rothy – Lost Time
Her other song is that other crap sound that Korea does now, because following one lame trend isn’t enough, apparently.
Camila – Red Lips
Directed by Shindong? Oh what, it’s not THE Shindong? I don’t care then.
Kim Areum – Cross The Line
The song starts playing before the needle even hits the vinyl. That’s what happens when an entire generation of idiots start fetishising a thing when they don’t even know how it works.
Onsu – A Trail Of Seasons
It’s not enough that we get boring seasonal comebacks every few months, this chick wants to do all four of them at once.
NCT Dream – We Go Up
Okay yeah that chorus is a bit dumb but the hip-hop-lite vibe of the rest of it actually works.
Driveshower – Zero
These guys making really upbeat music look amazingly bored by the process.
Hara – Wild
Distinctly lacking in promised wildness.
Drug Restaurant – 403
You’ll definitely need a main course of drugs to stay awake during this.
Nu’est W – ylenoL
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Giantpink, Duckbae, K Jun, DJ Drewv, Sohlhee, Bray – AIKM Music Cypher
Unfortunately the beat is a bit crap but it picks up when Sohlhee gets her turn for some reason. Making the first 60% of the music boring is an odd creative choice but oh well.
Gree – Doves
Truly painful. Sort of like Jvcki Wai but with the melodies all cut and pasted back in random order.
Dyon Joo – #Life_Is_Pain
Oh cheer up woman.
Ovit – Right
This guy on the other hand looks way too happy for the material.
Shin Jong Yae – The Reason Why I Became A Singer
Let me guess, it was to get a negative write-up in Kpopalypse roundup? If so, it’s your lucky day!
Tune – Stranger
More of that boring acoustic strumming nowhere sound.
Leebada – Night Dream
More smooth crappy music that it’s impossible to care about in any way.
Jclef – One Hour Before The Earth’s Collapse
The weirdness of it is appreciated but that’s the only good thing about it, there’s not much of a song here sadly.
Space Boutique – Spooky Moon
Almost a good song, some more interesting harmony would have got this one over the line.
Juni – Diet
Ugh. This has been a really bad week.
Nana Mellie – Falling
Tropical shithouse at half speed now. The world is ending.
Lay – Sheep (Alan Walker relift)
Not sure why someone wanted me to cover this. I mean what can I say about Lay’s “Sheep” with a different beat on it except that it isn’t any worse than the original.
PLEDIS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING
Bumzu – I Don’t Miss You
This is what Pledis actually think you want instead of an After School or Orange Caramel comeback. Are you mad yet?
Raina – It’s Okay
No, it’s definitely not okay. Even Orange Caramel’s shitty ballad B-sides were better than this.
BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Speedpaint #125 – Eunha by Qridoodles
Have you seen the great new Qrimole header by Qridoodles yet? If not, take a look, but remember that Qridoodles doesn’t just draw T-ara! Also, did you know that Qrimole has now been officially certified by Qri herself? Now you do!
That’s all for this week – Kpopalypse roundup shall return next week!