It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup!  Let’s check out some new releases!

Loona – Favorite

The instrumental to this song is fantastic, but with twelve girls all vying for very limited space over the top, nobody shuts up for long enough for you to actually hear most of it.  And to think people complained about line distribution – what this song needed was less of your fave in the mix, not more.

Red Velvet – Power Up

It comes off a bit like the last few Twice songs mixed into a bucket and then spat out at half-speed, but those songs were mostly pretty good and the added doo-wop vibes (thanks to liberal use of the I-vi progression) actually go well with the chiptune sound and help this one over the line.

Uza ft. Lokid – Remember Everything

I can do without Lokid’s Autotuned warble but Uza makes up the shortfall just by being Uza.  I really like the long lingering camera shots on Uza herself, she is fucking cute actually.

Sixbomb – Hiccup Hiccup

My sick twisted readers will understand all the references here, in a video that is dog-whistling harder than a pet obedience class.  The only thing that’s missing from this video is a scene where somebody gets stuck in a wall between two rooms.

Brave Girls – Rollin’

Bravesound decided that the original version of the song wasn’t trendy and stupid enough, so here we go.  Brave girls indeed to put their names and faces to this trash.

Taeyeon & Melomance – Page Zero

Why is there such a fuss about this video, it’s not that big a deal, pretty much the entire music industry is gay as fuck and always has been.  A music video is literally the least risky place where one could put a bit of hot sexy LGTBIQXYZABC action.

Monsta X – Livin’ It Up

A cool swinging beat that actually has room in the mix to breathe so you can actually fucking hear it (Loona’s producers take note!) is the star of the show here.

Cherry On Top – Hi-Five

One of the most well-produced songs I’ve ever listened to from a group I’ve never heard of.  The song itself isn’t that special but it barely matters because it’s the sort of track that you can listen to for the production alone.  Recommended on headphones.

D-Crunch – Palace

All that dark moodiness can’t stop me laughing at their group name.

Kasper – Playlist

Cool sub-bass in this track right at the end when Kasper herself drops out of the mix, almost like if she was doing an interview and got bored of the questions.  Of course I wouldn’t know anything about that.

Somdef ft. Loco, Bravo – One Plus One

Just another mellow rap thing with random rap people performing at about 5% of their potential.

DIA – Woo Woo

Everyone’s asking me about plagiarism and shit but to be honest I haven’t even listened to whatever this is supposedly ripping off.  You all know what the response is probably going to be anyway.  I’m sure I’ll eventually get around to writing the same old boring crap about this when I run out of other ideas for posts.

Stray Kids – My Pace

This song tries to be about five different things at once and succeeds with about three and a half of them… which means it’s more good than bad so I guess that’s a recommendation?

BONUS SONGS

Sunday – How?

As soon as I heard the first chord of this, I predicted the next four.  Not a good sign.

Nine Muses – To. MINE

I think Nine Muses are a little bit out of touch with their fandom if they think that this kind of thing is really what they want.  They should log onto Reddit/kpopfap and enlighten themselves.

DJ Henney – Melt Away

I didn’t review DJ Henney last week because I know from experience that any artist with “DJ” in their name is never going to produce anything of worth.  Lean this, know this, understand this.

Kasper – Clouds

Kasper couldn’t even be fucked.  I’m pretty sure she sings “Dududu” in the chorus because she never got around to thinking up something better.

Dope Doug – Rodeo Star

You know when those colours come out that it’s going to be that horrible yolo thing.

E.Mel – Tomorrow

Yeah this is terrible.

12Dal – A Second

More boring Rhodes-driven shit.

Honk – Perhaps

Different doesn’t always mean good.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Momoland – Bboom Bboom – Guitar cover by Youna of Marmello

It’s worth checking out the Marmello girls’ covers of various k-pop songs because they take a fair bit of creative license with them.  I like how Youna has turned the awful trap interlude in “Bboom Bboom” into some harmonic-squeal laden downtuned nu-metal thing and sort of almost saves it.

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That’s all for this week – more new songs next week!