It’s time once again for Kpopalypse Nugu Alert! Read on as Kpopalypse brings you more nugus for your entertainment!
There are some types of posts on Kpopalypse blog which are really popular. The yearly boobs lists are always the most popular posts over a long consistent period (even if that’s largely due to them being completely misunderstood), and the roundup series has also proven to be a big reason why people visit. Kpopalypse Nugu Alert however is not one of those types of popular posts, consistently polling with the worst hit ratio of all Kpopalypse posts. Of course this doesn’t stop me from making these posts, and never will, because I do not and never will blog for popularity (I’m not), advertising clicks (no ads here), or to be liked (rest assured, no fucks given). Nevertheless, if you’ve even read this far into this preamble, you’re one of a very small minority of readers who actually care about this series, so thank you for your support!
Within the confines of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert itself there is also a “more popular” and “less popular” scale. On the “more popular” side of the scale of Nugu Alert postings is anything involving lots of skin exposure (male or female), boy and girl idol groups, as well as past nugus who have actually started to make a name for themselves. Going towards the “less popular” end are all the nugu alerts that focus on different genres that are not strictly k-pop related, and probably the least of the very least of the “least fucks given” category is reserved for those posts that I make about trot music. I’ve covered trot music in this series before, and naturally very few people gave a crap, so few in fact that half the videos I featured back then sadly don’t even exist anymore (anyone who can resource them so I can fix the broken links in those old posts, please let me know). However just because something isn’t popular doesn’t mean it’s not also awesome, so for the 1% of you readers who enjoy both Kpopalypse Nugu Alert AND trot music, this is a post just for you!
Usual Nugu Alert rules apply:
- Less than 20,000 views on official channels
- Nobody outside Korean gives a fuck
- Meets required standards for Kpopalypse coverage
Let’s take a look at some trot nugus!
Trot Girl – Come Or Go
Let’s start this post off with the less nugu selection, and it’s probably worth regular Kpopalypse readers getting to know Korean “adult” trot concept group Trotgirl even if actual trot music leaves them somewhat cold. With multiple self-made fancams on their official channel, some fairly thicc physical attributes, and a habit of playing the same venues as all those other “adult” k-pop groups, Trot Girl’s agency are clearly positioning then as a traditional-music alternative to “adult-oriented” (read: fap-friendly) k-pop girl groups such as Pocket Girls, Laysha and Bambino. While this video is clearly just a cheap choreography performance shoot, the bulk of the budget has clearly been spent on the costume design and it’s money that’s gone to a good cause as the three girls go through a dance routine that appears to fall somewhere between Girl’s Day and Moranbong Band but still looks great anyway, if maybe just a little awkward. The song itself is also fairly light on the traditional music aspect, veering toward the MBK-style hybrid trot/modern pop sound. Overall it’s decent and not too out-there, a good introduction to trot, nugus and classy (but not classy-sexy) clothing that meets required standards.
YouTube views at time of writing: 13933
Notable attribute: lucky back-dancer on the right is the only one tall enough to not be forced into wearing high heels – but she looks oddly miserable anyway
Nugu Alert Rating: average
Jeon Hae Jin – An Upright Person
Jeon Hae Jin might have a more traditional sounding song than Trot Girl, but she still turns up the Hong Jin Young style wide-eyed aegyo to eleven for “An Upright Person”. Most of the shots in the video are of her singing in the recording studio while looking incredibly pleased with herself, which must mean that she’s also a phenomenal actress, as the recording studio is often one hell of a boring and frustrating place to be. Watching Jeon Hae Jin glance around the room while singing as if the spartan dusty corners of the studio vocal booth are a fascinating kaleidoscope of colour and excitement is a fairly surreal experience but also very entertaining, because she honestly looks great while doing it, even if the excessive makeup and BB cream means that she reflects more ambient light than the soundproof glass paneling. However even if the singer’s raw visuals don’t appeal, perhaps her excellent fluid wrist motion at 0:29 and 2:49 does.
YouTube views at time of writing: 9227
Notable attribute: confirmed that the Waves API 2500 is the best DAW plug-in for trot vocal
Nugu Alert Rating: very high
Ryu Won Jeong – Father I Love You
Enough of these performance videos, it’s time for some dramatic action, and there’s nothing more dramatic in the world of drama than selca-addicted Instagram queens. Ryu Won Jeong likes to take selcas of herself every five seconds like any attractive modern girl, but quickly changes her tune when her butt-ugly father who is even older and wrinklier than Kpopalypse photobombs the party. Despite her protestations, her crusty dad is even more obsessed with being an instafaggot than she is, and he quickly starts taking photos of her while she’s Instagramming her meals like any other trollop even though he only served her basic fried noodles without even any vegetables in it. Eventually she scrolls through his phone while he’s asleep and realises that they’re just as dumb as each other and they take even more photos together and life is happy in the world of this family too busy documenting their lives to actually live them. The song isn’t bad and I hope it does well, so maybe instead of buying a new fucking phone with the proceeds of the major bank this song will hopefully make, she should get herself a music stand so she doesn’t have to put the sheet music on her bed while learning how to play songs.
YouTube views at time of writing: 1582
Notable attribute: legitimately good guitar posture and correct A and Em chords, but needs to practice left-hand finger synchronisation when moving to Am
Nugu Alert Rating: extreme
That’s all for this episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert! Kpopalypse will return with more nugus at a future date!