Kpopalypse answers: must i have a firm breast to be a kpop

Every day many people search the Internet and find themselves on Kpopalypse blog as a result.  I receive daily summaries of all Internet searches that direct people to through my website’s sneaky stats-collection machine, which tells me what the Internet is really concerned about underneath the surface.  While most of these results are predictable, sometimes a query comes through that is just so unique and compelling that I have to address it:

In this post, Kpopalypse answers the question – must i have a firm breast to be a kpop?

People may often wonder what it takes to be a kpop.  Do you need a firm breast to be a kpop?

Here are some of the girls from the group Twice.  At the time of writing this post the girls of Twice are currently a kpop.  However do they have a firm breast?  We do not know if they have a firm breast, because they are wearing clothes over their breast.

Nayeon from Twice is a kpop.  Even though there is a small part where the breast is exposed, it is hard to tell from just this small level of exposure if Nayeon from Twice has a firm breast.

Now it is even harder to tell if Nayeon has a firm breast, because Nayeon’s breast has now been wrapped softly by the photographer during editing.

Challenges like this mean that it is very hard to determine if you must have a firm breast to be a kpop.  However some kpop have made it easier.

Sulli used to be in f(x) and she was a kpop.  It was noted when she did nude sex scenes for the film “Real” that she had a firm breast.  Due to her firm breast, it is understandable that people may think that you need a firm breast to be a kpop.  However there is a problem with this theory – by the time Sulli was in this film, Sulli was no longer a kpop.

Viki who used to be in Dal Shabet was also a kpop, and she did nude sex scenes for a movie called “A Pharisee”, where it was determined that she had a firm breast.  However once again Viki was not a kpop when she did these scenes, which happened after she was a kpop.

It seems hard to determine if a female kpop has a firm breast.  However what if the question-asker wants to be a male k-pop?

This is the group 2PM.  Some of them are not wearing clothes over their breast.  You can see that they have a firm breast, or you could, if I had not wrapped it softly.  2PM are also a k-pop.

These men are from the group SHINee, who are a kpop.  They are also not wearing clothes over their breast.  If I had not wrapped it softly, you could see that they have a firm breast.

Jay Park also has a firm breast and is a kpop.  He also often does not wear clothes over his breast, making it easy to see that he has a firm breast.  However, like the Twice photographer, I have wrapped it softly.

There are many examples of a male kpop with a firm breast.  I think from the above data it is clear that if you are a man and you want to be a kpop you are likely to need a firm breast, as there may be a time when you do not wear clothes over your breast.  However if you are a woman and you want to be a kpop, I think it may not matter, as women who are a kpop do not show if they have a firm breast while they are a kpop, and if they did, someone would probably just wrap it softly.  You would only need a firm breast if you wanted to show it after you were a kpop (and even then it may be optional, as some people such as Kpopalypse may prefer a less firm breast).

Hopefully this answers your question.  Kpopalypse will return with more posts soon!

20 thoughts on “Kpopalypse answers: must i have a firm breast to be a kpop

  1. Thank you for contributing to the theory that there is strong evidence that Taemin is not one person but has three clones to form the kpop that we know as Lee Taemin and his different personas (SHINee’s Taemin, solo Taemin, backstage Taemin, real life Taemin when there are no cameras around but still someone might be recording) and keep up with all these Taemins’ inhuman schedules. There are also theories about Taemin being an alien (no need for sleep, eat or fuck and ability to dodge idol life without creating one single scandal for 10 years, unprecedented fact for a human child who entered the industry when he was only 13 years old) but the clone theory is more likely to be true. Thank you for pointing out that these four men are from SHINee but please don’t forget to precise, in the name of science ethics and the wellbeing of younger fans, that they altogether form the entity called Taemin and they all have firm breast but solo Taemin’s breast is firmer.

      • No. Taeminception (Taemin intrauterine-conception) is the name of the fancafe where a non-negligible amount of fans actively militate in favor of Taemin’s genes to be accessible to public at an affordable price on eBay. They say they want to contribute to Korea’s birth rate and catapult Taemin’s career from kpop idol to national hero. The plan is to reach 500 mini Taemins in 2022 and they promise to donate at least 20 of them to SM at birth. I can arrange an interview with the fancafe owner if you are interested but don’t tell them you support the clone theory, they believe in the supreme human. (fucking delulus)

  2. This is probably the funniest shit you have ever written. I can’t stop laughing. Good job man.

    • Very true. I have never seen a female kpop breast, and I probably will never, because the whole nation apparently believes fervently that women don’t have them. They are always, always covered. You have to go to Japan (or the us) to see nude breasts.

  3. pretty funny, especially cause I found this blog while searching jihyo’s boobs xD

  4. Pingback: Why Orange Caramel were not “K-Pop” but VERY European music – Car Door Guy's Girl

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