Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 12/3/2018

It’s Kpopalypse roundup time!   Let’s take a look at some new releases!

I couldn’t find a definition for the word “Marmello” but I reckon in some long-forgotten dialect it means “like AOA’s band concept but actually for real”.

Mamamoo – Starry Night

The pretty-decent guitar riff carries this one, everything else around it is actually pretty awful, especially as the swing-time vocals cut across the rhythm in the most stupid way possible, rhythmically this is a mess and only sounds good when they stop singing.  And yes I’m aware that the riff blatantly copies “Prayer In C“, but I’ll address that only if there’s a plagiarism accusation which goes boringly viral like Momoland’s did, but I’m sure that since I debunked the Momoland accusation so thoroughly, everyone has learned their lesson and this has absolutely no chance of happening ahem…

Heize ft. Gaeko – Jenga

When I wrote ages ago that Korea should shove this coffee-shop music up its ass, I didn’t mean the actual coffee itself.  Mind you this song isn’t too bad mainly because it seems like someone took more than five seconds writing the chords.

Minseo – The Grand Dreams

I have dreams too, I dream of upbeat songs to return to being the main focus of k-pop, if Minseo helps me with my dream maybe I’ll return the favour and try to make her popular enough that she gets to go fly somewhere one day.

Marmello – Wake Me Up

Marmello are the hottest thing ever but they still don’t quite have the songs to kick them into high gear just yet.  Too many R&B concessions take the edge off of this one.

Monogram – Space Travel

The big keyboard sounds are the real star of this song, the rest of it doesn’t quite make the journey out of Coldplay-land.

Suho & Jane Jang – Dinner

Jane Jang doesn’t sound any more interesting when she’s on SM, apparently.

Wanna One – I.P.U

The name of the song is fairly apt because having to put up with constant tropical shithouse every week does kind of feel like getting urinated on.

Ikon – Rubber Band

YG couldn’t even be fucked springing for a video for this one, it’s fairly obvious why.

Heyne – Insomnia

I always get Heyne and Heize mixed up.  Five letters, both start with H and E, both have shit songs, it’s confusing man.

Jang Moonbok – Red

This is actually really good.  Asian Junkie now has to forgive me for all the shit I give him each week because we no doubt agree on this and that makes everything else okay.  I can say anything I want to him now and he has to accept it.


Heize – Didn’t Know Me

This is a lot worse than her other song and doesn’t have the anal 20 coffee cups out the ass action which was at least funny so there’s no point to this.

Jenny Jeon – Dear You

She’s like a cartoon character, you only ever see her in profile.  Pondering this got me through the song okay.

Suzy ft. Yiruma – Midnight

Super bland beyond belief, it’s like someone saw Suzy’s face and used that for the inspiration behind what this song would actually sound like.

Sojung – Crystal Clear

I guess all the upbeat stuff goes to Loona now and the three Ladies Code members just continue to get the ballad scraps.

Suho & Jane Jang – Do You Have A Moment

No I do not.

Mamamoo – Star Wind Flower Sun

If you think the ukelele nonsense at the start is bad, just wait until the song starts.  Also quit with the unsuitable blonde hair and hippy clothes, this group now looks like Hwasa and The Dishrags.

George – Swimming Pool

A bath tub and a swimming pool are actually not the same thing.  Don’t believe this video’s lies.


K-pop In Public – Momoland – Bboom Bboom

If you’re a dancer and you want a self-confidence building exercise, try dancing to your favourite k-pop songs completely by yourself, in a high-traffic public area, in a country where nobody gives a shit about k-pop and everyone around you wonders what fucking drugs you are on.  This girl is nearly dying from sheer embarrassment of course but after a few hours of this I bet she felt pretty good about herself and it was a big confidence boost.  Kpopalypse admires this YouTuber’s high determination levels to confuse the fuck out of everyone around her while having fun.  Do it, caonimas!

That’s all for this week – Kpopalypse will return!

15 thoughts on “Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 12/3/2018

  1. I’m a bit mixed on “Starry Night”. I really like the guitar riff, but the chorus (if that’s what you even call it) is so bland. And considering how calm the song sounds, one might assume that it’s building towards a powerful finale. Sadly, that never happens.

  2. I was right when Mamamoo’s song got in the bad side of stuff, as well as almost every song in this roundup (especially Sojung’s Crystal Clear giving myself an ouch after hearing Loona’s got the upbeat songs now). I was surprised that Moon Bok and Marmello were okay, since neither really sturned me enough to interest me, but it was no doubt fine for me this week.

  3. Yeah… I live in New York City. I could probably dance in nothing but my underwear and a cowboy hat and no one would bat an eye…. oh wait. We already have a naked singing cowboy. Damn.

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