It’s time once again for Kpopalypse roundup!  Let’s check out some new releases!

Oh My Girl – Secret Garden

Obviously this is great, one of k-pop’s best “lighter-wavers”.  DDOS any sites that don’t like this.

Twice – Candy Pop

Back to Twice doing Shannon’s “Why Why” again.

Monsta X – Spotlight

Well at least someone is doing something good in Japan, although this is strictly a “big speaker” song only and won’t sound any good otherwise.

Block B – Don’t Leave

Nowadays when I watch a Block B video all I can think about is how much screentime Jaehyo gets and whether the Jaehyo fans who follow this blog will be happy.  I think they get a better deal than usual with this one.  It’s probably about the same time ratio but at least with a ballad the camera cuts are usually slow so you get a few long lingering shots.

Bolbbalgan4 – First Love

It’s a new year and Bolballgan4 are over their strange temporary affliction of knowing how to write interesting songs and are back to making utter crap again.  I feel like the balance in the universe is restored.

Infinite – Tell Me

In this music video, the Infinite members move from one doorway to the next, hoping that each new one leads to something special but they just end up being back in a room that looks exactly the same as the one they just left.  I can’t think of a more fitting analogy for this comeback or in fact roundup itself…

MXM (Brand New Boys) – Diamond Girl

… see what I mean?  You thought it would be something different but it’s really not.  Try the next door.

Dreamcatcher – Full Moon

We’re shortchanged on the video with this half-size promotional version, what the fuck, this isn’t Japan you cunts.  Anyway the song sounds like all Dreamcatcher’s other songs, which is a good thing.

V.E.I.L – 20th Century

Can we please stop inventing stupid genre names for music that is 20 years old.  You missed your chance back in the day, get over it.  I don’t even know what “Vapourwave” is supposed to be anyway, but whatever it is, it must be boring shit if this is supposedly an example.

Cheetah – Stagger

Cheetah is someone who has always had the image of going hard but never actually does, always preferring soft-ass low-quality R&B shit over actual beats.  Now she’s even given up trying to look the part.

BONUS SONGS

EXP Edition – Stress

You know they’re huge and sad k-pop fans when they’re copying k-pop boy comebacks right down to the shitty sax riffs from two years ago and horrible Engrish.  Still I can’t deny it’s an improvement on their debut.

Pristin – The Summer Night

Stop boring us with shit ballads and bring Kyla back to the group so you can be relevant again.

Taeyeon – I’m All Ears

What is this porn film pretending to be a music video.  I hope Taeyeon got paid appropriately for this.

Moodin – Different From Me

Good luck not falling asleep before the vocals even come in.

Ashmute – Ghost

This song is so nondescript that it’s barely even there at all.

Ahn Seung Hun – Pink Whale

Yay more shit ballads that are so boring I can’t even think of anything to write about them.

Jo Kwon – Lonely

Really, what is it with the ballads this week.  Come on, Korea.  Did 2017 teach you nothing.

Jang Woo Young – Going Going

And this song has bits in it that go at 2343 bpm or something, maybe JYP is playing make-it-up-to-Kpopalypse.

Wel.C – The Stain

The girl is pretty and she’s not in it enough.  I think the video director disagrees however because we barely even see her face.

Asien ft. a whole bunch of people nobody cares about – Only

It’s that stupid It G Ma sound again.

BONUS RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Ami Kim – Angel Of Death (Slayer) drum cover

Bebop’s Ayeon is good, but if you want to see Korean girls drum impressively, Ami Kim is better.  Both perform their material perfectly, but what Ami Kim lacks in Ayeon’s visual appeal she makes up for by choosing songs that are actually difficult and not shitty Black Album era Metallica ffs.  Ayeon is dismissed unless she comes back with a drum cover of Oh My Girl’s “Coloring Book” or anything off Carcass’ “Necroticism – Descanting The Insalubrious” album.

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That’s all for roundup for this week, next week more roundup and more new songs!