It’s time for more songs that Kpopalypse missed during 2017!
Wow, a LOT of you requested songs for the clearing house posts that have already been reviewed, you guys need to check past posts more. A lot of you also requested non-feature tracks, which I mostly cbf reviewing because then I’d have to be fair and review plus consider every non-feature track for the lists, and trust me I sure don’t fuckin’ have time for that! Out of the hundreds of suggestions, below are some more songs that I decided that I could actually be bothered reviewing. Any of these could potentially appear in best/worst lists etc.
Twice – Heart Shaker
I guess the good run of Twice songs couldn’t last. This is far from terrible but it’s definitely their worst Korean feature track this year, harking back to the screechy dullness they debuted with.
Jang Moonbok & Seong Hyunwoo – Don’t Be Afraid
I’m not going to say anything bad about this just in case Park Jimin is reading because she stans that Moonbok dude hardcore.
Yangpa – Trembling
I can be honest about how I don’t like this though, although I’m curious why Richard D. James is in the video.
Dumbfoundead – Kill Me
One day this guy will do a song with a decent beat and blow me the fuck away. Today isn’t that day.
Ying Yong – Scribbling
Wow, everything about this looks great, such visual style, she makes the stupidest of hip-hop clothes actually work. Song is absolute shit of course, but I almost don’t even care.
B.A.P – Hands Up
B.A.P are starting to get all “mature” on us and it just doesn’t suit them.
Soyou Ft Geeks – The Night
This is four minutes of Soyou wearing the most boob-minimising outfits possible. What a troll.
Day6 – I Like You
Too much falsetto, piano and general soppiness. Come on JYP, you were alive in the 80s, you know what rock is. Do better.
The Boyz – Boy
Even though this is only a few days old, I can’t even remember if I reviewed this in the previous clearing house post or not, that’s how generic and exactly like everything else this is.
U-Hoo – YooHoo
Kinda weird but not good weird. EDIT: ah fuck, it got deleted and now I can’t find a replacement. Oh well, trust me you’re not missing much.
Mighty Mouth – Instagram
I think I’m going to cancel my account.
Uhm Junghwa – Ending Credit
Cool backings but the melody isn’t there.
Neon Bunny – Now
Most Neon Bunny stuff really isn’t that great but it sure sounds amazing next to this.
Younha ft. pH-1 – Hello
Whenever I hear that “groove it area” or whatever that sample says, I always know I’m for some serious musical letdown.
Liah – All In
It’s an Aeria Creation so as you would expect they get the production right and the song itself oh-so-wrong.
A-MAX ft. FMT Logos – Friday Night
One of those songs that is worthless except the opportunity it gives my readers to do a video edit with all the shots of the girls and nothing else.
FMT ft. JXL – Melt In Your Mouth
The reason why M&M’s melt in your mouth and not in your hands is because they’re made from about 60% artifical food colouring.
Xia, Im Chang Jung – We Were…
This woman had Hwasnake in her video once, so fuck her.
Lee Juck – Compass
More bullshit. I hope you people who begged for clearing house post part 2 are getting some small semblance of joy out of me sifting through this crap.
Long:D ft. Doyeon – All Night
I suppose I could make the predictable joke about giving Doyeon the long D all night, but this woman isn’t attractive enough nor is the song interesting enough for me to really make it work.
EK – Splash
This beat isn’t much but at least it’s not trap or that mumble shit.
New Champ – Training Zombie
In 2017 zombies are boring and played out and so is this song.
SPECIAL BONUS RETRO SONG
BoA – The Shadow
The song is only slightly beyond average but sailor-hat BoA is peak BoA in terms of physical appearance. Someone find this hat online for me, thanks.
Thanks for reading! There will be at least one more clearing house post before the end of the year, to catch anything else I’ve missed! The next post on Kpopalypse blog will be the honourable and dishonourable mentions list for 2017! Stay safe, caonimas!