QRIMOLE Episode 14: burying your bias in the sand

It’s the return of Kpopalypse’s question and answer series, QRIMOLE!  Read on as Kpopalypse tackles more questions from readers!


You mentioned that you can’t compose a song without arranging it however I’ve seen many idols credited as composers but not as arrangers. How is that possible?

If someone is credit as a composer of a song, and there is nobody credited as the arranger, then it is generally assumed the composer arranged the song, as arranging is part of the composition process.  Having said that, be aware that songwriting credits aren’t always an accurate reflection of who did what, for various reasons.

  • In some groups there is one main songwriter but the group wants to split all the royalties equally, or between principal songwriters, therefore many members are credited with co-writing songs even though this isn’t the case in reality.  That way they get more equal royalty distribution.  This kind of “gentleman’s agreement” is common with groups on small labels where there’s not much money to go around and one person getting all the cash while the others do not can cause animosity.  A classic example of this is The Beatles where nearly everything was credited “Lennon/McCartney” despite the fact that some songs were very obviously 100% John Lennon and some were 100% Paul.
  • Another alternative is that sometimes groups split royalty depending on perceived importance of the members’ imput.  The whole group might write a song but the royalties may be divvied up depending on who wrote the parts of the song that are considered more vital to the final product.  Yes this can get murky and cause fights.
  • Sometimes it is decided for whatever reason that a certain person who was involved very minimally or even not at all should be paid for a song.  They may get their name added as a composer.  This is legal if all parties agree to it.
  • Sometimes people are removed from songwriting credits for songs that they have wrote.  In most situations this is not legal and can be challenged in court but it happens.  I wouldn’t be surprised if some k-pop labels have a contract clause that states that any songs an idol writes under the company belong to the company.

Hi Oppaarr. Sorry this isn’t the kind of QRIMOLE question you’d like (I’m sure), but I feel like I need the advice from someone who may know more about these things than my friends whose advice hasn’t helped me.
It’s not a big deal, it’s just a crush, but it’s on one of my patients. Now I’m not a doctor so I don’t have much knowledge about him, but it’s still uncomfortable enough territory that I’m trying to snap out of it. I see him on an almost weekly basis and each time I see him I seem to crush harder and harder. I’ve become a teenager again!

I realize a lot of it is my own doing. I barely speak to him and when I do it’s very topical conversations about the weather, work etc. He’s honestly a lovely man, but I keep fantasizing/day dreaming about being with him and I realized I’ve falled for the IDEA of him.

I’ve tried time and again to remind myself of how different we are (beliefs alone are wildly different), but he comes into my workplace and flashes that boyish grin at me and I go right back to square one. It doesn’t help that my coworker keeps mocking me saying “He likes talking to YOU, doesn’t he?”

How do I get out of this? I’ve tried blocking him out of my mind, talking about this with friends, reminding myself of how different we are etc etc and it ain’t working. It affects me at work too, I get shaky hands (fight or flight, you’re so unnecessary sometimes) and it affects my concentration when I see him walk in.
Ottokae oppaarrrrr?

I’m not very clear on why getting involved with this person would be bad.  Different beliefs and interests isn’t that big a deal really (my girlfriend hates k-pop, we’ve been together 7.5 years now).  But okay, assuming that for whatever reason you really don’t want to go there…

You’re the one in control.  Even though it doesn’t seem like it, you are.  It’s fine to have all those crush feelings, but the conscious part of your brain is the gatekeeper of whatever is actually going to happen (or not) with this person, and what happens is actually more important than how you feel about what happens.  Don’t try to stop yourself from feeling the way that you’re feeling.  Instead, allow yourself to feel that way, but also acknowledge that you’re the one with the mater keys and that if you consciously don’t want to do something for whatever reasons, it won’t be happening no matter how many girl-crushes you have pulling your heart in the other direction.

This year a friend became a full-blown army overnight, with a twitter where she spams 24/7 and everything. How can I open her eyes to the reality of kpop and get her to shut up about her oppars and their accomplishments, especially to me, who has been a “real” kpop fan since 2010. Does it also seem to you too that being a fan of kpop (and especially BTS) has become a fad these past years and once this goes away, the quality of music will improve? Is there any hope for my friend?
(I linked some of your articles but she refused to read them.)

It’s her life, it shouldn’t affect you if she wants to like her favourite group.  I don’t think popularity is related to music quality.  It’s not inversely related either.  Just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s good but it also doesn’t mean it isn’t good.  K-pop is a phase for many people.  Let her have her fun.  The “rational” articles by me and others will be there for later for her to discover, if she wants to read them.  I don’t write for the specific purpose of converting fangirls back to reality (although if they do come that way it’s nice), I write for the people already in reality so they know that there’s more than just fangirls!

Kpopalypse, which one you prefer:
1. Idol groups who works with many producers with very diverse taste, which somehow makes the group have no musical identity or idol groups who stick to few producers or even produce themselves but their songs sound same?
2. Groups who stick to what make them famous or groups who following trends that popular atm?
3. Live performance that sounds like idol eat their CD but choreo looks sloppy, perfect dance with lipsync, or whatever bigbang do most of time (mediocre live vocal, passable dance, but their stages are super interesting to watch)?
4. early 2010s (aka zanybros) box mvs, drama mv with passable acting, nature documentary mvs, mvs with soo many faux symbolism to troll fangirls, or sugar free mv?

  1. Second option.
  2. First option.
  3. Last option.

I have several classmates who are passive aggressive-cuntfaces. They’re still hung up about something stupid I did to MYSELF 3 months ago.They’re fucking pesky insects, and even though they’ve already been told off by our Head Of Grade, they still somehow manage to be complete fuckheads.I was put into a group with two of those bitches for a project, and as per usual,they decided to be complete immature fuckwits and started complaining in their trying- to -be-subtle -but-not- really-way.Examples include: 1.”All those other groups are good!” and then they laughed 2.When I suggested an idea, they said they didn’t care,shrugged their shoulders, and then snickered. 3.When I asked them for ideas, one girl suggested one half-heartedly and when I asked the second girl she gave the exact same idea, AND THEN THEY LAUGHED.What the actual fuck?I’m seriously thinking of spamming them with incest and beastiality threads from Tumblr, also the “Offended?” page from Encyclopedia Dramatica and then add “fuck off and stop being passive-aggressive cunts”.They might get the message then,because I already typed it out in google slides where they can see it, and they didn’t get the message at all.Fucking hell,what is the fuckery I have to deal with?Please instruct a fellow caonima on how to deal with these types of people.

It’s easy to deal with passive-aggressive people.  Just stop caring.  You only need to worry about idiots if they are actually aggressive.  All that passive-aggressive playing around the edges of caonima type stuff can just be ignored.  Don’t do the whole Tumblr/ED thing, that’s a passive-aggressive retaliation and it means that now you’re playing the game that they want you to play.  Instead be completely straightforward in your dealings with these people.  People do this bullshit to rattle you, it’s a form of bullying.  Just like physical bullies pick on what they see as weak physical targets (the skinny weird kid or whatever), these passive-aggressive bullies see you as an emotionally weak target so they’re honing in on what makes you tick mentally.  Be direct with all questions and unmoved.  Prove that you’re unshakeable and stronger than them, and they’ll either escalate, or move on.

Just for fun, musically, Dreamcatcher or Minx?

They’re the same group and the songs are about the same quality, more or less.  They’re certainly all written with pop songwriting sensibilities.  Dreamcatcher has a veneer of (mostly) metal over it but strip that back and it’s really just pop music.

I read your post about delayed k-pop comebacks, and I wondered what could be the reason behind blackpink’s delayed comebacks? They haven’t had any physical releases yet, and the members themselves have complained about the lack of comebacks. Are they already at that well-estabilished level where they don’t need as many comebacks anymore despite having just debuted? Also sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

Blackpink have had physical releases in Japan (where the physical CD market still actually matters).  I’m sure YG will do what they always do which is wait for a bit and then do a double-comeback or some other attention-getting thing.  It’s silly to be concerned about things like this.  The music will come out when it’s ready.

Is SNSD’s “Chocolate Love” about interracial or scat?

Why can’t it just be about good old-fashioned anal sex.  Why does everything have to be about race or poo-eating for you Americans, hmmm?

(Yes the person who asked this was American.)

First of all thanks for keeping QRIMOLE going, it’s always a very insightful read!
There’s a track on the new BTS album that very directly addresses fan culture. However it’s a bit satirical in tone and presents fandom as something unhealthy. This has inevitably upset some fans who feel that they’re being mocked and devalued. Do you think there’s basis in people interpreting these as straight up mocking towards their fandom? How self-aware do you think these lyrics are in reality? Would be nice to hear your thoughts (if any), seeing as the relationship between crazed fans and idols is a heavily addressed topic on this site. Here’s a link with an English translation of the song in question.

I’d say it’s exceptionally self-aware, assuming that the group members actually wrote the lyrics to the song.  I don’t know if “satirical” is really the right word to describe them, but the lyrics are definitely very deliberately putting up a mirror to the fans, and yes it does present fandom as something unhealthy, which arguably it should.  BTS would know all about that – they’d be very well aware of the craziness of their fanbase, and surely it would frustrate them from time to time (even though it’s their bread and butter, obviously) just like it would frustrate anybody.  Singing a song like this may help them reconcile within themselves some of the effect they’re having on their own audience.

Hi Kpopalypse!

I noticed a lot of Kpop songs (probably the vast majority) don’t gradually fade in volume at the end. They just end (a lot of times abruptly). Why do you think it’s commonplace for Kpop producers to avoid using master volume automation at the end of their songs?

The only promoted song I can think of right now that has such automation is Teen Top’s “Supa Luv” and I was surprised it had that.

Also, I don’t know if that’s common with Western pop songs these days because I don’t listen to pop radio stations… Thanks!

Fade-outs used to be quite common in pop music singles but it’s been less and less the case over time.  Fade-outs do occur in k-pop but they’re very unpopular.  The reason why is that it’s very difficult to convincingly lipsync to a fade-out, as nobody actually ends a song that way in a live concert.  So for a song designed to be delivered as part of a televised appearance, how do you convincingly end the song?  As soon as that volume starts fading out it’s a giveaway – “we mimed this”.  K-pop favours sharp, definite endings.  If you’ve ever seen a mimed fade-out, damn it looks silly, especially when there’s singing during the fadeout:

But even when there isn’t, when do you stop dancing?  Here the MC talks over the top of the fading song audio to try and cover the awkwardness:

A clean finish just looks more professional for TV.

1. i found it super interesting that your boob posts views always high lol.
2. i remember read it somewhere (possibly in AJ but i forget who said it and on which article) that sound mixing of BTS albums aren’t as good as other “top-tier” groups. i don’t have any knowledge about music production but i noticed that BTS songs tend to sound louder than, let’s say, EXO or Bigbang. feel free to correct me and i’d like to hear your thoughts about it.

Boobs posts are always riding high in my rankings because people actually do find boobs super interesting.  Boobs are always a huge performer stats-wise, and constitute a large percentage of k-pop related web activity.  To demonstrate, here’s the top search terms that brought people to Kpopalypse today:

And here’s the same data, for the past seven days:

This is why all the moral grandstanding that k-pop fans do is so funny to me.  They can lie all they want in public but their web searches tell me exactly what they’re really into.

As for BTS I can assure you that there is really no meaningful difference whatsoever between production values of groups coming from ANY large or medium-sized agency.

Fucking hurry up and do guitar tabs for Dreamcatcher songs before MARMELLO does it you cunt.

Honestly, if she’s going to do it there’s no reason for me to bother.  I can’t compete with that!  I’d rather watch Marmello too!  Mind you she hasn’t provided tab so I could write it out, I suppose.

Also I’m not interested in doing anything before anyone else, whether it’s a guitar tab, a story or whatever.  It’s never been something that I pursue to get “exclusives” and “breaking news” etc, the few times that’s happened it’s just fallen into my lap, I don’t go out and make any sort of effort to be the first to cover anything.  The sites that do that kind of stuff are basically trash because they don’t bother to check facts or investigate anything properly, they just rush the article out as soon as they can for maximum traffic.  I’d always rather take my time and post about something when I’m ready to post about it, when/if I feel like it.

Kpopalypse hello! i read cancerous site (re: nb) while ago, and the thought lingers on my head.

It’s about Pristin Kyla. Eventhough ppl are being such a pretentious SJW that people shouldn’t call someone minor (or any people) fat, I do think that she’s fat.

No, I don’t mean gorgeously fat like Ailee, but a true fat. As a caonima, should I give no fuck and move on? Please answer this oppar.

She ain’t that fat, looks pretty healthy to me, and I tried to find the most weight-enhancing fancam possible.  Sure, she’s fat by k-pop standards, without a doubt, but you must remember that k-pop standards are insane.  Also you have to keep in mind that the camera adds weight, this is a well-known phenomenon, so someone with the tiniest amount of tubbiness that you’d barely even notice in real life can actually look quite chubby on camera.  For those upset by her figure don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll eventually take the peer pressure from fans on board and starve herself half to death while becoming a physical and mental wreck, like every other idol ever.

Hi Kpopalypse oppar. I really love your website and I think it’s really awesome. I know what I’m about to ask you about is super strange, but I know sometimes you give people advice, and it’s always seemed like great advice to me, and I was hoping you could help me out. I haven’t been able to talk about this with anyone, I don’t even think I’ve said it out loud. So if you could censor my question, I would appreciate it. I just need some advice. Okay… I am [censored].

Now, I’m going to explain the full situation, before any judgement happens (I’m disgusting, I know).  [lots of juicy details removed that honestly weren’t that disgusting imo]

I also just wanted to thank you for making qrimole, because just writing about this and acknowledging that this is an issue has freed me so much. Thank you.

– from a loyal caonima

Many people lose sight of this fact especially in these snowflake times, but it bears paying attention to the following: feelings and actions are not the same and don’t deserve to be treated with equal levels of gravity.  It’s okay to have feelings about all sort of things if you don’t actually act on them.  I might have feelings that I want to take a shit and mail it to Johnny Noh with a note saying “I wish to apply to write for your website here’s my draft proposal”, but if I don’t actually do this in reality, was any harm actually done?  Your actions are what shape your life, not your feelings.  That doesn’t mean feelings aren’t important, but there’s no reason to let them take over, you can make a conscious choice to acknowledge your feelings but without being a slave to them.  Your conscious decisions to act (or not) is where you exercise the final option.  Tell your therapist but only if you completely trust them not to tell your family.  Don’t worry about freaking out your therapist though, therapists have already heard everything you can imagine.

Oppar, I know that you don’t really like ‘ballads’ but there must be some that you like (or at least find decent/listenable). Please list at least 10 (I won’t push it further) korean ballads that you like (if that is not to strong a word). Also, I have started listening to korean mainstream music since January (and reading your blog since April-May), I am curious about your reviewing and recommending stuff only with MVs because I have often noticed that the best song on the album isn’t always the one with the MV. Thank you and have a pleasant day/night!

Okay here’s ten I like.

Did you know the last song here even came in at #1 in a Kpopalypse favourites list?  Now you do!

The reason why I don’t tend to focus on album tracks is partly because I don’t like most of them but also because I just don’t have time to listen to every song on every album ever.  It would take too much time and resources to do that so I’d rather assume that the labels are putting their best foot forward with the features (even if they’re sometimes not… but to be honest they usually are).

hi, oppar! I’ve been lurking in your blog for the past 1 year and I’ve really enjoyed the way you write. I have a question; why the hell does Wanna One’s Burn It Up sounds so cheap? Is it because of the production? It can’t be, right? Something about that song is just off. I mean, I know it’s a crap hype song but putting that aside it just sounds so half-assed. Something about the vocals sounds raw?? I guess the most apt word to describe it is raw. (like it’s not quite there yet. It’s like an unfinished demo instead of the intended final product). This is also my reaction towards Produce 101’s Never. It sounds like a demo instead of a full-blown single. Is it just me?

It might be the instrumental choices.  I notice that “Never” in particular uses a few sounds that feel a lot like patches on a $100 Casio keyboard.  However stuff like that is by design, it’s a conscious choice to sound a little “lo-fi” rather than any kind of lack of budget or production smarts, for the same reason that grunge bands used to record with the shittiest distortion pedals on purpose to dirty up the sound in ways that wouldn’t work on a heavy metal record.

It’s not really a “cheap production”, it’s just a “the sound of a cheap instrument”.

Hello, in your article „How to support your favourite k-pop idols (without supporting their shitty agencies)” you had mentioned crowdfunding briefly. What is your opinion about crowdfunding in k-pop? Do you think it is a good thing because it give groups from smaller agencies opportunities to release music in regular intervals without the risk that they get into debt to produce an album that could be a flop? Or do you think it is not good because it just extended the time of groups which would supposed to disband, but survived just because a small group of fans would sell their own grandmothers to get a signed album? Do you think Stellar would be already disbanded without makestar and maybe do not have/had fullfilled their slave contracts till the end?

Crowdfunding in k-pop is mainly for promotional purposes.  The real long-term benefit for the company is the connection to the fans, not the amount of money received.  It costs way more to make an MV for a feature track to promote an album than what even the most successful Makestar crowdfunding campaigns (i.e Stellar) gather.  Maybe for very nugu agencies it makes a difference.  Like, if someone gave my punk friends $4000 to make an album they could do a lot with that money, it’d be a big deal for them.  K-pop agencies that can already afford to spend years training idols, they already have a larger financial base, so a few thousand dollars is not so much of an impact.  It’s not nothing, but it’s not the career-saving thing that some people wish it was, or make it out to be.  That’s why the deals on Makestar are so good.

Hello Oppar! I have two questions, if you don’t mind!
1. Do broadway and other similar stage shows use Autotune/ vocal pitch correction during their live shows?
2. In some Kpop songs the vocals sound super flat! Are they purposely written this way, or is my hearing messed up? Here’s a small list for reference:
Wonder Girl’s “Nobody
Vixx’s “Love Equation
Miss a’s “Bad Girl, Good Girl
Thank you for your time!

I’ve never seen a Broadway show so I can’t answer your first question accurately, but none of the stage shows that I have seen used it.  Mind you I’ve seen very few stage shows (at least ones that involve singing), in fact I can’t even remember the last time I saw one or what it was.

As for the second question, what you’re hearing isn’t your imagination and it’s also very deliberate.  All these songs (especially miss A) have places where the vocalists are sort of “bending up” to the note, they start the note a bit flat on purpose and then move up to the correct pitch.  It’s similar to what lead guitarists do when they bend strings.  This type of vocal style has its origins in the blues and it’s designed to make the vocals sound a bit “rawer” or “more soulful” or however you want to describe it.  Trust me, if the producers didn’t want it in there, it wouldn’t be in there.


Why we rarely see any new releases with title songs made by Brave Bros, Shinsadong Tiger, etc (aka producers who super popular and produce many hit songs for many groups few years ago)? Is it simply because unlike you, i’m not someone who check every single releases every weeks or they rarely get works these days because there are many new producers out there or/and they can’t adapt to current trends, which make groups/agencies not using their songs as much as they do back then?

Shinsadong Tiger is still writing a bunch of stuff, pretty much everything Apink has been doing lately is a Tiger production.  I’m not sure what Bravesound has been up to, trying to get Brave Girls off the ground I guess.  Both of them have a wide catalog of hits so neither probably need to constantly push out new stuff anymore.  But yes also music trends change.  I haven’t seen either of these producers attempt “tropical shithouse” for example (although I could be wrong here, I don’t keep close track of which producer does what track).


wow, i don’t expect you would answer my questions!!! thanks oppar!!!

about the useless boyfriend : ugh i wish i’m meaner so i could directly say “fuck off” to him
blackface : sometimes i think about that too, that westerners love to shove their ideology to everyone and honestly, maybe because of my upbringing, i can’t be like that.

btw, any songs that you supposed to hate but somehow you like, despite it’s from genres you hate?

I’m weirdly really liking Bolbbalgan4’s newest songs.  They finally found a way to make coffee shop bullshit music work.

why u such a bitch

cus ur such a cunt

hello my dearest oppar!
how do I escape the hivemind..?
I know that I shouldn’t give a fuck about other peoples opinions, but I’m a bit sensitive and I’m going through puberty so I sometimes can’t help but get irrationally angry at people disagreeing with me. the worst case scenario is when a big amount of people think that something I enjoy is horrible, I change my mind about it. I know its fucking retarded, thats why I’m doing my best to change. do you have any tips so that I can enjoy music I like and fap to men and women I like instead of listening to braindead cunts on the internet?
my english may be a bit bad, I’m from turkey.

Your English is fine.  Humans are social creatures (even if we don’t want to admit it and/or prefer different levels of socialisation) and so it’s often hard for them to get behind actions and thoughts that deviate from the pack.  I wouldn’t go on about the hivemind so much if it wasn’t a fairly pervasive thing that exists.  A lot of my blogging is about exploring what I like and dislike in all realms of k-pop whether that agrees with the majority or not.  It’s hard for me to relate to being annoyed about others disagreeing with me because I’m just so used to it, I learned to follow my own path from an extremely early age.

I was wondering how newly-established entertainment companies attract trainees. I saw in a drama that songwriters/producers sometimes leave the agencies they’ve been working at and take some trainees from their former agency with them, but I’m guessing that doesn’t happen a lot.

Second, could you give me ideas on what kind of lectures a (second-year) music production and engineering student would follow? While I did learn a lot about song production through your blog I can not for the life of me imagine what university- level music education looks like in practice. It’s for the novel I’m writing.

Thanks, oppar. I’m still going to credit you when the book’s finished and send you a copy if you’d be interested.

I’m not really sure but I’m pretty sure that it’s a load of bullshit and lies probably!  Melanie from ChoColat went reasonably in-depth around this.

Second year in my music tech studies at University there weren’t actually that many lectures.  There were a few, but not a lot.  Mainly it was just practical projects.  We worked with ProTools a lot (yes it was around back then) to create recordings, did a lot of work with microphones and recording, and there were also some theoretical aspects like acoustics, physiology of sound, psychoacoustics and so forth.  We also got to grips with some old synthesisers like the VCS3 and the original Moog.

If the book is k-pop related I’ll review it for this blog!

Why are line distribution videos being used so often to bash companies?  Would you consider making a post about this topic?

Because people are fuckin’ stupid.  I’ve noticed this trend too.  I’ll consider writing more about it.

Isn’t nine muses Remember also tropical house with the toot toot??

No, not really even close.  The instrumental melody that comes in through the chorus is too smooth and non-percussive to really give the same effect, it’s also not exactly up front – it’s not taking the place of a vocal melody.  Counter-melodies in choruses have always been a thing in pop music, the tropical sound is a very specific type of sound where the toot-toot is the “lead” instrument rather than a “fill” instrument.  Also the song doesn’t really have the right type of rhythm that tropical house uses.

Hi kpopalypse! Thank you for your quality content. I’m someone who works in theatre (primarily) and wants to improve my vocals (Musically. Not theatre voice projection). I have an ok voice (not trained at all) when I’m singing with someone else or an instrument but find it very hard to remember tone, pitch etc. without something else. I also don’t have that much money to go for classes. Any tips or links to improve my vocals and be a decent singer? If you do happen to answer, thanks a ton!

Believe it or not most singers can’t remember pitch either.  The vast majority of them need to sing or have some kind of “reference” to themselves before they being singing a song.  In k-pop where people are singing over backing tracks with their own (or someone else’s) voice on them, it doesn’t matter – they can use the voice on the backing track as a reference.  In theatre you don’t really have that option but you can possibly find some other way to reference your voice.  If you can memorise the sound of just one pitch that will do, because then you can use relative pitch to find everything else.  When I sing I know what the lowest note I can comfortably sing is, and I sing that to myself – now I’ve got a reference point for everything else.

Hey there, I have a question about the privacy of celebrities/kpop stars. How does that work? Are there any laws, that define where the privacy of celebrities starts and their life as a person of public interest ends? Like, how is it okay for magazines like Dispatch (or Western paparazzi) to follow and take secret pictures of celebrities? What are the rules, when is it too much? For example I dont see a difference between paparazzi and sasaengs (or however you spell that). But there is on a legal level, I think? Maybe you can explain how that works on a general level (since I doubt you are a legal expert and laws differ from country to country), maybe there is some kind of general set of inofficial rules in the industry?

Thanks and have a nice day!

Forgetting about the legal aspect of it, the general modus operandi of the music press is “maximum content but without pissing off your subject so much that they would want to call the cops on you”.  Obviously with extreme examples like Hollywood paparazzi it goes way further, but the lower-tier non-paparazzi music press is generally quite respectful as far as that goes.  They know which side their bread is buttered on so they’ll generally be cool to handle in person.  Where they’re more likely to fuck up is by writing absolute asspaper articles later on that take a shit on you after they’ve been super-nice to your face, rather than anything behaviour-wise in your personal company.

The difference between paparazzi and saesangs is that if you’re an idol paparazzi don’t actually give that much of a fuck about you.  If anything paparazzi are quite blaze and nonchalant about seeing celebrities because they see celebrities all the time.  Paps are just in it for the cash – selling the pictures and video they take to news agencies, and getting that one perfect shot of your nipple hanging out or you kissing that person you’re “officially just friends” with or whatever it is that someone might pay a premium for.  Saesangs on the other hand are definitely NOT in it for the money and in fact most of them blow very, very large chunks of money just to BE a saesang, such as paying a premium for taxis that are willing to chase idols all over Seoul etc, they’re really more into it for the closeness with the idol.  The behaviour in terms of chasing and generally being a nuisance is similar but the motivations are very different.

I really like your advice you give to your caonimas about self confidence. May I also ask you for some of your wise words? Ever since I’ve started, I haven’t gained the confidence I always dreamed of in the past. People always tell me to be more active, more confident, more out going if I want to be successful. Which I want to be but I just can’t stop being so shy in front of other people. What should I do oppar, should I let it go and enjoy my own company or gain some courage to look at other people’s face?

Confidence isn’t the same thing as being outgoing.  I’m very confident, confident enough to go on a stage in front of 500 people and look audience members dead in the eye with no stagefright whatsoever, and yet I’m not very outgoing at all.  I’m not afraid or anything like that, I just give no fucks.  I don’t tend to get involved in social conversations because I don’t like talking about insipid bullshit just to be polite, if I’ve got something that I feel is relevant to say I’ll say it but otherwise I’d usually rather just be quiet than fill up the space with noise of my talking for no reason.  That doesn’t mean I don’t like people, I just like to pick and choose the kind of interactions that I have.  I can talk all day about a subject that I think is interesting, but I don’t want to talk about the weather or pretend to be nice to someone who I dislike if I don’t have to.

That’s all for this episode of QRIMOLE!  The next episode will come by in another month, so if you have any questions, please put them in the Qrimole Question Box below!  If the box doesn’t appear, you can use the picture of Qri on the sidebar to open the question box as a separate web page.  Stay safe, caonimas!

8 thoughts on “QRIMOLE Episode 14: burying your bias in the sand

  1. The person with the passive aggressive team mates should keep a record of the team mates behavior, like precisely, I said this.specific though, this was the response, and then go to the teacher or a counselor or whoever is the appropriate person asking for advice on how to deal. Ask the advice calmly, and say, “I have never had to deal with with people acting like this in a study situation before and would like your advice as an adult.”

    Absolutely do not get into the background like how they’ve hated her for years, just stick to the study group situation. In fact, don’t even admit to knowing these girls have had a problem all these years. just stick to “they keep giving non responses and I just want to do the work.”

    • Also, to the question-asker, do not, under any circumstances,do the ghastly slides thing. If you really, desperately, want to shock them, use cute baby animals, whereupon they will be confused, and, if they complain you are distracting them (bullies will claim you are bullying them), you can sweetly say, “I was just trying to be friends so we can do our project. I just want us to work well together.” And then rattle off the times and dates and instances where they wouldn’t respond properly. Just remember, when talking to either these girls or to the teacher, stick to the facts of this project, how you’re trying to work on it, and what’s happening here in this situation, and never say anything like, “They don’t like me.” You just need this one situation to go better.

      • If you ask me that is insanely tedious and frankly, when you can’t pummel them to a bloody pulp (most of the time) Kpopalypses advise is more sound.
        Fact is in my experience with bullying involving others will just make the bullying worse, you bring a teacher in he/she won’t be able to snap their backs she will only be able to give them a slap on the wrist, if even that. But now they will be pissed.

        • They’re already pissed. And they’re interfering in her grades. And she’s tempted to lash out back. Better to keep a record of events and state the facts to an authority figure.

          Life is about doing tedious things to cover one’s own ass, I’m afraid.

  2. For the person who asked about Broadway and autotune, I can provide a bit more insight.

    The sound engineering for Broadway shows is incredibly complex. You have quite a large venue, and for each seat in the house, the sound system needs to work in a way that 1. Everyone hears the same thing and 2. It sounds like it is coming from the stage unamplified. This often means that vocals need to be boosted or corrected during live performances. Vocals can also be altered to add a certain “mood” or feeling that corresponds with the story. Pitch correction can be used in this process as well. Also, beyond that, if you decide to listen to an official cast recording (CD, etc.) of a show, everything is just as processed and corrected as you would find in pop music.

    Hope this helps!

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