POSITIVE post – Han Seo Hee

Clearly the person who left the above comment is not aware of the long-standing history of POSITIVITY on Kpopalypse blog.  It looks like certain people may need a reminder that Kpopalypse is all about POSITIVE thinking and good clean fun times, so that means it’s time for another POSITIVE post!

Is Han Seo Hee a new hero of k-pop worth stanning?  Kpopalypse says YES!  Here are all the reasons that you should welcome Han Seo Hee as the new saviour of k-pop.

Reason to stan – Han Seo Hee posts “controversial pictures”

Let’s take a look at this picture of Han Seo Hee which is apparently “controversial”.  What’s controversial about it?

Absolutely fucking nothing, that’s what.  Sure, if you’re 8 years old and haven’t worked out how to type “Asian bikini girls” into Google search yet, maybe this picture is blowing you away right now with its incredible shock value, but the rest of us folks have seen swimwear catalogues before.  If this picture is “controversial” in whatever kiddy la-la land k-pop fans live in, I’m all for more “controversy” and we should praise this girl for dragging k-pop’s snowflake element back into reality.  Of course that didn’t stop dumb k-pop websites labelling the picture as controversial anyway, but the biggest outrage about this photo if you ask me is the wasted space at the top and bottom of the image.  You could fit another five tits in there.

Reason to stan – Han Seo Hee is woke as fuck

Check out this super-reflective shit, taken from this article:

Clearly the words of a seriously erudite and woke individual.  Imagine actually trying to learn more about something that you’re interested in instead of leaving boring comments everywhere about how you know everything.

Reason to stan – Han Seo Hee cares about your health

This is Han Seo Hee showing you what brand of cigarettes she smokes.  Notice how she is holding the cigarette packet in an odd way, nobody actually holds cigarette packets like that normally, what’s the deal with that?  The fact is that she’s grabbing it from the rear so the health warning at the top of the packet is clearly visible when she holds it up to the webcam, that’s because she’s trying to get you to stop smoking.  She doesn’t want you to get suckered into smoking highly addictive tobacco like she did, especially when there’s marijuana available, which is far superior in every way.  Han Seo Hee is all about the benefits of marijuana and even got BigBang’s T.O.P hooked up one some fine-as-fuck weed to help him deal with his stressful idol lifestyle.  Marijuana is medicinal and has beneficial effects according to many reputable organisations, it can even help you stop smoking cigarettes so maybe you should stop being such a faggot bitch about “drugs” and follow Han Seo Hee’s clinically proven health advice.

Reason to stan – Han Seo Hee was kicked out of k-pop agencies for being cooler than you

Here is a picture of Han Seo Hee during her court appearance being harassed by the media, looking cool as a cucumber in a situation where most people shit their pants and whine “get that camera shit out of my face, man”.

Does she look like she gives a damn?  It would appear not.  Apparently this girl tried to get into JYP, and was also kicked out of pre-debut lineups of Gfriend and Gugudan, presumably for giving less fucks than a chastity belt.  Imagine her shooting JYP that same stare during auditions when he asked her to do the dances again.  What’s the matter Mr. Plastic Pants, didn’t you see it the first time, cunt?

Reason to stan – Han Seo Hee fucked your idols, even though she hates idols

It’s no wonder that Han Seo Hee hates idols.  Can you imagine this girl in Gfriend, sharing the same dressing room as prissy library bitches like Eunha, dressing up in all that white frilly bullshit?  It’s enough to make anyone sensible go on a rice-cake rampage.  Still, she was nice enough to throw T.O.P some vag, even though not only is he an idol but his penis is apparently smaller than the lipstick she’s holding up.

It probably didn’t even touch the sides, but even though he was definitely not a Big Bang she was still nice enough to be a sport about it and wait a few weeks before publicly mocking him.

Reason to stan – Han Seo Hee is an attention whore

Han Seo Hee is a self-confessed attention-whore, and makes no bones about it – why should she?  Being an attention whore is not only a good thing, but if you’re trying to get into the entertainment business, it just makes good sense.  Idols like Suzy, IU and G-Dragon aren’t the most successful because they have the best songs (they don’t) or are the most talented (they aren’t), they’re the most successful because they’re great at capturing attention and then turning that attention into money – in other words, “attention-whoring” in the most literal sense possible.  Of course when confronted with “are you an attention whore” these very professional idols know the drill and would probably just say something weakly deflecting and nondescript that doesn’t ruffle the sensitive feathers of crybaby k-pop fanbases, but Han Seo Hee gives too few fucks for any of that shit so she is right out there.

Reason to stan – Han Seo Hee wants to get into k-pop and could make SPUNKMOP a reality

When I have enough money I’m going to fund SPUNKMOP, my new k-pop girl group.  SPUNKMOP can stand for many things but this week it stands for “Sexually Promiscuous Under-Numerated K-pop Models Of Perfection”.  I want it to be the most caonima-filled k-pop group ever, like the Spinal Tap-esque mockumentary group C.I.V.A, except C.I.V.A are just pretending whereas my girls will actually be a bunch of cunts in reality.  They can go up onstage at award ceremonies and spit on people, tell fans to fuck off at fansignings, pull other girls’ hair and start fights on variety shows, and generally act like complete girl-trash, which will be very hot and appeal to male submissives which seems to be about 95% of the male k-pop audience judging by all the “[insert bias here] please step on me” that I see on my Twitter feed.

Han Seo Hee’s newfound celebrity status and overt caonima attitude might be just the kick my group needs to get some media attention.  Okay, so I don’t have the money to fund this group yet but then I wasn’t planning on spending much anyway, lack of funds will make the girls nice and miserable and even more eager to lash out at the media, fans and anybody else who gets in their way.  If the group members aren’t all bitches when they join, they will be a few months afterward, or I’ll kick them out for not being cunty enough and Gfriend’s agency can have them.

Reason to stan – Han Seo Hee knows about your fapping and gives good fanservice

Han Seo Hee knows that we all love a good fap session and isn’t afraid to call out you thirsty caonimas.

Guilty as charged!  Please now enjoy the full Instagram livestream of this lovely young lady courtesy of elite caonima Az5he6ch, where he has bookmarked for us the most fappable moment.

Even if my own agency misses out, I shall expect Han Seo Hee’s k-pop debut fondly.  Please support her and show her lots of love!  Kpopalypse will return with more posts soon, and don’t forget to think POSITIVE thoughts!

11 thoughts on “POSITIVE post – Han Seo Hee

    • Yeah, you’re starting to raise interest in SPUNKMOP… 🙂 We’re speculating who is in this feisty group. I think Min could hold her own with her attitude, and maybe become the first successful plump kpop star!? (Her useless Miss A contract might run out just in time for Spunkmop.) It reminds me of my own contribution, a boy group called BJA (Boys Jumping Around) because I’m so sick of seeing that, but it seems to be what girls are into…

  1. Pingback: The KPOPALYPSE article index | KPOPALYPSE

Leave a reply, cao ni ma

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s