MY GUITAR IS NOT A COSTUME

Let’s talk about Apink’s Bomi and her Saturday Night Live appearance.

You’ve mostly all seen this by now, thanks to Asian Junkie’s spectacular true trufaxual journalistically true coverage of truth.  We all know what the problem with this is too.  However nobody really wants to talk about that, so Kpopalypse is going to go where other bloggers don’t dare and spell it all out for you motherfuckers.

Of course, as we all know, Bomi is just impersonating a popular Korean character Michol from Dooly The Little Dinosaur.

We know this because Apink’s Hayoung pointed it out to us, and k-pop girls with big tits are never wrong.

Here’s the actual original clip of Michol in the Dooly cartoon.

Does that mean that this is suddenly okay?  No!  Just because something is a parody of something doesn’t make a difference of the original thing is still ignorant as fuck!  We know what the real problem is with this, don’t we?  Don’t we?  Take a close look.

Not close enough.  Let’s look closer.

Have you spotted the problem yet?  Perhaps not.  Let’s get really close so we can figure this out for once and for all.

What is that?  WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?  THAT’S NOT A PROPER FUCKING GUITAR YOU FUCKING CUNTS!

Two pickups in the neck position and nothing else?  Not even jazz faggot guitars are like this.

The Gibson ES-175, a jazz faggot guitar. Note only one neck pickup, not two.

This guitar Michol is using isn’t even a real guitar, it’s a fucking parody of a guitar!  But of course, arguably the creators of Dooly had an excuse for their ignorance – those were more ignorant times.  In the 1970s or whenever the fuck this bullshit fucking cartoon fucking shit came out, nobody gave a fuck about mocking guitar players because guitars in pop music were riding high.  This was the era of Black Sabbath, real men who played heavy metal and who had real guitars and worshipped Satan (or pretended to for photo shoots).  Nowadays it’s all changed, you can listen to pop music for miles without hearing a single guitar solo.  If it’s not constant vocals vocals vocals until you fucking puke, it’s that gay tropical shithouse sound with the toot-toot keys that has taken the spot where the mighty lead guitar once stood.  Guitar players in 2017 are an oppressed minority who are very sensitive and we shouldn’t be mocking them.

Of course Apink’s Bomi is so problematic and she doesn’t care about being culturally sensitive.  She can’t use the exact instrument that’s in the Dooly cartoon, because it doesn’t exist, but she does her best to play something which is equally as much of a cruel parody of guitar-player culture:

This is a disrespectful mockery.  You couldn’t even buy this cheap shitty Fender copy in a second hand store.  If someone even dared to sell it, it’d retail for even less than these useless Daisy Rock guitars that Girls’ Generation are playing pretending to play.

You might think that this is not a big deal, but that is just because you are NOT CULTURALLY AWARE.  The history of k-pop has shown us that, regardless of intent, the practice of pretending to play guitar really badly on shit guitars or parody guitars that may as well not exist cannot be seen as respectful and will offend people.

K-pop bitches still think it’s okay to mime on shit blow-up guitars to crappy keyboard-and-drum-machine pop music.  They don’t understand that this is mocking guitar-player culture.  It’s even worse when they pick up real guitars and strum along to music without a single note of guitar in it, and before you know it, nobody wants to play guitar anymore, because kids buy one and realise you can’t get those electronic sounds with a guitar.

Even if this false advertising was unintentional, it showed the potentially serious implications of what some regard as “just harmless fun”.  If we want to have a more harmonious society then we should stop doing these things as they are offensive and distressing to some citizens.  You can argue that it’s C O S P L A Y all you want but MY GUITAR IS NOT A COSTUME.

9 thoughts on “MY GUITAR IS NOT A COSTUME

  1. Yeah, you’re right. Intent is the only thing that matters.

    Now I’m going to go drive at 144 kmh in circles around an elementary school. It’s how I relax in the evening. It’s not like I intend to run over kindergartners, or anything, so I’m sure I’ll be fine.

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