Kpopalypse fashion class – the boobs-harness

Seoul Fashion Week has just been and gone, which means it’s time for the long-awaited return of the much-loved Kpopalypse fashion class!

By popular demand, this episode of Kpopalypse fashion class will be helping you harness the power of boobs-harnessing!

When people bring up the topic of “what is music”, I like to talk about Frank Zappa’s concept of the frame and what this means to creativity, which basically goes like this:

  • If you throw a tomato against a wall, the red splat it makes is not art, it’s just a splat against the wall.
  • However if you then put a “frame” around this splat, then the splat “becomes art” because you’ve defined where the art begins and ends.
  • A frame can exist in space or time.  Music is a “time frame” whereas a painting is a “space frame”.  A performance art piece can have both a “space” and “time” frame as it exists in both a certain time and place.
  • A frame can be defined by anybody, not just the artist.  Someone might walk into a factory and hear noise, another person might hear the rhythms as a form of music.  However this is rare, it’s easier to perceive music if there is a specified “time frame” (such as a track on a CD, or an MP3 file).

Frames aren’t just useful for conceptual purposes – they also make an optical difference to how the resulting object is perceived.  Many artistic objects benefit from the highlighting that a frame provides.

Recently I began thinking about these concepts and how they relate to boobs.  I also think boobs become more highlighted and artistic when the use of a frame is deployed.  A good frame can help define where boobs begin and end, this increases perception of boobs as art and also perception of boobs in general, which ties into a related concept relevant to Kpopalypse readers, boob fapability.  This is not just mere speculation, there is hard science around this.

Scientists agree that colours and details of form and shape can appear more vibrant and contrasting when they are surrounded by a frame, there is less confusion for the eye overall as each space is clearly defined.

The brightness levels between the frame and its surroundings also affects the colour perception of the object.  Note that all the red squares shown are the exact same shade of red.

Even without colour, the existence of the frame makes a difference to perception.  Both the gray inner boxes here are the same shade of grey, but the white frame on the right makes the grey inner box appear darker than the grey inner box surrounded by the black frame on the left.

When more less contrasting boxes are added, the apparent differences between the inner grey boxes tend to even out slightly, although the difference illusion remains to some degree.  However what definitely does not have much effect at all is the following:

The frame has little effect when it is far away from the object that it is framing.  For the most constrasting/enhanced results, a closer frame is best.

Applying these theories to boobs, the most effective boobs framing in k-pop would have the following properties:

  • Close to the boobs in question, if possible right up against them, but without obscuring any important contours
  • Contrasting properties to any boob-covering material underneath/beside the frame
  • Impact not lessened by nearby frames giving contrasting or opposed illusions

Armed with this scientific knowledge, we can now assess the fap properties of boob-harnessing within k-pop.  The upper-body harness, upper-body suspenders and/or “cage bra” has been common among goth, punk and BDSM fashion circles for quite some time, but has increasingly edged toward more mainstream popular culture with commercial music videos leading the charge.  But what is the best way to wear, accessorise and display such apparel for maximum effective boob presentation?

Subject 1: Girls’ Generation – You Think

It’s all very well being the “#1 girl group in k-pop” but if leading groups don’t also have the #1 boob presentation, they’re leaving themselves open for threats from the competition.  How robust are SNSD’s boob cages?

This particular pairing isn’t optimal.  The “straight down the middle” approach needs some reasonably big boobs to pull off, but if you’ve already got reasonably big boobs then you don’t need this kind of assistance.  There’s too much general looseness here with the straps.

Another sub-par outfit choice which is very similar – if you’re not the bustiest girl on the block, the big thick leather strap down the middle isn’t the best choice.

Sunny has bigger boobs and can get away with this sort of thing.  Also her strap width is narrower, which allows her boobs to look bigger in comparison, notice Sunny’s hand signal which denotes the maximum allowable strap width.  The video directors didn’t really make it fair on the other girls here.

This ensemble is a bit messy, again the straps have too much bulk, this actually makes the boobs seem smaller in comparison, not larger.

Hyoyeon’s boob cage has smaller straps but really doesn’t perform the intended function at all due to looseness and poor strap placement, rather than framing the boobs it’s just in the way.

The Taeyeon ensemble is a much better example of what the less busty girls should have received from costuming.  A smaller vertical mid-section and some diagonal lines right on the boob gives more enhancement.

Subject 2: WJSN (Cosmic Girls) – Catch Me

In this video, and most of the others, every girl wears the same boob cage, in this case the “pentagram” style which is always a goth favourite.  Of course as we learned earlier, contrast is reduced if you have many objects that all look the same, so as a result, only Cheng Xiao looks busty

The MV version isn’t optimal because of the black-on-black.  Contrast is key – at least SNSD’s straps were kinda leathery whereas these are more matte so they don’t stand out as much from the fabric of the tops.

WJSN had better live choices here, with either glittery straps on a black background, or black straps on a white background.  Like with SNSD, the costume designers for WJSN have chosen to give the biggest-boobed member the most boob-enhancing choices, in this case the black straps over the plain white top.  However in the real world, the reverse of this is what you’re aiming for – if you’re not that busty, you want the white top with the black straps, to level the playing field.

Subject 3: Sistar – Shake It

You could be forgiven for not noticing, but Sistar’s “Shake It” definitely utilised the boobs-harness.

If a tits-harness was used, but the full structure of the straps and curvature of the boob is not perceptible, could it be said that any enhancement resulted?  A boob cage and this type of cutoff top doesn’t really work well together in this way, as Soyou is wearing them in the wrong order (the straps should go over clothing), but Soyou is pretty busty anyway so she can still rock it.  Bora’s outfit is more enhancing, with skinnier straps that flatten the outfit and enhance volume.  As a result both girls look similarly busty even though in reality Soyou has far more volume.

Subject 4: Pocket Girls – Bbang Bbang

As a “race-queen” group specifically geared towards adult male audiences, Pocket Girls were never shy about bust enhancement.

There are two versions of the boobs-harness which are favoured by Pocket Girls.  One is the red ensemble above which is similar to WJSN’s look but integrated with the two-tone bra.  The other version is one which they frequently use on live stages:

Both iterations are very effective boob enhancers, which carefully frame the girls’ assets while not obstructing important details in any way.  This is currently the gold standard for boobs-harness application.

Subject 5: IOI – Whatta Man

It’s basically impossible to discuss the boobs-harness and IOI for the following reasons:

  • The editing is so painfully fast that there’s just no focusing on anything
  • The lycra/leather gear is black and shiny, and so are the straps, leading to much retinal confusement
  • These girls are just a little too young for this fucking shit

Girls, while following Kpopalypse’s boobs-enhancement tips is highly recommended, make sure you’re of an age where you can fully legally benefit from any positive outcome.

Subject 6: Wanna.B – Hands Up

IOI’s outfits do raise an interesting question however, which is this – rather than having a boobs-harness, could you potentially incorporate the boobs-harness and the material used for it into the entire outfit?

Wanna.B’s costume designers seem to think so.  It’s hard to argue… especially with law enforcement.

Subject 7: miss A – Good Bye Baby

Never mind the MV, here’s a live version which is boobs-harness friendly:

I found this live footage thanks to a caonima who contributed the following photo of miss A:

Jia definitely has the best application of the boobs-harness.  Min has the worst, but then Min doesn’t really need the help.  Suzy doesn’t really have anything to enhance, and Fei’s is too busy in the wrong areas and just in the way.

Subject 8: f(x) – Rum Pum Pum Pum

Sulli rocks a minimalist version of the boob cage in this video from back when she was making f(x) relevant.  It doesn’t actually go anywhere near her quite small boobs but this actually has the effect of increasing their apparent size just because it’s adding more material to the upper body section without getting in the way of anything.  The white writing on the t-shirt also helps.

An observant caonima also pointed out to me that Victoria used another different type of boob cage for certain f(x) live performances.

Although there is some enhancement here, the cut of the straps which tie high across the back just looks strange to me.

A different caonima also noticed f(x) and provided this image:

Victoria is definitely rocking the best boob presentation here.  Luna’s is too loose to be effective and Krystal’s is too busy much like Hyoyeon in the SNSD example earlier.  Note that Amber’s boobs-harness sits quite low, more in keeping with the male version of this type of apparel, which brings us to:

BONUS GENDER EQUALITY SEGMENT

Never let it be said that Kpopalypse doesn’t consider the needs of all his readers.  I know that some of you readers like fapping to sinewy man-flesh, and some of you men also may wish to know how to dress with the harness for fap purposes.  I don’t really know what it is that people who fap to guys really look for, but I can still give you some examples and you can decide for yourselves how effective they are.

EXO – Growl

EXO seem to be wearing their harnesses with the horizontal part lower down.  For the ladies this part resides just under the boob, whereas the more masculine version seems to be just below the solar plexus.  I’m not sure what this means but I thought it was worth noting.

Key (SHINee)

I’m not sure what this is supposed to enhance or how this is even supposed to work, but it’s here and it’s a thing.

Yunho (TVXQ)

I’ll leave you with this – a different type of harness!  Hopefully you’ve enjoyed and/or learned something from this post, Kpopaypse will return with more posts soon!

3 thoughts on “Kpopalypse fashion class – the boobs-harness

Leave a reply, cao ni ma

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s