In this post is all the results of the Kpopalypse 2017 survey of important trufax! Yay!
668 brave caonimas did the survey this time, which is great to see. Your answers are below.
Question 1: Hi! How are you? Answer in as much or as little detail as applicable.
Most of you were great. Some, not so much. Some responses to selected questions:
A bit indecisive: In three months, I’ll be choosing a university to attend for the next 4 years and I had already decided which one way before people started shitting on my own decisions. Yes, it’s a private school and yes, I can afford it: what a big surprise. But all this “tsk, your family will suffer, tsk” talk makes me sad because I don’t want to attend this university because I’m a rich iljin thug, it’s just…I want the best thing for myself. Also, my uni-test results are mediocre so don’t really know what to do about them. Honest answer please: buy my way in or work harder?
Why not do both? Some universities pretty much let you buy the entire degree, so do your research beforehand to find out:
- How hard the coursework is, can you hack it
- How much money you have and where that will get you
Don’t feel bad about going the monetary route if you have to – universities need funding!
I think I may have the flu. Also my master’s thesis is due this year and I can’t bring myself to accept I have nothing but a lifetime of work ahead of me. You know who creative teams hate? Executive account managers? You know who clients hate? Account managers. Everything is awful. What if Infinite disbands?
How are you? Is the glow from being proved right about Hwayoung still keeping you fresh?
Work is good though, it has many benefits, don’t be scared. I’m good! Yes!
I am quite good. I just finished a workout and am now just listening to some relaxing music. I think I’ll do some reading after this survey. I think this is an ideal way to spend a Saturday (at least for me). How would you describe your perfect Saturday?
Not editing a million survey questions – but then I have high determination levels so it’s okay.
Pretty good, I guess. I have a job and a roof over my head even though someone in my sharehouse of six keeps stealing my milk, microwave dinners, chocolate and motherfucking lentils. I want to move out but if only rents in Sydney aren’t astronomical. I watch Kpop to remind myself that most of these idols are having it worse, but they still look, perform and entertain incredibly well, so it morbidly inspires me to shut up and work hard too. At least I’m not passing out from exhaustion? How are you? Are you well? What’s your favourite food? A bit of elaboration for Q2: I’m always super triggered because it makes me reflect about where I was in life the last time I took your damn survey. It’s like my birthday.
Good. Yes! Chocolate.
Honestly I feel so shitty. My finals are in about a month and I’m taking a pretty rigorous course-at least for highschool-and I already fucked up a couple of internal assessments that’ll pretty significantly impact my overall grade so I really need to do well in these exams. But I just don’t feel stress at all. In fact I feel tired and drained. There aren’t even any good things to procrastinate on that particularly distract, I just don’t want to be productive. On top of that I’m also having self-esteem problems which I feel like is leading to an eating disorder but I dont know how to stop. Man I just feel like shit. Actually answering this question actually makes me feel better. Thank for that you that you cynical piece of shit. Please hit me with some hard facts so that I can get my shit together. All the best for the rest of the year xoxo
Kpopalypse loves all caonimas. Society is designed to degrade your self-esteem just enough so you can function and be a good consumer without rocking the boat (“if you feel like shit maybe you’ll buy our products to feel better”), but not too much so you start getting fucked up (and stop buying things). The powers that be don’t always get that balance right. Lots of mixed messages out there. Watch less TV, preferably none, unplug yourself from any media that isn’t directly enhancing the quality of your life. Self-worth comes from self-definition which is formed by the resistance to constructed media archetypes and other pressures generated through lived experience.
i’m enjoying basedtzuyu’s (a “hobbyist composer”) thread on how pristin’s debut song lacks guidance. Is there such a thing as a “post-chorus”? The Kpopalypse guide to song structure says no!
Correct, that’s a no. There’s something called a “coda” but that’s not quite the same thing.
Ambivalent–I got into one of the the top ten (internationally) schools for my area of study…but my area of study is art so I already feel like a failure.
It’s your standards that matter, not others. Never mind labels, what does being in the school mean for YOU?
Hi kpopalypse, i am trying to lose ALOT of weight. Do you have any experience or motivation to share?
I’ve gained and then lost a fair bit of weight recently. What I’ve noticed: diet makes more difference than exercise. Exercise will make you feel better and has tons of benefits but it also makes you eat more, it’s changing your diet that will really lose the weight. Walking is surprisingly good exercise for weight loss, try to walk an hour a day. Quit soft drink completely, remember sugar-free/zero drinks are still fattening. Cut back on carbs and sugar. Don’t do gastric banding. Don’t starve yourself, allow occasional indulgences, just not more than a couple times a week. Everything in moderation – including moderation. Most of all don’t worry about how others perceive you, lose weight (or not) for your own reasons, not for others’ reasons.
I’m fucking stressed to be honest. Trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life after college is just freaking me the hell out.
Get a job > get a better job > repeat
awful actually. i realised im not motivated to do anything, i fail at almost everything i attempt to do. the only thing stopping me from blowing my brain out is the fact that my family and a handful of people i call friends would be devastated.
Don’t do it! We’ll all die eventually anyway, there’s no rush to get there. Also see a doctor and get a blood test, get your vitamin levels checked.
Overally fine, but I’m having some minor disputes with my partner, we are young and inmature so most of the time we get angry about silly things. This arguments make me think about how to improve myself regarding relationships and the social life in general so I’m going to take advantage of this simple question (what little caonima I am) and ask if you have any advise/tips you want to share about how to be charismatic. Aside from that I want to thank you for the blogging, especially the insights you make into the industry, I hope you are doing well too.
I don’t know how charismatic I am so it’s hard to say if my advice would be any use but I think you already know the answer to this. Disregard the small stuff. A relationship is controlled by the person who cares about it the least so try being a bit “hands-off” with your partner’s behaviour and see if you notice any change.
I’m great, but slightly terrified. I’ve been seeing lots of big spiders lately and it’s not even that hot outside yet. I live in Texas and when it’s hot and humid (which is most of the year) the spiders come out in full force and I want to die because I’m deathly afraid of them. I’m just curious to know how you manage to live in Australia without being scared out of your mind at every second of the day?
After your 57th massive spider crawls up the wall you kinda get over it.
Okay I guess? You really do always seem to have these around exam time because I have my year 12 half yearlies in a week. Normally I’m a crying suicidal ugly mess during exams but I’m doing a lot better this year. Most of that is because I finally got diagnosed with the chronic disease which is the cause of my extreme fatigue and general shitty health. I used think all the head staff at my school were absolute cunts but they were really accomodating and helpful with my situation which has helped me immensely. Also the fact that I’ve finally got my shit together for school. By the way I’m not sure if you remember but I’m the person in QRIMOLE 4 who asked about how to deal with a teacher who was sucking their ass and felt annoying in class and it actually turned out a lot better than I thought it would. Everyone pretty much loves me now because I’m helping them to pass this shitfest of a class by giving them my notes and practice essays. I hope everything’s going well for you!
It is! Glad to hear things are working out!
kind of stressed i guess? i started working two jobs about a month ago & i can’t really remember why. i really don’t like working two different places! i would quit one of them except A) i haven’t been at either place very long & B) the place that gives me more hours doesn’t pay me nearly as well as the place that gives me not that many hours. i don’t ~need~ two jobs but quitting either doesn’t make much sense to me. so overall … i think i’m just overworked … i hope you’ve been healthy & not too stressed!
I’ve been in your shoes before, recently. Stick with both jobs and do your best, good odds eventually one will take off and you can wind down your participation in the other.
I have a friend who is a complete cunt nugget asshole. This person is an actual cancer tumor. They’re incredibly rude to me all the fucking time (but still thinks we’re friends??? bitch you’re a cunt fuck off) and they are one of those tumblr people who is a ~special fucking snowflake~. This person said they were transitioning to being a male (which I have no problem with) and had a crush on some ugly skater guy. The ugly skater guy doesn’t know that they’re trans. They start dating and my friend is like “oh hey haha don’t tell my boyfriend i’m trans lol and i’m like BITCH” and they can’t seem to make a fucking decision on their gender or nonbinary or whatever. that part really isn’t the issue it’s just that they think they’re gonna go to the HARDEST TO GET INTO SCHOOLS IN THE USA BECAUSE OF A FUCKING SOB STORY. I’M FUCKING SORRY BUT THAT AIN’T GONNA CUT IT!!! like legit they have gotten shit grades in their classes and is fucking delusional enough to think they’ll go there. Ugh living in New York is fucking shitty man. Sorry for the rant anyways I like your blog and I swear if I trigger anyone reading this I’m deeply deeply sorry but this person is just so so so annoying
I don’t have anything to add other than I enjoyed reading this response and I hope you have less dickheads in your life soon.
My boobs look really awesome today. So, pretty much a good day, I’d say.
Honestly, not too great, mate. I have autism – not Asperger’s level, like whole, full fat autism – and a couple of months ago I had a nervous breakdown, and haven’t worked since. I’ve only just started speaking again, and still blank out multiple times a day.
I’m too autistic to consistently interact with people, but not autistic enough for that not to bother me. Even though I despise communication, a part of me compels and longs for me to; even though I want to be the centre of attention, a part of me cannot handle it, and I eventually crumble. (I would give you some true stories of what opportunities this has cost me, but some are genuinely so unbelievable that you’d think I was lying.)
I have spent my whole life trying to work out in what ways I am like other people, and in what ways I am not, but I can’t. I am deeply envious of people who don’t need to think about this, and at times it takes every fibre of my being not to let it breed resentment. After all, we all know what happens when resentful autistic people snap.
The worst thing is that nobody can help me. I have three counsellors and five psychiatrists in my life: they have all started their first session happy to see me, and have become gradually more concerned as I describe myself to them, and answer their questions. After a few sessions, they all quit. I’ve had my first session with a specialist neuropsychologist, and she’s reacted in exactly the same way.
My condition has been the only thing in my whole life that has made me cry; the only real emotions I can feel are anger and sadness. A few years ago – upon realising how screwed I was in the long term – I set myself three goals: that, no matter what happens, I wouldn’t end up in prison, a psych ward, or dead by my own hand. As time goes on, however, I’m genuinely not sure that I can meet them.
I’m not a mental health pro or anything like that, but all I’ll say is this. I’m not autistic or anything (as far as I know?) but I definitely had similar feelings growing up of feeling very different and outcast. I knew that I was different to others because I was always a bully target but I was unsure of what it was that made me this way. There was definitely a point of difference that was objective in some way, because people who didn’t even know each other would outcast me immediately, they were picking up on something but I couldn’t figure it out. Eventually I gave up – “fuck it, nobody will accept me, but I’ll accept me, so let’s run with that”. Through my own self-acceptance (eventually) I gained confidence and many less fucks were given by me about the concerns of others, I eventually then received more acceptance from others (seems paradoxical but it isn’t) but it took a long time to get comfortable with it. Not saying your situation is the same, in fact I don’t know what my point is really. I hope my stupid writing gives you some happiness. Nugu Alert isn’t going anywhere FYI. Good luck in life and don’t sweat the people who don’t appreciate you, it’s not worth your time. Your time has a value, use it doing things you have to when you must, and things you enjoy when you can.
okay i guess. i busted my arm hanging out with my str8 guy crush yesterday because i am dumb and want a closer friendship with him even though i obviously wish i could have more than that. i just figure i’d rather have that than nothing at all. meh. my arm can deal with it. what would you do?
also eurovision season is on and i wish you followed to shit on all 43 songs because it would be funny
I’d cut the guy loose, there are other fish in the sea. I’ll never cover Eurovision unless I can think up a k-pop related excuse but I guarantee you that there’s some snarky bastard like me out there that is. Don’t ask me who though.
Wish guys that like me would tell me. I’ve always been the one to make the first move since I feel like I should just be honest about things but now I wonder if the guys who don’t even have the courage to make the first move are even worth the time. Will I be single for lyfe kpopalypse oppa??
No, but guys are way worse at detecting “does this person like me” than girls, on average. If you’re not willing to choose from among the jerks, then you’re limiting yourself to choosing from among the jerks who choose you.
I’ve been very empty lately, I feel as if my life is meaningless and monotonous. Nothing really seems to interest me that much anymore and I lack the motivation to do most things. Is there a change I should make in my life, or should I just accept that I will feel this way until it’s over?
Exercise. It’s the last thing you’ll feel like doing right now, but force yourself to do some. Also talk to someone irl about this.
Oppa, if you put this up please delete as much as you think will be necessary to make it anonymous. [Deleted all of it.] Any pearls of wisdom to get me through this?
Keep applying for work as opportunities arise – you already have a job so there’s no urgency here. Don’t feel responsible for the guy, he surely knew your likely reaction. His unfortunate health situation doesn’t mean that his offer wasn’t unreasonable, I don’t think very many people would take that offer in that circumstance. He’s quiet probably because he feels ashamed to have put forward such a manipulative proposal. Don’t make a big thing of it, just be friendly and move on. Don’t be surprised if you get an apology later.
Usually I answer “I’m fine, thanks and you?” but unfortunately I’m not very good. Yesterday my beautiful wandering cat, Rama, came home with half of his face covered in blood and pus (I said wandering, but he’s the son of my first cat, Kyra, and only in these last years he decided he hated the other cats and bolted. Now he comes back to eat and have same cuddle time with me). While freaking out like a banshee and bawling my eyes out (I’m almost useless in these kind of situations) we got to put him into the carrier (a miracle, because he hates everyone and sometimes he barely tolerates even me). My veterinarian wasn’t answering his damn phone so we brought him to my friend’s veterinarian and the guy told us that it was an abscess due to a wound from a fight or a fall. It worsened and the infection (and pus) was corroding the area.
Thankfully they medicated him but now comes the difficult part: we have to keep him inside the house for 12 days, disinfect the area twice a day, theoretically bandage him after every application and feed him the antibiotic. The task is almost impossible: he lives outside and now he is forced into an extremely small terrace (surrounded with mosquito net so he cannot jump out and fully furnished for a cat) and he’s going crazy meowing and climbing the net. Meanwhile I’m at loss thinking how will I bandage him. He’s not going to like it at all, it would be a stroke of luck if I could just disinfect the area without being scratched to death.
This alone would be disheartening, but the most distressing part for me is the fact that my parents have been pretty uncooperative. They think it’s too troublesome, and they don’t want to take care of him for all that time. Of course they are helping, I’m not saying that they are not doing anything, and I know that partially they are against it out of concern for me because Rama cannot be trusted, but I’m fighting every moment for something that I find being basic human decency. I tried to explain that the antibiotic is not going to work if he stop taking it and that if we let him go we would be back to square one (or worse).
I’m talking with my friends, and they are very supportive, but I’m emotionally and physically spent and I feel quite alone. I’m sad, stressed, discouraged and scared. I’m dreading tomorrow, I don’t know if I can do it. What if Rama escape? What if I’m not capable of treating him? What if the wounds don’t improve? Hell, I don’t even know if I can cut the bandages that he has now without stabbing one of us (or both)! I know I’m just being paranoid and pessimistic but all these thoughts keep spinning inside my head and now I even heard my father saying to my mother (thinking I wasn’t listening) that we should have suppressed him (for an abscess!). Wow, the burden of taking care of a cat for 12 days. I’m scared that they are going to do something behind my back, what the fuck should I do? (beside an eventual curt complaint against my father, no problem about it).
I was so happy to see your survey. I love your writings and apart for the fun of answering your questions I usually use the blank text boxes to write you everything that comes to my mind, like an open letter. I’m sorry it was super depressing this time. I hope you, your family, your girlfriend and Stiglitz are ok.
Btw, I probably made a lot of grammar mistakes, sorry in advance.
Cats in their current form aren’t really “natural” creatures that belong in the wild, they’ve been conditioned through thousands of years of selective breeding to live in close proximity with humans, not other cats and wildlife. That’s why keeping cats indoors is often best. Of course if your cat is always an “outdoor cat” it’s going to struggle with adjusting. Hopefully by the time you read this the problem has resolved somewhat. Health problems with pets can be really stressful. Your vet should be able to help give you tips on how to “cat-wrangle”, there’s various strategies you can use to get them to take antibiotics etc, also look online for tips, there’s some good videos about this. Good luck.
My lower back hurts. It started last week when I was getting ready to go home from work, and I was in a crouched position and felt a sharp pain near where my tramp stamp would be if I had one. I never felt anything like that before. I took some pills and laid on a heat pack that night and the pain was 95% gone two days later. Now it’s back, but not as hurtful as when I first got it. I’m lying on my heat pack now. It’s soft and warm. I can pretend it’s the arm of my bias and he’s signaling he wants to do naughty things to me…where was I? Oh yeah, back pain. So, should I see a doctor? Am I finally old?
See a physio, not a chiropractor. Chiros are fucking dodgy af.
Fine. Little bit heartbroken cuz I try to reconnect with my ex and it’s difficult.
Don’t bother, cut them loose.
The right question is: why the fuck does this question always comes up?
To annoy you.
Hi, i just got home tired and it’s half to midnight and found out i will have no electricity for the night because the meter is broken or something. So i’m taking this quiz by actual candlelight. Very romantic don’t you think.
Right now I am very preocupied with a project in java programming I have to make for passing my third year of high school… but of course I made a break to answer this survey. I have no fucking idea how to make the project anyways and will probably have to re-do the year. I used all of your studying tips though but the logic for programming just goes above my head everytime.
You get to do Java programming in school? Hearing about stuff like this makes me realise how shit my school was. Study hard on that shit, unlike every single thing I learned in school Java is useful. Did you know 4 billion devices run Java?
I have an itchy bleeding butthole. Do you think its from the anal sex i had yesterday night with 5 korean guys??
No, five dicks up your ass should actually scratch the itch quite well I would have thought. You probably just have a haemorrhoid.
I though I was ok but then I heard the news about my 3rd favourite group possibly disbanding after one last comeback. Can you please talk some sense into your Mom?
I did and she said to trust her. She has it under control.
Question 2: How triggered are you that every bi-yearly Kpopalypse survey starts with the same question, which is always mandatory?
Most readers were able to keep a cool head in the face of highly triggering content! Congratulations!
Question 3: How often do you read Kpopalypse blog?
The majority of readers roughly synchronise their reading with the post frequency of the site, which makes sense.
Question 4: How long have you been a reader of Kpopalypse blog?
Most readers were newer which was expected. Kpopalypse blog only received 50 hits for the entirety of the small portion of 2012 when it was active, so it’s good to see that I’ve still got most of those readers!
Question 5: How much oppression of women and minorities would you like to see on Kpopalypse blog?
This question was complex so I’ll split the results to give a clear picture of how different people felt about this important issue.
About two-thirds of Kpopalypse blog readers are either women or minorities, or both. That’s a lot of people being oppressed! Women and minorities answered the question very marginally in favour of MORE oppression:
People who were neither female nor a minority answered much more in favour of MORE oppression, but still mostly felt that current oppression levels met required standards:
Kpopalypse blog will work to continue to meet required standards!
Question 6: What was the most notable attribute of the above video?
Results were close, but many people wondered about why someone would bother to film a performance on their shitty phone instead of just enjoying the performance itself (or not), when there are massively expensive TV studio cameras also filming the same performance in far better quality. Not many were all that concerned about the vocalfags staring like twits because we’ve all seen them do that shit before a million times.
Question 7: Who is more “classy sexy”?
Iron beat out hot competition from some of the most classy-sexy gents in k-pop to come out on top for this question.
Question 8: What is your level of musical theory knowledge?
About 25% of Kpopalypse readers are deaf, which probably doesn’t surprise anybody.
Question 9: Who should be the next Kpopalypse “no reason” sidebar girl?
Thanks for all your responses to this question! I won’t reveal any answers as I feel that people will have more fun guessing who I might pick, but your data will be stored and saved for later use! In the meantime enjoy this short documentary snippet about Sorn from CLC! Who could have guessed in 2013 that she was destined for exalted “no reason” sidebar girl status?
Question 10: Will T-ara really break up after their May 2017 comeback?
Actually, “ask them, not me” turned out to be the correct answer to this one, as someone did exactly this during a fanmeet shortly after this question was posted, and Boram replied that the girls intend to stay with T-ara but split from MBK. Trufax.
Question 11: In the above picture of snakes, which venomous Australian snake most closely resembles Hwayoung?
I expected completely even results, but it was not the case! Not only were Kpopalypse readers certain that Hwayoung is a venomous snake, they seemed to have a pretty good idea of exactly which type.
Question 12: Did you already know that question 10 was going to be about Hwayoung before you read it, just because of the snake pictures?
Kpopalypse readers showed their caonima perceptive talents yet again! Most readers knew what was up with the snakes before the question was even asked. A few of you noticed that I got the question number wrong, I meant question 11.
Question 13: Would you recommend Kpopalypse blog to a friend?
Thank you to all readers who are recommending Kpopalypse blog, whether it be to friends or others!
Question 14: On a scale of 0 to 10, with 10 being “all the time” and 0 being “fuck you bitch”, how often do you agree with Kpopalypse’s opinions of k-pop songs in roundup posts and year-end lists?
I don’t completely understand the maths-nerd results above, but it’s clear enough that the average score for this was around 6/10, not that it really matters of course – agreeing with Roundup is hardly the point of why it exists. It’s good to see readers enjoying the posts though!
Question 15: What’s up with Korean rap guys? Why are they so fucktarded?
As people known for their rationality, it was unsurprising that very few readers were labouring under the delusion that Korean rappers are actually people of any worth.
Question 16: Which Umji Dickinson album is best?
I think there may have been some confusion here as I’m not sure if everybody answering this question realised that “LOL” was actually a real Gfriend album and not me just giving you the option to laugh at this question instead of answering it properly. Nevertheless I was impressed with the quality picks here, although I was a little concerned about the lack of love for “Piece Of Mind”.
Question 17: Write a great k-pop themed fanfiction idea here, for Kpopalypse to shamefully rip off without crediting you, in 5 words or less.
Below is all the answers that featured the common death adder, Hwayoung. The rest I’ll save for later use. Thanks for your contribution!
Some dramatic shit about Hwayoung’s Scandal / hwayoung dies the end / Twin Snake Trilogy / Hwayoung and the snakes / KKS and Hwayoung’s real story / hwayoung rises from the ashes and tries to snatch dia’s wig / a fateful meeting between breath mint hwayoung and shampoo hwayoung / hwayoung never leaves T-ara / something about hwayoung / Never trust people named Hwayoung / Metal Gear Hwayoung: Snake Eater / Kpopalypse selected as Hwayoungs judge / alternate au t-ara is bully hwayoung is victim but media and nb says other way around / Do Foxes Eat Snakes / Hwayoung, Strap-On, BTS / Put my Snake in hwayoung / hisssss / T-ara “scandal”, but Chosun era / Hwayoung in a zoo / hwayoung gets snaked back / Cyclops Jiyeon against snake Hwayoung / A shampoo for snake hair / hwayoung x pit of snakes / T-ara hater meets Hwayoung’s hairdresser / Taeyeon.Hwayoung Battle for the Queen of Snakes / Snakes on a Plane, feat. Hwayoung / snakes of kpop / An Animorphs, Hwayoung into snake / Hwayoung and the snake / Hwayoung is secretly Kim Jong Un / Punishment for hwayoung? / Hwayoung dies in a fire / Hwayoung shit her pants / T-ara game show featuring Hwayoung the loser and Kpopalypse the winner / hwayoung fucks t-ara with shampoo / Hwayoung the 13th / Snake twins fate like Auryn / Snakes live in SanE’s ass. / Hwayoung and her 6 little vitctims / Hwayoung being nice to people / Hwayoung goes to the zoo / Hyoyoung vs Way’s Girls / Hwayoung & Tiffany sing a Duet / Kimchi sneaky bitch vs Hwayoungs / Common brown snake penetration Hwayoung / Hwayoung is literally a snake / who cares, snake should choke
Question 18: When discussing k-pop. is it ever okay to say the word “talent”?
Everybody knows that you can’t say the T-word without causing great offence, but Kpopalypse readers are a bunch of caonimas and clearly don’t care about your feelings.
Question 19: Who is this group?
Gosh it’s been a while since BESTie have done anything but at least they’re all looking good. Kpopalypse readers were quick to appreciate their charms.
Question 20: Would you buy official Kpopalypse merchandise?
Most people admitted that they wouldn’t buy Kpopalypse merchandise but still liked the idea of it for troll timez. I’m not sure if that’s a compelling enough reason for me to whip a bunch of people in a Chinese factory to make environment-raping hats and mugs with my name on them for 2c each but the thought is nice!
Question 21: Trufax – did you know that if you comment on a Kpopalypse post and that post has a link to anything in it, or anything other than text, the comment is usually automatically binned?
The reason for this policy, by the way, is that because as Kpopalypse is all about giving you more content, my posts are already pretty lag-heavy on slower devices due to their sheer size. As a result, any extra weight on the pages such as comments that contained GIFs, videos and links would be enough to push many people’s machines into the grave.
Question 22: Rank how you are enjoying the following Kpopalypse series.
I was curious to see how obviously unpopular content such as Kpopalypse Nugu Alert and Kpopalypse dreams ranked alongside newer content. I don’t blog for popularity so you can expect ALL of these series to continue until such time as I can’t be fucked doing them anymore, but it’s always good to know which types of content are resonating with more readers, as well as what content annoys more people.
Question 23: How many articles will Asian Junkie be able to squeeze out of the Iron controversy before it runs it course in the media?
I really don’t understand the mathsfag answer to this question that my survey software generated, but Asian Junkie is still sitting on a measly four articles at the moment, I think he needs to lift his determination levels and update us about Iron.
Question 24: What’s Amber’s sexuality?
Out of the “other” options people gave, “complainer” was the most credible. Many “other” choices also had a theme of helicopters for some reason which I’m yet to figure out.
Question 25: For those attracted to females, name your favourite physical feature for fapability purposes.
There’s a reason why Kpopalypse Fashion Class always focuses on boobs – don’t worry ladies, Kpopalypse is here to help your fapability score.
Question 26: For those attracted to males, name your favourite physical feature for fapability purposes.
As for the guys, the data shows that if you keep that face looking good, many faps shall you receive.
Question 27: Who is Sulli most likely to be dating?
Please be patient with me while I prepare my official denial response. In the meantime I hope netizens don’t edit together a whole bunch of out-of-context GIFs showing me and Sulli together, as this might be problematic for my career and possible future endorsements.
Question 28: Look at this comment from Kpopalypse on an old Anti Kpop-Fangirl article. Note the date.
How did Kpopalypse know this to be true, four years before the truth about Hwayoung was finally revealed in mainstream Korean media?
Remember kids – listen to Kpopalypse about these scandal thingies, so you don’t look like a fool years later. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t steer you wrong.
Question 29: Why do so many people want Kpopalypse to review songs, and get upset if the review doesn’t contain his actual opinion of the music?
Could many roundup readers just be seeking validation of their own opinions? Probably, according to the survey. Oh well, sucks to be them I guess.
Question 30: Thank you for doing another Kpopalypse survey! As a reward here is a picture of Eunjung with a bag on her head.
If you have any praise, criticism, observations or hot anonymous tips for Kpopalypse you can share them in this text box. Or you can leave it blank if you feel that “less is more”.
Below are some random responses to this question, and my answers/responses. Enjoy, and Kpopalypse will return with more posts soon!
What do you think happens to pop stars (Korean, Australian, wherever) after they retire? There’s not a lot of middle aged pop stars. Or have I just not found the right part of the internet?
Entry level retail jobs. Trainers at second-tier agencies.
Oppa, i need your guidance. I don’t mind when people disagree with me about what is/isn’t good. But i do mind when people dismiss my opinion by calling me pressed/salty/insecure, even though i am right (obviously). How do i either stop caring, or impress upon them that they are in fact the ones with the problem?
Blog about it, laugh. Works for me.
I like your blog, giving constructive criticism isn’t my forte so just accept the compliment ?
I calmly accept.
Just wanted to say thanks for keeping the blog frequently updated. Checking up on your site has become part of my browsing routine ever since I discovered it. I don’t know how I found it, but I’m glad I did. Even though I follow only 3 kpop groups, I was starting to feel sickened by the comments and reactions of each fandom. I could actually feel myself becoming stupider. The hive-mind you mention is real and I started noticing it was getting to me and distorting my normal brain function, so now I still semi-frequently check up on my favorite groups, but I avoid comment sections, reaction videos, fansites and other locations of blind adulation, creepy pervy-ness and/or disturbing levels of delusion.
So finding your blog was great. I feel like reading it is slowly repairing the damage my reasoning has imperceptibly suffered after little over one year of being a kpop fan. And I’m very thankful for that. Most of all, I appreciate your honesty and how you’re not afraid to point out phoneyness or wrongdoings. And although I know I’m not yet smart enough the grasp some of the subtleties in your serious articles, I believe that, in time, reading your blog will help me become a more aware person with a better ability to think critically.
On a subjective note, I don’t know how you do it- 4(?) jobs and a long-term girlfriend and a cat, and you still have time to keep this blog active and answer your askfm almost daily? What is this sorcery? I couldn’t do what you do. And another thing I noticed, you actually read what your readers write to you – comments, questions, quizzes, surveys, fanmail etc. Even their long monologues of personal woes and troubles and overall unhappiness. You read that stuff too. I’ve seen you reference yourself as an asshole several times, -and I’m sure there are contexts when you are one, we all have our moments-, but no one who would put in the effort to go through hundreds of messages from strangers in a sincere non-halfassed way without any form of compensation is an asshole. Call it whatever else; some people are intrinsically assholes and exude it through every fiber of their being, you sir are not that.
Okay, rant over. The point is, your blog is great, the overall quality of your posts is high, your fanfics are great, too and even your more pervy posts are entertaining and educational. I appreciate how often you update, although sometimes I wish there would be a fairer distance between when you post your articles, because there are times (the weekly roundup in particular) when articles cannibalize each other in terms of exposure. And if you’re thinking of opening an online store that’s cool too. But I’m telling you now I’m too broke to buy anything other than a keychain. Otherwise, all’s good, I like your blog, your efforts are very much appreciated.
Thank you for your time.
Thanks for reading! Sometimes I don’t know how I do it either… oh wait – high determination levels. (A long-term girlfriend who is awesome also doesn’t hurt.)
Less is more, but I was actually waiting for one of these boxes to ask something that came to my mind a few days ago at 4:00 am to interrupt my precious dream … why do these producers / consumers / hephap no-showerisim fags In the kpop believe that is necessary to have stupid forced rap sections with cringe lyrics that mostly of the time just fuck up the rest of the song? if they want to do something with their useless members, better to assign them something else, as we know looking pretty is a job, meet required standars is a constant search, etc, I do not likey likey … tolerate dis shitty raps anymore
Btw, i will be a fully caonima if you oppar reply this rant. Thanks
I think it relates a bit to the very early “idol” groups being very rap-focused, I think there’s a stronger correlation between rap and pop in Korea. Not completely sure though, maybe someone else has the true answer, that guy who wrote “Korea Goes Pop” probably knows.
Why not provide a recap of your radio show? Not everyone who wants to can listen in.
And more content is better. Have you thought about taking on guest writers? I’d hate to see this blog die because you get tired of the grind. But either way, thanks for your sense of humor and for being level-headed about this industry.
Kpopalypse roundup IS a recap of the radio show, that’s literally why it exists. You underestimate my determination levels to continue writing. Look at this long-ass post. Determination, no?
I always have praise for you.
The V files were a fantastic idea. I love your technical posts, when I see one, I smile, sit straighter on my chair, take a deep breath and dive into it. Sometimes I see people complaining about the length, but please don’t mind them. It’s a real article, with real contents, funny as hell and informative at the same time. You are like John Oliver (host of Last Week Tonight on the HBO, you probably don’t know him but it’s a compliment in my book): both of you talk about serious/boring stuff in an entertaining way.
I was a bit curious about something and I thought of asking your opinion as an insider.
I was watching a korean drama, Goblin. I loved the 50 sec intro song by Han Soo Ji and I wasn’t the only one. It had a tremendous success and everyone was waiting for the release of the full song. In the meantime I got bored with the drama and dropped it, and totally forgot about the song, when recently I thought ” hey, that drama ended, they probably released it!” I checked and there it was “Round and Round – The 14th Goblin ost”. I was quite excited but while listening I realised that after the already known 50 seconds the song was sung by another artist (Heize) and I though “what the fuck? where’s Han Soo Ji?!”. Unfortunately I wasn’t the only one, again, asking this question: cue to hundreds of angry tweets, messages, etc. The company, CJ E&M, had to explain, Heize had to explain (apologising), Han Soo Ji had to explain (throwing shade) anyway, mess. I don’t really care about it (I have my 50 sec version and that’s good for me), but it got me thinking: what really happened? Did they scam Han Soo Ji, paying her a misery (as always with indie artists and drama ost) and after the unexpected popularity of the intro (that they never thought of making into a song) they said: “fuck, do we really have to make a fucking full song and give royalties to that fucker/pay more?”. What about CJ E&M bullshit answer?
I was curious about your take on it. Here are the links to the song and to an article about the mess.
I had the idea of asking this trough Qrimole but then I thought that maybe it didn’t need an extensive explanation and I didn’t deserve a Qrimole spot.
Btw, you ruined béret for me. Now every time I wear one I think “oh, no! I’m doing the frenchface” (lol)
CJE&M are probably telling the truth. Really, it doesn’t matter who sung the song – singers get a pittance. It’s who wrote the song, which is where the money (potentially) goes, although in the world of Korean drama those people probably get stiffed too. But rest assured Han Soo Ji didn’t get any more robbed than she would have otherwise been!
Sulli is dating IU, why wasn’t that an option.
Anyway remember that time you tossed “Visual Dreams” into a roundup as an extra bonus (or something)? You should do that every time, specifically include a golden age song that you played that week. Those of us who only found k-pop in 2015 could always use more recommendations of old shit that was good (beyond what’s in the top 30 & honorable mentions).
I’ll consider this, but honestly the reason why I often don’t write about older songs is because I already have.
i have 2 admit i only remember u exist when ur articles are crossposted to asian junkie or when i see u thrashing IATFB’s asshole in the comments. i enjoy ur brutally honest articles tho bc not enough reviewers can get their hand off their dick long enough to actually talk about anything. so thx
I like your blog for many things, but when you review songs (you always shit on the group I like lol) you talk crap about everyone equally, so it’s fun…you don’t have an agenda to hype or to pretend something is not good just because you lowkey dont like the group unlike what I feel when I try to read AJ blog.
Sincerely, a caonima
PS. I hate you for Q7, so I went with the one I have no idea what he’s done
Oh dear you probably picked the worst one. But all good. And yes I give shit to everything because it’s funny (to me).
Try being actually funny! Also try going out more, maybe being around people get to make your writing OK and not bad as it is now.
Learn to edit, not everything that cross your mind is anywhere near good!
Try reading more, because from what i can tell you are not reading enough.
I write for my amusement, not yours.
Less is more when it comes to boobs for fapping over do a post representing the itty bitty titty comittee please you cunt
Go onto Asian Junkie, he likes girls like that. Didn’t IATFB say his wife was someone who was 43kg or some shit
In all seriousness, actually thank you, I never commented on any of your post(since I’m really shy). I used to be just a stalker(?) or maybe lurker(?) in this blog. Started from like maybe a year 2 years ago, I found AKF, then Asian Junkie, then Kpopalypse. Back then, I was often trigerred with some of you guys writings about some of Kpop Idols. But, maybe because I actually read other biased blog or sites like: allkpop, soompi, NB, Onehallyu’s fans rant, and many other. I gradually learned to form my own thoughts on things and not get swing by other’s opinions on things. So basically, I just want to say thank you for that. And sorry for the bad English. Hehe
Thanks for reading!
I really appreciate your long ass informative posts, thanks for those. But would you consider cutting some of them down into more bitesize, manageable chunks (maybe even haikus?) so I can spam them at delulus when I’m feeling grouchy and self righteous.
No. Spam them long-form articles, it annoys them more.
Hello! I only really have one suggestion, which is that Inhope Qrimole can become more if a bi-weekly or at least montly thing, because I really enjoy that series and re read it all the time. I also thought it might be fun to make a more interactive series for us caonimas, although I can’t think of what that should be. I also just wanted to say this blog always cheers me up when I’m down, and it came especially handy since I’m in my 2nd week of college and so many stressful things kept happening this week. I finally returned to school after two years of recovering from a panic disorder and I’ve been so worried that things won’t go well the second time round. Please send me some words of encouragement and/or a happy gif of encouragement. Thanks, and keep writing Kpopalypse Oppar!
QRIMOLE is going to be monthly from now on. Readers don’t forget to use the question box (in the sidebar)!
That’s Girl’s Day, you cruel monster. And I have to tell you I know, so that you know that I know that you know, even though you probably already know that I know that you know that I know that you know.
Also, you don’t know anything about the issues women still face. Stop basing your opinions on modern feminism off of the opinions of teenagers who like kpop. There were people in the second wave who thought that PMS was a conspiracy of the patriarchy, that doesn’t mean the whole movement wasn’t for a just cause against actual inequality. People have bad opinions all the time, we just forget the garbage from the past and remember only the good bits (think of how people venerate the music from the past and forget the trash). You are ignoring statistics (fyi Shoe On Head misquotes stats all the time) and doing actual acedemic footwork so you don’t have to answer uncomfortable questions about how you may be hurting other people. /screed
This is a bit of a strawman, I never based my opinions of feminism on any k-pop fan’s thoughts – those opinions were there before then. I base my opinions on feminism on what I see other men and women in my real life saying, and doing. I know plenty about the issues that women face because I have many female friends who face various issues daily and talk to me about them. That’s why I’m so forceful when a non-issue crops up and gets pushed like it’s the most important thing just because it’s trending in the media or whatever.
Hello. As an Asian, I sometimes don’t get the Aussie humor and sarcasm so I truly appreciate the links explaining the Aussie references. Reading you has not only widened my appreciation for things Korean but things Australian also.
Some people say my writing is condescending but for every post I get like that, there is also one like this. Education is good.
Why can’t you implement a Disqus comment section like the one AsianJunkie has. AJ is so cool. Why can’t you be cool.
I’m too old to be cool, I’ll settle for being a caonima.
you should do a squeaky clean and positive article with no humor/criticism/insight and talk nicely about my faves
You can get those anywhere.
In your first dream post you wrote: “Sooyoung doesn’t really look anything like Sooyoung, in fact she looks much closer to Joy from Red Velvet”. Were you aware of the fact Joy actual name is Sooyoung?
No, maybe it was my subconscious telling me this.
I know you are bigger cunt than AJ and NB combined but the Girl’s day question was fucking frustrating and it wake up that OCD maniac in me who I though was dead.
i love you man
I love all my readers! Thanks for reading!