What personal information does Kpopalypse collect about you?  How does he use this information?  Does anybody even care?  If you do, read on!

KPOPALYPSE PRIVACY POLICY

This statement covers the site kpopalypse.com. Please read this statement carefully before proceeding to access kpopalypse.com… oh wait, you’re already here.  Well I guess it’s a bit late now to be legally protected by this policy isn’t it.  You might as well read on though just to see what this shady legal document just got you to agree to without your knowledge.  Your use of kpopalypse.com indicates your agreement to abide by the terms in effect. The website is owned and operated by Kpopalypse (kind of – it’s actually owned by WordPress, who allow me to scribble all over their domain because they’re nice, tolerant folks, unlike many k-pop fans).  If you have any questions or suggestions regarding our privacy policy, that’s nice, maybe keep them to yourself.

WEBSITE VISITORS

Like most website operators, kpopalypse.com collects non-personally-identifying information from visitors of the sort that web browsers and servers typically make available, such as the browser type, language preference, referring site, and the date and time of each visitor request.  Kpopalypse’s purpose in collecting non-personally identifying information is to better understand how kpopalypse.com visitors use its website and also to be a nosy cunt.

STATISTICS

Kpopalypse may collect statistics about the behavior of visitors and use these for various purposes.  For instance, Kpopalypse may monitor the comments on the site for material that does not meet required standards and edit or delete as appropriate, or use spam screeners to help identify spam.  Kpopalypse may display this information publicly or provide it to others.  Kpopalypse also collects potentially personally-identifying information like Internet Protocol (IP) addresses but doesn’t really do anything with them because that seems like a lot of work and he cbf.  From time to time, Kpopalypse may release non-personally-identifying information such as huge metrics and statistics reports like this one here.  Don’t worry, not many people read these posts or give them much of a second thought after the week in which they’re published.

GATHERING OF PERSONALLY-IDENTIFYING INFORMATION

Certain visitors to kpopalypse.com may choose to interact with kpopalypse.com in ways that require Kpopalypse to gather personally-identifying information.  The amount and type of information that Kpopalypse gathers depends on the nature of the interaction. For example, if someone interacts with Kpopalypse by typing “you can come over to my house and fuck my mother”, Kpopalypse may enquire as to the location of said residence, the age and appearance of the mother in question and whether the mother has consented to said activity.

ADVERTISING

WordPress (the site that hosts kpopalypse.com) uses third-party advertising companies to serve ads when you visit the website, however Kpopalypse pays a small fee to WordPress to switch all of that bullshit off because he believes that third-party advertising on websites is an activity for fuckwits.  If you want to financially support Kpopalypse you can choose to do so through the Kpopalypse Patreon if you wish, but this is all completely optional and otherwise Kpopalypse will not serve third-party advertising.  Kpopalypse may from time to time however suggest that you buy (or abstain from buying) certain related or non-related products or services.  For example Kpopalypse may write “stan UZA or I will bash you”, or “one should consider buying the next Crayon Pop release just to ensure the stability and prosperity of their current lifestyle”, please consider this more as a “polite suggestion”.

PROTECTION OF PERSONALLY-IDENTIFYING INFORMATION

Kpopalypse discloses potentially personally-identifying and personally-identifying information in the following situations:

• to those of its employees, contractors and affiliated organizations that (i) need to know that information in order to process it on Kpopalypse’s behalf or to provide services to you, and (ii) that have agreed not to disclose this information to others.  Some of those employees, contractors and affiliated organizations may be located outside of your home country; by using kpopalypse.com, you consent to the transfer of such information to them.  This all sounds pretty heavy-duty but it isn’t really.  WordPress would be one of these organisations for instance, and obviously your activity is visible to their employees, who are bound by Privacy terms of their own which are not-at-all-coincidentally similar to these ones and which you can read here.
• when required to do so by law.
• when Kpopalypse believes in good faith that disclosure is reasonably necessary to protect the property or rights of Kpopalypse, third parties or the public at large (such as in the case of Naureen Gana because I’d feel terrible if any of you were scammed by that snake).
• When you’re being a dick and disclosure would therefore be funny.

Kpopalypse will not rent or sell potentially personally-identifying and personally-identifying information to anyone.  If you have supplied your email address, Kpopalypse may occasionally send you an email when a new post is created, although sometimes this doesn’t work for some unknown reason.  If you send us a request (for example if you tell Kpopalypse to get fucked), we reserve the right to publish it in order to help us clarify or respond to your request (get fucked how exactly) or to help us support other users (is this a request to fuck any other user in particular, and if so, do they meet required standards).  Kpopalypse takes all measures reasonably necessary to protect against the unauthorized access, use, alteration or destruction of potentially personally-identifying and personally-identifying information.

COOKIES

A cookie is a baked or cooked food that is small, flat, and sweet, usually containing flour, sugar and some type of oil or fat.  It may include other ingredients such as raisins, oats, chocolate chips or nuts.  Visitors to kpopalypse.com who do not wish to have cookies placed on their computers should consider utilising a cookie jar in a separate location for cookie storage.

A cookie also is a string of information that a website stores on a visitor’s computer, and that the visitor’s browser provides to the website each time the visitor returns. Kpopalypse uses cookies to help kpopalypse.com identify and track visitors, their usage of kpopalypse.com, and their website access preferences.  Paranoid nutty conspiracy-believing visitors to kpopalypse.com who do not wish to have cookies placed on their computers should set their browsers to refuse cookies, with the drawback that certain features of kpopalypse.com may not function properly without the aid of cookies.  Enjoy retyping your username and password again and again you paranoid tinfoil-hat-wearing dickhead.

CHILDREN UNDER 18 YEARS

What the fuck are you doing here.  Where are your parents?  Do they know that you read this trash?  Go do your homework instead you little bitch.  Kpopalypse recommends that children between the ages of 6 months and 18 years do not ask and receive their parents’ permission before using kpopalypse.com because if they find out that you’re even thinking about reading this garbage they’ll probably disown you and send you to an orphanage.  But seriously don’t overshare on the Internet you little dumbass, because creeps are out there, Kpopalypse encourages Internet safety for all readers.

PRIVACY POLICY CHANGES

Kpopalypse may change its Privacy Policy from time to time, and at Kpopalypse’s sole discretion.  Kpopalypse encourages visitors to frequently check this page for any changes to its Privacy Policy. Your continued use of this site after any change in this Privacy Policy will constitute your acceptance of such change, so theoretically you should check back on this post every single time you visit the site just in case I throw an extra clause in here saying that you’ve just consented for me to use your IP address to locate your mother.  However this is unlikely (even if your mother is really hot) and any such changes to this Privacy Policy are far more likely to be adding jokes to make this Privacy Policy more stupid and thus in keeping with the general tone of Kpopalypse’s idiotic writing style.  Any really important changes I’ll probably tell you about.

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Thanks for reading this Privacy Policy!  Feel free to continue to enjoy Kpopalypse blog safe in the knowledge that you know exactly how, where and why your information is being used!