It’s time once again for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
Lovelyz – WoW!
Everyone’s complaining about this song for various reasons which are all dumb. The chorus is “Destiny” part 2 and the rest is as close as k-pop has gotten to the “Zoolook” sound so far. I don’t see a negative here.
San E – What If
What if San E stayed with JYP and then we’d be restricted to one song from him per year at most. Might be a good thing, he’d have to pick and choose what to release instead of spamming us with every fucking thing he’s got, including all the junk he puts out like this which isn’t worth a damn.
Gavy NJ – An Obvious Melody
This starts off great as some kind of flamenco/tango hybrid and then breaks out the equally great surf guitar sounds for the chorus. A throwback to the golden days of CCM/MBK’s mid-paced ballads.
100% – Sketch U
Serious 80s pop vibes and general good times with the Coldplayishness kept to a dull roar, 100% are and always have been one of k-pop’s most consistent groups.
Imfact – Please Be My First Love
Okay I’m kind of glad that this is crap because I was wondering what was in the water over in Korea this week.
High4 – Love Line
Behind the scenes videos masquerading as actual videos are a good fallback for nugu agencies who want to cut a few corners.
Grace – Zombie High
An actually reasonable beat but everything’s kind of let down a little by all the vocal overdubs and general polish. It needed to sound raw and rugged like a zombie coming up from the grave to molest your ass, and it doesn’t quite get there.
Ailee – Reminiscing
Not as awful as I was expecting from an Ailee song billed as a “ballad” (even though it isn’t really), and is partially saved by some decent instrumentation, then Ailee comes in and does her best to ruin it with scat-style vocal, oh well. Hey at least Ailee is actually physically present in the music video this time, she’s one of the most consistently wasted fap-value idols in kpop. Her bumming around here with fans while wearing beanies and large coats is more likely to make me jizz than most idols in bikinis. Never underestimate The Snowyeon Effect.
Jungigo & Chanyeol – Let Me Love You
What the fuck is even going on in this video. Wait, I almost forgot that I don’t care.
Subin – Strawberry
Wow can she be any more boring.
Subin – Circle’s Dream
Yes – yes she can.
Most Badass Asian – MBA
Are these guys actually taking themselves seriously or are they a Korean version of Goldie Lookin Chain, I honestly can’t tell. Because if this isn’t a joke group and they expect anyone to actually seriously like this crap I feel sorry for them.
G2 ft Bago, Los, Dumbfounddead – Bang
Terrible, the usual trendy bullshit, so obviously going for an “It G Ma” vibe, as if that weak-as-piss excuse for a song is even worthy of listening to twice let alone emulating.
G2 ft. A.C.T – Bread
Yes I did hear what you said but nobody cares how much money you earn, unless you’re giving me some. G2 had better subscribe to my Patreon or stfu. By the way I changed my Patreon banner picture to Hyomin because she’s getting all the endorsements now, so it must be for a good reason. MBK hit me up for your cut.
Solar – Happy People
Apparently Solar is an almost total “plastic” and had just about every feature of her face changed from high school. I’m not complaining, because it’s her body and her life, and besides she looks pretty fucking good so at least she got her money’s worth, but it’d be nice if someone had put as much effort into her songwriting as they did into her fapability.
That’s all for this week’s roundup – more next week!