It’s time for another Kpopalypse roundup – let’s check out this week’s new releases!

Red Velvet – Rookie

Not that I’ve even read anyone else’s opinions, but I like this song for the same reason I reckon everyone else probably hates it – I think it needed to go even more in the “Lookie Lookie” pseudo-rap direction than it already is – when the girls stop talking and start singing those hideous blues-style vocals, that’s when the song starts getting seriously boring.  Still pretty cool though overall and I’m glad Red Velvet is mixing it up a little instead of doing the boring S.E.S cloning and stupid yelpy crap we’ve had to put up with from them until recently.

SF9 – Roar

A little too much fun with tone generators has been had on this track but it gets somewhat better as it goes along.

Block B – Yesterday

More odd production choices here, not sure why they tried to make this sound like Steve Albini recorded it in a tin shed but if nothing else it’s a nice change.

Day6 – You Were Beautiful

Hey everyone, The Wonder Girls broke up but it’s okay everyone, because we have kick-ass rock band Day6 and their new song and… oh hey, wait a second…

Madclown ft Bolbbalgan4 – Lost Without You

Still nobody is answering my question about this group.  Is it “Bolbbalgan4”?  Is it “Bolbbalgan Sachungi?”  Is it “Bolbbalgan Puberty”?  I understand that “sachungi” means “puberty” but then what is the “4” all about and why do they get called Bolbbalgan4 sometimes?  I won’t reveal my true feelings about this group or song until someone clears this linguistic mess up for me, because how can I write about them if I don’t even know how to write them.

Pentagon – Pretty Pretty

It really is the week of boy group comebacks with odd production that are okay-alright-I-guess.  Although this actually came out a few weeks ago and it just took me a while to find it.

From The Airport – The Jump

This is alright although I find the use of correct English grammar and pronunciation in a k-rock song deeply unsettling and I wish they’d stop that.  Where are those ex-Kara members when you need them.

BONUS SONGS

Suho & Youngjoo Song – Curtain

I guess it’s “curtains” for SM Station and thank fuck, while the concept was good we only got like three good songs out of it for a whole year and a bunch of boring crap like this.

Zion T. – The Song

Is it called “The Song” because Zion T. hasn’t really ever done one until now?

Black Tear ft Michelle Lee – Maniac

Absolute garbage.  Michelle Lee will probably never be given a good song.  Imagine being trapped in Korean R&B hell.

Klang – The Wanted

Sounds like one of those horrible nu-school female singers that are big in America with the nasally midrange voices and annoying obsession with “soul” or whatever.

My Golden Age – Fly Away

Sounds like an Australian 90s rock song, the sort of thing You Am I at their most rocking would do.  God, I hate You Am I.  I listen to k-pop to get away from this fucking bullshit.

Pia – Storm Is Coming

I saw that church in shadow at the start and expected Immortal to suddenly appear with torches and burn it down, unfortunately this is some bleep-bloop tropical dubstep shitpile or whatever instead, but I didn’t mind it once I contained my disappointment.

Burningsoda – Cutie Puppet

Rock and funk together needs to stop.  It’s not funky and it’s not very rocking either.  Thanks Red Hot Chilli Peppers for fucking up rock music for everyone else.

Luvan – oi

The raw sounds are great, it’s like someone tried to make the worst music in the world with the best instruments.  It starts off mumbly and shit like a Cohort Crew production, but then actually gets worse when the singing starts.  Be warned.

Dumfounddead ft. Too Short – Cochino

Sorry all you old-school hip-hop heads, Too Short was always shit even back in the day, always with limp production and so-so lyrics, that’s why he never really blew up despite being one of the original rap guys who consistently released a fuckload of albums.  So this song being trendy boring crap is no surprise.

Masc – Tina

On the other hand nobody has heard of this but it also sucks.

Dinosoul ft Bray – White

More crap.

Choi Jungyoon – Foolish Heart

Snoozy acoustic waste-of-time songs for idiots aren’t just for SM Entertainment.  With a little effort you too can suck just as much as the biggest label in k-pop.

Street Guns – You Girl

Some rockabilly-lite thing, not very interesting, like the Stray Cats at their weakest.

Ji Hoon Shin – You Are A Star Already

Ugh.

HuhGak – Miss You

I often miss HuhGak too, but hopefully my aim will improve.

---

That’s all for this week – more new stuff next week!