Welcome to the second part of the Kpopalypse roundup clearing house post! This is the post that has all the reader picks of songs that I missed earlier in the year! If your pick isn’t here, that means I’ve already covered it, or I left it out to annoy you.
Note that there are a lot of videos here, if your browser struggles to cope with the volume of any of my lists I recommend switching to Google Chrome which gives me no problems.
Bolbbalgan Puberty – Tell Me You Like Me
So what actually is the name of this group, is it “Bolbbalgan Puberty”, or “Bolbbalgan4” or “Bolbbalgan Sachungi”… or are they all different subgroups or what?
Bolbbalgan Puberty – Fight Day
What the fuck is a Bolbbalgan anyway? Can I smack this bitch in the head with a Bolbbalgan to stop her from singing?
Bolbbalgan Puberty – Galaxy
She looks like Hwayoung with a cheap dye job and even less interesting rapping.
All of JY’s crappy songs
Sorry I can’t embed the videos but I didn’t like any of them, you’re missing out on about three words of negative snark per song.
Tao & Wiz Khalifa – Hello, Hello
I fucking hate this bullshit slow R&B/rap garbage but don’t worry Tao, Wiz knows that you should never accept rejection from Kpopalypse as a failure.
Cross Gene – Ying Yang
Oh my god they called it ying yang, they’re appropriating Chinese culture, let’s all crack a shit everyone… or not. The song sucks, who cares about the name of something nobody will ever listen to more than once.
BTS – Young Forever
Actually you guys won’t be young forever. Neither will your fans, who will all eventually grow up and wonder how their teenage hormones suckered them into liking this shit.
EXO-CBX – The One
This song borrows some of the popular synths from Drum & Bass style, but not the actual drums and bass, if that makes any sense at all. It’s also not very good.
Ravi – what is this even
Imagine a world where people actually thought this was good music. Oh wait, we’re already in that world. Oh dear.
B-Free – James Bond
It’s a bit hard for me to assess this fairly given the terrible live-bootleg-style sound quality, but I still get the feeling that I’m not missing much.
BRAY, DUCKBAE, GiantPink, Miryo, DJ Drev – All I Know
A really good beat here, excellent actually, although they put some strings in to soften it when Miryo raps because I guess idols aren’t used to rapping over decent beats so they’re probably trying to make her feel more comfortable, that’s very thoughtful.
Sixth Sense – Don’t Go
A terrible song, nowhere near as good as the song of theirs that got into the honourable mentions list. Guess that one was a one-off.
BeatWin – Broken
Boring R&B boy ballad, just like every other one.
Keith Ape & Ski Mask TheSlumpGod – Dr. Eggman
Generic trap garbage, absolute moronic trash but probably also the best thing Keith Ape has ever done.
Keith Ape ft. K$upreme & Okasian – Fendi
Seriously who listens to these morons? They sound retarded but they can’t be because they’re doing quite well for themselves so maybe they’re just really good at faking stupidity, like a hip-hop version of that Lars Von Trier film.
Uno the Activist ft. Yung Gleesh & Keith Ape – Both Ways
The joke must be pretty funny if you’re actually IN this crew, but to everyone else this is like watching retards play with their own shit instead of flushing it like normal people.
Dbo – Space
This guy is terrible too. Anything from the 88rising Youtube channel is terrible. For future reference so I don’t have to waste my time reviewing any of it. I skipped all this shit when it came out FOR A REASON.
Heechul & Jungmo – Ulsanbawi
I love how trot always has the over-the-top distorted electric guitar, the nutty twin guitar harmonies don’t fit the vibe of the song but the vibe of the song is “snoozy shit” so some relief is welcome.
Sunny Girls – Taxi
I usually leave non-feature tracks the fuck alone so this wouldn’t have gone in Roundup anyway, had I noticed or cared about this extreme averageness.
f(x) – Cowboy
What happened to f(x)? They are just shit now. They’re lucky this wasn’t a feature track or I’d be devoting a lot more words to it.
H.U.B – The Time We Spent Together
How many girls in k-pop groups play as #23 for the Bulls? Someone should do a compilation.
Mei Qi – Once Up A Time In The Northeast
I also don’t generally review OST stuff which is why this and a whole bunch of other stuff like it wasn’t included. This is better than about 99% of OST stuff but it’s still pretty bad.
Thornapple – Seoul
Then there are songs like this, which routinely get skipped over. I knew about this song when it came out but I didn’t put it in roundup at the time because I assumed nobody would give a shit about this pure boredom and I couldn’t even think of anything to write about it, I skip quite a few songs from roundups for this reason and it’s usually stuff that sounds exactly like this. Roundup is never supposed to be “complete”, it’s just stuff I think people would be most interested in. I’m amazed anyone even remembered this song existed.
Stellar – Sting (Hanbok version)
This is just a thank you to all the people who check the Kpopalypse roundup each week! Regular weekly roundup is still on hiatus and will return in early 2017!